Taking your clothes off! How do you feel about it?
Hi all!
OK-so I had to ask. I have lost over 200 lbs and I have a VERY difficult time not layering on the clothing!
As a big girl-I knew my body! It was a big body and I knew that. I sort of found my own "sexy" as a big girl.
Yes-I needed to lose the weight as I was unhealthy and really I was dying. I dreamed of losing the weight. However-I could never had imagined what it would feel like.
Here are some things that stand out to me-as things I never expected:
Feeling a bit overwhelmed when being hugged by someone larger-like hubby. (I was always the bigger one!!) I almost feel enveloped-and I am not used to it!
Still trying to compensate when going round close quarters or trying to get into a chair with arms. I call this my "Ghost Fat".
Feeling VERY uncomfortable when I take my clothes off. I admit-I was never a very good naked chick! But I had certain clothes and things where I felt I was at least showcasing my "assets".
Now-I feel so soft and squishy. My big body was a whole "nuther" soft and squishy type of body and had a different feel to it. Yes-I probably am a really great candidate for reconstructive surgery-but..for today..what to do??
Any ideas for TRYING to ease into this new skin? Poor hubby-he just cannot talk me into ..er..um..out of my jammies! LOL! I find ways to keep something on! I probably sound like an utter freak-pants..but I NEED to be honest and if anyone will possibly understand me-it will be you.
PLEASE-if you dare..might you share a bit about how you feel..what you have done to get used to the new body you have??
I always say fake it till you make it- I don't have a body like Britney Spears or Angelina Jolie or anything like that- BUT I just pretend I do It's actually a great confidence boost
Seriously you should see me at home- parading around in shorts and a sports bra and running that way- makes me feel sexy
You have a lot written there. Are you asking "How can I get more comfortable being naked around my spouse?"
Shower together? Because that's the only time I'm naked around my spouse 100% of the time. I like it when he scrubs my back and its become our daily kid-free talking time.
In the bedroom, it's totally naked less than 100%. In the winter, I am SO keeping my socks and a t-shirt on. And many blankets. Too cold!
And if there's been a patch of esp athletic sex, I want a bra, a tank with a built in bra, maybe even a sports bra! Nothing like getting whacked in the face with your own boob! (I'm very busty.)
Just try to relax about it and go where you feel most comfortable in having as much or as little on as you want/need. There's no rule we all have to be the same.
Oddly, I'm great with naked even 50 lbs ago when I got intimate again for the first time in 18 years (yes, that's not a typo). However I'm really self conscious of the in between stage. My breasts are very large (34GG) and at 50 years old once the bra is off the nipples are down to my waist. I wish I was exagerating. Sexy nighties don't have enough support to hold the girls in so they end up below the bodice. Yuck. I have one black tank that fits loose enough that you can't tell what's going on underneath it that's my getting ready for bed outfit. But I even get that off as fast as I can once I'm horizontal.
I'm very self conscious when naked. I'm sure I drive my fiance nuts because he knew me when I was thin, he's watched me gain weight for 9 years, he loves me anyway and wants to marry me. He's supportive of my weight loss efforts also. But getting naked in front of him? Nuh uh. With the lights off, maybe. Not with the lights on. I think the thing is- I look in the mirror and I hate my body. So I guess subconsciously I don't see how he couldn't.
tyra always says everyone looks amazing in candle light.
sometimes im a fan of keeping a nice tight fitting tank top on when im with my boyfriend. ive always been insecure about my body, esp if im on top, i feel embarassed if my belly rests on him or moves around.
and as for my legs, theyre still large and will always be large just because thats my build, (thanks mom) but there down at the bottom and his eyes will go directly to what he likes.
when he looks at me (or any man looks at a woman) he isnt looking at my muffin top, or my bat-winged arms, if hes feeling in the mood he will be looking at my butt or my boobs.
and feeling sexy is about exuding confidence, fake it til you make it is good advice :]
just think "this man wants me, he desires me" hes not thinking bleh look at the rolls and the folds and the flab, if he was he wouldnt want you
My fiance and I usually have sex about once a week, he's not very aggressive and I'm usually the one who makes the move and I'm too tired to do it all the time. (It sometimes takes a bit of coercing as he'd rather cuddle). My man is the girl of the relationship.
Since losing weight, I feel confident in a different way and I think he picks up on that. We've been up to twice a week, and three times in the last four days! I'm not hesitating with taking my clothes off because it's like Christmas for me!
I agree with showers too, once in awhile we take a shower together and that's our alone time to talk and just be together. It's kinda cramped so he can't see all of me at once
Just know that if your getting naked, it's because he wants you to get naked. I'd feel bad if they didn't want that! No matter what you think, he obviouslly loves what you got and wants to see it.
