I am struggling really bad today ladies and I went searching for some advice here and thought that the maintenance board would be perfect? I have so many mixed emotions right now about my weightloss and I need someone to be really HONEST with me?
I started losing weight in June of 04 after reading an intuitive eating book that really helped me realize that I was basicly grazing all day long. I was never feeling any hunger at all. So I began to lishen for hunger and within six months I had lost around 35 pounds...eating whatever I desired, just never over-eating and never eating until I was truely hungry. Then in Jan. of 05 I began to buy more veggies and fruits, and it became a habit of mind to this day to eat whole grains some weeks and some weeks I buy the white stuff. I never really see any difference in my weight as I am so careful about not over-eating?? I am very good about this, and I am proud of myself..as I know this is a major accomplishment. So fast forward to 2007...I pretty much stayed at 280 for like the first six months...then I began walking and eating more summer fruits and lost down to 261. It is now Jan. 2008 and I weighed in this morning at 263. So I am once again stuck..beyond stuck.
Here is my question...I know I MUST do something different?? But I am so scared to restrict myself?? I really want to do South Beach, but I feel like if I take away my freedom to feel the hunger and eat what ever I want...it may back fire on me?? I want to try this...but I don't want to feel like a failure anymore...I am way past that. I hate feeling restricted...even though I know that SB is a very healthy eating plan...I just like mentally knowing if I have a strong craving for something..I can have it.
Am I making any sense? I really need someone to be honest with me and help sort this out? Am I just afraid of the work or the dicipline? Is this normal? Should I just forget it all together and trudge along...losing less that 20 pounds a year? My goal is 199...so that would take me like three more years??
I like being able to eat something sweet once or twice a week?? Maybe I am just to lazy?
Please help! Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated!
Last edited by Skinny4baby; 01-10-2008 at 04:01 PM.
At some point what most of us have had to do is introduce calorie counting of some form or another.
I did southbeach and loved what it did for me (blood sugar, depression, insomnia, overall health) but without calorie counting I still was able to overeat. Plus I detest artificial sweeteners and would rather use real stuff less often. I actually found that the "required" artificial dessert on SBD would eventually tailspin me into sugar frenzy. I now refuse to eat artificial sweeteners. (I do occasionally drink diet coke, but that is a long story on why that doesnt affect me the same)
What I do now is do a "south beach (or diabetic) BASED calorie counting"
I eat south beach approved 80% of the time. whole grains, fruits, lots of veggies, healthy fats and lean proteins. But some times I eat white stuff and real chocolate and real icecream as long as it fits within the number of calories I need. The only time I eat "Pure" south beach is when I am trying to bust a bad binge cycle and get back on track. no DIET has to be an all or nothing approach.
I think regardless of WHAT foods you eat, you probably will have to track portions and calories at some level to progress faster.
Skinny: Ennay is totally right. The one plan that you can most control your hunger with AND have no 'off-limit' foods is calorie counting. I have done a million diets, but I'm finally back to the tried-and-true. Like you, I havn't lost all my weight but I have developed some good habits over the years and I'm afraid a rigid plan might dismantle them. Counting cals allows you to determine what goes in your mouth and when ~ which seems perfect for you. And infact, it will probably come easier to you than a drastic switch to SB or something...
Ennay - you are my new role model!!! The plan you describe in your post is exactly to a T what I have just begun doing (this is after years and years of trying to figure what will work long-term for me). AND we were at nearly the same start/goal weights; I'm just a bit taller than you. But I have 2 questions for you.
1- How many cals did you eat a day when you were losing?
2 - Did you exercise and if so, how often and what type?
Hey Skinny, great job so far! I think you need to do two things. Regarding food, Ennay and the others have addressed calorie counting, which if you approach it as a adjunct to what/how you eat now should work without being horribly restrictive. The second is that you probably need to up your exercise intensity. Bodies get used to the level of exercise you give them and get very efficient at doing that level of exercise. So when you started walking, you burned more calories doing it than you do now because your body has adapted to that level. Weight lifting would be something to investigate. It has lots of advantages including making your body look smaller at the same weight - always a good thing.
Angela...well...to start with, I was breast feeding during weight loss, so that makes my calorie count higher.
