[javan]

I had my weight loss surgery in December of 2008. I have had a good loss of 126 pounds. Over the last six months I have been struggling with things. In August of 2010 I had to have emergency surgery to release two incarcerated hernias. My intestines had got bunched up in the scar tissue of my abdomen and I can not even begin to tell you the pain that I was in. I had a shoulder repair done at the beginning of November. In early December I went back in to the doctors to have her check on the returned abdominal pain. I had a cat scan preformed and it showed that there was not another hernia. It did come up with a mass in my left lung. Over the next month I had different test done that could not tell me whether or not it was cancer. On the 3rd of January I had a lung biopsy to make a final diagnosis. To my relief it was not cancer but a fungal infection called Histoplasmosis. I have not done well dealing with the stress of it all. I at one point and time was able to get down to under 200 but have been eating all the wrong things and eating it whether is makes me sick or not. I feel emotionally fried but am going further down the depression slope with not doing it right. How do I get back on track and stay there. I do not want to get fat again and I want to be about 10 pounds lighter again. I am happy with not getting under 200 but am not happy about getting above 210 again. My skinny clothes are not fitting and I got rid of all my fat clothes and then it all just keeps piling on.

[jillybean720]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time - you've been through a lot!

For e, it's easiest if I don't think about it as being "on track" or "on plan" or anything like that, but rather just being healthy. For us, "protein first" Is a must for good health, and I don't usually have a whole lot of room left for junk after I've eaten a big serving of protein. Ditto for water - I got into the habit of not allowing myself to drink anything other than plain water until I've had at least 2 liters of water. Just try to find ways to work healthy things into your normal routine.

[jiffypop]

wow. just wow. you've been through a lot and let's be honest - you've done quite well with all the stress. and it's great that you want to get back on track.

how about going back to the basics? like jilly said - protein first, water mostly. and be GENTLE with yourself. histoplasmosis is curable, but it takes time - so don't push it.

and to deal with the emotional aspects of all you've been through - maybe try substituting something other than food? walking? knitting? music? the choice is yours - and let's face it, none of us got to the point of surgery without some emotional issues with food.

sending you warm

[missangelaks]

WOW, indeed! You have been through the wringer!! Many times...What a strong person you are, my friend!

Jiffy is right, be kind to yourself...you are your own best friend, you be there for yourself as you would for a really good friend. Honest and compassionate.

Jill is right, too. Protein and water is the best place to start. I would add only one more thing to this list of "how I take good care of me".....exercise! If you do ANYTHING that gets your heart a-pumpin' for 20 minutes or more, it releases endorphins: the body's appétit suppressant, the brain's anti-depressant, Nature's stress reliever!

I just thought of this…its dance, eat, drink, and be merry...Oh ya, I like it.

Angela

[jiffypop]

dance - eat - drink- and be merry. Angela - is that the right order??? LOL!!!!

[javan]

Thanks all for the well wishes. I am and have always been my worst enemy. I will take it to the basics. I know that I only listed only about half of what I have dealt with. I did not want to sound too needy. Since October of '09 I have been in the hospital 4 times for my heart being out of rhythm, twice for chest pains and shortness of breath, a complete hysterectomy, and then an infected incision sight that needed attention and ended up on home health visits with a wound vac to get it to seal up. I have been treated for Fibromyalgia and if I do not exercise on a regular basis to at least stretch and things like that I hurt but if I do to much it hurts. I am tired of being in pain somewhere in my body 24 hours a day. I do remind myself that it is much easier to deal with at my current weight and not 120 pounds heavier.

[jiffypop]

oh honey. not sure if it's any consolation, but we have someone here - a fairly regular poster - except when she gets too busy - who also has fibromyalgia. she's tried lots of things, with varying degrees of success [but i think she's onto something right now].

and i've been having heart rhythm problems as well - pretty much under control. thank goodness. but that hasn't been easy. and did you know that those of us who've had gastric bypass are at a higher risk of heart rhythm problems? i didn't know either - didn't find it out until i was sitting in the elecrocardiologist's office. fortunately, his attitude is that WE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. makes a huge difference.

so, honey, welcome aboard! we gotta help each other take care of ourselves!