I keep getting these "stop losing weight you look fine " comments over and over again and its really bothering me .. i dont feel like im there yet .. Are these comments coming out of concern or jealousy? Because they are seriously bothering me and not helping with my weight loss at all and i dont know what to say to people that tell me those things any more :S.
Hey! Well, it could really go either way! I had a friend I was losing weight with. She's 5'2 and was down to 120lbs. On her, it looked kinda bad! She looked too thin and her head looked huge on her body (the starts of lolipop syndrome). Turns out she has body dismorphic problems. It took her seeing a photo of her when she thought she looked great to realize she needed to gain about 5lbs (on that height its alot). When we are so used to seeing ourselves at a larger size, we tend to think we still need to lose weight. Hearing it from other people can be either jealousy OR they are waving a big red flag in your face! Take a pic of yourself and look at it with a clear mind. AND DO be sure to do WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT! Until then, and if you are comfortable, take what they say with a grain of salt. Maybe tell them that it bothers you when they say what they do. Chances are they dont know they aren't helping! Good luck, and congrats on the loss!
My mom recently told me the same thing, but it was more out of concern that I don't take it too far in the future. You could reply with something like "Thank you for your concern, but I am eating healthily and working out and my body will decide what weight it wants to be."
When I was about 160 my mom, bf and grandmother all kept saying I had "lost enough" now..somehow they didn't realize that its a new lifestyle and not something you start and give up.....I think it was out of concern because I had lost 70 lbs by then and they were focusing more on how much I had lost..the big number rather and it kind of worried them...I assured them that I eat very healthy(and a LOT), and I exercise...I felt good but I knew I still had more to lose.
A coworker at approx the same time said to me once, "oh you've lost enough now so maybe you should ease up on the diet and not lose anymore" I honestly think it was a little bit of jealousy ( she is approx 155 and always trying some fad diet to lose some weight) so I replied with..." It's a new lifestyle change and when my weight starts maintaining I'll know i'm finished..and anyone who says that is jealous :P" that put her in her place!
It was honestly starting to drive me crazy..all these people making these comments when I knew I had more weight to lose.
If I were you i'd ask some friends (who you know will be honest with you) if you appear to look ill/too scrawny...or you can do as someone said above take a picture of yourself and take a VERY good look at yourself.
I used to get that a lot the first time I lost a lot of weight...but I wasn't doing it in the most healthy manner then and I was definitely obsessed with chasing an ideal my "child bearing hips" and "runners legs" were never going to let me get to!
Sometimes its just concern or even their way of complimenting you i.e. you've lost so much, you look great! You don't need to lose anymore means "I'm proud of what you've done, you're looking good right as you are".
People don't see us as we see ourselves. I am told now that I look fit, lean and strong "vibrant", "vital" and "athletic" are the most common phrases used.
I'm flattered people think that but I do know I look better a couple body fat percentages down...I just say thanks to those people and continue doing what I am doing.
Back in the other period I mentioned those "stop - you look fine" comments WERE out of concern because I kept losing weight to about 50 kilos (112 pounds) on a 5'6 medium frame - I was obsessed! I was also emaciated, skeletal and depressed...
I think the best thing to do is take a picture and post it here when i get back from Dallas .. maybe you girls opinions might help me ?
Yeah, it's really impossible to tell just from a weight and height everyone's body is so different.
I'm 5'1" and I tend to look best around 120-115ish (I think), but my body tends to be a little bit more muscular and thus heavier than most women, you might be the same way.
Honestly, I was 118lbs, 5ft 4in and people were telling me the same thing. I know it doesn't sound that small, but at 13% body fat, I was pretty thin. People told me all the time how skinny I was, and would ask "why in the world would YOU diet?"
At the time, I didn't understand just how thin I really was. I think weightloss/thinness/long term hunger does something to your brain, warps it permenantly. I'm now 17lbs heavier and I look like a whale, but I still feel as fat as I did back then. Weird.
I try to avoid conversations which could possibly lead people to saying those things in the first place. Usually the only times I've had friends/family say "stop, you look fine" is if I make some comment that brings attention to the fact I'm on a diet, like "Ugh, I ate too many of those cookies in the lounge; I'll have to run a third mile today" or "I'd love to buy that dress when my hips are a little smaller."
I haven't received unsolicited advice since I was in my teens and thought I was fat at 105, when I really /did/ look too skinny (esp. with my big frame). Like the other gals have said, just assure these people and yourself that your body will naturally settle at its happy weight, whether that's at 130 or 120 or anything in between.
Sooo frustrated!
