PCOS/Insulin Resistance SupportSupport for us with any of the following: Insulin Resistance, Syndrome X, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or other endocrine disorders.
I read an article this weekend about fat discrimination (in Grace Magazine) that said that a lot of women experiencing infertility are ushered quickly out of the doctor's office with a lecture to lose weight and nothing more. It listed a brief mention of PCOS and said that many women who are overweight are treated as if they don't have a right to bear children because they are fat. How sad.
How many of you have feel been discriminated against because of your size by a doctor?
No doctor has even suggested that I lose weight (until recently). But I did have an uncomfortable experience with my new GYN (the one who dx'ed me with PCOS) that I will share. The exchange went like this.
Me: I haven't a period in a year
Doc: Have you noticed any weight gain?
Me: Well, I have gained an average of about 10 pounds a year for the past ten years. But I am dieting and excersising now and losing weight. This is the first time I have ever tried to diet and I am really proud of myself because I have lost 11 pounds and…
Doc: [Interrupts me and says with utter horror] What?! You've never dieted before! Why?
Me: [quietly and wondering why she is being so rude] Because I am happy with me just the way I am. I only started to do this because I wanted to see if I am naturally fat or if it is possible for me to lose weight. My whole family on my fathers side (wom I take after) is morbidly obese and…
Doc: You need to excersise.
Me: I do…
Doc: What do you do?
Me: I weight train and treadmill 3-4 times a week and I swim and dance 2 or more times biweekly for the past 6 months. Plus I eat a low-fat vegetarian diet for the past 7 years.
Doc: Hm. Well, my nurse wrote down that you don't excersise.
Me: Really? 'Cause she didn't even ask me that question.
So, not only was the doctor rude to me but her nurse totally discriminated! She took one look at me and said, this fat chick doesn't excersise so why even bother asking?
I left her office feeling really crappy and maybe that is why I have been fighting her diagnosis so much (especially when the test results all came back normal).
What about the rest of you? Ever been discriminated against because of your size by a helathcare professional?
Yes! It was so disgusting I still cringe when I think about it. I was a teenager, going to the free clinic for my gyn. This woman was so rude, and she says to me, "You are so fat that I have to use a special speculum. Do you enjoy being fat? Why aren't you trying to lose weight?" First of all, couldn't she have said overweight? Second, she never asked if I was trying to lose weight, she just assumed I was eating chocolate covered lard and nothing else. She also never asked what my weight history was, when she would have found out I'd lost 40 pounds in the last year. UGH! Then, she was rough with the exam, in a hurry, as if my fatness was contagious and she couldn't wait to get away from me and take a hot shower. I was so ashamed I laid there and cried until she left the room, and didn't even ask her any questions afterwards, like I usually would. She was so insensitive she didn't even care that I was crying the whole time she was checking me out. I could still slap her this day if I ever see her.
I went to a new gyna in a new town where I was living. He came upon a referral from a friend (a thin petite) who raved about him. So I went in. As soon as he came in he said Im eating way too much mac and cheese. He didnt even ASK me about my diet. I am not a big eater and hardly eat at all. I was very picky at that time. I was already diagnosed PCOS and was ttc at the time. He was an infertility gyna.
Well, it was time for the exam. I saw the gloves go on but when I layed back, I heard what sounded like them comming off. I didnt notice at this time if he was gloveless or not. Anyway, he did the internal. As soon as he pulled his hand out, I sat right up. HE HAD NO GLOVES ON yet the once-empty trash can that had the glove in it was all the way by the door. He would have needed to roll away from me to even throw it in the trash. I KNOW he was gloveless. I also noticed I had no latex smell that I normally have after an exam. (I used to have to come home and wash there immediately because it was so strong and made me sick to my tummy). I was 19 yrs old. He quickly washed his hands and left the room. I didnt stay like I was asked to do. I left without paying and refused to pay.
Yikes! Aww, I feel so bad for all of you! My experience was minor next to yours. I had a doctor that told me when I weighed about 180 or so that he wasn't going to give me any more birth control pills unless I lost more weight. I felt really weird, too, because his nurse that chaperoned was his wife. Creepy! BTW, she was about my size.
What a shame. Wy do we put up with it? I think it is because, as women, we are taught to behave and not rock the boat. I thnk we need to start rocking it and the next time I go to my doctor's office, I am going to tell her just what I think.
B
My gp told me I needed to lose weight and I looked him right in the eye and I said that you ned to get some manners! Next thing I knew he was backtracking and apologizing and it didn't mean to come out that way, yadda, yadda, yadda...I still see him because he's a great doctor and now that I have fistful of new diagnosii, he has been remarkably supportive and caring. I think he learned a lesson that day not to judge a book by it's cover.
