Reintroduction
 

My gmail account joyously announced activity on this thread and I clicked in like I hadn't been AWOL for weeks. Ha-loooo!

Single, disabled dyke mom to a precocious 4 1/2 yo daughter, living/laughing in Seattle, preparing for returning to college and med school at that.

Currently enjoying melting off each inch and pound for a healthy, mobile, functional body that will empower my dreams.

Did I say *SINGLE*, tell your friends. LOL

RW

Originally Posted by ResilientWoman:
Single, disabled dyke mom to a precocious 4 1/2 yo daughter, living/laughing in Seattle, preparing for returning to college and med school at that.

Your goals are fantastic! Best of luck! :D (in school and in the dating waters, heh!)

Hey everyone !! Ok so I have a question and it might be silly but I'm gonna ask anyway. I'm from NY, about 30 mins outside Manhattan and my partner and I will be moving to FL, the Miami or Fort Lauderdale area. My question is....are there gay people in FL ? lol I mean I'm used to NY so I just want some comfort and knowing we won't be alone down there !! I know I'm just being crazy but it's a big move for us and I want us to be comfy....ya know ?

Hi! :) Lesbian over here

Hi! Well, um, I've always thought I was bi, probably because I was raised in a strict conservative household, so I was kind of raised to think of being gay as a "bad" thing ... I've been attracted to women since high school but I kind of figured I would end up with a man eventually because that's what I was "supposed" to do (my parents' words, not mine)... anyway, just very recently I'm starting to think I might be a lesbian, not bi. It seems like knowing which I am should be simple, but it isn't! Questioning it all can be such a pain in the you-know-what sometimes.

Anyway, hello to all of you. It's great knowing there are fellow GLBT people here. :)

Skyra, I was attracted to girls in grade school, but didn't date my first woman until I was 28! ;)

Best wishes on your questioning journey :)

;) coming out of the forum closet to say hi, girls, howyadoin?

yoo hoo
 

Hey girls I'm bi! Though, most days I think I could easily give up men all together ...

BerkshireGrl -- thanks for the reassurance! I appreciate it :)

Need to start over on the weight plan...
 

Hi Everyone!

I am here asking for ideas, support, conversation, just a connection with others. I am a 45 year old overweight lesbian.

I am happily partnered, and a mother to five children with three still at home.

Two years ago I lost over 40 pounds, and now I have gained it all back again and am so frustrated with myself for allowing that to happen. I feel like I am so fat I can't even stand myself anymore. I am 5'10 and currently at 235 pounds. I NEED to be at around 160 or so. This seems so overwhelming.

Also, I work from home and hardly ever socialize. I feel really isolated and I don't have much desire to get out and mingle with people when I look like this mess anyway. Today I got up and decided I HAVE to find a way to stop this cycle of weight problems that make me miserable. I feel like I am running out of time to enjoy life, and the weight is keeping me from that. So, if anyone on here wants to write and offer whatever... ideas, suggestions, encouragement, just a connection with the outside world with those who understand, I would appreciate it.

Thanks for listening... Barb

Hi Barb-

Welcome! I know what you mean. I was up and down and up and down, screwed my knees up, back problems, no energy, just really frustrating. The good news is that you are not running out of time, now is the perfect time! I was 46 when I finally grabbed the bull by the horns and decided to take control of my health.

Sounds like you are ready for that leap, making the decision to change your life. It really has to be a lifestyle change, not just a diet. Bet you know that already :) I needed to find a plan I could really live with the rest of my life. With a diabetic partner and a lifestyle that already included lots of vegetables and whole foods South Beach was a perfect fit for me. For other people Weight watchers, low carb, or calorie counting are the way to go. Check out some of the plan specific forums to see if something clicks for you. You may change along the way, add new tools or even whole new "diets" but you need something to start with. Something that adapts to a family will be important. I'm sure you don't need the frustration of cooking different dinners!

Once you settle into a plan you will want to start thinking about exercise and making a little time for you. One step at a time though, that's the best way to approach this journey IMO. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always happy to be a one woman cheering squad :)

Thanks Cyndi...

Yes, I will actually be cooking separate meals.. that is one of the reasons this is so hard. My kids will only eat certain things, they don't mind SOME healthy food, but pasta's and quick foods we have had a lot of. I know our eating habits and food choices are terrible. I can change mine, but putting a vegetable in front of these kids is a joke most of the time and I end up throwing them out. If I would have raised them from day one with learning to eat better it would have been easier. But, I had terrible habits I passed down. They are used to Hamburger Helper, canned pastas, and corn dogs, and now its hard to tell them after all this time we are suddenly changing everything.

