[Fatter Fitter]

So I just started university, and I'm in a really intense party school (and in the residence that's known for partying the most). It's a great school, though, just that put together a lot of teenagers (even smart ones) and you get a lot insanity.

And I'm on such an unhealthy road - since it's the week before school starts, it's basically acceptable to drink whenever you have the chance to roll out of bed and not be dying from a hangover. And I'm drunk every night, and I go to sleep at like 3-6 am in the morning. And I'll wake up at like 9-10 for some reason, and my heart would be hurting so much. Then I'd fall asleep and wake up at like 1 pm, feeling better. But I have no appetite and then I'd pick at something and go out again.

And I want to go out without drinking but it helps me relax and I'm not as self-conscious about my weight when I'm drinking and I wanna have the whole college experience. Plus it's more fun to hang around other drunk people when you're drunk too. I'll only live in a dorm once in my life, and I'm hoping that the partying will tone down once school starts. mY classes start fairly late but not late enough for me to feel completely well.

And it just seems like everyone makes friends really easily and I kinda bounce around from group to group but making no real connection since everyone's too drunk to even remember half the people they met the night before. So I'm afraid that I'll either break this drinking/no eating streak and just start binging, or keep losing weight (I've already lost like 3 pounds in the last week) and then look sickly and disgusting and gain all of it back.

And I definitely need to start a gym regimen but that's extremely hard because of all the insanity. And I really want to stay in tonight because my orientation group already left and we're going clubbing and I feel really bad because everyone's in couples and I'm just dancing by myself. And when someone does dance with me, it's awkward and I don't like the idea of random hookups, although I guess it's too late for that idea.

Did anyone go though this in university? Or is doing so currently? See I don't even have the benefit of being thin and then gaining weight by binge drinking and eating. I'm already fat and if I keep it up, I'll only gain more weight. I'm sorry for the runon sentences I'm still kinda feeling the alky. I need some advice.

[Jadeybaby]

I'm at university so I know exactly what you're talking about.

Firstly, you won't be drinking this way the whole way through college. Usually it's insane for the first week or 2 of each semester but then everyone settles down, so don't panic that you'll always be eating lots of crap and drinking loads of booze.

Secondly, it's really important that you look after yourself at Uni. Eat well and make sure you don't drink too often. Stick to spirits with diet mixers if you have to drink. And definitely try your hardest not to binge after a big night out.

I would advise you to join a gym if that's something you were thinking about doing. If you exercise you will feel healthier and therefore more able to concentrate on your classes when they start and you can work off any boozy nights out.

You say that people seem to make friends really easily, but trust me, everyone is in the same boat and probably feel alone and fake confidence and such.

You don't have to make drinking your only social activity. Are there any clubs or societies on campus that you can join? This is an excellent way of meeting people who share your interests. Fake confidence even if you feel like you're dying inside. People respond well to people who smile and look friendly.

Sorry my post is all mixed up but if you need to know anything specific or something then PM me

[Yellofly]

If I could make a suggestion,

People tend to run in different time zones in College / University. Try changing the times you're awake & asleep, and a whole new group of people will be around for you to meet.

Give this a try: If you skip drinking for 24 to 48 hours, you'll be awake when those who have been drinking are sleeping it off.

That's when you'll have a chance to meet the people who haven't been up drinking, and you're right, they'll have a better chance of remembering meeting you. lol.

Try hanging out with people in this new "time zone" and it'll help you get back on track, I think. When I was in first year, those who drank that heavily didn't make it one semester, and around november/december, they didn't make it through exams and went home either by choice, or because they just didn't have the grades.

I know that I'm not rich, so I couldn't afford to screw up my chance to go to university. Better grades = more scholarships. Also, I know I'm only young once, but I don't want to lose 10 grand a year in school fees by drinking to have fun & enjoy myself, and then not even be able to remember it the next morning!

You know? Just my experience,

-Yellofly.

[Starrynight]

Hmm.. I like what Yellofly posted about changing the times, that is very true lol

It's funny b/c I had drama for NOT drinking! I had a huge thing with my suitemates last year because I'm actually not a big party person.. it isn't my scene and I HATE frats. I also have a boyfriend too and going to those frats just feels so.. wrong... all that would happen was I'd get hit on by creepy guys and I don't like how the dancing or beer either..
So I had a lot of drama BECAUSE I wouldn't go out to the frats with my suitemates and they started gossiping about me and how they think my bf is controlling... ugh.. but I'm getting off-track..

You know what is fun? Getting together with a few close friends and drinking.. You feel more of a connection and the drinking is really only to relax, not to escape. You pace yourself better and you learn to control how much you drink.. I did that a few times with close friends and my boyfriend.. he's a jazz/flamenco/fusion guitarist and so was this other kid we met, so we were drinking and listening to them jam out and then at the end we started singing along to the Beatles... haha good times.

Personally, I think it's more of a college "experience" when you meet people and build connections with them (sober) b/c yeah drunk people aren't exactly the best to make that connection with.. I mean, you'll make friends regardless and parties aren't really the place to meet em.. Just make the effort with people in your classes.. and if you wanna go drinking with them, it's a lot more meaningful, fun, and less crazy/dangerous. Remember, there's no rule that says you MUST go out drinking and sleeping at crazy times of the night just because you're in college!

So my advice.. would be just to do it occasionally and don't let it get in the way of your sleep/eating habits~ and yeah the gym at school is perfect, that's what I do during the semester~

[carinna]

Originally Posted by Yellofly

Try changing the times you're awake & asleep, and a whole new group of people will be around for you to meet.

Give this a try: If you skip drinking for 24 to 48 hours, you'll be awake when those who have been drinking are sleeping it off.

That's when you'll have a chance to meet the people who haven't been up drinking, and you're right, they'll have a better chance of remembering meeting you. lol.

This is really fantastic advice.

[K8-EEE]

Hey there! Well my daughter has a not-crazy crowd to hang out with -- and this is in party-hearty Santa Cruz (by San Francisco.)

She's a vegan so pizza and that kind of stuff is out anyhow. She got involved in a lot of political & election type activities....her friends are nice and not into partying and random hookups either.

Don't just go along with stuff you don't enjoy. you have to learn the words "no, thanks" and not be afraid of rejection, when you do you will find the others like you who are looking for a different type of college experience.

I can guarantee you that everyone who "gets drunk every night" is going to pay a heavy price, and a lot of them won't finish college.

Starrynight, my daughter and her friends are really into the Beatles too!

[Starrynight]

I agree with you K8 haha I think you put into words what I was trying to say =P

Sounds like my kinda crowd!
Yeah I've also found with those groups that are constantly drinking together, they seem to have a lot of drama too and there ARE many people who would rather not drink.. or would rather not be in that crowd, you just gotta hang around after the drunk crowds leave to find em =P