So I am in Paris right now, living with a host mother. Normally we get along great, but she is constantly telling me that "such and such makes you fat". Every single thing I cook, she butts into the kitchen and goes on about how it makes you fat! I am starting to get afraid to cook because she always comes in and gives commentary and "helpful" advice about my weight. She is always talking about "all the Americans" are fat, which might be true in comparison to France, but it is still pretty offensive that every single meal she talks about weight, mostly my weight, and gives me her dietary advice. EVERY meal is embarrassing and annoying because of this. I KNOW I am fat! Why does she have to bring it up all the time?
I know it is partly cultural differences, but that doesn't make it an easier to take.
you really MUST talk to her about it. Tell her if she wants to help (because she's certainly not helping at the moment!), she needs to be far more considerate.
I would probably go the extra mile and tell her that if she didn't stop it, I would just go home, and tell everyone involved in the exchange that she insisted on embarrassing and pestering you.
That might be a bit far though! You should definitely speak to her though...
That is really irritating. I would be so annoyed and embarassed if someone put me on the spot like that. I have family friends who did that to me growing up..we'd all have family dinners and they would be like "oh you should play basketball... my daughter lost SO MUCH weight doing basketball".... and other examples..
It's really apparent in the older generations who like to give unsought advice to younger women. It's so common and you don't want to be the rude one to say anything back. I normally just stay silent and suck it up. lol
Question. Does she know you're trying to lose weight? Because maybe if you told her, assuming she doesn't know, she'd lay off a little bit. Perhaps she's making comments because she's trying to get you to? I don't know. Either way, that's really inconsiderate and you should talk to her and let her know how you feel. Like you said, it may just be a cultural misunderstanding.
Well she knows that I like to eat healthy, so I think she took that as an invitation to comment on every little thing I do. I eat a little piece of chocolate and she tells me "careful or you are going to stay fat". It is a little annoying; I think I am going to tell her politely as I can that I would prefer not to discuss my weight anymore.
hmm...I was in the same boat as you are a few years back, but it was with my uncle. I just ignored him and went about my business.
but I think do whatever feels comfortable with you. Just tell her weight loss takes time, and you are trying, and tell her not ALL Americans are fat, just like not all French woman are skinny, that might let her eat her own words.
tell her that her words are making you upset and maybe she'll stop, it might be awkward, but at least her comments will stop.
or if you thinks that's too much, or you don't like confrontation, then just ignore her. she'll shut up sooner or later.
I'd mostly chalk it up to the cultural difference, but if you can, try to take advantage of her wanting to give advice and embrace it! Ask her to show you something you can make yourself that "won't make you fat." To you, it's a French cooking class! To her, it's knowing that her input is getting through to someone.
I'm very hesitant to encourage you to tell her to not talk to you about your weight--I think language barriers potentially make that a disastrous topic. Instead, tell her you're trying to lose weight so she knows that you don't want to be the "Fat American." I'm sure the helpful pointers will cease a little.
mini-rant!
