This is a bit of a winded post, but I needed to get this out. If you don't feel like, reading, just skip to the end where my question is. Any help would be so greatly appreciated.
I stepped on the scale in high school and saw that 199 light light up between my toes. I had always been the 'fat girl' and I was determined from that day on to lose weight and now weigh 136. If you would've told me back then that I'd weigh this little now, I would've thought I'd be loving my body like crazy. I thought I'd be wearing the cutest clothing, bikini body no doubt, attention from everyone, an overall 'rockin' body' so to speak.
Not the case...
Instead I feel self conscious of my smaller but loose and untoned body. My thighs are jiggly as all get out, my tummy has some work to do, and my arms are flabby as well. I still can't wear those cute shorts all the girls my age wear, bikini body? yeah, not even close.
I look at pictures of myself from 6 years ago and feel terrible. I feel terrible because I'm embarrassed that I used to look like that.
I never realized that weight-loss and self-esteem really aren't completely related. I lost the weight, but haven't learned to love myself.
My self esteem is pretty bad. If anyone has the same issues and has overcome them, I would be so incredibly thankful for any advice.
I have this exact problem!! I went from 312 to 170...which wasn't my first choice for goal weight but I am not sure if I want to get to 150 anymore. But anyhow, I also really hate my body and have no idea what to do. I guess I thought if I lost the weight my body would be perfect, tone and I'd be wearing a bikini...but nope.
No idea how to answer your post as I haven't found a solution to it myself.
This is why it is so important to be able to love yourself no matter what your size. Losing weight doesn't solve issues we have with ourselves. Did you exercise while losing? That's really important. You can tone your body with weights and cardio. Self esteem issues sometimes take counseling.
First of all, I want to congratulate you on such an amazing accomplishment! I'd also like to say that we are are own worst critics. Where you may see lots of fault, others may see a whole lot of beauty. Also, it does take time for your mind to catch up to your new body. I've had this happen before and yes, I do get loose skin and areas that I obsess over. This time, I won't let that happen. Why? Because I know where it gets me. Being self critical only makes me eat more and then I'm back to where I started. Most importantly, you could have all those imperfections be what they are or you could have them filled with fat. What do you prefer? I much prefer the skin to the plumped up skin with fat.
Sometimes, it helps to take a look at photos that are before and after. Maybe put some of those up to where you can see them. How about going for a makeover? Get a new hair cut or color and some new clothes?
Finally, don't compare yourself to other girls your age. It's a no-win situation. It's always possible to find someone thinner, shorter, taller, whatever you're after, but you're you and you have a body that you were given and you're taking darn good care of it so why not enjoy it?
Sometimes, I think it helps to volunteer somewhere. It makes you look outside of yourself and makes you love yourself more. How about volunteering at a children's hospital? I used to do that when I was younger. Or, you could help out at a food bank. You'll be surprised at how much that can do for you.
I hope you find a way to love yourself....because everyone deserves that, regardless of weight, size, body shape, etc.
First of all, I want to congratulate you on such an amazing accomplishment! I'd also like to say that we are are own worst critics. Where you may see lots of fault, others may see a whole lot of beauty. Also, it does take time for your mind to catch up to your new body. I've had this happen before and yes, I do get loose skin and areas that I obsess over. This time, I won't let that happen. Why? Because I know where it gets me. Being self critical only makes me eat more and then I'm back to where I started. Most importantly, you could have all those imperfections be what they are or you could have them filled with fat. What do you prefer? I much prefer the skin to the plumped up skin with fat.
Sometimes, it helps to take a look at photos that are before and after. Maybe put some of those up to where you can see them. How about going for a makeover? Get a new hair cut or color and some new clothes?
Finally, don't compare yourself to other girls your age. It's a no-win situation. It's always possible to find someone thinner, shorter, taller, whatever you're after, but you're you and you have a body that you were given and you're taking darn good care of it so why not enjoy it?
Sometimes, I think it helps to volunteer somewhere. It makes you look outside of yourself and makes you love yourself more. How about volunteering at a children's hospital? I used to do that when I was younger. Or, you could help out at a food bank. You'll be surprised at how much that can do for you.
I hope you find a way to love yourself....because everyone deserves that, regardless of weight, size, body shape, etc.
Thank you so much for your reply. There are numerous things you mentioned that I'm definitely going to try Thank you!
This is why it is so important to be able to love yourself no matter what your size. Losing weight doesn't solve issues we have with ourselves. Did you exercise while losing? That's really important. You can tone your body with weights and cardio. Self esteem issues sometimes take counseling.
I exercised while losing weight, but not nearly as much as I should have. I'm currently working on toning my body so hopefully that will help I've also been to a counselor, but you reach a certain point where not even a counselor can't help you-- you just need to learn to love yourself and that's that. Hopefully I'll get there one day
I had the exact same problem. I lost about 45 pounds a few years ago, kept it off for ~3 years and then it slowly came back on. Even with the huge weight loss, I was still basically the same shape. I exercised a lot and was still just a short squat person.
Once the compliments stopped and the negative comments came up "have you given up that diet yet?" "You'll start gaining it back any day now." etc.
I haven't figured out how to fix it yet. I'm back up almost to my original weight.
So what ever you do keep doing what you are doing, don't give up. Because it's so easy to turn to food to make your self feel better for just a little bit.
Sarah
People really said you were going to gain it back? to your face?? That's insane.
