Can't remember if I posted this before...

In my next life; I wanna be a female bear...

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup . I wanna be a bear.


Ok now back to the Canada talk :)

Bear-y funny! Thanks, Squeak!

Un-bear-ably! Let's hope the puns don't go any further!

Maybe we should start a PUN thread!

HEY!!! I think I AM a female bear!!!

I want to be a bear too! They get to eat a ton of blueberries and salmon (two of my favorites) and I don't recall that cubs require snowpants and an endless supply of mittens (cuz they keep getting LOST!).

And all she has to do is fix the male bear with a piercing look and I'll bet HE falls into line too!

Lidian:)

Yeah! And you get to go around bear naked all the time ;)

Bumper Stickers for Ladies

Behind every successful woman is herself.
================================================== =
Oh my God, I think I'm becoming the man I wanted to marry!
================================================== =
Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and
in high heels.
================================================== =
A woman is like a teabag...you don't know how strong she is until you put her
in hot water.
================================================== ==
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.
================================================== ==
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
================================================== =
GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
================================================== =
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
================================================== ==
DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
================================================== ===
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN.
================================================== ==Â
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
================================================== ===
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
================================================== ===
DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
================================================== ===
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
================================================== ==
I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE.
================================================== ===
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
================================================== ===
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
================================================== ==
And my favorite!
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
================================================== ===

Good ones, Flower. :)



A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have
to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five
years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father
says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like **** they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take
care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at
her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single
thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll
both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU
HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he
says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, that was good...