I've been thinking a lot about how I eat. I hear the mantra "food as fuel" meaning we should just think of food as some abstract thing that's a necessary evil.
But food has always been more to me. It's always been something enjoyable and fun, something that made me happy, something to look forward to.
I remember in elementary school I would sit in the last class of the day and be so happy I could go home. Not because I would get to play, or nap, or see my dogs. The biggest thing I was looking forward to was going home to eat my mom's dinner and having a big class of Coke.
It's been like that my whole life, food has always been something to look forward. Honestly, I get so depressed thinking of life without it. Life with very limited sweets, soda, extra portions...it sounds like torture.
What would I have to look forward to? A bland chicken breast and glass of water at every meal? Cutting loose and having an ounce of sugarfree ice cream? *No* healthy food is as good as the non-healthy alternative. Popcorn will never be as good as chips.
I know I sound selfish, but maybe I am. I'm an emotional eater for sure, but mostly I just enjoy it. I love to eat. I love delicious foods, cheese, sauces, greasy things, cakes, Mountain Dew, Kool-Aid...I just love eating those things. I love the taste and how they make me feel.
I don't get a lot of pleasure in life, in fact my life is very hard, so denying myself something that makes me feel so happy seems cruel. Especially when it's for a far-off goal of being at a healthy weight...something I've never known and may never reach.
It's just awful knowing nothing will ever make me feel as good as food does.
I feel like maybe I'm too far gone to ever change.
I don't get a lot of pleasure in life, in fact my life is very hard, so denying myself something that makes me feel so happy seems cruel. Especially when it's for a far-off goal of being at a healthy weight...something I've never known and may never reach.
Why don't you get a lot of pleasure in life? Why is it hard?
You're here, on this site, and obviously want "something" to be different, is that right? So, yes, food is a feel-good pleasure. I know exactly where you're coming from on that one!!! But in terms of better health, we HAVE to choose to make different choices; choices that we can live with, feel better with, and maybe even enjoy along the way?
Have you asked yourself "what's my motivation for change?" Is it that "all-good-pleasure-now" sensation, or is it something better for life overall? We DO get to choose.
Congratulations on the changes you've already made!!! I assume you feel better? Go with that!
Best to you as you continue your journey. I've been struggling with my own, but refuse to give up or give in!
I love to eat, too, I really do, so I've found foods that I love to eat and that fit my plan. I love, love, love breakfast burritos. I make a breakfast that hits those flavor points: black beans, zucchini, eggs. red chile, and cheddar. RockinRobin has a thread in the Maintainers forum about a dinner party she threw for her inlaws. I guarantee none of them felt deprived. With calorie counting, you could still have chips and cokes; they could be worked into an overall plan. I make turkey sandwiches piled with turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, mustard, etc. I eat yummy food and plenty of it. It's just planned and controlled in different ways. I know there has been a lot of controversy on 3FC about the concept of a "cheat day"....I'm at the point now that I can't have a "cheat day" and lose, but I could and did for a lot of pounds. So I would have a burger and fries (or the aforementioned beloved breakfast burrito) or go to a pizza party or a birthday party and partake "like everyone else" and still lose as long as I was thoughtful the other days. It is possible to "have your cake and eat it too", as long as one is thoughtful the other 80+% percent of the time.
I actually don't eat a lot of chicken, but when I do, it sure ain't bland!
I feel your frustration and sadness. I am also a food addict, regardless of the fact that some people don't think there is such a thing. Your feelings are common amongst people of all kinds of weight. However, it is what you do with those feelings...your actions that will lead you to one path or another.
You've already gone down the path of eating for pleasure, fun, entertainment, etc. Where has that gotten you? If food is your ONLY pleasure or your primary one, then please realize that your life is not full. It could be so much more.
If you choose the other path (as you seem to have), it will take some time to see the rewards, no doubt. EQ is more important in success than IQ. EQ is the Emotional Quotient. It means that a person can delay gratification and the situation with food is the ultimate test of that. Weight loss is a very long term project...it's a forever project. But, once you start to lose weight and see that your clothes are looser on you and that you have more energy, you will start to feel that feeling....you absolute can do it, but your own mind is your worst enemy. You must believe that you can do it and that it can be done.
Please check in at the Chicks in Control segment of this group, if you haven't already. We take it one day at a time. Every day that I don't binge is a huge success. I feel so different when I wake up the next day if I haven't binged. I do fall off that wagon...sometimes for months, but eventually, I realize how horrible I'm feeling and that it won't get me down the path that I want.
Food deprivation is very deceiving. The truth is that we are depriving ourselves of the life we want. That is the real deprivation.
Sorry if this sounded lectury...I really don't mean it to. I just know how you feel with your love of food....it takes about a month to really change a behavior, but with an addiction, I think it's forever.
well, I have some very good news for you. And I have a feeling lots of people here will chime in on this thread. Embracing healthy foods doesn't mean giving up on flavor or getting lots of enjoyment out of eating. I consider food to be ONE of the pleasures of my life. I've moved away from the chips, fast food, cake, etc. A great salad, soup, pasta, yes, even a zipped up chicken dish can be a real treat.
