[LoveAlwaysK]

This website is the closest thing I have to girlfriends and I seriously need advice.

Ive been dating the same guy on and off for 5 years now, weve broken up, had our differences, hurt each other, and managed to get over it all and weve had 2 years of no problems....except im a little bored. I feel like hes hurt me so much in the past that my longing for him all those years has withered away, I suppose its the whole "you want what you cant have" and I always wanted a serious and committed relationship with him. Now I have it. And hes a good guy nowadays, but im so bored. I dont mean sex wise. But we just know each other SO well and I feel like weve been married for years. We are engaged. And im worried. Ive dated alot of guys, while we had our breaks. So I know what being with another guy is like...Heres the bad part.

3 years ago I met this guy, and he was SO dreamy, still is. We hit it off so well, but we lost touch because he was in navy. 2 weeks ago I found him...and weve been having amazing conversations...and he wants to be with me. Half of me wants to runaway and see what will happen with this guy, the other half wants to stay with my fiance and not lose what weve been building. Im so torn, and so heartbroken. I dont want to make the wrong decision...

Have any advice?
Should I just drop the dreamy sailor and not risk losing my current life?
Or Drop my soon to be husband, and jump head first into this crazy fantasy?



Confused...

[mandalinn82]

How old are you?

I know that, for me, where I am in my life today, this choice would be a no-brainer...stability, a relationship built over time, etc...fantasy is fantasy, and to me, stability is what you want in real life.

But if you're younger, or don't value that stability as much, it may be that the sailor coming back in is the Universe's way of telling you to take a step back.

[sprklemajik]

I think Mandalinn hit it on the head. I would just be sure that even if you give up the sailor, you're 100% committed to the man you are going to marry. Don't do him and yourself a disservice by just marrying him because it seemed like an ok thing to do at the time.

[nelie]

I've read somewhere that there are a few breaking points at a relationship because relationships change... 6 months, 3 years, 7 years. It is natural for your relationship to change over time but sometimes we crave that 'newness' of a relationship. Even new relationships turn 'old' eventually.

My relationship with my husband has changed over the years but I believe its changed for the better. The newness is nice, the first getting to know eachother, the first living together, doing things together, etc. This is someone I can imagine being happy with for the rest of my life.

I do think you have to re-evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend without looking at outside influences. Are you happy? Do you love him? Could you be with him for the rest of your life?

My advice is don't leave your boyfriend for someone else but don't marry someone or stay with them just because.

[Slashnl]

Such smart replies you have already received! I agree with them!

Keep in mind too, that even the dreamy sailor could become boring sailor once the newness wears off. But I wouldn't go into marriage with doubts. Just take your time!