How long ago did you meet your weight goal.... ?

The only thing I am trying to do now is eat no greasy stuff and walk on my treadmill every day and lift weights every other day and eat as many fresh fruits and vegetables as possible. That's about all I know how to do.. it worked the last time, I lost 40 pounds, then I just got burnt out on seeming like I could never have anything good, I said screw it, and gained it back as soon as I changed back to my old eating habits... which I now regret.

I appreciate SO MUCH having a one woman cheering squad! I'll take you up on that! Thanks!! Barb

Hi! *waves*

I'm... in love with a woman. I'm physically bisexual (er... maybe? I've never been attracted to women before I met her and I'm still not attracted to any women aside from her, they do nothing for me), but since I've never been in love with anybody else before, I wouldn't know if the same thing applies to emotions. Yeah... let's just call me bisexual. :dizzy:

My main focus is health and falling in love for the first time has been a big motivator to take better care of myself.

Hi ladies :)
I'm totally new to this website, came across it through google just this morning and joined. Looks awesome here.

Found this board/thread almost immediately- glad it exists!

I'm Jillian (31) and a lesbian. Currently loving someone who is out of reach for me, and unhappy about that... but working through it every day :)

I don't have a ton of weight to lose.. perhaps 15 to 20 pounds, but it's been a struggle for me for quite some time. Great to find it here for advice/support!

I've been away from this site for a while and regained some of my lost weight as a result! I'm Shannon (34) and a lesbian. My wife and I have been together for 6 years and legally married since August 2008. I'm trying to get back on the wagon and lose some more weight. I've been trying to get pregnant for over a year now without much luck so I'm hoping the weight loss will help. I'm glad I found this thread!


Shannon

It's nice to know if the Age 50 + group kicks me out (I just came out to them)
I have a home here.

I was a little concerned at first but everyone around here has been wonderful and very supportive. I know some of those 50s Chicks and look forward to joining the forum next year. Welcome :)

Welcome, everyone!

I'm happy to see this thread moving, I was worried I'd killed it when I showed up. :o

I hope it moves! I know I'm new here, but it'd be a great "home" to have!

Chicpanda (I'm so sorry I don't know your real name).. congrats on coming out :) I know, it's hard to do! But, I bet it felt so good.

Well... on the subject of coming out... I've been talking recently to a friend who is questioning and she said what she dreads most is the gossip from acquaintances and co-workers. She has very loving and open-minded close friends, it's the wider circle's gossip that scares her because she HATES being the center of attention and being the subject of gossip in general, let alone on a subject as personal as sexuality. (She lives in Hollywood, so it's not a violent reaction she fears or anything like that...) I recommended talking to someone who's already out and can maybe reassure her, but she's painfully shy. I figured I'd pick your brains instead.

There's nothing to out as far as I'm concerned since I have no idea where I fit in myself. The woman I love... I have no hope of her ever wanting a relationship with me. I'd be proud to come out as bisexual and in love with her so we can live openly as a couple but the couple part ain't happening and I'm only physically attracted to men (so far) so... *shrug* I can't be of much help to her. On top of all that, I'm a loner and have exactly one friend (and I'd never worry about her knowing, in fact she probably does already) and could care less about gossip and what people think of me. You guys have already gone through this experience so maybe I can use your words of wisdom to help my friend if she ever decides to take the leap or figures out if the emotional pull she feels towards women can be clearly defined somehow.

It's so hard to give advice, or say what we (I?) think she should do.. because, really.. only she can tell. I think it's a great idea to come out to someone that's already out.. that would probably make her feel more comfortable. The first time I came out I did the same, to a girl friend of mine who was out. And I actually did it through e-mail, because I was nervous. I was able to get down thoughts and tell her/someone... without feeling pressured, without seeing her face, etc. It's scary that first time! I've been out for 10+ years now, since my very early 20's.. and now when I have to tell someone, I do it with pride and confidence.. but, it wasn't like that in the beginning.

I know for *ME*, I can't hide. I felt this.. weight.. on my chest before I came out. I felt like I wasn't being true to me.. so it was something *I* had to do. But, I know some people can hide for a very long time and never come out.

