A hare met a tortoise one day and made fun of him for the slow and clumsy way in which he walked.
The tortoise laughed and said, "I will run a race with you any time that you choose."
"Very well," replied the hare, "we will start at once."
The tortoise immediately set off in his slow and steady way without waiting a moment or looking back. The hare, on the other hand, treated the matter as a joke and decided to take a little nap before starting, for she thought that it would be an easy matter to overtake her rival.
The tortoise plodded on, and meanwhile the hare overslept herself, with the result that she arrived at the winning-post only to see that the tortoise had got in before her.
Moral: Slow and steady wins the race.
This comes from a book handed down from my grandmother to my mother to me. The book is so old it doesn't have a copyright date or an author/editor's credit.
That fable has been the motivation for us turtles for about two years. Someone on the ancient WW forum mentioned the fable and I discovered it was very motivational for me. I talked about it in posts and other people said that the tortoise philosophy worked for them, too. So, I started a thread for us turtle types.
We work toward accepting that our bodies have a natural speed of weight loss when we choose to live a healthy life, instead of "going on a diet". Many of us have experienced "the diets" as go on/lose weight-- go off/ gain the weight plus more back.
We choose to perservere with each choice we make throughout the day. We believe that choosing to be slow, steady turtles helps us to learn the skills we need to learn in order to not only lose the weight, but keep it off and become the healthiest people we can be.
So, welcome to all who realize that losing and maintaining a weight loss is a lifestyle change. And who want support as we all learn the skills we need to successfully make the changes that will allow us to reach our goals.
Lauren, you made some good points about my red light food post. I didn't mean to imply, however, that I think people with red light food lists were weak. Your post shows that your way of handling food isn't in any way related to what I intended to discuss. You do handle your foods the way that you need to in order to be successful. And the fact that your list changes shows that you aren't treating food the way I was thinking about when I wrote that post.
I was thinking about treating certain foods as "totally and forever off-limits" because I "can't" handle them and will "never" be able to handle them. The attitude toward certain foods in that statement is what I was referring to. My point was that as long as we have "forbidden food" lists (which may be what I should have called them) we set ourselves up to overeat due to deprivation.
I was just thinking that if we could learn to take food as it comes and do the best we can with it, without all of the guilt and beating ourselves up that "forbidden food lists" cause when we eat (or overeat) that food, we would find it easier to be successful. I've read posts written by people who feel guilty and beat themselves up and go off program if they eat food from that list, even if they're not overeating or bingeing. That's what I was getting at as being counterproductive to our weight loss efforts.
We had the M&M's at our party, too. But our hostess put them in such small bowls that no one felt comfortable taking more than a few because there would be none for anyone else! Even the kids (mostly teens) were frugal with them!
It's interesting that you feel a little uncomfortable when people notice your weight loss. I'm glad it's a nice uncomfortable feeling, though. You're doing so well. I hope you find that balance. I can see how not being in balance between sticking with it and focusing and worrying about when you'll get there is a big issue.
I've been facing that lately because the scale isn't budging much these days. But my pants are getting really loose in some places, but not enough in others so I can fit into a smaller size, yet. I have to keep reminding myself that the loose jeans are just as important as the number on the scale. I don't wear a belt at home (when I'm alone)so I have to keep pulling them up. It helps to remind me of the whole picture.
Mousie, your posts were very thought-provoking. I love the way you're handling your life since you've started dealing with food in a different way. I think you will find that in the long run, what you're doing will help you reach all of your goals.
I understand so much of what you've been saying because I felt exactly that way during the past, extremely stressful year. I'm doing a lot better, so I can say that time can heal a lot of wounds, especially if you spend the time seeking answers. Good luck to you! We're here for you in any way we can help. Even just keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
It's so cool to be able to communicate with such thoughtful women. You have all helped me so much. And you're welcome, with regard to my starting the thread.