I made curry butternut squash soup last weekend (90 calories a bowl), had curry and apple in it), was delicious. I looked forward to eating that at lunch.
The gym is something I look forward to. It brings me pleasure. Walking and hiking do too.
Don't be afraid to embrace and expand your list of what makes you happy and brings you pleasure. Yes, other things can make you feel as good and better than food does. I guarentee you that. I'm an emotional eater too, stress and anxiety hit and I'm reaching for chocolate.
I'd suggest not looking at it as something you're denying yourself, but finding better ways to treat yourself, because you f'ing deserve it -- to have better health, better self esteem, a better life. Life IS hard, and it's worth the effort for us to better the lot we have in any way we can.
I love food, love eating. I think every diet I have ever been on has failed because I expected them to be unpleasant and restrictive and full of foods I didn't like. No wonder I couldn't stick with those kinds of diets!
This time, I really thought hard about how to lose weight and keep it off. I realized I needed a "diet" I never stopped, therefore it HAD to be foods I liked and enjoyed eating. So, no more plain chicken breasts, no more diet frankenfoods! My method was a combination of whole foods, calorie counting and volumetrics - and foods I liked!
I know it sounds kind of weird, but cutting back on sugary foods, woke my tongue up to the great taste of normal foods. Baked sweet potatoes are super sweet, I adore fresh mango and raspberries. I love everything I eat and look forward to every meal.
Now that I'm maintaining, I have at least one nice meal a week with a glass of wine and dessert. It helps me stay on plan during the week, knowing I have something to really look forward to. I also have little treats - I like biscotti with my skinny latte and a piece of dark chocolate at night.
I had a chance in my life to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. But, no matter how much I liked the taste of food, I was not a happy person. I was sluggish, depressed, miserable, hated to look at myself naked, hated to be naked with my then-boyfriend. I didn't bother with my hair, my clothes, I tried to disappear.
Now, I carefully watch what I eat and I am a much happier person. I have a cute haircut and a closet full of cute clothes. I looove pictures of myself (after so many years of hiding from cameras!). I have no problems with nudity in the boudoir. I am more cheerful, I smile more - at strangers!
And I truly do not feel deprived. I love the foods I do eat and I love that I eat foods that are good for me. There is pleasure in taking care of myself and doing the right thing for my body.
I made this really yummy stir fry for the first time last night - healthy, low calorie foods do NOT have to taste bad or be boring.
Awesome post Luckymommy. I agree that for many people food is an addiction and not really as pleasurable as they claim. I always think of the Sheryl Crow song, "If it makes you happy, then why the **** are you so sad" when someone talks about the pleasure they get from eating. I have been there, and I have finally realize that food does not make me feel better, it only pushed down the feelings I don't want to feel, and afterwards I have to deal with the extra pounds AND what I was trying to escape from. Finally I see my excessive eating for what it was, in my case a very powerful drug, that only created misery in my life.
CherryBlossom, I know how you feel. Before, I never had a "hobby" persay, except eating. My now DH and I built our relationship and habits by eating. Places like WaffleHouse at 2am, IHOP, burger joints, etc. Now I am changing my eating habits (as well as his) and I am not going to lie.... it is a little difficult, but there is a bright side...... want to know what it is? I have started moving..... and exercising and it feels great. It feels better than my famous mashed potatoes, better than fried chicken, better than a waffle, etc. I am strong now..... I can do things at 36 that I could not do at 25. My son's are proud of what I have accomplished, I can keep up with them, I can run, I can play if I chose, and I have feminine muscles. To my husband, I am HAWT..... not that I wasn't before... but he tells me much more.... and I catch him looking at me with a look that I LOVE.
I am telling you that to tell you this...... the old saying is true. NOTHING (and I have had a lot of good down home Southern Food)..... NOTHING tastes as good as being "thin" (strong) feels! I love it!
As the other posters have mentioned..... you do not have to give up good food...... just retrain your thoughts, tweak your recipes and it will work. For Pete's sake..... for breakfast I have CHOCOLATE oatmeal...... does that sound like I am being deprived to you?
I know you can do this! You have come to the right place. I wish you the very best!
I feel like maybe I'm too far gone to ever change.
Change is NOT easy. I dont' think it was ever meant to be easy. So you have a choice. Live with your current circumstances (happy or unhappy) or do something about it (though it may not be easy). YOU have the choice. It's hard. It can be VERY hard at times. BUT...what is more important? Decide what is more important to you. Your health and quality of life? Or your love for food? You have to make a definitive choice first. What is more important? Change will not come if you don't CHOOSE to change. You have control. You really do.
I also agree that healthy food does not have to be bland and boring. I wouldn't eat it if I couldn't enjoy it. If your taste buds are used to eating higher fat foods, you may notice the change in taste, BUT, your body will start to LOOOOOVE that new taste. You just have to be willing to give it an honest try. There are TONS of healthy recipes out there that are loaded with flavor. Also, If you stay on plan, MOST of the time, an occassional day of sweets won't hurt you. Like one poster said, you can still have your cake and eat it too. You will be healthier and be more confident about yourself, and at the same time, you will not have to abandon those pleasure foods for the rest of your life. It's a balance, with health and quality of life as your main priority.