It really depends on her. If she WANTS to come out, she should.. people might talk, sure.. but really.. it ends quickly. She just needs to find someone she's comfortable with. (I wish I knew her! lol.. I would help!!).

Good luck to her :)

Hi Ladies -
Been trying to find a support group to fit into but nothing really fit.
I'm Gay/Lesbian and single. I would love to date someone but I am seriously injured and am hoping to lose weight and heal.

*Waves to All*

Great thread! I'm 42, been with my partner for 9 wonderful years. I came out to my mother when I was 15 and she was horrified so I stayed quiet for quite a few years after that. Now I'm just sort of me... I don't go out of my way to tell people, but if they ask I tell the truth. My partner is butch and gets called "sir" often, so I think people just assume we're a str8 couple. So I guess that makes me a wimp in the LGBT society, but I'm just not the "in your face" type LOL

Nice to "meet" y'all. Oh and yes, there are gay people in FL, especially in the Miami area of South Beach. I live in West Central FL and there are gay people here too, but there are more in Miami.

I am married to a man - 10yrs in August, he lives in america, and i am in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman - 2.5yrs who i live with here in australia.

I consider myself sexually fluid - i go with the flow, what feels right and who feels right.

My husband has always know i prefer women, and has said he would rather share me than lose me.

My partner hates that i am still married, but understands why.

For the most part it works fine, i have always been honest with them both, but people often only believe what they want to believe so that can be kinda special. :)

gshilltani - my partner gets called sir all the time, drives her crazy.

Originally Posted by AriesBarb:
Hi Everyone!

I am here asking for ideas, support, conversation, just a connection with others. I am a 45 year old overweight lesbian.

I am happily partnered, and a mother to five children with three still at home.

Two years ago I lost over 40 pounds, and now I have gained it all back again and am so frustrated with myself for allowing that to happen. I feel like I am so fat I can't even stand myself anymore. I am 5'10 and currently at 235 pounds. I NEED to be at around 160 or so. This seems so overwhelming.

Also, I work from home and hardly ever socialize. I feel really isolated and I don't have much desire to get out and mingle with people when I look like this mess anyway. Today I got up and decided I HAVE to find a way to stop this cycle of weight problems that make me miserable. I feel like I am running out of time to enjoy life, and the weight is keeping me from that. So, if anyone on here wants to write and offer whatever... ideas, suggestions, encouragement, just a connection with the outside world with those who understand, I would appreciate it.

Thanks for listening... Barb

I'm 43, have an almost 5 yo. I was disabled from air pollution damage to my lungs before I became pregnant. I almost died 3 days after giving birth from a bad reaction to the emergency C-sec meds. I lost my entire 'village' when my daughter turned 2, became homeless for almost a year. Lost my job when my daughter turned 3 and have been unable to become employed again since then. Couch surfing with a semi-retired service dog, a cat and a kid in diapers is one definition of a living ****.

We've been re-homed, post tragedy, for 2 years now. We're alone, just the 2 of us, the ancient dog and the cat. We're only now stable enough in our lives to grieve the loss of 2 best friends/donors, my daughter's godmother, our home, our community connections, our queer inclusive neighborhood, the entire way of being in the world that ended suddenly and painfully.

I have mobility limitations that are getting less limiting all the time. We spend a lot of time at home, a lot of time active with the Seattle Area Lesbian Mom's group/Single Parenting Group in and around Seattle. We have a few good friends whom we retained through the crisis.

Being temporarily unable to work at anything other than my medical issues and raising/home-schooling my daughter, I get so isolated that I scare off strangers at the supermarket trying to relate socially in a quasi-Southern cultural way. I'm always up to chatting, emails, whatever.

I know that when I'm back in college, things will shift socially for the better. Till then, I'm lifting Kettlebells, practicing my Z-Health maneuvers, working out once a week with a RKC/Z-Health certified personal trainer who functions as a rehab specialist. We've been re-training, repairing, restoring my body for a year and it's gotten much stronger and more capable of daily life.

I wish for social access to people in my neck of the woods who would appreciate our family's passion for urban sustainability/alpacas/goats/chickens/etc.

Also my daughter is profoundly gifted and we often don't fit into the rhythms of the lives of those who aren't striving to reach their own potential. My daughter has a passion for learning multiple languages, architecture, Irish dancing, all things musical, lifting Kettlebells, soccer, dressage and especially her Mandarin culture.

