I love him to death but he has such a warped idea of what dieting is. He thinks that a diet is barely eating, cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and something for dinner.
Today, I slept in and had a sandwich around 12, and now it's approaching 4pm so I'm a little hungry and decided to have some cheese and crackers (whole wheat Ritz... 6 crackers) and he said that I'm blowing my diet. And then went on to say that he's going to get in shape and I'm going to stay the same. Because I had some cheese and crackers.
I've already tried talking to him about why you don't lose weight if you eat too less, but apparently it didn't register with him. He just won't listen. I think he's eating too less (and he's not losing weight), but then again I'm eating on track and exercising and not losing. It's so frustrating not only because I can't make him listen, I'm really struggling with losing weight.
That does sound really frustrating! I can definitely relate, my brother calls me a "fatty" if he see's me eat anything but veggies! It's not helpful, and can be downright discouraging. But just remember that you have to eat to lose weight! And of course, eat your veggies!
Are you counting all your calories? I find if I'm not measuring, I gain, or at least stop losing. Did you just start exercising? Sometimes adding exercise can make you gain initially. I hope this plateau goes away quickly!
I have the opposite problem. My fiance completely disregards my weightloss efforts and always tempts me and offers food not on my plan. I make my healthy meals that he will not eat, so i cook a 2nd dinner for him, usually pork chops or something and then he asks me if i am going to have any too. It's been 7 months practically and he still does it almost daily. he literally just did it 10 minutes ago!
I guess we all have opinionated people in our lives to deal with, no matter how much we love them If I were you I would tell him to respect your efforts and methods and you know and will do what works for your body, and he will do what works for his. He will realize that it works for you and will not say another word hopefully, unless it's wow, congrats or woowoo! lol Just keep up the good work and don't let anyone stand in your way. we all go through a slow point too and then it picks back up. hang in there
Last edited by motivatedbride; 08-22-2009 at 07:22 PM.
oh, dear, sounds just like my husband. he thinks if he starves himself all day, then gorges himself on 3,000 calories at dinner he's dieting. they just don't get the concept that it's total calories that count, not what you eat or when. my husband even told me that calories don't apply to men. LOL.
men are just... such men. (deep sigh).
do you know that saying about how if you try to teach a pig to sing, you just frustrate yourself and annoy the pig? i think that applies a lot in intimate relationships.
I'm so sorry you're struggling. I just went through several months of that, and I know how discouraging that is. keep plugging away and you'll start losing again.
I"m sorry to hear that all I can say is tell him that you are doing it your way and he can do it his way.
My friend has told me for months he's lost 8 lbs, I've lost over 20, I could have lost more but I did slack for a time (though didn't gain any of it back). He then told me a few weeks ago I SHOULD be hungry cuz if I'm not hungry I'm not losing- I told him I've lost 3x what he has lost so I'm guessing my method works better than his.
And he's not starving himself either- he's eating out at least once a day and then he's exercising his brains out- but I told him if you eat 3000+ calories a day you'd need to work out a lot more than an hour a day to burn that off...
He wasn't amused lol
I refuse to cook my husband separate meals- I can add an extra side for him but normally I cook meals that we all can eat
I have the opposite problem. My fiance completely disregards my weightloss efforts and always tempts me and offers food not on my plan. I make my healthy meals that he will not eat, so i cook a 2nd dinner for him, usually pork chops or something and then he asks me if i am going to have any too. It's been 7 months practically and he still does it almost daily. he literally just did it 10 minutes ago!
I guess we all have opinionated people in our lives to deal with, no matter how much we love them If I were you I would tell him to respect your efforts and methods and you know and will do what works for your body, and he will do what works for his. He will realize that it works for you and will not say another word hopefully, unless it's wow, congrats or woowoo! lol Just keep up the good work and don't let anyone stand in your way. we all go through a slow point too and then it picks back up. hang in there
I'm sorry! that would be so much worse for me.
The thing is, he keep saying how I eat more than him, when really, he barely eats. Like when I had the cheese and crackers earlier, he said "well now you're going to eat more than me!" as if that matters somehow, so I replied "Only because you refuse to eat." It's really easy to eat more than someone when all they have is a bowl of cereal, a sandwich, and barely any dinner. He keeps saying how I should eat less than him but that's very difficult considering he barely eats as it is.