Try singing and doing sexy dance moves in the shower, it might help you feel more comfortable in your skin (helped me, but don't slip!)
I don't look the greatest naked right now either. I had been looking forward to this rock hard, smoking body at goal...haha. Saggy, squishy, floppy, stretchy is more like it.
But the guy I'm with now has done an absolutely wonderful job of making me feel good about myself, he tells me all the time how attracted he is to me. When I'm with him, I feel hot and sexy...it's like a mental thing. I see myself how he sees me. It's really cool...it's definitely um, enhanced things in the budoir.
If he wants to see it, he likes it, so let him see it! Reverse the situation...if you wanted to see him naked and he refused consistently...wouldn't you get at least a teeny bit frustrated and wonder why he wouldn't just take your word for it that you found him attractive?
And after you let it all hang out the first time, it's a breeze.
Last edited by ThicknPretty; 08-04-2010 at 12:39 PM.
Yes-that was definitely one of my MANY embedded questions! LOL!
OK-I NEED to just "go for it" and do the shower with hubster thing. More than a couple of folks have suggested that this is a good way to ease into things.
I seriously appreciate all you ladies jumping in with your experience. You know how it is-it's SO much better from folks who have been there-done that! LOL
Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by astrophe
You have a lot written there. Are you asking "How can I get more comfortable being naked around my spouse?"
Shower together? Because that's the only time I'm naked around my spouse 100% of the time. I like it when he scrubs my back and its become our daily kid-free talking time.
In the bedroom, it's totally naked less than 100%. In the winter, I am SO keeping my socks and a t-shirt on. And many blankets. Too cold!
And if there's been a patch of esp athletic sex, I want a bra, a tank with a built in bra, maybe even a sports bra! Nothing like getting whacked in the face with your own boob! (I'm very busty.)
Just try to relax about it and go where you feel most comfortable in having as much or as little on as you want/need. There's no rule we all have to be the same.
That's the thing-we will always have "Something" going on which may not be our favourite. But YOU have really found your comfort zone-even with the bits you are not all the way thrilled with.
I think I am starting to see that it's all about TRYING. Just making a start. I think I have just been sitting and waiting so long-I have freaked myself out too much! LOL
Thanks !!
Quote:
Originally Posted by caryesings
Oddly, I'm great with naked even 50 lbs ago when I got intimate again for the first time in 18 years (yes, that's not a typo). However I'm really self conscious of the in between stage. My breasts are very large (34GG) and at 50 years old once the bra is off the nipples are down to my waist. I wish I was exagerating. Sexy nighties don't have enough support to hold the girls in so they end up below the bodice. Yuck. I have one black tank that fits loose enough that you can't tell what's going on underneath it that's my getting ready for bed outfit. But I even get that off as fast as I can once I'm horizontal.
Well-I am NOT alone for sure! It is very hard for me to 'believe' what hubby says. But I also feel it's REALLY important for me to take the plunge and go for it-and just allow myself to BE-and have it all be OK!
It may take some work-but we can always try-even in some small ways. Keep me posted! LOL!!
Peace,
T
Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee
I'm very self conscious when naked. I'm sure I drive my fiance nuts because he knew me when I was thin, he's watched me gain weight for 9 years, he loves me anyway and wants to marry me. He's supportive of my weight loss efforts also. But getting naked in front of him? Nuh uh. With the lights off, maybe. Not with the lights on. I think the thing is- I look in the mirror and I hate my body. So I guess subconsciously I don't see how he couldn't.
Thanks SO much for this excellent post! You made me LOL!
You know-you are TOTALLY right! When the menfolk are looking at us-the radar is on and are looking at what they LIKE!
I need to keep reminding myself this. You all are giving me some HOPE..and I really needed it! Oh and a few giggles too!!
Thanks,
Peace,
T
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystalynnn
tyra always says everyone looks amazing in candle light.
sometimes im a fan of keeping a nice tight fitting tank top on when im with my boyfriend. ive always been insecure about my body, esp if im on top, i feel embarassed if my belly rests on him or moves around.
and as for my legs, theyre still large and will always be large just because thats my build, (thanks mom) but there down at the bottom and his eyes will go directly to what he likes.
when he looks at me (or any man looks at a woman) he isnt looking at my muffin top, or my bat-winged arms, if hes feeling in the mood he will be looking at my butt or my boobs.
and feeling sexy is about exuding confidence, fake it til you make it is good advice :]
just think "this man wants me, he desires me" hes not thinking bleh look at the rolls and the folds and the flab, if he was he wouldnt want you
Taking your clothes off! How do you feel about it?
But I had certain clothes and things where I felt I was at least showcasing my "assets". 
It's actually a great confidence boost 