Change first starts in your mind. Believe that you can change it for the better, and your actions/behaviors will follow suit. Don't under-estimate yourself. You're stronger than you think.
I know that food is soo good, but I have noticed in the past two weeks (from my start date) that I can make food just as delicious as the greasy foods I used to eat. I think that vegetables with no added butter/cheese/etc. taste sooo good! Chicken with a kick butt marinade is DELISH! I LOVE ground turkey. I can also spring for a healthy and delicious "fattening-taste" dessert without all of the calories.
I guess what I concentrate on (and I LOVE eating and LOVE food) is the feeling that I have when I eat delicious food that is low in calories...I concentrate on the feeling I get from having that delicious food and how healthy it was! It's a great feeling to be full on good food and know that I did it! I can make good food without feeling like I've completely thrown my 'diet'. Good luck! There's lots of support here! Keep coming back!!!
You know what babe? I too once thought that I couldn't change. That I WOULDN'T change. And I kept that attitude all the way UP to almost 400 pounds!!!! DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU!
Take healthy foods and make them taste good!
If you love pizza... take whole wheat pita shells, a couple tablespoons of tomato paste, tons of veggies, grilled chicken breast and top it with 1/4 cup shredded mozza and tons of seasonings... SO FREAKING GOOD!
If you love french fries... cut up a potato into wedges, sprinkle sea salt and olive oil and roast it! So yummy!!!!
If you love burgers... I buy "portion controlled" ones at the store. They are 160 calories. use a whole wheat bun. Tons of veggies and mustard. Honestly you will NOT MISS the grease burgers of old.
Chips? You lose your taste quickly for them... as you do chocolate etc. Although if you can handle it you CAN work reasonable portions into your diet.
Let's put it this way. You can stay the weight you are. You can gain weight. You can lose weight. EITHER WAY ... time will pass. Put it to good use! Make small changes and see what an effect it will have on you! I don't think that you will regret it.
I can really relate to what you're saying. I associate food with safety and happiness and comfort. And I look forward to it the same way. I remember when I got my drivers license, I wasn't as excited about the freedom or driving places with friends, it was going through drive thrus...
BUT, all that being said, I can tell you as someone who loves food so much, too, that you can find a lot of healthy foods that are really enjoyable and sort of help with the transition into a healthy lifestyle. I've found a lot of things that are really healthy that I actually have to limit myself on...I love them so much I could eat them all day!
You can do it. It's a change that takes times...and you will probably always love food just as much as you do now, but you will learn to weigh pros and cons and to look at food differently.
Just chiming in to say that I have honestly never eaten better, more delicious food than I have in the last year or so, while managing to lose 150+ pounds so far. I love food, and I've always been a very good cook. My cookbook collection is massive. I love cooking, I love food shopping, I love cooking for others, I love reading about it, talking about it, and thinking about it. I am totally obsessed with food.
I just had to channel my obsession in a good way. I knew I absolutely could not do this if I had to eat food I hated, and in insufficient quantities to keep me satisfied and not hungry. My food couldn't be bland or boring. Yes, I got so fat for lots of reasons, but you know, what it comes down to is that I just really LOVE to eat. So I took the skills I already had, and turned them to good instead of evil. I started buying random vegetables I'd never eaten before, or thought I didn't like, and found ways to prepare them that I love. I cut way back on the fat, and found I don't miss it. I ramped up the spices and chillies and garlic and herbs, learned to cook many of the great cuisines of Southeast Asia, and found the sheer, staggering amount of FLAVOUR I was injecting into my food was far more enjoyable and satisfying than the fat-filled food I'd cooked and eaten most of my life. Junk food doesn't hold the same appeal for me anymore, because I look at one calorie-dense, nutritionally-empty treat and know I could eat a huge bowl of something delicious for about the same calorie hit.
You don't need to eat boring, tasteless food you don't like, you really don't.
My biggest pleasure is eating...
I love to eat, too, I really do, so I've found foods that I love to eat and that fit my plan. I love, love, love breakfast burritos. I make a breakfast that hits those flavor points: black beans, zucchini, eggs. red chile, and cheddar. RockinRobin has a thread in the Maintainers forum about a dinner party she threw for her inlaws. I guarantee none of them felt deprived. With calorie counting, you could still have chips and cokes; they could be worked into an overall plan. I make turkey sandwiches piled with turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, mustard, etc. I eat yummy food and plenty of it. It's just planned and controlled in different ways. I know there has been a lot of controversy on 3FC about the concept of a "cheat day"....I'm at the point now that I can't have a "cheat day" and lose, but I could and did for a lot of pounds. So I would have a burger and fries (or the aforementioned beloved breakfast burrito) or go to a pizza party or a birthday party and partake "like everyone else" and still lose as long as I was thoughtful the other days. It is possible to "have your cake and eat it too", as long as one is thoughtful the other 80+% percent of the time. 
