[futurepixie]

Disclaimer: I am probably overreacting. But this falls in with our Keeping it a Secret discussion and ugh, it rubbed me the wrong way.

First of all my boss is a good man. He is a basically kind man with the best of intentions- said intentions frequently get him nowhere- poor guy. But still- he has a sweet tooth, and likes to bring in junk food. He buys doughnuts, muffins, and stuff for us and I have partaken in one doughnut and a half a muffin in three months. Yep. You could say my habits have changed. I can honestly say that most of the time I don't want that stuff either.

Well today he brings in cookies, and asks me about them three times. I didn't have one. Finally he looks at me and says, "Do you want me to not bring them back so you can avoid temptation?" with this LOOK on his face like what he meant to say was "Do you want me to get these away from you since you obviously can't control yourself, fatty?"

I KNOW he meant well. I KNOW he was trying to be helpful. I have never told him I was on a diet, but i know that my coworker (his daughter) has. I KNOW I shouldn't be aggravated, but it sure feels like a backhanded insult, you know? Like I am an invalid or something. These days I feel great about the fact that if I want a cookie, I will have one stinkin cookie, and it will be on plan. If I don't want a cookie enough to work it in, then I won't have the stupid cookie! So don't take that away from me and treat me like I can't make my own decisions about stupid cookies!!! Gah!

So, what is an appropriate response to someone who tries to "help" a bit too much? And the Keeping it a Secret thread is what ithought of right away and said "See! This is why people don't tell!"

[kaplods]

I guess I don't get it, as you obviously did fine "avoiding temptation," at least three times. If you meant by his look, that he seemed irritated with you, was he irritated that you turned them down, or was there something in the way you turned them down that he might have interpreted as annoyance or anger with him for bringing in the treats? I think the only way to find out is to ask him.

[futurepixie]

I guess the annoying thing is offering to not tempt me while waving a box of cookies in my face. And it is sort of embarrassing to have a male boss say something about your diet when you haven't said anything about it to him at all. I tried my hardest to be polite and nonchalant, but I don't like the feeling of having people KNOW I am on a diet- like they are watching what I eat, and when they are naturally thin people who don't watch what they eat, it is like being healthier is some sort of affliction that you need their help with. Mostly just embarrassment I guess.

[mehappy]

GOOD FOR YOU BOY!! I know I should probably join you bossy-poo but not really in the mood now to jog. Feel the pressure to be thin when i'm in sales and sadly i'm far away and up until this time getting farther away from any possible view of a goal. I know what you mean - my husband today finaly said for the first time - you should do something about your weight - like what hun - join a gym - but you said they cost to much- get up early and exercise - but you moved the bike into the basement so you wouldn't have to see it and when i talk about quitting smoking - you say soon, very soon. So yes support is always great when you are giving it to someone else but when you are the one receiving it - short of sratching their eyeballs out - there is not much you can do - except mentally retreat to your happy place and move on about your day - and hopefully it does not kill your momentum.

[kaplods]

It sounds like it might be something to talk to him about, alone. What you eat, when and how much is up to you, whether you're dieting or not, and maybe a gentle reminder will make the point. Telling him you do not have a problem with him bringing in treats, but you do have a problem with being pressured to eat them, especially after you've politely declined or having him draw attention to what you are or aren't eating.

For some people, you have to spell it out.

[shrinkadink]

I can totally understand why his comment would rub you the wrong way ... it seems like a lot of people who aren't on WW or a different program just don't understand how the Food Police does not help! It's in the same vein of people giving you a strange look if you decide to use some Points on a dessert or appetizer in a restaurant, or people insisting you can't eat something because you're on a "diet". You're a grown-up, you know what you can and can't have, and no one besides you has any right to pass judgement on that! And it's belittling for someone to imply that you need to be saved from your own temptation.

I can think of a few responses to people like this:
"Actually, if I wanted that, I could fit that into my program."
"WW doesn't tell you what you can & can't eat."
"Thanks, I am fully capable of making my own food decisions."
"It's ok, I'm not really tempted by that kind of stuff."

Or you could just choose to ignore any bossy / food police undertones and say "Thanks" for him getting rid of it. At least if he gets it into his head that you're not going to partake of these kinds of snacks, maybe less of them will find their way into the office.

[Country Charm]

Well, sometimes MEN just-don't-get-it! I know he was definitely trying to be supportive but I can see why it aggravated you. I have the same problem here. I just ask that they put the "goodies" in another office and I use the "out of sight - out of mind" theory. Good Luck!