Last weekend was a mix of successes and disasters. I did the best I could with what I had, but I have a plan for how to make next year better. I know what caused the problems I faced and two simple things can fix it so next year isn't a repeat of this year. I did great with exercise and water. But food was difficult. I didn't eat too much, but my choices ended up being too limited and I couldn't get the balance of foods and more frequent meals that I need, especially during PMS. But, as I said, I did the best I could and I'm back on track today.
The party was a blast, as usual. I saw some people I haven't seen in years and some I only see at the party. We catch up on our lives and sing carols. It's the best carol singalong you'll ever hear because most of the people there are musicians, either accomplished amateurs or pros. What's fun is that it's not a performance so you just sing whatever part you want and no one cares what you sound like.
Gotta go. I need to do a little cooking and a lot of writing.
Lin, I have this mental image of tiny little salt cellars (is that how you spell it?) with two or three M&M's each, covering the tables. No one wants to be the one who empties one, so they sit there forlorn and lost! Awwww.
I also have this highly amusing image of you cooking, stirring something with one hand, while holding your pants up with the other. I hope it's time for you to get new pants soon, you deserve them!
I'm working through the "good food/bad food/red light food" thing also. The minute I tell myself it's a red light food, I can't handle it. Interesting. But if I just shrug and accept that it's a yummy food but not one I particularly want right now, I don't crave it. Sometimes I think the way my brain works is out to get me!
Yesterday was fine until (that dreaded "until") I tried to tackle a paper and a bunch of reading/review for my final today. Right now I'm not trying to limit myself at all, I'm trying very very hard to stay away from rules I can obsess about, I'm just noticing what is happening. So, cashews happened yesterday.
You know, I just noticed this right now, sitting here...my Monster Sweet Tooth hasn't been around for days. I've not had a sweet, like candy or sweet snacks or donuts or "treats" in days...hmm.
Interesting.
So anyway. Goal for today is to take my final, turn in my paper, go to the gym after class for an hour, and do an errand for DH at some point. Goal for today is also to be hungry when I eat, and eat what I really want. I'm not hungry yet, so I haven't had breakfast. Unusual, I usually wake up hungry. Anyway, wish me luck!
Mousie,
I often had trouble with foods while I was studying, especially for exams. I figured out for me that I was trying to stuff in knowledge and when that didn't work as quickly as I wanted, I'd stuff food in my mouth instead. HMMMMMM not exactly good for knowledge or waistline.
Good luck with your studying and now I need to catch up on the other posts.
Judy
234/209/199soon!
Hey turtles guess what! I had a surprise hour in the middle of my day today (last women's studies class is done! YES! I HATED that class) and it was at lunchtime, right? But I checked with myself, and I wasn't hungry, so I *didn't* eat! I had a drink, but that was what my body wanted. Not lunch. I had lunch two hours later, when my stomach started growling.
It's the small victories that are the most valuable.
Thank you, Judy, for your cheers. It's always the little things that undermine us, so they're the greatest achievements!
Odd eating day yesterday. Woke up not hungry so ate a later (say, 8am) breakfast, not hungry at lunch so a later lunch (say, 2pm), not hungry for dinner so no dinner at all. With a workout at about 3. My body is NEVER going to make sense, and I should just accept that.
I have a dentist appointment in about 40 minutes, and needless to say I'm terrified! I think it'll be okay, it's just an exam, no work being done today, but I'm still terrified of dentists. Oral surgeons are okay, they just knock you out. My...what's the word? otorhinolaryngologist?...ear-nose-throat doctor was cool, but that's cuz he only worked on my ear. Had he gone near my mouth, his name would have been mud!
Anyway, lunch with DH and a workout after. Then I have no obligations of ANY sort til monday, when finals start! 8am monday I perform my piano piece, then take a kinesiology final. Wheeee, this is fun...