I've tried to tell him to respect the way I do it, but in his mind, his way is the only way. I just hope that if I keep up with the exercise, and keep eating the way I'm eating (which btw, isn't a whole lot to begin with) I'll lose and prove him wrong.
Last edited by sunflowergirl68; 08-22-2009 at 10:51 PM.
lol I have the sneaking suspicion I eat more than my fiance does, yet he is 6'3 and bigger than me. weird eh? Everyone's body metabolizes slightly differently is the only reason I can come up with!
Maybe you should ask your guy why is he goin so crazy over your weight loss. Is it such a big deal for him how fast you lose, or what you weigh? It's YOUR journey, not his!
lol I have the sneaking suspicion I eat more than my fiance does, yet he is 6'3 and bigger than me. weird eh? Everyone's body metabolizes slightly differently is the only reason I can come up with!
Maybe you should ask your guy why is he goin so crazy over your weight loss. Is it such a big deal for him how fast you lose, or what you weigh? It's YOUR journey, not his!
For some stupid reason, he doesn't believe that everyone metabolizes food differently. And I know he's being super-controlling just because he wants me to lose weight, but it's just getting to be too much. I've asked him to let me do it my way before, and he stopped nagging me, and now he's started up again. And I have a feeling it's going to get worse because we've decided to get married and we both want to be in shape for the wedding and honeymoon.
Everyone's body is different. People who's stats are totally the same can have totally different metabolisms.
Just tell your BF that you're not going to lose any weight if he keeps feeding you all that BS.
The thing is, he totally KNOWS that I have a different metabolism because of thyroid issues.
So I'm currently looking up any diets that are central to hypothyroidism, and I just told him that many websites recommend to eat 5 small meals a day, 300 calories each, and he just kind of shrugged. This time, i WILL make him listen to me and I WILL make him stop nagging me and I WILL do it MY way!
Just tell him what I told my husband (but he was asking what I needed from him to HELP me do this, not commenting on what I eat because he thought it was helping).
I told him I do NOT need him monitoring what I eat. I'm an adult, and I dont need someone commenting on what I eat. End of story. You dont need to show him sites, or justify why you're eating how you are eating.
The thing is, he totally KNOWS that I have a different metabolism because of thyroid issues.
So I'm currently looking up any diets that are central to hypothyroidism, and I just told him that many websites recommend to eat 5 small meals a day, 300 calories each, and he just kind of shrugged. This time, i WILL make him listen to me and I WILL make him stop nagging me and I WILL do it MY way!
Sunflowergirl68: You are doing great. Really. It is frustrating when our nearest and dearest does not seem to appreciate our efforts.
As wellness trailblazers (and we are - since we are staying the course!)- we may have to accept our role as wellness educators to the world. Which requires learning what we need to do to be healthy, practicing what we need to do to be healthy, and sometimes explaining it over and over and over again. Do not give up. Maintain your boundaries. And do not give up on your fiance. He will get it.
My dh has walked this path with me for 18 years. This is the 1st time I have ever made only 1 dinner for us (I am slow!) and he has accepted that! Without a fuss. Yet every night he asks what is for dessert. And every night I tell him there is fruit and maybe a jello cup in the fridge. When he goes out with the dd for ice cream, he has to ask 3, 4, 5 times do I want anything. See I trained him in the past that I would give into temptation and give up. And now it is my job to train him that "I mean business"! I don't mind that - cause I know he'll get there eventually.
Just remember that you are doing great. And have patience!
Hm. I figured it was common knowledge at this point that eating too little slows your metabolism down. It's the reason why people plateau on a diet. It's also the reason I've chosen to do the calorie shifting diet.
Just tell him that you'll diet your way, and he can diet his way. You'll both leave one another alone/not nag. When you start losing weight and he doesn't, he'll learn his lesson.
I think me telling him that doing a special "hypothyroid" diet will make him finally listen.... and I told my dad about the new diet I'm going to do (five small meals a day, 3 hours apart, 300 calories, protein and fiber-rich, minimal starches, lots of fruits and veggies) and he approved. So now the fiance has to approve! lol
Fiance is pissing me off... again!
If I were you I would tell him to respect your efforts and methods and you know and will do what works for your body, and he will do what works for his. He will realize that it works for you and will not say another word hopefully, unless it's wow, congrats or woowoo! lol Just keep up the good work and don't let anyone stand in your way. we all go through a slow point too and then it picks back up. hang in there