You know, I didn't like that Grace article. Well, I don't like Grace, but that's another matter. The article left the impression that PCOS is caused by weight gain, which is not the case. (It said something along the lines of "weight is only a factor in some infertility problems, such as PCOS.")
But yeah, I've experienced discrimination. I have scoliosis. This was diagnosed at age 11. It is only a minor curvature, but enough to cause me pain. Well, when I went to a doctor at about age 16, he did X-Rays and then told me I didn't have scoliosis, my back just hurt because I was fat! And I was sitting there looking at the X-Ray films, looking at the curve of my spine! I never went back to that idiot.
The Navy sent me out on town to an OB for PCOS treatment. At the end of the exam, the doctor said, "We don't know what causes PCOS, but it's probably because you're overweight." That statement was so asinine and behind the times that I just sat there and stared at him with my mouth open. I left his office in tears because I thought I never would have a baby.
I have had zero luck in getting treated for PCOS. The Navy has only ever offered me birth control pills. Well, I didn't have these problems until after I used hormonal birth control! There's no way in **** I'm going back on what I truly believe screwed up my system in the first place.
Oh well, it has paid off, in a way. I had one doctor ask me how I got pregnant. (OT, but I didn't see her anymore after that because she told me if I'd seen her before she would have "made" me have the maternal triple serum screen test, & I made a decision early on to refuse all routine prenatal testing.)
*OT* I don't like Grace magazine either. I subscribed to it because I really liked the first issue but when I received my first issue in the mail, it was full of FUR (including Mongolian fur--which is DOG) and totally grossed me out. I cancelled my subscription right away and posted a note on their message board about why. Of course that stirred up all sorts of controversy but, oh well.
My Mom had scoliosis and had to wear a brace through high school. She was paranoid about me and my sisters getting it and checked up like every day for curves. But I don't have any deformities.
Wow...is the only word I can think of when I read these stories. What ashame that we have to deal with doctors like the ones you all listed.
When I was first diagnosed with PCOS, I was having normal blood work done at a clinic. The doctor who was "standing in" for the normal female one I saw, called me in that day. I was sick with the flu, but he said that it was very important I come in at once. I sat in his office waiting for him to enter. His first words were:
Him: Do you want to have children?
Me: Yes, I am getting married in 3 months and we will start trying soon after that.
Him: It will never happen if you don't lose weight. You MUST lost weight if you ever want to have children.
Me: Huh? (I weighed about 230 at that point}
Him: You have PCOS, and you must lose weight now if you want to be a Mother. You have too many male hormones because of the excess weight.
Me: HUh?
Him: You will never get pregnant in the state that you are in.
Me: huh?
I was 23 yrs old. Crying my eyes out. No information. No follow ups. No pamphlets. No plan of action. No explanation. He was cold and nasty and very blunt.
He ended the appointment with a smile as I was crying. I couldn't even speak. Ran out the door, drove home alone, crying all the way.
When I came to my senses, I did my homework on the net. Thank God for the internet.
I don't know if any of you experience very uncomfortable periods...I most certainly do...and I have come to expect and accept them. However, a few years ago, I had gall stones (although I didn't know that this was the problem at the time). I ended up in emergency and was sent away once the attack subsided and advised to go for an ultrasound to see what the problem was. In the meantime, I had a previously scheduled endocronologist appt. When I told the doctor (a female) that I had ended up at the emergency room with an undiagnosed abdominal pain the previous week, she actual had the gall to say to me "menstruation is uncomfortable for all women....have you tried advil?"! How patronizing. I knew right away that she was not the doctor for me, if she was going to downplay any syptoms that I listed for her. Not only that...but her receptionist did your pre-appointment weigh-in in the middle of the waiting room in front of everybody! Yikes!
It is reasuring to see that everybody on this forum acts as their own advocate and doesn't return for 2nd rate, abusive service from health care professionals! Fortunately, there are some really good, well informed doctors out there. My family doctor has been very informative with regards to PCOS and weight loss information.