Dear Gals,
I have had such a good week. I banked 25 points and have been so careful. Now I'm glum because when I weighed myself at home this morning, I hadn't budged a bit. Yes, i've had a cold all week and I've had some Coldeze drops, but I hope they won't throw off a weight loss. I really am hoping that I'll lose at WW, but I'm not too hopeful.
Egads, I don't mind being a turtle, but this is a little much. Thanksgiving is a long way away now and I feel like I'm trying hard, doing the program, and running in place.
Well,
everyone--I loved your conversation about red light foods. I really get what LIn was saying--basically it's the self-fulfilling prophecy idea that if I think I can't handle a particular food, I won't. Very true. I also know what Lauren is saying because right now I find I can't keep some products in the house. Even those neat Quaker rice snacks are too tempting to me--even when I divide them into packages for one point I find I eat more of the packages than I intended. So--for now they're not at home. My red light foods change from time to time; sometimes I can handle ice cream, sometimes I can't. etc. etc. etc.
So--Lin, keep on sharing those theories. I find them to be very helpful in analyzing what I am doing and how I approach food and how much stock I put into food and what other needs besides nourishment food provides. Please excuse that sentence. I hope you understand my meaning.
Mousie, enjoy your weekend.
Lin,
I am so happy you got to sing. How fabulous. I love to sing and don't have a group to sing with. I'm not very good and whatever voice I had is long gone, but i love to sing anyway. Glad your party was so much fun and I'm laughing out loud about the M&M's trailing you and tracking you like an agent out to pounce on you unexpectedly and force you to indulge. Way to go that you didn't. M&M's are a red light food for me right now, but I will buy a small pack, have 10 and throw the rest out. That works for me right now.
Lauren,
How are you dealing with your fabulous loss? Let us know how you're doing.
Gotta run--everyone take care, feel well, and keep on doin' this.
Judy
234/209/199soon
You ladies are so funny! Mousie, I love your little images based on my posts. They made me laugh.
Sounds like your approach to food is really helping. Congratulations on being successful at learning to listen to your body.
I noticed that when I stopped thinking about good/bad foods, etc. I wanted a lot more veggies than I had been eating. And a lot fewer sweets. I developed a sweet tooth in response to being told I couldn't eat them. The pattern started in late childhood and early adolescence when my brothers used my constant dieting as a reason why they should get the last piece of whatever dessert there was and I shouldn't have any. I didn't want to be dieting. I wanted to eat the dessert.
Anyway, when I got out on my own, I overate that stuff for years just because I could have it and no one would take it away. I was in charge. For the first time in my life no one else was telling me what or how much to eat. (Except when I was following a weight-loss program, usually whatever the current WW program was.)
My family's atttude when I was growing up is one of the main reasons I refuse to deprive myself of food. Once I realized what was happening, I was able to take a more sane approach to sweets and figure out how much I really wanted. The answer was usually none or a few bites, depending on whether or not it was of the quality that I like. I won't eat food that isn't up to snuff. I don't feel satisfied and end up wanting something else, too.
I see the end is in sight for you regarding your classes and finals. Good luck on your exams. I hope you have planned a real treat for yourself after finals are over. A long bubble bath with candles and your favorite trashy novel. Or something special with your dh. Or . . .?
Judy, congratulations on having such a good week. Don't worry about the scale. Sometimes what we do doesn't show up for another week or even two. Our bodies don't operate on WW time. They operate on their own time. So, hang in there and work on having another great week. The reward will show up.
Want to hear a funny M&M story, since we've been talking about them so much? Well, my youngest son is a real Jack Nicholson fanatic. In "As Good As it Gets" he plays a character who's a writer with obsessive-compulsive disorder, as you may remember. One of the props is a bunch of jars of M&M's sorted by color. My oldest son is planning to get a ton of M&M's and 5 jars and separate out the colors in the same way for my youngest son either for his high school graduation or for his birthday. Isn't that a kick? Good thing I don't have a problem with that particular candy!