I'm training to keep up, LOL. ;)

Bi here...but I like that sexually fluid description lol ...I've been married to my DH for 6 years but he doesnt know I'm bi, he knows i find girls attractive but to what extent he doesn't. I'm not ashamed to tell him , I just dont want him to be worried after being together I suddenly come out and now i wanna get with every girl in sight. It's been a long journey for me to come to this relization about myself and I'm more than okay with it , I'm just worried he would doubt my commitment to him if he suddenly found out I was attracted to women. Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to because it still feels like I've put this part of me away, never to be indulged or fulfilled. I'm very much in love and happy with my husband and would never want to be with out him, but I cant help but feeling I've denied myself something my entire life to this point and now I'll never know that part of myself fully......wow sad story for a happy thread, sorry ladies!!! :o

Welcome
 

Originally Posted by BeatnikMama:
Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to because it still feels like I've put this part of me away, never to be indulged or fulfilled. I'm very much in love and happy with my husband and would never want to be with out him, but I cant help but feeling I've denied myself something my entire life to this point and now I'll never know that part of myself fully......wow sad story for a happy thread, sorry ladies!!! :o

"To thine own self be true and it can'st not help but follow as the day doeth the night that then thou can'st be false to any(one)"

Most people attribute the second quote to Shakespeare but it was originally carved on the temple walls to the Goddess and he copied it.

In my experience whatever made your husband fall in love with you included those parts you would come to know. Denying even part of our self awareness leads to resentment which has not aided any relationship that I have had to date. If you have been trustworthy thus far in your marriage, telling your spouse the truth might just help your relationship (and it might not) but telling yourself the truth is essential and I'm glad we have a forum, cheerful or not, where you felt safe to do so.

Welcome to the queer rainbow tribe my bi sister. Here for you if you need a shoulder or a friend. 3FC is very good at support.

Hugs,
RW

Thank you so much for that! That was the first time I've said it out loud {or typed as it were} ....thank you for your kind words, glad to be a part of the tribe!

Welcome
 

Originally Posted by Shades:
I am a lesbian....I know she would be dead chuffed if I lost some weight although I know she loves me whatever size I am.
It helps to spur you on,I think when you have someone you love encouraging you.

You are blessed indeed. My daughter is my biggest cheerleader.

Single divorced-from-a-man lesbian mother of three here.

Hi, Curiously Joyful, Welcome.

This thread isn't very active, but it could be. I'm on daily to post in the monthly exercise challenge. I've been doing this for most of this year and find it really helps me achieve my health goals. You're at the same weight I started at in January. I'm down a little since then. I love the support I receive from everyone here. Great mentors, so many who used to be my heaviest weight or even heavier who are now in maintenance.

Hope you have as much ease connecting here as I do.

RW

Proudly putting the B in LBGT :-)

Welcome!

Hey ladies :D

Introducing myself,

Another Bi-Chick-Married-To-A-Man here. My husband is quite supportive and understands that I am generally more attracted to females than males. (and honestly considers himself lucky!)

I've only been on 3FC for about a month, but I am glad to have found this thread!

Bi-sexual right here. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year. :D

Welcome, Persicae.

Yeah.. welcome..

I was wondering what support or what issues around being LGBT connect for all of us with our health/body issues. For me the stress of not coming out caused me to put on a lot of weight. I was at my healthiest before I became aware of how dangerous it was for me to live from a place of authenticity.

I've been out since 1994 and have a safer life full of integrity now but when I was a youth, I was terrified and ate my fear until I became morbidly obese. I was criticized socially for enjoying building muscles, for enjoying strength and for having an opinion. I responded by getting ulcers as a 9 year old by trying to be someone I wasn't in order to survive. Makes me look at our youth today with a differently informed eye.

How does your orientation and your social support system affect your weight or health?

Hi everyone,

I am gay (lesbian) and have been married to my partner for 3 years now, we have been together for 4 years though. We have a (almost) 2 year old son together.

Well, the comfort of marriage and then pregnancy has not been kind to my body! We would like to have another baby but my weight is standing in the way (pcos & insulin resistance - solved by losing weight). We spent thousands on fertility treatments and IUI's last year and the beginning of this year to no avail. We will probably try again next year but I have to lose the weight 1st.

I am glad to have found this forum with like-minded people! Looking forward to chatting with all of you!