BOY DO I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL MEAN. ABOUT 7 YRS AGO I COULD NOT AFORD TO GO MY REG GYNO SO I WENT TO THE LOCAL HEALTH DEPT. I TOLD THEM I HAD PCOS AT THAT TIME. AS USAUL THEY SENT ME FOR A PG TEST WHICH THEY SAID WAS POSITIVE. I SET THERE AND CRIED TEARS OF JOY. UNTILL THAT POINT I DID NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED ANOTHER CHILD (I HAD TWO WHEN I WAS IN MY EARLY 20'S). FROM THAT POINT ON THEY SAID THAT I WOULD HAVE TO APPLY FOR MED ASSISTANCE AND I WOULD GO OUT TO MY REG DR WHEN I WAS 6 MONTHS. SO I ASKED WHEN I WAS DUE AND THEY SAID SINCE I DID NOT HAVE MY PERIODS I WOULD HAVE TO HAVE A SONO. THEY DID A PAP AND PELVIC AND ALL OF THE NORMAL STUFF. I WENT BACK THE NEXT MONTH AND THEY HAD SET ME UP AN APPT FOR THE FOLLOWING MONTH FOR THE SONO. MY WHOL FAMILY WAS HAPPY. AFTER GOING TO THE HEALTH DEPT FOR 3 MONTHS FINALY THE DAY CAME I WOULD FIND OUT WHEN MY BABY WAS DUE. I COULD NOT BELIEVE I HAD TO WAIT THAT LONG. THE DAY CAME FOR MY SONO AND I WAS SO HAPPY AS I LAYED ON THE TABLE AND THE TECH WAS DOING THE TEST SHE LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS WHO TOLD YOU, YOU WERE PREG. I ASKED HER WHAT SHE MENT AND SHE SAID THAT I WAS NOT PREG. I HAVE NEVER CRIED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. I WENT BACK TO THE HEALTH DEPT AND DEMANDED TO SEE MY DIAGNOSIS IN WRITING. THEY REFUSED TO LET ME SEE MY OWN CHART. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO MAD IN MY LIFE. FINALLY WHEN I TOLD THEM I WOULD NOT LEAVE UNTIL I WAS SHOWN MY CHART THEY USHERD ME IN THIS LITTLE ROOM WHERE A NURSE PRACTIC CAME IN AS SHE WENT OVER MY CHART SHE SAID I AM SORRY BUT YOU KNOW WITH YOUR SIZE IT WAS A HARD DIAGNOSIS. THE OTHER NURSE HAD PUT IN MY CHART "POSITIVE PREG TEST BUT IS TO FAT TO CONFIRM WITH A PELVIC"" I SAW IT MY SELF I WAS HORRIFIED. I LEFT THERE AND WENT TO MY REG GYNO WHE DELIVERD MY SON AND DIAGNOS ME WITH PCOS. I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPEN AND HE HUGED MY NECK AND TOLD ME HE DID NOT CARE HOW MUCH MONEY I HAD THAT HE WOULD ALWAYS TREAT ME AND TO NEVER GO BACK THERE AGAIN. HE ALSO SAID HE WOULD HANDLE THE HEALTH DEPT FOR ME. HE DID A PHYSICAL AND CONFIRMED IT FOR ME. A FEW MONTHS LATTER I HAD TO HAVE A MASS OF SCARE TISSUE REMOVED AND HE DID NOT EVEN CHARGE FOR HIS SERVICES I ONLY HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THE PLACE I HAD MY SURGERY. HE IS NOW HELPING ME AND MY HUSBAND TRY TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD AND I PRAY IT WORKS. THANK GOD FOR MY DR I WISH THERE COULD BE MORE LIKE HIM.
Reading everyone's posting made me feel so sad for those of us struggling with our weight with the added *bonus* of pcos and so mad at the medical profession's lack of sensitivity in dealing with overweight women.
Even as a child, I was overweight (although, looking at some old photo recently, not as much as I was made to feel!). When I was 7 or 8, at a visit to the pediatrician's, as he helped me down from the table he told me I was heavy and needed to lose weight. When I think about it now, it's crazy that he would say that to me. At an age when my weight should not have been made an issue to me...He *helped* instill in me so much negativity about weight, and therefore self-image. When I think about it now...what a rotten thing to do to a kid!
Even now I hate getting weighed. I have many times avoided going to the dr's office when I'm sick because I know I'm going to be asked to get on the scale....
Hi Everyone!
I am new to this website and just have to say that I am apalled by the content of this thread! All of those insensitive caregivers should lose their license's just for being a**holes, not to mention the misinformation!!!
I am a midwife and take care of all shapes and sizes of women!
Overweight women do GREAT in pregnancy and childbirth. It is true that overweight women can have a more difficult time getting pregnant, I am experiencing this myself right now, but it is NOT impossible!
I would suggest that you all look for a midwife for your ob/gyn care in the future. I believe that we are truly more caring and tolerant of all people and situations.
Except for this board, I am really enjoying this website and I am sure I will be seeing you all often!
Megan
Fat Discrimination at your Doctor's Office?
(OT, but I didn't see her anymore after that because she told me if I'd seen her before she would have "made" me have the maternal triple serum screen test, & I made a decision early on to refuse all routine prenatal testing.)
A Disturbing, but Great Thread