It's TOM and I had one very bad day with PMS. I was really scared that it was the start of a bad week, because that has been my past experience with this particular pattern of PMS symptoms. Thanks, I'm sure, to my supplements, it was only one day. I know that had I handled the weekend better (which I most likely would have if it hadn't been PMS), I may not have had such a horrible day. But I'm not writing to beat myself up, but to report that I found myself back OP as soon as I could and doing fine. I think this is finally starting to become a real habit. YAY!
I'm not walking for a couple of days, though. I will get back to it once the worst days are over. I've noticed, though, that I tend to eat less when I don't exercise. So, it balances out.
I never reported my weigh-in this week. I was up a pound, but I didn't record it because it's PMS water retention. Recording those hormonal ups and downs get me really discouraged. So, I'm leaving my weight the same until post-TOM weigh-in.
Lin,
Super smart not to record a weight gain that isn't a weight gain.
Glad you're right on track even with PMS--not fun, but it's great that you're pulling all of this together. Also great that you're able to analyze what happened in your past and tie it in to your weight gain. Finding the cause of all this can be so empowering.
Isn't it wonderful that we can give each other support and kindness knowing very much what we're all going through? I wouldn't be so ridiculous as to say I know exactly how any of you feel at any one time, but having struggled with weight for so long and being so unhappy about how I look for so long certainly entitles me to understand the feelings we all have about ourselves and this WW journey.
I am also grateful to WW scientists for figuring out that people need to not be deprived and scheduled and routined to death to lose weight. Counting points does work.
You guessed it! The WW scale was favorable and I had a 1.2pound loss. I am thrilled. I am at my official 10% weight. When I lose 2 more pounds, I'm at 25 pounds down--I got a magnet for that last year at Jan. 4th. or so. *Then* at that point I am in virgin WW poundage. I am doing this and I'm so glad. I'm annoyed as anything that I let this year go by without doing better, I'm annoyed that I gained back weight while going to mtgs., etc. and I'm disappointed in myself. But I have to take a deep breath and say, "Judy, don't get disappointed now. The time to be disappointed was when you were gaining the weight. Now you're on track and doing this, so be proud."
So--love to you all and take it easy. We're all doing this!
Judy
234/208/199soon
Hooray, Judy! Now, see why we should stay off those scales during the week? I'm preaching to myself here. My scales showed me up all week, but at my weigh-in at home and at WW, I maintained. So now I'm just trying to stay away from the scales, especially since PMS looms.
I've definitely had more trouble staying within my lower point range. I've managed it for the most part -- last week I ended up with about 15 banked points, which were all activity points. That means I ended up eating all my points. Which, of course, is why I didn't lose.
There's much to say -- what great discussions we're having here, and I also want to share what we learned this week at our meeting -- but I'm out of time for tonight. I'll check in again.
Lauren, I can so sympathize with the "so much to say" thing, I know I'm going to forget something! Adjusting to a new points range is tricky, be nice to yourself about it. Keep in mind, too, that there's the mental side: this part of you is thinking "oh no, less food!" But try to keep it in perspective. Say you went from 24-31 to 22-29 (123 Success Points). On 24-31, you generally had about 27 points a day. So, on 22-29 you can STILL have 27 points a day, and still bank. So, nothing's changed!
Judy, congratulations! Your body was probably in shock from being sick. When you're sick your body needs more water (flushes out more toxins), you were probably retaining a bit. Virgin fat terratory here you come!
As for being angry at yourself for what happened this year (or what didn't happen), I'm going to tell you a story. Probably I've told it before, but anyway. When I was just out of the hospital, I went through the predictable "why me, my life is ruined" phase. My mom (gotta love her) sat me down and gave me this lecture:
"You have two choices. You can be miserable and angry, and you'll still be hurt. You can be happy and hopeful, and you'll still be hurt. The hurt part will not change. You're in charge of how your life goes otherwise. Now, go to your room and scream and cry and get it out. I don't want to see you for two days."
