Ever since I moved home from University, I've been feeling pretty aloneish. Here in my hometown, I only have about three actual friends left. Everyone else is scattered among their own university cities, or I've discovered that I can no longer stand some of my high school friends' childish personalities and behaviour (I've simply outgrown them), or we've just drifted apart. I've got a big group of friends I hang out with when I go to see Toronto FC (soccer) games in Toronto, but... it's an hour and a half long drive.
So, tonight when I wanted to go to a movie, and my three hometown friends were either busy, or throwing up into buckets at home with the flu... it pretty much left me optionless, as I'm not driving an hour and a half to see a movie.
Normally this would depress me more than words can express, as it leaves me here. At home. By myself, with my mother and stepfather watching "So You Think You Can Dance" in the other room... but tonight I choose to see the upside.
I was going to go to the movies, and indulge in a small popcorn, which would've taken my calories from 1,200 for the day to 1,600-1,800. And INSTEAD, I threw on my iPod, my jersey and my running shoes, and went for an evening run, listening to an audiobook (New Moon!). Not only did I keep my calories down, I burned more than I would have otherwise!
Small victories in the face of serious depression.
That's great! I feel like you, so many of my friends are really pretty superficial friendships because we're just at different places in our lives. I am seriously completely obsessed with So You Think You Can Dance!! I would love to see the Canadian version and compare! It is the best ever adn I totally fantasize that I could dance like them!
I'll have to think about that for the next few days. I have such a weird work schedule that my off days are always in the middle of the week when my friends don't want to do anything. Maybe instead of being lazy the next few days I'll find something physical to do.
That's definitely a great way to think about it!!!
I am very much in the same boat as you. I have friends, three good friends from high school that are around my hometown still because my college friends all live far enough away that I can't really call them on the spur of the moment. We are at the point where plans have to be made in advance for dinner or whatever. I mean, I know that if something major came up, they would drop whatever they were doing in a heartbeat and get down here, but it's not the same as having them living next door like in college.
My best friends are my "skating friends". They are the girls that I travel with to see my skating events. However, they don't live even remotely close to me. I'm in Boston and they're in Toronto, Detroit, and Chicago. But, sadly, I see them more throughout the year than the friends that live in the surrounding towns.
Although it leaves me with a lot more alone time than I like sometimes, I'm starting to be ok with it. I used to really feel sorry for myself a few years back. But I feel like I have my own schedule now when it comes to working out and whatnot. I still feel lonely from time to time, but I guess I have been getting used to the alone, solitary time.
I totally get what you mean. I like you lost touch with ALL of my friends from high school because they were going on a path I didn't really want to follow. I am lucky I have my sister and my bf as my best friends but my bf living in Chicago and my sister raising a busy family it is hard to do alot of things. But on a the upside it has helped me stay healthy because there's not alot of eating out and sitting around being lazy. I have no excuse but to get out and do something for myself.
I am in the same boat as you. I moved back home to Jacksonville after graduating from UF, and very few people that I knew from before college are no longer around. I am feeling it right now because I would kill for a friend to do this weight loss journey with me.
I really get what you mean..... over the years when I went through rough patches, I realized that the best way to hone my determination to succeed was to take my pain and loneliness and use it to make me stronger, work harder, etc. The lonelier I am, I've noticed, the harder I work and more determined I am. Friendships and relationships tend to make me become more easily sidetracked.....
....I always feel completely friendless. I moved 45 minutes from my "home" to my original hometown where I have zero friends. My DF and I don't have a car anymore either because we're deep in the city, it saves us lots of money which out weights our costly rent, and we don't have to deal with parking. I rarely get to see anyone I know, though. I talk to people at work and have made friends with customers but nothing more then talking. I spend most of my nights home with DF. We go out and everything, but I mean, we're not 50 years old. We're 20-somethings and I think having good friendships is important. I want a girlfriend to go food shopping with or to be able to go on lunch dates, etc.
But I am going back to school in January and we decided to move closer to home and get a car again. So I am hoping things will get better.
Way to go on making it a positive experience! Sometimes we just need that alone time as well!
Last edited by WormwoodDoll; 06-29-2009 at 12:04 AM.
I'm friendless I'm just socially awkward
but yeah sometimes it sucks and gets me down
but other times, it doesn't feel so bad
cause I have hobbies that I enjoy doing.
That's great about the run! such an awesome alternative to sitting at the movies and getting fat haha
New Moon- yay! good book. We should go see that movie together lol
It is good you are focusing on the positive.. though, I think it's a good idea to take some risks and be more independent. Confidence really does attract people. It took a long time for me to find friends in Korea and it didn't help that I holed up in my apartment in my free time either. We started accepting invitations to things we wouldn't normally do and after awhile it paid off and we found some great friends.
I'm in the same boat as you Jelbb. Not a ton of friends left in my home town after going to college half a country away for 4 years, and I'm about to leave again in 3 weeks and move to the other coast for a year (Americorps) so trying making new ones is sort of pointless.
It can get really lonely at times.
But it has TOTALLY helped me lose weight. Which is awesome. And I just got a bunch of seasons of Buffy out from the library to keep myself busy with.
I'm in a similar boat. Been at home living with my parents for a year now (moving out in August) and I don't have any friends in a three hour radius. I go visit friends a lot of weekends, but it always has to be a full weekend trip.
However, what this has meant for me is that I can concentrate on myself. I feel like if I had friends around for the last six months it would have been a lot harder for me to eat healthy and quit smoking, since my friends aren't great influences.
Anyway, in can take a while, but having no friends around can teach you a lot. It's taught me that being alone isn't the same thing as being lonely.
The Upside of Having No Friends
I'm just socially awkward
lol
And I just got a bunch of seasons of Buffy out from the library to keep myself busy with. 