During the most consistant part of my weightloss I averaged 2200 calories per day.
I also was training for a marathon, so I ran...a lot. I probably averaged about 25-30 miles a week during that time, actually my weightloss slowed as my mileage went up because at some point I had to choose between feeling strong and losing. at about 30 mpw I put weightloss on hold.
It is NOT necessary to run that much, quite frankly, you would be much better served taking some of that time and lifting weights. I run that much because I love it.
Thank you ladies...I really appreciate the advice. I do count calories now..I have been at this for so long..I basicly have calorie counts memorized..and I even have calorie flash cards that I made. I do a mental accountability count every night. It is the only way I have kept the weight off I believe.
As far as exercise...I am very lax in this area..because I loathe it so much.I do walk...and my dh and I recently joined a gym with awesome equipment/weight machines. I have went twice. Seems I mentally have a problem with weight training also?? I keep telling myself that my weight will go UP because of muscle gain. I think I am just terrified of gaining the weight back because I did it so much back and forth all my life since I was 9 years old. For me to go over three years and be on track is good for me.
Ennay...I, like you, detest any form of artificial sweetner. I just feel like it is not good for your body...I also buy organic when possible. I eat mainly chicken and wild salmon (Trader Joes is really good) as I don't care for red meat...if I eat read meat..it is a really good hamburger with all the fixings like twice a year. I eat alot of spinach and alot of apples. I stay away from Cereal because it is so high in sugar. I drink water and organic milk only. I really like the 80 % on track mentality..that might work for me?? I also was thinking about SB during weekdays and weekends could be my 20%??
I am trying really hard to work my way up to three times a week in the gym. I feel so good when I leave..energized.
Last edited by Skinny4baby; 01-10-2008 at 05:48 PM.
OK Skinny, you've gotten some good suggestions already! ennay is one of my heroes, too.
Now let me give you a little tough love... No, not really that tough.
Weight loss is not about limitless choice.
Now that may make you want to kick and scream, but there is restriction involved in weight loss. There has to be! Because, we got fat somehow, didn't we? And barring certain types of illnesses, it mostly had to do with, well, making choices that lead to weight gain.
So--yes--calorie counting is a good way to go, because no food is off limits. If you want to spend some calories on a food you are craving, you can--but you have to make allowances for it somewhere. And what you may find is that some "treat" foods just are not worth the calorie hit while you are losing weight. The doesn't mean they are forever out of bounds--just that now isn't a good time! When you get to maintenance, many foods will be able to come back in again.
Now--exercise--well, that's another thing where you'll find it makes weight loss easier. Don't worry about muscle making you heavier--you'd have to be doing weight lifting for a few months before you'd gain even a pound of muscle! Women don't bulk up like that. The main thing is, many people who are overweight are also in pretty poor shape. Getting more fit will help you lose faster.
So, maybe you need to make a pact with yourself--the part of you who is scared of the process. Tell her that you are going to help her, that she will feel better and happier, that she doesn't have to give up everything, and that you will help by being disciplined and staying with it.
I wish you all the luck! You definitely can be below 200 in less than 3 years!
Ennay: Thank you for the info. I'm not much of a runner as I am an asthmatic and running is too intense for me. I do like to walk, swim, play tennis, work out on the elliptical machine or the rowing machine and those are all doable for me. I am forever in awe of runners though. You are amazing! And definitely still my role model. So thanks!
With reguard to calories you say you already tally them mentally... but I would add once in awhile look up and write down the numbers and make sure you get everything. You don't have to do it that formally all the time but make sure you really aren't under estimating.
Also if you have trigger foods even if they are healthy keep them out of the house awhile and find an alternative you might not abuse. Yogurt for example I can't have around because I'll eat several at a time... so even though its a good choice when you eat 4... not so good.
Exercise allows you to eat more not tons more but it makes life easier and boosts the metabolism. If you don't like the gym you won't go... so what else can/WILL you do? Walk near home? Buy some DVDs? Do you have older kids to play tag with or something?
I'm a fan of calorie counting as well and I agree that you might want to write down what you are eating or log it into a computer based food diary. Also, you should be measuring portions (especially fats) so that you know exactly how many calories are in what you ate. It's very easy to estimate wrong. Personally, eye balling it doesn't always work for me even though I've been doing it over a year. I still weigh/measure food and I still log everything in fitday.