When you spend a long time being self-critical, it becomes habit. Now that you don't have the easiest thing to pick, you find other faults. It's a habit you have to break. I think seeing a therapist would probably help a lot, at least get you moving in the right direction.
Finally, don't compare yourself to other girls your age. It's a no-win situation. It's always possible to find someone thinner, shorter, taller, whatever you're after, but you're you and you have a body that you were given and you're taking darn good care of it so why not enjoy it?
This just struck me in just the right way. Thanks for that!
To the OP, I just realized how often I find women who are shorter and taller and I'm envious, or women who have smaller hips, a narrower waist, straighter hair, a smaller chest. I am envious and I have this way of thinking everyone wants the same type of body I envy.
But you know what? Some people probably look at me and wish they had my curly hair, my big chest, my curvy hips, my height, my fair skin. None of that's MY cup of tea...but my body is probably envious to someone.
I lost my weight in 2009 (reaching my lowest by August '09). I was surprised I still had a belly pouch, my arms still jiggled, etc. I was thin but SO uncomfortable with the body. I was also "slight" and not as big of a physical force anymore. From another angle, I could gain 20 plus pounds back without noticing because I was so much thinner than I'd ever been since puberty. It'd happened a decade earlier. I just didn't notice the gaining.
I have been working on recognizing bellies and jiggles are part and parcel with my body and I'll need to live with it. I am trying to love myself in tiny (but increasing) increments. I pour sesame oil in my bath to soften my skin. I am systematically scouring my heels and softening my feet.
I'm trying to wear better outfits (though I'm a very simple, plain person who isn't looking for fashion). This past horrible year, I found towards the end I was only wearing beige, brown, beige, brown--all the time. I color my moods. So, I am also trying to add a bit of color.
It's not always easy to love ALL of me, but I can handle loving PARTS of me most of the time. Does that make sense? It's been helping me come round back to my volumetrics foods, getting back on track with my final weight goal, and living within a peaceful place.
I had the exact same problem. I lost about 45 pounds a few years ago, kept it off for ~3 years and then it slowly came back on. Even with the huge weight loss, I was still basically the same shape. I exercised a lot and was still just a short squat person.
Once the compliments stopped and the negative comments came up "have you given up that diet yet?" "You'll start gaining it back any day now." etc.
I haven't figured out how to fix it yet. I'm back up almost to my original weight.
So what ever you do keep doing what you are doing, don't give up. Because it's so easy to turn to food to make your self feel better for just a little bit.
Sarah
People told you your weight would be gained back? That is terrible! Luckily, I haven't had people say something like that to me. I'm going to try my hardest to keep it off. So far, it stays off fairly easily without much effort. I'm sure as I get older too, that will change.
Good luck with getting back to where you were! I'm sure you can do it
I realized through out my life no matter what changes I made to my self I was still left with the scars from the pain those things caused. It wasnt until I told me self over and over again that no matter what I look like I am a good person and if there isnt someone that can love me for who I am no matter what I look like then they dont deserve me. It took a while but really other peoples ignorance is what makes girls well and boys too today hate them selves so much and its so sad. If every one just shut up and didnt judge people based on looks no one would have such low self esteem. Just dont look for a boost from other people try to find it in your self. You are beautiful no matter what your body looks like. Its not something that will happen over night but one thing I realized after losing weight (gained it back since) but it was that I felt like a stranger. I was fat for so long I didnt know what to do as a skinny person. However I got pregnant and fat again before I figured out how to deal with this new person. I dont think your issues with self esteem will go away on their own but I think if you get someone to talk to it could help immensely!
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That makes me want to cry I post a lot over in the 100lb forum, and I'm a broken record over there cautioning people that losing weight doesn't guaranted happiness. I'm always urging people not to put things off until they're "perfect" and finally worthy of all the things they dream of.
Losing weight is great, don't get me wrong, it makes you feel good about yourself, you have more energy and maybe even a brighter outlook than you had before. But it doesn't fundamentally change who YOU are as a person. Hinging your happiness and self-worth on a number on a scale is a losing battle to be sure.
Luckily, just like weight loss, changes on the inside are possible. They might take more work for some than others, but it's do-able for sure! So many good thoughts on here, some to just get out of your own way and spend time helping others and seeing how 'the other half' lives etc., that can really put things into perspective.
I've never understood the link between loving oneself and weight, or people who think they're a 'bad person' because of excess weight. I was a self-indulgent person, but never bad!
And as corny as it sounds, if you are not crazy in love with yourself, how are other people going to be???
The fat acceptance movement and health at any size are really important to me. I learned to love my body when I was at my fattest my reading blogs and looking at pictures of beautiful fat women. I took pictures of myself until I could look at a picture of myself at my heaviest without being shocked and disgusted. I looked at BBW who did burlesque dancing and were totally confident and sexy.
I never could have started to lose weight until I accepted myself as I was. Fat or thin, weight will never be the most important thing in my life, and I will always be the same person, with more or less the same struggles, flaws and virtues.
When I think about what I like about myself, I think about taking good care of my family, the volunteer work I do for my college, how hard I work at my job, etc. How I look generally is not at the top of the list.
I lost the weight, why don't I love myself?
Thank you!
I post a lot over in the 100lb forum, and I'm a broken record over there cautioning people that losing weight doesn't guaranted happiness. I'm always urging people not to put things off until they're "perfect" and finally worthy of all the things they dream of. 
