I haven't been here too long, so forgive me if I'm talkin crazy, but I've noticed that the topic of sexuality is often referenced in posts, but rarely/seldom openly discussed. I think that sexuality is definitely related to weight loss for a few reasons:
-It seems like many people here want to lose weight to become "sexier"
-OTOH, it seems like some fear the sexual "consequences" of losing weight
(more attention, etc)
-Self-esteem and perceived sexual attractiveness often go hand in hand
-The actual logistics of sexual activity for overweight or obese people can be unique
-overweight and obese people often face cultural pressure to be asexual or less sexual
-sexual attraction to/between overweight and obese people is sometimes viewed as "abnormal" or necessarily fetishistic; breaking that stereotype and embracing sexuality can be difficult
-the process of different weight loss methods (including WLS) may have sexual side effects
These issues and others don't seem like they really have an outlet for discussion. 3FC is pretty clean in many regards, but maybe a place designated for frank discussion of "dirty" stuff might be helpful?
This idea has merit as these topics do seem to come up fairly frequently, and feelings about sexuality and intimacy are very linked to body image and self-esteem. However, getting a whole forum dedicated to it might be difficult. It might make more sense to start a "sexuality thread" and see what kind of response you get. While I have only been posting for six months, it is my understanding that new forums often "grow" out of popular threads that prove themselves over time.
There have been many threads over the years discussing sexuality, challenges at certain weights, body image, etc. Sexuality is part of the whole experience and these topics come up naturally in the course of supportive conversation. I think that a sexuality subforum would only invite voyeurism (I can see it now---7000 views in one day!) from the general public, whereas having these conversations woven into the boards and threads where people know each other and can speak frankly engenders comfort and honesty.
I agree with midwife. 3FC has younger members here (age 13 and up), which means it might be best not to get too far into, um, "logistics." And, yes, this site is viewed by the general public...
As an option to keep it out of general public view:
It might be possible to have that forum only visible to logged in users. My husband is a member of Professional Photographers of America. On their message boards there are a few forums open for the general public to view, then when he logs in as a registered user, many more forums appear that pertain to business and technical stuff.
It might be possible too to add an additional age password to a forum- don't know the technology of message boards- just thinking aloud. I know ebay has some auctions your must age verify. I don't go there, so I don't remember how effective it is.
Its not a topic that particularly interests me, but if there is a need then I vote to definitely find a way to keep it private, safe, and keep out the kids.
Unfortunately, we can only verify age if we require a credit card number to also prove identification, which we can't do.
I don't really see us having a forum like this because as the other members mentioned, we have a lot of young readers here. Also, it's a topic open to a very large number of curiosity seekers (to put it nicely) that would target our membership and we don't want to put anyone here at risk.
It's ok if the topic comes up, but we do ask that everyone understands the above
as a side note, i think having a "sexuality" forum is a good idea, if the sexuality we are talking about is GLBT issues. i think this would be a good forum/thread to have, since one's sexuality can be a big factor in weight loss.
Having a forum that's not exclusively about >>> sexuality<<<< which might scare a lot of shy people away, but maybe a more milder title like : "Relationships & Intimacy", or something where the subject of sexuality is easily approached , and expected .
But, for now, this thread is as good as any !
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippolyta
-overweight and obese people often face cultural pressure to be asexual or less sexual.
I have to say, that is the one thing that is the most oppressive aspect of my life right now, that I have become somewhat androgenous in the general public. I use to get looked at, noticed, flirted with, now I'm all but invisible.
Last edited by Hermit Girl; 01-08-2009 at 03:14 PM.
as a side note, i think having a "sexuality" forum is a good idea, if the sexuality we are talking about is GLBT issues. i think this would be a good forum/thread to have, since one's sexuality can be a big factor in weight loss.
i agree with painted lady, i think having a forum dedicated to sexuality in the sense of lgbtq issues might be a good idea. i know that for me it would've been a big help to have a place to write about my emotions while i was figuring my stuff out in the beginning of high school. but yah.. idk...
and hermit girl, you shouldn't feel invisible. you're just as much a person as everyone else, and you shouldn't let cultural pressures bring you down. and, if you refuse to let cultural pressures get in your way (which i know is hard as heck to do, i'm trying to do it right now), but if you are able to get past them and be a confident 'you', people will be attracted towards you, no matter what you look like.
I agree with painted lady that we should have a GLBT sexuality forum.
I've seen a lot of people go through horrible things, weight wise and some other terrible things I wont mention. Just watching my friends go through things like that have caused me to go through some emotional eating and such.
But for sexuality like intimacy, I had my first account on here when I was 15, so that's proof that there are some underage people. (I'm 17, which is still a minor). And as a high school student who hears "who-did-who" every period of the day, I can understand how some of us younger members would feel even more pressure to give in, even if they want to say no. Especially hearing about how it burns calories and them wanting to lose weight would make it really tempting. But that's just my opinion.
Last edited by Skinny Teen; 01-08-2009 at 08:59 PM.
I think it would be silly to not have one, since we all talk about it now anyway. It's an important issue that comes up with weight loss.
I also agree with those of you who said we should have a GLBT sexuality section too. I don't think anyone would be offended if they were all mixed together (straight and GLBT threads), either, but maybe for organization's sake it could be a subthread?
We're not creating a forum for this Our main focus here is weight loss. We do occasionally have questions about sexuality and intimacy, and they are rightfully posted in the 'body images and issues' or 'general chatter' forums. It's working so far
We appreciate the suggestion, though, and the thought that went into this. We are always open to new ideas that might work well with our community, so please keep them coming
Suggestion: Sexuality forum?
