[NiteOwlMommy]

Hello,
I'd like to start with stating that I don't like bashing on people who are bigger than me, just keep that in mind .
So a while back ago I was invited to a birthday party, at the time I had just lost about 10-15 pds, and was listening to some cousins of mine talk about weight loss. I asked what they had been doing and added that I was also starting my journey towards a healthier me. We continued chatting when they started asking the highest weight we had been, since I was asked first I answered 202 and was immediately told that they would have considered weight loss surgery because that was just too big and losing would be impossible. I told them that I had lost 10-15 pds fairly easily and I was confident that my efforts will pay off in time. Now these girls are in no way thin easily 180+ a piece but the fact that they ganged up on me was hurtful!

I asked them their weight and they casually said "oh I was 165 before I started losing weight and even then I felt disgusting how do you cope?" I told them that I managed but they just giggled. I noticed a scale in the restroom and jumped on and said "see? 192(I think)" so I told them to jump on to see the progress they had made, it seemed innocent enough since they are claiming to be in the 150's and did they jump on? NO they had to hurry and get dressed they said as they ran out. The rest of the day I was being watched as I ate and I hated it! This is suppose to be family and they treated me as if I had the plague. Aargh! Anyone else go thru something like this?

[YoYoKimmy]

There are 2 things that women are rarely honest about. Their age and their weight. I think you must have struck a nerve with them, with your honesty. It must have caught them off guard since they weren't willing to be honest too.

[Tricia Fierce]

Originally Posted by NiteOwlMommy

Hello,
I'd like to start with stating that I don't like bashing on people who are bigger than me, just keep that in mind .
So a while back ago I was invited to a birthday party, at the time I had just lost about 10-15 pds, and was listening to some cousins of mine talk about weight loss. I asked what they had been doing and added that I was also starting my journey towards a healthier me. We continued chatting when they started asking the highest weight we had been, since I was asked first I answered 202 and was immediately told that they would have considered weight loss surgery because that was just too big and losing would be impossible. I told them that I had lost 10-15 pds fairly easily and I was confident that my efforts will pay off in time. Now these girls are in no way thin easily 180+ a piece but the fact that they ganged up on me was hurtful!

I asked them their weight and they casually said "oh I was 165 before I started losing weight and even then I felt disgusting how do you cope?" I told them that I managed but they just giggled. I noticed a scale in the restroom and jumped on and said "see? 192(I think)" so I told them to jump on to see the progress they had made, it seemed innocent enough since they are claiming to be in the 150's and did they jump on? NO they had to hurry and get dressed they said as they ran out. The rest of the day I was being watched as I ate and I hated it! This is suppose to be family and they treated me as if I had the plague. Aargh! Anyone else go thru something like this?

Hi there,

To answer your question, YES. My entire childhood went like that! I grew up around a bunch of girls and women with their own body image issues and because I was always the chubby one (then eventually, one of the chubby ones, seriously) I would get those kind of comments (ignorant, inane, and insecure). I've chosen to keep these family members at arms length (or longer) in my adult life because I've learned that being related to me doesn't give someone the right to spew their toxicity in my life. Girl I could write and rant all night about this one...

[silentarctic]

Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. I wish I could share the love and support I receive from everyone I know with you. If Anyone told me I should have considered weight loss surgery I would crush them to pieces (in my mind!). Just uncalled for and highly unlikely. ~major hugs~

[milmin2043]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, many times, family and the people who are supposed to be are biggest supporters are often times the people who hurt us the very most.

My mother used to introduce my sister and I as "my 2 fat daughters". It took me years to realize that she had her own issues with body image and that she was embarrassed that we were overweight. (Although at the time, neither of us was particularly heavy). We have talked about it since, and she has apologized, but I will never forget those cutting remarks. It was as if we had nothing to offer because we were fat. Nevermind intelligence, humor, wit, spirit, NADA. Just that we were fat.

Again, sorry about this. Don't let it derail you. Keep going and don't stoop to their little games. You'll be a better person for it.

[Nola Celeste]

I'm so sorry that happened to you; their behavior was wretchedly rude.

You're a kinder person than I am, because the person who asked, "how do you cope?" would've gotten a response of, "Oh, I find it easier to bear up under this excess weight than you'll find it to get through life with your stank attitude."

Don't let them under your skin. Pity them, because their lives are not going to be very easy. They will forever be comparing themselves unfavorably to people thinner, prettier, and (one day) younger than themselves while you remain focused on improving your own health and well-being.

[Beach Patrol]

Originally Posted by Nola Celeste

the person who asked, "how do you cope?" would've gotten a response of, "Oh, I find it easier to bear up under this excess weight than you'll find it to get through life with your stank attitude."

HA!!! I think I love you!!! (great comeback!)

While I've encountered all sorts of comments from all sorts of people (family, friends, strangers, ***holes) I have to say that family/friends - that is, those you love the most & depend on for support & so forth... somehow... just seem to be able to get the digs in a little deeper. I think most of the time, they don't MEAN to be mean, but sometimes something a person says just really RESONATES with something we're feeling or thinking about ourselves at the moment, and WHAM! - feels like you've been kicked, slapped, beaten with a garden hose.

For me, I rarely get upset when anybody mentions my fatness. Whether it's off-handed or back-handed! - I usually spit out a comeback remark (99.9% it's a humorous remark) & go on my merry way. But there is something that I truly DO.NOT.APPRECIATE. And that's remarks about my eating habits - whether positive or negative.

"Oh, going back for 2nds I see!"
"You're first in line at every family gathering."
"Look at you, shoveling it in!"
"Beach Patrol sure does eat well." (WTF????????????)
"You've been eating the same lunch for 2 months now."
"You really should learn how to cook more/better/differently."
"Why can't you have chocolate? I've seen you eat it before."
"Maybe you should try putting your fork down between bites."
"Oh, have another slice of cake! One more ain't gonna hurt you."

etc, etc, etc.

Most times it just garners a big ol "roll-eyes" from me.
Every now & then, I'll tell'm to keep their crappy opinions to themselves.
But sometimes? I feel like "POW! TO THE MOON!!!!"