So I went to my room and screamed and cried and slept a lot (staying awake for 4 hours at a stretch was a major achievement then). I decided to try to be cheerful. I was, and I am, still hurt. It's all perspective. You can be disappointed and angry and in the process learn not to trust yourself, or you can accept it and move on. That this year happened is not going to change.
Now, I don't mean to lecture! If I'm bugging you, just tell me.
Lin, if you want to save him some frustration, check to see if they have Candy Depots up there. They have them down here, so maybe, still CA, right? Anyway, Candy Depot has this wall of M&Ms in all different colors, already sorted. My secret santa person loved blue and she loved M&Ms, so I got her a pound of different shades of blue!
Thinking maybe my trousers are a bit baggier. Maybe. But I'm staying off the scale, and I'm trying very hard not to be obsessive. I have figured out that I've got two weeks until my pills MUST be refilled and I MUST go to the doctor, so I've got two weeks to work on myself and try to make that number not matter so much.
Interesting observations, last night. We had the gym Christmas Party at a pizza place, and as a bunch of fitness-people I took advantage of the chance to watch everyone eating. Everyone indulged themselves (I was the only one who didn't have dessert, even, I had no milk pills with me and the dessert involved ice cream). The thing I noticed that was notable, though, is that Katia, an absolutely exquisitely gorgeous size-4 blonde personal trainer, ate about twice the amount I did! And I had 2 slices of the cheese-and-tomato pizza and a scoop of rotini with alfredo sauce! She had two glasses of wine, two PACKED plates of food, and dessert--and she's TINY! Makes me hate her even more. Nah, I don't hate her, Katia's cool. She's a sweetheart, too. But it was interesting to see all these fitness people eating.
I didn't have salad, I had salad at lunch and I was freezing, so I didn't want to make inside* my body cold too. Skipped all the cold stuff. Everyone asked me about it, too--apparently it's a sin not to eat available salad if you're dining with fitness people, even if you don't want it. But I didn't want it, so I didn't have it. And I didn't have the dessert, either--again, Lauren, I don't like what ice cream does to me so I chose not to have it. It's not a BAD food, I just don't care for how it reacts with my system. The reason I could get away with the pizza and the pasta is that there was not much cheese and barely any sauce, and I can handle that amount of lactose. If I had had ice cream, I would have passed what I could handle.
I've babbled long enough, I'm off. Last Philosophy lecture and last Physiology lecture today. Oh, I got all my classes for next semester. 21 hours in class a week, 17 units, 5 classes. There's a chance that Akina can slip me into the 2nd semester piano class for majors, too, even though I'm not a major, so here's hoping!
Lauren,
I understand not having time to post. Egads--there's not enough time for anything right now. Luckily my at work computer is back and running on the internet and on my break or lunch time I can hit the keys to respond. This 3fatchicks keeps me on program.
I'm so glad you didn't gain at your official WW WI. Hooray! As far as the other stuff, this will all fall into place for you and you've been doing great. I'm guessing as soon as PMS is over, you'll have your scale reward.
Mousie,
You'd never make me angry. I understand completely the need to get on with it and get over it. I think that I beat myself up a lot needlessly and I'm learning to cope with that. Also--I needed to write about the disappointment that I have with year 2001 and in writing, I vent and then get up and over it. Hope that's okay with you all.
Lin,
I love the M&M saga. That would be so much fun to do and to receive.
I am doing well. My class made gingerbread houses today with a wild and glorious assortment of candies. I looked at them, said one point each and decided not to indulge. Boy am I glad I did that! Now the room smells disgusting from an overabundance of white frosting and the craving to have some yummy candies has passed. My aim for this week again is to keep as low point as I can each day, especially with low point dinners. We've been really busy and my dh has brought home Blimpie salads--our local guy makes an equivalent of a BLT without the bread and a lot more salad. It's pretty tasty and only 3 points for the three bacon strips. That serves as a filling dinner for me and I'll have one or two pieces of Lite rye bread later in the night for one point.
