[nanj]

I've been under a great deal of stress and my old eating habits are never far from me. I feel like I've been eating constantly. I get done eating and feel like I'm starving within an hour. I know the quality and quantity of food is within range, but my danged head doesn't seem to know that. I've been watching my GC for over 12 hours a day for the last two week, plus other stuff and I feel like I'm living in the kitchen. Haven't been able to exercise very much. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat worried that I'll be back over 300 in a few months. I was making sammies for the kids and eating as much lunchmeat as I was putting on their sands! What a nut ball I am! I feel fat and think I look fat. Now how is that for a nut job!?!? I haven't even been truthful in my food journal. And that is a place that I always try to be honest with myself. I would like to reach 160 before I have my one year surgeriversary. And why is that? Because I'm afraid of that 10 to 20 lb gain a lot of people talk about. But even at 160 I'm at the top of my range for height. I've been plagued with a bad back pain and the bone-on-bone knee pain this week and feel every one of my 57 years the last few days.

Now what to do about all of this? I'm packing a picnic lunch tomorrow and getting away from the kitchen. I'm going to read in the park with my GC, walk, and not do a blessed thing. I swear every minute of my days, I'm doing something. I'm extremely grateful that I can do it, but think I need a break and get my head out of the kitchen. I'm not taking my cell phone but I'm taking my knitting. If that doesn't work than I'm going to have my SIL watch the kids for a few hours and just walk until I'm too tired to eat. Now take that you stupid stress eating!!!!




N

[missangelaks]

Oh Nancy! I totally understand! I love that you have a plan to get out for a while...being outside of my house always helps me. Glad to hear you are going to take time for yourself. I do better when I'm busy and horrid when I'm too busy.

I try to be honest with my food journal too but it doesn't always happen. I feel that for me the difference between maintaining during a stressful spell and gaining it all back is the realization that I am human and I make...what's that???...yes that's right!!... believe it or not!!...I make mistakes! Knowing that we all make mistakes and we are not a mistake or essentially mistaken, is very important thing that I hold onto on a regular basis.

My friend, I think we are just going to muddle along, not giving up because of any given bump in the road, until we get to our goal.

Angela