[neeka]

Hi everyone,

Ive not been on here for a while as I moved countries and started a new job, but now Im signing in because I could really use some moral support & sound advice.

I'm not sure what's happening. I was doing so well, exercising, eating healthy and not too much, controlling my sugar cravings. But lately I've just lost it. I binge, I eat unhealthily, I have absolutely no control over myself. And the worst thing is, I've lost faith. Its a mental thing - even though Im still reasonable light, Im already beginning to see myself as 'fat' and acting like I am and like there's nothing I can do about it. Im staying away from tighter jeans, from mirrors, I call myself names, I eat stuff because it's useless anyway... all the bad stuff basically!

I really want to get back on track, back to realizing that I need to take it slow but stay steady and stable, not set too high a goal... I know what to tell myself but I just can't feel it.

I really don't want to slip back. If you have any advice or encouragement to tell me, please do!

Nxx

[HeatherMcG]

I feel similarly to you. I'm gaining so rapidly it is ridiculous. Decided today (with reminder from a good friend ) that I needed to do something about it..... and now. 4 months from now will come either way. Will it be four months wasted leaving you with more weight to lose? Or 4 months of hard work and a little progress to show for it. Its your choice. 4 months from now will come either way. How will you spend the time between now and then?


And that was enough to get me moving...

Hope this helps!

[butterfly120]

Sounds like part of it may be due to all of the changes you've had lately. Moving and starting a new job can be hectic. You've started back on the right track by comming here for support. This site always helps keep me strong when I want to cheat or give up. Just take it one step at a time. The more good decisions you make each day, the less fear you will have about the mirror!

[Mandee80]

I also think you need to stick to this site for advice and support. The women here are great. I check in everyday just to keep my mindset straight. I also found that writing down everything I eat helps me stay on track, and avoid eating too many sweets/high calorie/high fat foods.

[tkm256]

It doesn't sound like you've lost control over your mind/body, it sounds like that mind/body is desperately trying to take back control due to the huge changes in your life. Binging and hating yourself is familiar; it's like your emotional home base. The world around you has changed so you're retreating to the bitter comfort of familiar destructive habits.

Whenever I'm stressed by changes or the prospect of changes, I revert to conforming to my "fat, stupid, lazy" mental image of myself from high school because it seems like something solid on otherwise unsteady ground. It's like, "This house, these people, this job are different. I don't know them, and lacking knowledge means I lack power. Avoiding brownies is unfamiliar too; I'm fat and fat people are supposed to eat lots of brownies. I'll eat brownies and be me...I'll get power back" (not the literal thought process, of course, but the one going on under my worded thoughts). A lot of people do that when they reach their goal weight: the "new them" is too unfamiliar and it seems safer to gain it all back.

So two things to do: find stability in your new life, and redefine who you know as "you". Both are really, really hard. You should tackle the first one first, because it makes the second one easier.

Best of luck.