My husband just told me I'm crazy and obsessive about calorie counting. I weight everything and log everything. If it passes my lips I track it.
This is what caused the comment, I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my 7 year old. At the end , I did an old habit without thinking. I licked the knife to clean it off. I then said a word not polite for small children. I then immediately grabbed the jar and started trying to figure out how much I ate and how many calories it was (1 tsp and 32 calories). I then griped I could have had a whole cup of this that or the other.
My Husband said "Good lord you are being a freak and obsessive! They put people in looney bins for this kind of behavior!" It really hurt my feelings. My question though.. is he right? Have I taken my calorie counting too far? He didn't complain when he realized he's gone from a 42 to a 38 waist pant just because of my changes at home. He was certainly happy when I went from an 18 to a 12. Why is he calling me crazy now?
I'm gonna go do some exercise now and try to resist the urge to finish off the jar of peanut butter.
Well...there's a fine line between monitoring/recording what's going in your mouth, and having a strong emotional reaction to a bite of food. I think the hard part for many of us is that we do react emotionally to our weight loss efforts, and food in general, so for someone outside of us, it can look pretty weird when we go into "calculation" mode.
I guess my question to you would be, how much emotional involvement did you have in this? Did you beat yourself up and feel bad because you slipped into an old habit and ate 32 calories that you didn't plan? Did you freak out in front of your kid over a bite of peanut butter? Or did you realize you slipped into an old pattern and catch yourself, without making it an emotional situation for yourself?
There's a fuzzy line between strict dieting/calorie counting, and disordered thinking about food. Yes, we need to learn new habits and be aware of what we're doing in order to lose weight and maintain weight loss. But we also (in my opinion) need to be flexible enough that we can recover from an extra bite of peanut butter by realizing we can eat a bite or two less later in the day and still be fine. Know what I mean?
I agree with Serendipity. I don't discuss calorie counting with my family, it's just a tool I use for myself to guide my diet. My husband;s eyes start to glaze over if I start talking calories. Learned that most people just aren't interested.
I didn't freak out in front of my ,I did say "Well S#*!" and start counting. I was more annoyed with myself for mindlessly grazing. Not "Pissed off at the calories" Mindlessly grazing isn't going to help me continue losing weight.
My kids do know I'm on a diet. They also know they have had Healthier food habits than me. I was a big ole hypocrite before my weight loss. I had junk food and they had fruit. All three of them are healthy and active. They thinks it's funny to see mom do things like ride a bike and play tag with them because I never could before.
I think my Husband may just be pissed because there aren't 5 different kinds of snack cakes, ice cream, chips and salsa, and a myriad of other junk foods in the house anymore. Lord knows he won't actually go to the store and buy his own.
All I know is when I'm not super careful and track every bite I don't lose. I've been down that road for the last 3-4 months. I "relaxed" into the diet and didn't "obsess" and I stopped losing. I have too far to go to be a healthy weight to maintain now.
I track all my food, but truthfully, your reaction did seem a bit extreme to me. I don't know how you track - I use Fitday and I would just have made a mental note to add a spoonful of PB the next time I was at the computer.
The more important thing is to not use one unplanned bite as an excuse to keep eating. 32 calories of peanut butter isn't going to stop your weight - just don't let it turn into "mindless grazing." There is a happy medium.
I've noticed that while men think they're "less emotional" than women, they often respond with emotion when they see an emotional reaction (especially from someone they care about).
Your emotional reaction probably triggered an emotional reaction in him. His reaction and your reaction are neither better, worse, more or less rational.
To be blunt, your crazy triggered his crazy.
They were both little crazies, and neither of you are loonie bin candidates. Both responses make about as much "sense," with is to say not much. Either reaction if repeated frequently or if taken to extremes will affect the kids negatively. It's something to think about, but not something to obsess about.
If you are crazy, then I bet a bunch of calorie counters aee right there with ya! It's hard to explain to folks who haven't been here that 32 peanut butter calories is nothing, but multiply that by 10 and it's a huge chunk of chicken. Or a serving of beef and a salad. And if we were able to easily just have 32 calories of peanut butter and not 320, then we wouldn't be fat chicks, would we? I think your reaction wasn't the fear of the one bit of peanut butter, but the fear that it would lead to the whole jar...a slippery slope. Maybe you can show him this thread??
I don't think you are obsessive, You were surprised that you slipped into old behaviour. I don't even keep peanut butter in the house because one lick of the knife and I would have gotten a spoon asd started eating out of the jar, it is a food I can't trust myself with. I still count calories and track everything. It is a habit and if I don't do it I gain.
I've noticed that while men think they're "less emotional" than women, they often respond with emotion when they see an emotional reaction (especially from someone they care about).
Your emotional reaction probably triggered an emotional reaction in him. His reaction and your reaction are neither better, worse, more or less rational.
To be blunt, your crazy triggered his crazy.
They were both little crazies, and neither of you are loonie bin candidates. Both responses make about as much "sense," with is to say not much. Either reaction if repeated frequently or if taken to extremes will affect the kids negatively. It's something to think about, but not something to obsess about.
I'm in the same boat as you. Ugh... guys. DH says the same kinda things to me, but the second I lose a few pounds and look better naked - he's right there congratulating me for my independence. I'm kinda the same way about calories.. I love to know the EXACT AMOUNT of calories that I eat (even though I know that nutrition labels aren't 100% accurate and there's no way to be 100.000000000000000% sure). I guess it's due to my love of numbers and science (that's what drew me to calorie-counting in the first place) which my husband doesn't understand that makes it so crazy. I will be sitting there, surfing the web with my cell, trying to figure out the calories in 1 tbsp of ketchup, while my man rolls his eyes and tells me "it can't be that many, it's just ketchup... just eat!"
I guess I may be crazy, but understand that alot of us go through the same things everyday. Some are more relaxed in calorie-counting and some (like me) are calorie-****s. I have to be really crazy about my calorie-counting or I'll start nibbling (a bit here, a bit there). I know for a fact sauces can cost me 500+ calories in a day, just tasting! That's why I'm so strict with myself. I know I can learn how much is too much mayo/ketchup/whatever in my life, I just need a good grasp of it now to understand!
I don't think you're crazy unless you got inappropriately upset -- tears, berating yourself, thinking about that teaspoon all day, immediately doing jumping jacks to work it off. I think your reaction sounds kind of like a "Darn it! Wasn't thinking and look what I did!"
I have three kids, all on different schedules (one in full-day elementary school, one in half-day preschool, one little one at home) and they eat at all different times, depending on when they get up, when they have naps, when they get home, etc (we all eat dinner together every night). If I ate 32 calories each time I prepped a meal or a snack for someone, that could easily add up to hundreds of calories a day. In fact, this is exactly what I was doing before I started calorie counting!
And my husband thought I was doing too much. Was a whole teaspoon of peanut butter left on the knife...seems like a lot of left over peanut butter to me. I think I probably use less than most people. The knife is near clean when I make a sandwich. So when I read your post I could only see what would be left on a knife when I'm done. But I don't think you are obsessing or crazy. That very habit can get someone totally off track and they will find themselves back where they started. But if it's not a habit no big deal.
My coworkers talk about me obsessing about cc. I asked for some crackers from one of them, looked at the calorie count and counted out the crackers to be where I wanted to be in calories and not go over on my day. She looked at me and said you know you can have more than that. I said this is all I want because I know what my calories are and where they need to be when I lay down tonight. She rolled her eyes and said "Oh Lord"!! I just walked off. It's paying off!!!
Am I crazy and obsessive?
