[missangelaks]

In six weeks, I'll be sitting here typing about how I'm having surgery tomorrow... I'm a bit freaked out about that! We shall see how I am then! LOL

I have been trying to say goodbye to the food I have been using as my friend, confidant and anesthetic. Trying to do things I need to, like take vitamins, exercise or eat like I will be soon enough... ordering a smaller breakfast, drinking slowly, I even took 45 minutes to eat dinner, etc.

Telling myself I can do this...but now I am finding my nerves are shot, my neck muscles are too tight, I have a headache...that sort of thing. Though I feel like I'm not following all the restrictions that will be my reality after surgery, I think I'm doing myself a favor by stretching my limits now...giving up behaviors and amounts..."sitting" in any uncomfortable emotions without eating over them (the hardest of my experiments!)

But I do these things to make post-op life easier...to show that I care for myself enough to do this, that I can be strong enough to handle it.

Oh and NOT because I am not good enough and need to be better...not because there is anything essentially wrong with me...but because I need to change my life as it stands and deserve this change.

I told my surgeon I truly believe that all I need is this tool to get the whirlpool spinning the other way. WLS is like a big spoon... huh? you say...

There is an experiment I did with my preschool students that shows liquid in a bowl can move a spoon. Stir it hard enough and the whirlpool can carry the spoon (plastic one of course these are 4 year olds and easily amazed! LOL) but the challenge was stirring the other way, against the flow to change the whirlpool's direction.

I saw my life a few years back as the whirlpool that was circling the drain...I have been fighting to stir it the other way but just need a BIGGER SPOON!!!



Thanks for letting me talk,

Angela

[carvinmom]

hi, i think everyones out getting ready for xmas.. i noticed your message and was wandering what to say to you.. i had my surgery three months ago. i practiced like you are doing now , so i would have a smoother pre op and post op surgery and so glad i did. My surgery went very well and my post op went even better then i expected. i had no problems because i was prepared mentally and physically the best i could be. Every one is different and you will have your own experience with your doctor and surgery. Follow what they tell you , read as much as you can before surgery, and this group will help... be prepared.... Try not to worry so much about what your giving up but what you will be gaining in the long run...... and ask yourself why are you doing this, dig deep down for an honest answer...... mine was for health reasons and to change my lifestyle so i could walk again and breath normal again. THink about the good things that will happen,place some notes on your frig of some things you will look forward too.. im going into my third size down now!! I can tie my shoes now!!
I would never hesitate to do the surgery again... its so well worth it.. and with a little determination the surgerys not that bad..
if you need some hugs..... beep.... carvinmom

[jiffypop]

angela - gotta tell you that it sounds like you're doing just exactly the right things. what did your doc say about the spoon analogy'? i think it's a GREAT one.

as for feeling tightness in your shoulders and such, well, i'm thinking that it's the stress that you used to literally swallow. now's the time to figure out a way to get rid of it some other way. Now that you're getting more in touch with your body, you have a great chance to experiment and find something that works FOR YOU.

gentle stretching? a beginning yoga tape? meditation? brisk walk? the possibilities are endless, and it'll take some time to figure out what works best, and when, and why.

trust me, darlin. you're doing GREAT. have you gone back and reviewed your first couple of posts? well, i have. and you've had amazing changes!!!!

[missangelaks]

Well, Jiffy...I have gained a lot more confidence, that for sure! Nice to have people that understand you. I'm feeling more upbeat and comfortable here too, a little more myself...AND...each day the date gets closer, I get just a little nuttier.

Thanks for the suggestions on stress relief. I will try them out AND add my belly dancing tape. Exercise is always good for relaxing me OR wearing me out anyway!

I will have to try out my new Christmas foot messager my sister gave me...I love a good home pedicure!

Angela