I had a hard time with exercise as well. So I started walking on my lunch hours. Walking is still my primary source of exercise, I just walk more often and farther now then I did in the beginning. Anything that keeps you moving will help. Are there any sports that you find fun? When it's fun it doesn't feel like exercise. Even dancing around the house to your favorite music is a start!
I'm a calorie counter, but wanted to talk about exercise.
I've always disliked it and doing it has been the hardest part of the journey. I have to make myself go. I make a commitment each month (number of minutes) and do it. The number rises and falls based on a lot of factors but I want it to be flexible.
I still hate the idea of GOING to do the exercise. Last night was a perfect example. After putting in a 10+ hour day, who wants to exercise? My hubby, bless his heart, just insisted we go. I dragged my feet, but by the time I GOT to the gym, I felt good about the decision. And I nearly always feel better after the workout. I've learned to remind myself of that feeling when I don't want to go.
I guess I'm saying there's hope, even if you don't like exercise. Oh, and weight training is great!! Sure, you may gain a little 'weight' in muscle, but women don't gain a lot, and that muscle looks GREAT on us! And helps us burn more calories! It really is a win-win!!
Skinny, great job to keep on track for 3 years !
You say you loathe to exercise, could you smuggle in some more movement in your daily routine ?
like
- wear a pedometer and try to increase steps,
park further away and walk a bit more,
take the stairs for 1 or 2 floors
bike to work
take a stroll in your lunch hour
Even if you only add like 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon, this is a whopping 140 minutes or 2 + hours in the week! And you do not have to get specially dressed or go to the gym for it.
You've gotten a lot of good advice. I second zenor's recommendation to measure, or better yet weigh, everything you eat. I've been doing this for 5 years, and I get a bad case of portion creep any time I stop. Today for example, I put my bowl on the scale, poured in 28g (ok 29) of cheerios, and use the 1/2 c measuring cup to put blueberries and soymilk into it. Ignoring my current pregnancy gain, I'm maintaining a 110+ pound weight loss for more than 5 years now, and I still have to do this or it slips back up there.
One other thing that no one has brought up, is that for some of us, me included, there is some physical discomfort in weight loss. Low grade hunger. Not being absolutely ravenous, which can lead to bingeing, but just a near-constant signal from the stomach. I found I can manage my hunger to a large extent by eating high quality calories, fruits and vegetables, legumes, whole grains, lean meats and non-fat dairy, with lots of fiber and protein, and minimizing "junk" foods, (in a loosely Volumetrics kind of way) but that it never goes away entirely. When I maintain my weight, I have no significant or prolonged hunger--if I'm hungry I eat. Some people can lose without hunger, and I'm jealous, but I'm not one of them. This is a very scary concept at first, but it is something you can live with, at least in the short term. Again, I'm not advocating starving yourself or getting really really ravenous, but for me a 500-1000 calorie deficit in a day means I will be hungry to some degree, and I have to live with that when I'm losing.
Before I sign off I just want to congratulate you on the progress you've made so far. I think a lot of "dieters" get hung up on a goal weight, and you've in some sense done it the right way, by making sustainable changes that you can live with forever. Your sig shows 122 pounds. That is amazing!! In your effort to push through farther, please take some time to consider what an astonishing (and difficult) change you've made so far, and give yourself a lot of credit for that.
Skinny - congrats on your weight loss so far! I have a few tips . . . I am a calorie counter, and it's true that I don't make any food off-limits, but I do set some additional rules which seems to be pretty common. For example, I only eat at a restaurant (including fast food and delivery) once per week. I do not keep sweets in my house, and if I want some sort of junk food like ice cream I have to go to an ice cream shop and order a single portion, since I know if I have a quart at home I will just eat it all.
Something else to think about if calorie counting becomes burdensome is weight watchers, which is basically (AFAIK, I have not officially done it) calorie counting simplified. If you decide to continue with calorie counting and reduce the number of calories you eat per day in order to lose more, here are some tips for feeling full on fewer calories: (1) eat a high-fiber breakfast, like oatmeal or bran. (2) snack on fruits and veggies rather than on "100 calorie packs" of less-healthy foods. (3) drink LOTS of water -- you'd be amazed how often thirst is mistaken for hunger.
