So I've been kind of down in the dumps lately and it really sucks hardcore. Despite the fact that I KNOW I am smaller than I was in August (when I was at my HW) I feel just as big if not bigger than I did then. All I notice are the parts of me that still jiggle, my arm flab, my big ole thighs, and the list goes on. There are moments when I'm like 'Oh! My calves are so muscular' or I notice that my collar bone is there when it never was before, but for the most part I am just really feeling bad about myself. I'm worried that if this keeps up I'll lose my steam and relapse into my old binge-y ways. You know, if I don't feel like like losing weight or if I can't see that I'm any skinnier, then why bother trying? Honestly, I look at pictures of myself on facebook and I feel like I still look just as fat .
So the question is, do any of you feel the same way? Or did you feel that way? How did you deal with it? Any tips to break the cycle???
And I know that exercise is supposed to make you feel better about your body but of late I am the MOST critical of myself in my post-gym shower.
I understand how you feel. I guess when losing weight, we are constantly focusing on how "when we get to goal...." almost in a way thinking negatively about our current bodies, rather than focusing on how far we've come and what good our bodies can do for us. I know I'm this way. Sometimes I feel bigger and then, like today, i buy size 8 shorts and remember when I used to wear a 16. That's when I'm like, okay this is real. I guess if we focus on positivity and think about what we can do rather than what we will do eventually, it may help. Sorry if that makes no sense.
I feel like this way constantly. Personally, when I was gaining weight/ living at my highest weight, I avoided looking at my body and analyzing all of those problem areas. Now that I am down 60 pounds, I am far more conscious of the size of my belly, or how big my thighs are. Going through this process makes us analyze ourselves constantly. . . I agree with you that looking at pictures of myself doesn't help when I am feeling that way either. It just gives me something else to be critical about.
One thing that helps me when I feel like this is to pull out an old pair of pants and put them on. Seeing all of that extra room in there gives me something tangible to show how much progress I have made. I can't be as critical about what I have left to do, and can actually see how far I have come.
It's like a roller coaster. Keep up the good work and be proud of yourself!
I like the pants idea. I have this same problem, where sometimes, I just feel like my body is the same, I still have this huge belly, and now everything is floppy and wrinkly on top of that!!
But clothes don't lie - I tried on a few of my old clothes on yesterday as I worked through them for keepers/donaters and some of the pants that used to be too small for me were ridiculously big on me. So there's no arguing with that.
I agree with lizzybeth, it might help you to stop analyzing for a second and take a look back at where you started. Sometimes I think we get so obsessed with every little detail from the week or the last 5 lbs, that its easy to forget how you really felt at the beginning. You've lost over half of your goal, which is a MAJOR accomplishment! Take a second to be proud of yourself
I can totally relate to you. I overcome this by looking at the pants I had before that I couldn't fit into, and now they need belts to keep them up. For a while I actually just started to do intuitive eating/exercising and limited my weighing to once a week. It became more of a lifestyle than a diet so I tried to calm down and not rush things.
I hope you feel better and KNOW that you have come a LONG way and done amazingly!
i feel the same way as well. I still look the same to me, but i know i must be wrong because my clothes fit differently. I was 155 in High school and often feel the same size. Honestly i think part of it is from looking DOWN. I don't have a full length mirror, only a shoulders up mirror....the only way i can see myself is by jumping up and down in the mirror (no one looks good with jiggle flying around you!!!) or by looking down. Downward views are never very flattering. Maybe that is why the post gym shower is where you get critical???
Absolutely. I knew I was heavy before, but it was easy to push it aside. Now, I'm constantly aware of my weight, and how my clothes are fitting. It makes me feel even fatter than before.
I feel like the only way to counter-balance it to actively make it a point to notice the positive things: muscle tone, a smaller pants size, whatever it may be...and just to tell yourself how impressive that one small feat is. Over and over again
Yep, I feel that way too. In fact, yesterday at the gym I was lifting weights & looking in the mirror, and I felt like I looked HUGE.
Putting on clothes that fit me when I was bigger helps, though. It gives me more of a visual. It doesn't take ALL of the negative thoughts completely away, but it helps
I'm sorry to hear that effie, but don't worry - we all go through this! In fact I just went through this last week - I found out I'm 10lbs heavier than I thought I was. It can get really depressing, but the important thing is to stay positive and remember how far you've come. And always remind yourself that though you may still FEEL as though you're the old you - you're not! You've lost 40lbs, that's amazing!
One way I've thought about my little "setback" is that I've been able to maintain this weight since January! So I've already had a little bit of practice to make goal maintenance that much easier for myself! Another way to break any cycling is to change up your workout routine or set a little short-term goal for yourself. For example, I've been doing a 24 day challenge.
