When i was 250, i had no idea i was THAT big. i mean, i saw the numbers on the scale, but my brain just didn't register what my body REALLY loked like to others. It wasn't until i had a picture taken at a formal event that i finally KNEW. i saw it. i was trying on dresses for this event and not understanding why i wasn't fitting into the smaller sizes. In the end i had to take a size 22, and was humiliated at having to do so. i went to this event thinking i was beautiful in my emerald evening gown.
When the picture arrived i was excited to see it. And when i saw myself in the picture...at first i thought it was someone else...and then when i realized, i was crushed. i felt soooo awful about me.
You're not the only one. I gained my weight fairly quickly about 7-8 years ago. My highest was 233. I STILL don't feel fat. I don't get it. I've seen pictures, I've been amazed that is me but somehow I still think of myself as a thin person. Each time I look at a picture I'm amazed!?!? I really don't get it.
I was in denial..I always would look at myself and say "Well I'm not THAT big"..I really thought my body was awesome LOL..Then I started seeing pictures of myself..and I looked like an absolute gluttonous cow.
I was in serious denial -- I gained a massive amount of weight in a short period of time (100 pounds in less than a year), so I wasn't aware that I had actually gotten THAT big until I saw a picture of myself on spring break in New Orleans. I was shocked. But that still wasn't a wake up call. I didn't start my journey until 50 more pounds and 5 years later. I was still in denial about being THAT big, even though I couldn't fit into my bathtub OR the seatbelts in many cars (especially older ones).
I'm right there with you. My highest weight was somewhere in the 180's. I was completely oblivious. Then I saw a picture one day - it was at a bridal shower and I was eating cake. I didn't even realize it was me. I think I cried.
Even today, I look in the mirror and I look the exact same to myself as I did when I was 140, 160, 180. So nowadays, if I want to get of an idea of how I 'really' look, I make my husband take a picture of me with the digital camera. That way I know I'm not deluding myself.
I think I know, but I don't *get it*, if that makes any sense.
I see my jiggles when I get out of the shower every morning, I see it in pictures, I feel it when I'm smushed beside people on the bus every day... but I think I'm still waiting for it to really sink in. I think I've put on this mask that "I can't be *that* fat" when... I am.
I think it's common, but that everyone has they're "aha" moment in a different way.
Nope, I stayed at home in jogging pants or wore scrubs to work. I only ever noticed if I had to get dressed up and then .... I'd go back home and put my baggy sweats back on and go back into denial. because gosh! there certainly were bigger people around than me and I was over 40 after all
I was totally in denial. I too didn't realize how big I was until I started seeing pictures.
SusanB: I totally agree with you. I also usually wear comfy clothes around the house and scrubs to work. Then when I went out into the real world I would feel so depressed that I looked like crap in regular clothes. I am starting to get over that now.
I know how you feel. Sometimes I will leave the house thinking hey I look pretty good today. But then I see a picture and I think How on earth did anyone let me leave the house. When I was in high school I weighed about 175 lbs right before my prom and I thought then that I was huge because then every girl was a tooth pick and i had curves. Now when I see pictures of me then I think I would give anything to be that size again because I really took it for granted. Crazy how life happens!!
When I was in high school I weighed about 175 lbs right before my prom and I thought then that I was huge because then every girl was a tooth pick and i had curves. Now when I see pictures of me then I think I would give anything to be that size again because I really took it for granted.
Absolutely how I feel!
I've known, sure - my whole life. I've never felt slender, or even acceptable. Certainly not attractive. What I wouldn't give to only have those 10 pounds of extra baggage I carried in high school, now!
Like a lot of folks out there, I don't look in the mirror and think positive thoughts... I look and say, "Well, I don't look THAT bad, do I...?" - but I feel like even that is a lie. Both situations (the OP's and this one) are pretty unhappy.
Up until a few weeks ago I was still telling my husband "I make fat look good" then I saw pictures. Multiple chins, huge arms, I look pregnant. Actually I think I looked better when I was pregnant. It's weird though because looking in the mirror I can somehow warp the view but a picture doesn't lie.
When I reached my highest weight I gained it at uni. I didnt have scales in my house at all but I KNEW I had put on weight - but as I said in another thread I wear the full islamic dress and so because it is loose and extremely flattering I couldn't see when I'd put on weight BUT other people could. If I was nude I didn't think I looked that bad until I was walking past it and saw my thigh PROFILE I almost fell over. I just COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MASSIVE my thigh was, it was just such a shock. Anyways I got over that and prob had a burger or pizza to make up for the shock lol. Even now I think I look fab when I look in the mirror and would be happy to maintain at my weight now BUT if I get a photograph I'm like OMG... I DEFINATELY NEED TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT. There is just nothing like a photograph for a rude wakeup call.
oh yeah....photos are a definate wake up call. I still can't figure out why at 154 when i look in the mirror i like what i see, but let me take a photo...i am a beached whale!!!! Seriously, i see all the rolls that i still have around my midsection...not to mention thunder thighs!!! But i try not to get too down on myself because i know everyday i am making changes to change my shape. But i always thought i looked great at 196....until i saw a picture. so what did i do?? stay out of the pictures!! not the best idea i suppose. I don't know what finally made me decide to lose weight. Just that i hated taking my kids to sixflags and barely fitting into the seats in kiddie land (yes, i know i'm not a kid, but parents are suppose to be able to ride with their kids on these rides). And then in january, watching an older woman walking at lunch just kinda hit me...I can do that. And that sparked the beginning of my weight loss.
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