Searsha 21 days abstinent, checking in after holidays.
Hi to all on the OA forum,
Searsha here checking in. Have been away from home for a badly needed holiday in the west of Ireland; loved the 'away from it all' location but was very very nervous about my abstinence.
Even the word 'holiday or vacation' can trigger me into overeating.
I can't believe that I can say I am now 21 days abstinent from the insanity of compulsive overeating!!! I am so happy that I am still in the solution. I felt the spirit of this loop with me, even though I could not go online. I'm so grateful for you people.
Traditionally, I would be thrown by the lack of routine. I would throw caution to the wind and say - what the ****, I'm on holiday, eating is part of that, I'll have lots of treats and get back on track soon as I'm home.
OA works guys. There was definitely a Higher Power in my holiday luggage!
To be honest, the programme kicked in before I left. My decision to go at all was based on the fact that I'd be in great company with very very positive friends who know me well.
My best friend has issues around food and has recently discovered a good spiritual path of her own, which seems to work. So at least I knew I'd have one person 'on board' committed to making a good food plan every day. We worked together and as a result we ate healthily and well. Funny enough, we were part of a group, and found that the others seemed attracted by the healthy options in our fridge.
It wasn't always easy. The little town was in festival mode, so you were tripping over the hot food stalls with all those aromas chasing you down the street!! But I quickly found that my vacation was so so enhanced by good food. Dancing is a big part of the festival, and I danced my socks off, morning noon and night!! Well, noon and night! I hiked and swam and knew that all the veg and home food was fuelling my energy. So that made it easier to resist the HUGE URGE of the convenience food stalls. I suddenly loved how good food made me feel. It was not about weight!!!
I had to keep the OA slogans close to my heart - HALT as in Hungry, angry, lonely or tired - late nights were tough, they trigger me, no question, so I bowed out of activities a bit and got a good book and a good bed!!
I also attended some AA meetings and had my OA literature for the mornings.
This is very much a daily programme for me. I'm home now and settled back at work - and am amazed at how easy the transition was compared to how it was. When I was in 'bad food land', I'd binge even MORE after a holiday just because it was over!! Talk about living in a vicious cycle!
I know it all went well, but I am deeply aware I'm in very very early recovery. My food plan is still taking shape. I'm working more towards connecting to more f2f contact. Yesterday, Saturday, I attended the most wonderful OA meeting here in town. I was blown away by the level of recovery and the warmth of the people. I got some numbers and hope I'm on my way to finding a sponsor. It's trial and error in that some meetings just sit better with me than others - I think now I have found 'my anchor group'.
I'm really seeking truth regarding good food for me. It'd be too easy to just pluck some concepts from the air, make a very rigid plan only to set myself up for failure. I think BALANCE is the key for me that will keep me free from obsession. That and finding ways to love being in my day that do not revolve around food.
Wishing you all a lovely Sunday. Thanks for this forum - it was great 'catching up' on the posts.
Love Searsha xxx
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