Hi. I started losing weight the end of January 2010. In 6 months I lost 60 pounds...yay me. Since July I have been really sucking at my diet. Right now I weigh 270#. I made a plan of what I wanted to weigh by Oct 31, and I'm 30 pounds from that goal. Oh well. it's my fault, I had wayyy too many slip ups. But here is why I'm pissed/frustrated, my bf (we've been together for 18 years) is the laziest SOB in the world!!! He doesn't do ANYTHING to help around the house. Sometimes I think I have wasted the last 18 years of my life with him. He is about 100 pounds overweight and he says he wants to lose weight but he never tries. It's very infuriating when I'm busting my *** trying to eat well and live a better life and he will have 6 waffles with loads of butter and syrup for breakfast and when he's done with that will have a bowl or two of cereal!!!!! When I'm thin (and welll before then!) I want to do lots of activities and fun things. He is interested in sitting in front of the TV, stuffing his face. I don't really expect any advice, I just needed to post this rant. Thanks for reading. :-)
The best you can do is be an example for him. He will see the success that you are having and want to change his ways too. Lead by example and show him just how amazing you are at changing you life!
You can do this! Make a plan that works for you and that you will stick to. Take away the option of failure and want this more than anything else.
i say get the junk out of the house. if he wants to eat that, he has to do it some where else. he can't get fat on carrot sticks. and you shouldn't have to deal with him eating tempting things in front of you if you have a problem with it.
I think I would have an honest heart to heart talk with him. I'm sure that deep down he knows that if you continue to lose weight and get healthier, that might have implications on your relationship. I would just be up front about it, something like, "Look, we have gotten into a pattern with this being overweight, stuffing our faces, lazing around on the couch, whatever, and I know I've been your eating partner all this time. I also know that I'm the one changing the game here, and that I'm basically asking you to change your whole life for me. But the bottom line is, I have discovered and come to the decision that I want a new life, and I'm going to get there, whether you come along for the ride or not. I love you and you are my partner, but things are going to change for me. I'd love for you to join me in this, but if not, there most likely is going to come a day when I just can't live this way with you anymore, whether I want that to happen or not."
Sorry to go all Dr. Phil with the dialog , but why not just say what you've probably been feeling and really let him know what the bottom line is? If, of course, that IS the bottom line. I'm just assuming that because you said you feel like you've wasted the past 18 years, and I imagine that once you start to feel really good, you won't want to waste the next 18.
Are you my twin?? I was the same starting weight as you, have lost the same, and have been with my husband 18 years. I'm just up here in NH.
My husband is super supportive - but I agree with someone above, your boyfriend might feel threatened by this new change in your lifestyle and is trying to sabotage you.
Hi. I started losing weight the end of January 2010. In 6 months I lost 60 pounds...yay me. Since July I have been really sucking at my diet. Right now I weigh 270#. I made a plan of what I wanted to weigh by Oct 31, and I'm 30 pounds from that goal. Oh well. it's my fault, I had wayyy too many slip ups. But here is why I'm pissed/frustrated, my bf (we've been together for 18 years) is the laziest SOB in the world!!! He doesn't do ANYTHING to help around the house. Sometimes I think I have wasted the last 18 years of my life with him. He is about 100 pounds overweight and he says he wants to lose weight but he never tries. It's very infuriating when I'm busting my *** trying to eat well and live a better life and he will have 6 waffles with loads of butter and syrup for breakfast and when he's done with that will have a bowl or two of cereal!!!!! When I'm thin (and welll before then!) I want to do lots of activities and fun things. He is interested in sitting in front of the TV, stuffing his face. I don't really expect any advice, I just needed to post this rant. Thanks for reading. :-)
WARNING* Skip this post if you don't want a butt kicking.
Honey...It's not your boyfriends fault you have stopped losing weight, (and put back on a few pounds). YOU said YOU have been sucking at it, you are slipping way too much. You then turn around and say you are busting your a$$...NO, you are not busting your @$$, you are slipping up. YOU are not doing what YOU need to do. Sure, the BF might be a great excuse right now, but this isn't about him. It's about YOU. You know how to do it, and you did do it in the beginning, and he was exactly the same then as he is now. He hasn't changed, you have.
For the record, my husband eats a bag of chips and drinks a 6 pack of full body Budweiser EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I'm not kidding you. He eats healthy meals because that's all I cook, but he brings home crap and orders crap at restaurants. I wish he would follow my lead, but he choices not to. I have just decided that I can't let his bad habits derail me. When I smoked, he never thought he had to pick up a cigarette and smoke with me, so why do I need to eat crap with him. I don't. And when I do let his bad eating influence me, it's because I want to feel sorry for myself.
If you can't live with this man, dump him...but don't blame him for your bad choices.
I agree 100% with Lori Bell. My husband also could eat down an entire pizza & 6 pack a night, it is up to ME to choose not to do so. It is very hard, and yes, it would be easier if he didn't do those things, but he was like that when he met me and it is not my place to make him change. The old saying "you can't change a man" really does apply, even in the kitchen
I agree with Lori Bell too. I really used to blame my husband about my own eating habits. He is really bad about ordering late night pizzas, bringing home junk food and eating it in front of me. Know what? I had it pointed out to me, on this site I might add, that he is NOT stuffing it in my face and I know very well what eating bad food is going to do to me. I was the one that decided to go ahead and have a slice, or have a scoop of ice cream. I was the one that decided to "relax" on the diet for a day, then two, then a week... You see where I'm going with this. You aren't a mindless robot. You can say no. It's hard and uncomfortable and unpleasant sometimes, but you have to decide that your own health is more important than food and being lazy.
It *is* frustrating when you don't get help from someone when you need it. But with weight loss, no one is going to help you more than you are. So what if he stuffs his face all day? You're more than capable of connecting the dots and realizing that bad food = no weight loss. If he chooses that lifestyle for him, so be it. He's an adult as much as you are, and you can't control him either. Be a good example for him. That's where I am right now with my husband. I can't control what he eats and what he does, but I can sure as heck control what I eat and do.
You can do this! Accept accountability and move on to a healthier you!
I agree with the above comments. As much as we would love the support of others in the weight loss journey, no one should have to change just because we have decided to change. This is a hard concept with spouses and those we live with, we so often wish they really understood our needs.
A person has to want to change within themselves. It may be easier for spouses to be on the same wavelength about most things, it makes life a bit smoother, but it can't always be that way. even though my husband struggles with his excess weight, we don't always agree on the way to accomplish weight loss. I often feel frustrated when I struggle so and see my husband is oblivious to my angst and eats in front of me. He is full of support, but doesn't get it sometimes. His eating needs are different than mine and all I can do is keep working it for myself. It is a lonely journey sometimes, but then, no one else can do it but me.
Frustrated and Pissed!!!
, but why not just say what you've probably been feeling and really let him know what the bottom line is? If, of course, that IS the bottom line. I'm just assuming that because you said you feel like you've wasted the past 18 years, and I imagine that once you start to feel really good, you won't want to waste the next 18. 