Exercise is a really sensitive issue. For some people, it's the greatest thing ever. For others (like Heather ) it continues to be hard to convince yourself to do. Here is the thing about exercise -- you can't really say you don't like it until you've given it a good shot. Let me explain.
All my life I thought I hated exercise. I hated gym class in school, I especially hated it when they made us run. I hated climbing stairs, I hated walking up hills. I hated the way I felt after exercising. I envied people who would exercise a lot and thought, "I just have some genetic defect that makes me no good at exercise." When I started losing (for good, not the first time I lost and gained it all back), I knew that I was going to have to exercise and I was really scared. I made an agreement with my husband (well, he wasn't my husband yet at the time) to go to the gym with him three times a week, because he had been going without me anyway.
I decided that my exercise goal was going to be to be able to run one mile without having to stop and walk. This is something I was never able to accomplish as a kid. I figured it would probably take me a year of exercise to be able to work up to that. My gym had an indoor track that was 1/8 mile, so I decided I would start out by walking a lap, then jogging as much of a lap as I could, then walking again, until I started to get tired. Gradually I increased the amount of jogging and decreased the walking.
You know what? In two months I was able to "run" a mile. I put run in quotes because I ran so slowly it took me about 18 minutes to run that first mile, but I did it. During that process I discovered something about myself -- I don't hate exercise. I don't hate running. In fact, I love it! Why did I think I hated it for so many years? Because I was out of shape. Because I was expecting too much from myself as a beginner. When you go to gym class in high school, the assumption is that everyone has some base level of fitness and they are able to run a mile and do howevermany push-ups and sit-ups, etc. I would always try to run "with the pack" in high school, and you know what? I was just not capable of running that fast for longer than a few seconds. I would get so tired, my lungs would feel like they were going to explode, and I would always get a D or and F on every test in gym class. It sucked, so I hated it. But it turns out if I gradually built up my endurance, jogging at very slow speeds instead of trying to run as fast as I could, and never reaching the point where I was completely exhausted, I actually enjoyed it. I could do it. It was great! I started doing some weight training after that and was so excited to see my improvement. I felt better about myself, I looked better, and I had a great sense of accomplishment. I could keep setting goals and actually meeting them!
I am not saying that my personal exercise regime should be followed by everyone, or that everyone should love exercise. I am just trying to show an example of at least one person (myself) who had spent their entire life thinking they hated exercise, only to find out that they loved it. Who knew? So I guess I am just saying you should maybe give it a shot. Either set some new goals for your walking, or find some other exercise activity (at the gym or outside the gym), and make a commitment to try it a few times a week for two months. Maybe you'll hate it, maybe you'll find out you like it. One of the greatest things about exercise is seeing and feeling a change in your body, and you won't get enough of a change to even notice in 2-3 gym visits. It takes a longer trial period than that.
Okay, I babbled on and on, but I hope that helps a little.
I just wanted to add onto what Jessica said about exercise... or maybe clarify my earlier thoughts. I actually also (often) DO enjoy exercise while I do it. But she's right, that happened as I improved! I am stymied by why I don't want to go do something that I enjoy WHILE and AFTER I do it... but I suspect after over 2 years, it is something I will always struggle to go and do. For that reason, for me, making a commitment to exercise is probably one of the most important things I could have done. I think about all the other things I don't want to do, but do them anyway, because I have to...
Please be FRANK with me??
It is now Jan. 2008 and I weighed in this morning at 263. So I am once again stuck..beyond stuck.
I do walk...and my dh and I recently joined a gym with awesome equipment/weight machines. I have went twice. Seems I mentally have a problem with weight training also?? I keep telling myself that my weight will go UP because of muscle gain. I think I am just terrified of gaining the weight back because I did it so much back and forth all my life since I was 9 years old. For me to go over three years and be on track is good for me.
No, not really that tough.
) it continues to be hard to convince yourself to do. Here is the thing about exercise -- you can't really say you don't like it until you've given it a good shot. Let me explain.