Another great idea is to do what Lizzy and Chickapea do, go through some of your old clothes. I've been hanging on to one pair of jeans from my own HW to use in a goal picture when I get there. Every now and again I take them out and compare them to the jeans I wear now, as well as how they look on me.
But don't feel like you're alone, we are here for you and we've all been through this! It's a mentality thing. Be confident in yourself - you're doing great!
Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the support, you are all really too nice. Even though I'm still feeling kind of bummed I've been trying to focus on all the positive changes I've made. I don't have too many of my old things with me at school as I've brought/shipped most of them home but I have a couple that I tried on earlier and it is amazing to see the difference in how they fit.
You are all fabulous! Thanks again for the advice and help, I really don't know what I'd do without it!
I totally know how you feel. I only have a minute to post, so I didn't read the other responses, but I thought I'd give my spheel...sorry if I am repeating.
When I first started, and after I lost the first 10lbs, I could not stop staring at myself in the mirror. It was the first time I had ever gotten serious about weight loss and I was fascinated that my efforts had yielded results. I thought I looked so much smaller and that my stomach was so much flatter, etc. But eventually, weight loss got kind of monotonous, and while I was still progressing at a great pace, my brain was thinking "Ok, I've lost 15, 20, 25 etc pounds now, why do I still have this belly?" It was just frustrating. I stopped seeing myself as smaller and more slender, and I thought I looked exactly like I did at 183. Like you said, all the same parts still jiggled.
I have started weight training, and that has improved my overall shape. It's a work in progress, but the parts that were still jiggling are jiggling less. And I'm starting to look like an athletic fit person, not just a smaller blobby person. I have less than 10lbs to go (I can't imagine getting smaller than 135), and I'm realizing that I will not have a perfect flat stomach body. I had never been smaller than 165lbs as an adult, and I figured that if I just lost the weight, my body would magically transform into a Victoria Secret model. But, I'm definitely learning to accept and strive to be the best version of myself, and be very satisfied with that.
Eventually, you'll catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and notice how far you've come. You'll think "I've never seen that thin girl before." People kept telling me this would happen, but I looked in the mirror all the time and just saw a blob looking back. I finally had that moment the other day while sitting in the backseat of my friend's car. I saw myself in her rearview mirror and was amazed at how trim my shoulders are and how pronounced my collar bone is. I've never noticed my face and features look so defined. I was almost startled to see how thin I am (not unhealthy thin, just relative to what I was).
Eventually, your eyes will catch up with your size, but it's definitely a process.
Megan - I was totally the same way, when I first started I was moving along like a champ, 8-10lbs a month, and now since January I've totally hit a wall and have slowed to a snails pace. I got obsessed over seeing the changes, too. If my waist looked smaller one day, I'd measure it. This gets kinda discouraging when you don't see any changes. But you know what's cool? When you first realize that you have a BICEP And we may not all look like supermodels when we reach goal, but you know what? Women have curves lol.
Effie - Another good point to remember is that we can't pick where we lose, and those jiggly bits are most likely going to be the last to go. I have a feeling my pudgy stomach (fondly nicknamed "the pudge") is stubbornly going to go last. But take Megan's advice and start adding some strength training workouts to your routine up to 3 days a week. If you aren't sure where to start, there's a weight training forum on 3FC.
ETA: Megan - I totally just had one of those glimpse moments! I was getting dressed in my workout clothes for my workout and I caught a glimpse of my legs in the mirror (the biggest part of my body next to my stomach, I've always found my thighs to be HUGE and my calves to be super chunky, never slender) and my legs looked SKINNY and awesome!
Last edited by platformnine; 04-16-2010 at 11:51 AM.
I feel bigger at 127 than I did at 135, even though by all objective measures I'm smaller. When I was 135, it was coming off a big sudden loss; I shrank 10 pounds with practically no effort and my body seemed so much different. But the slow, slow crawl down to my current weight has given me time to notice flaws in the mirror. Before, I was awed by my small waist, but now my big thighs have come to the fore. Going down a clothing size probably had something to do with it...I had lots of room in my 8s but suddenly fill out my clothes in the 6s.
Also, I think I put too much emphasis on the number while getting here. I thought, "At 125, I'll look perfect," but you know what? Perfect doesn't exist. I could now just say, "Well, maybe at 120 I'll look perfect" but that's a dangerous spiral. I should really just come to terms with the fact that this is my shape...I will never be a supermodel and I have no reason to disparage that.
Feeling Bigger
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And we may not all look like supermodels when we reach goal, but you know what? Women have curves lol.