Another thing I've done this year is to have substitues of food for what I used to stock. Brummel and Brown yogurt "butter" or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Lite replace the real stuff, I buy lite breads solely, etc. This works for me because I am a volume eater , so the foods I eat need to be fewer in points.
Gals, I'm doing this! Our WW leader had three words on the board yesterday: Climbing, Camping, and Quitting. She asked us which we wanted to do over the holidays saying that any choice would be okay depending on the results we wanted. She explained that climbing means we're OP, getting good results and flying high with enthusiasm. Camping means coasting a bit and choosing to maintain while easing up on program a little--maybe not journaling, etc., slowing up on exercise--relaxing a bit. And quitting means flat out quitting--no mtgs., no counting points, no more thinking about choices, etc. with an expected weight gain.
HMMMMMM--food for thought.
Well, I've gotta run, but thought I'd chime in while I had the time.
Everyone do well and enjoy the journey.
Judy
234/208/199# soon I'm using the smug smilie to remind myself that in the past when I talk diet too much and I get too smug, I have fallen apart--so the smug means that I have to watch out, plan and prepare and enjoy the ride!
Oh, Judy, go ahead and vent! We all do it, I can go on at length. I didn't mean to imply that your words were silly, nothing of the sort! I just thought my story might give you food for thought. That, and I love my mom, so I like to share her wisdom.
Youve recognized what works for you, that you're a volume eater, and now it'll just take time to make it all fall into place. Good luck, we're right here with you.
Go ahead and vent. That's what we're here for. I started this thread with the idea that people should post whatever they need to post. Better to post it than to eat it, right?
Now, here's some food for thought. If you hadn't done your best this year, where would you be? I know you aren't where you wanted to be, weight-wise. None of us turtles are. But all of us, including you, have learned a fantastic amount about what we each need to do to lose the rest of the weight we need to lose. I think all of us turtles have had a very successful year. YAY for US!
Judy, thanks for the gingerbread house story. You reminded me that my oldest son wants to make gingerbread houses. I need to get out and clean up my house mold and find the recipe and get the rest of the stuff. It's really cool. It makes tiny houses so everyone can make one.
Mousie, lecture away. I loved your story. I wish my mother had the kind of wisdom to pass on that your's does. My mother's idea of wisdom is "lose weight and everything will be perfect." One of the lies I had to get rid of before I could handle weight loss.
Reading your posts has me appreciating the flexibility of this new approach WW is taking. Judy, a volume eater, makes different choices from Mousie, a vegetarian. And the gourmet chef with the picky palate, me, makes still different choices. Lauren has religious issues during Lent to deal with that change her food choices. And we all can do this program. Is it any wonder that we are able to succeed? We can do what we need to do for our own personalities, bodies, and lifestyles.
Mousie, I loved the tale of the fitness folks at the buffet. Now, contrast it with the WW at the buffet. Many of them complain that people push high calorie food on them. If I gotta have food pushers, I'd rather they push salads! But, I have never understood why people think my plate is their business. If I were a three-year-old and they were my parent, they'd have a reason to care what I eat and it would make sense. I ignore those folks. Or give them the LOOK. I do it well. And it shuts them up, without me being deliberately rude.
Lauren, if you're maintaining and it's PMS, you probably have nothing to worry about. You'll get rid of that half pound, plus more, when the water goes away. You're doing really great. Don't let the scale get you down.
I think the scale is our friendliest enemy.
I did my walk today. Found a really good sale on some Christmas stuff. And I have to save a bit for a couple of other things I need.
My food is going well, too. I need to go and eat my afternoon mini meal. My stomach is not happy with me taking so long to get to it, but AOL lost my connection and I had to rewrite this post.
Turtle Club #43
I'm using the smug smilie to remind myself that in the past when I talk diet too much and I get too smug, I have fallen apart--so the smug means that I have to watch out, plan and prepare and enjoy the ride!
