[chocolatepsyche]

Hey everyone!

I'm Meredith. I'm 20. I'm chubby. I'm ready to not use my weight as an excuse or as something to hold me back anymore. Besides. Only so long before these jeans will hold me IN anymore.

I was a waify kid with a waify mum, but then puberty and chocolate came into the picture and I always had a complex. Then I was a teen. Then I actually got heavy.

Then I tried:
- Lean Cuisine
- Jenny Craig
- Weight Watchers
- LA Weight Loss
- Weight Watchers
- Bad bad bad eating behaviors.
In that order.

Then I started school, and I got skinny. Well, for me anyway (145 lbs). And I'm about 5'7 + on a good day. The thing is, I didn't lose it the healthy way. At all.

Now I've gained perspective on my life. Well, enough for a 20 year old. But, I've also gained a "still to be diagnosed" stomach disease... Which could be anything from IBS (Irritable Bowels) to Colitis to Celiac Disease apparently... (But I'm thinking the IBS is probably what's going on because I'm high strung, hyper, anxious, and not losing weight).
Everything hurts when I eat it. Except certain bread things. And dairy is okay. I've basically been told to get my calories from foods that don't hurt, even if it means mashed potatos much of the time.
Thus, I have gained weight. I can't eat any vegetables for the time being. Nuts and other good fats are hard to come by.

I'm trying to include soy protein and V8-ers in my diet for some variety. But this is hard at school.

And, damn it, I'm scared that once I wake up and get back on a diet/exercise plan, I'll slip back into my old ways... Which made me thin, but made me sad, scared, and hopeless.

Funny, thin didn't buy me happiness.

So here is the deal. I am not going to obsess with numbers. Numbers got me into trouble. I want to be a healthy, long-living woman. And I have A LOT of living to do.

So here I am. In all of my chubby glory. I'm sick of hiding behind eating disorders and dieting companies and not going out because "my jeans are too tight".

And I want to meet you. And I want friends on my journey to being healthy and satisfied with life. And I never want to go back to anything dark or unhealthy (on both ends of the spectrum), ever ever again. Is anyone out there?

I'd love to talk and hear your stories.

[SunshineRunner]

Hi Meredith - I'm out here! You will find that there are lots others as well! They are always here and never go away...not always the same person, but you will get used to them...I know I have. I get great advice and actual accountability.

Most of us have been in your shoes - or at least I know I have. Fluctuating the scales and trying anything that might just work this time....all of us have tried more than one route...you just have to be more cautious due to your stomach issues. I have been there as well. Undiagnosed stomach issues in high school and early college years...then post college collitis...yuck! These all effect your weight and are depressing situations...I know personally about the stomach issues. Thankfully, watching what I eat has helped. I haven't always watched what I eat...and I'm just back on track in the last 2 months to focusing on it....but if I do, I Know my stomach will stop yelling at me!

In any case - I'm a Slim Faster....no, I don't just have a shake for breakfast, one for lunch and a sensible dinner....doesn't work for me and isn't even what SF recommends anymore. I'm actually munching on some dry Fiber One Honey Clusters cereal right now. My focus for my diet is basically 1200 calories, cautiosly watch fat intake, low sodium and high fiber. Keeps me full, not bloated, and eating fairly healthy. I haven't gone off the deep end of my diet yet and only splurged on my bday last weekend and had pizza...and still lost 3lbs in the days that followed.

In any case...my diet may not work for you....but to me it's not just a diet, it is finally a lifestyle change. I go to the gym 6 days a week. I'm getting more done in my days. I'm boosting my confidence back to where it was...and I have been hit on a couple of times....I by no means am where I want to be...but will be there without a doubt in my mind...and my goal is to be there in about 6 more months or so (I haven't set a date in stone yet!)....

In any case...I hope this helps. We are all here for you...you might even have to be here for us one day as well.

Thanks for your story...keep on keepin' on!
Amanda

[lovinlifex2]

Meredith...

This is a great place to get started. There is so much information available and everyone is so sweet and helpful. Feel free to jump right in.

I am sorry to hear about all your medical problems, but I am sure you will find something that works for you. You seem like a very strong and determined young woman.

Good luck to you!

[Samybear]

Welcome Meredith. When I saw your post I felt I could relate to you on the stomach issues. Since the age of 9 I’ve been dealing with stomach problems, it took 11 years to be diagnosed with IBS then another 5 years to be diagnosed with mild Ulcerative Colitis. I have learned that I cannot follow the same eating plans as others on 3FC. As whole wheat makes my symptoms worse! Dairy and nuts are a no no for me, so I drink soy milk for protein and calcium. I pretty much follow the IBS diet found at helpforibs.com (low fat), it has greatly helped me get my stomach issues under control and I can lead a normal life. I exercise 6 days a week (cardio), and I just started 3 days a week of strength training. Please don’t feel that you will not be able to lose weight if you are to follow an IBS diet or eat foods that make your symptoms better. It’s very important to feel good, so you are able to exercise and start living a healthier life. I have lost over 40 pounds, so it is possible to lose weight and eat white rice, white bread, and other foods that a lot of people at 3FC would say to stay away from. If you don’t feel “well” you won’t feel up to exercising. I hope that you are able to find a healthy balance of diet and exercise; you’ll find lots of support here at 3FC.

-Samantha

[willba3]

Hello! and I hear you.....
I have done every diet out there....I was obsessed with thin....If I got fat I would fast......After my third child 8 months ago the weight packed on and has not come off....I now noticed that after I had her, I was hording food....and my hips have seen it and I am a double digit jelly belly.....I find that I am unhappy at this weight however just decided that my eating habits have to change.....I guess I am even a bit depressed which does not help.....

Don't worry though we are here and we will do it together...even from afar!