Hi everybody -
Kind of in a funk here.
BillBlueEyes - I think the amazon suggestion was because I've ordered a lot of cookbooks, and also some stuff like a book on Bizarre Book Titles, which list some fine published works as:
1587 - A Year Of No Significance and
Drummer Dick's Discharge

Well I don't know what to do. Hence my funk. I don't want to work on stuff that needs to be done. I don't want to go to the bar, don't want to go to the store, don't want to sit and do nothing, don't want to read.... there doesn't seem to be anything that is fulfilling.

I did learn some meditation techniques that help this, but how long can I sit and distract my mind with the sound of the wall heater? It's only 6:13 pm.

I did go to a new exercise class today - "Chi Ball." That was interesting. I have concluded that I am dyslexic as far as left and right and front and back. Even the simplest instructions seem like complex choreography to me. The movements of this class seemed likeable enough, I just could never do them in the "correct" direction at the "correct" time. Can you tell I am questioning the "correctness" of it all?

Well I'm cat-sitting again on a brief visit to the cat's house, so I guess I'll play fetch with her for a while. She'll fetch for hours.

Have a good evening, everyone -

CD and Jay - just saw your most recent messages -- Thanks, yes, it was the drawing for people who asked questions to the dietician. It's nice to win something! I chose the book since I don't have a TV to watch a DVD on... thanks again!

Jo - I thought it was just me that had trouble following along :lol: I love my aerobic dance videos, but it takes me a few times through before I "get" the moves. A couple videos even post "no complicated steps" - and I STILL have trouble! Chi ball sounds interesting.

We had a snow day at school today. Thus, I actually got quite a bit of work done. The office was so quiet :) AND, I was complaining yesterday that I do a lot of exercising that isn't productive - so I was rewarded today with a bunch of snow to shovel this morning. Open mouth insert ...

AND- we are supposed to get another foot this weekend - along with sub-zero temps. Looks like more shoveling will be in my very near future.

Have a GREAT weekend all!

Hey Spiny--do you not have a computer at home, either? Oh, you must! Doesn't your computer have a DVD drive?

Jay

Spiny- I can imagine that you don't own a television for reasons that make sense. For me a television brings me information in a visual way that other modes do not. Believe it or not I actually learn about many interesting
subjects from television.

Vietmanese food is staple take out where I live in the Pacific NW. There is a Vietnamese restaurant on every corner! It's cheap and uses a lot of fresh ingredients with many vegetarian options. Fresh spring rolls are one of my favorites because all they really consist of is fresh vegs in a very thin rice paper wrapper. There is a little metal drip thing that people use to make Vietnamese coffee. It's like a French press that goes over your coffee cup and drips into the cup. I take mine with me whenever I travel. The other secret ingredient is sweetened condensed milk. I don't drink it because of the calorie count. But if you are a coffee lover the little drip thingy makes a mighty fine cup (kind of like a shot of espresso) and you can just add soy milk or whatever you choose.

Hey mermom! Yes, I was at one point speaking of the virtues of Vietnamese coffee. It's a drug... :o I had some... complete WITH the sweetened condensed milk. :drool: But I only rarely indulge in it.

The restaurant wasn't that good. Oh well.

I went for many years without a TV. I have one now--and I do watch some interesting shows from time to time. (I'm also a football fan. Say what you will. ;)) I like to watch some of the things on History Channel and Discovery--for example, there was a program on one of those channels about a ship that went down in the Great Lakes. Not the Edmund Fitzgerald, but another one... Hmmm... I'll have to look it up later. They had looked for it for a long time, but the problem was that they assumed it had sunk in Lake Michigan, when it had actually gone down in Lake Huron. With modern technology, they located it, and found that it had sunk intact--so then the mystery was, why did it sink? There was no damage...

Jay

Morning . . . :wave:

Here I are doing my every other day check in . . . :lol: . . . It's the beautiful, sunny day between storms again; so I've got a stable power supply. This is getting tiresome. I could definitely handle the fact that it is still winter and storms are inevitable if only said nasty weather would stop playing silly buggers with the electricity. Sure hope shivering in the cold can be considered exercise.

Hope to see you tomorrow, gang . . . :carrot:

Just a quick check in.
I don't know if I will ever have anything good to say again. Or maybe at least for the next few days. It's awful; just awful; I can hardly believe how bad this feels. I lost a dear freind. It's terrible. I am not able write anything about it right now. It just sucks.

Aww JO . . . :hug: . . . We will be here to listen when you need us . . . :hug:

Things are alsmost delightful around here. It's been snowing all morning (about 3 to 4 inches so far) but it is coming down relatively straight and gentle. No gale force winds. :yay: Consequently my electricity has been quite happy and so am I -- although I guess I'll need to replace shivering as my form of exercise. :lol:

Have a good one everybody . . . see you soon . . . :wave:

Jo, I'm sorry - my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Linda - same here, cold, but sunny and the wind has died down. It really is beautiful outside today. So white and crisp, what winter is supposed to look like.

Jay - the name of the ship isn't coming to mind. Although I didn't see the program (no cable TV), I have been to most of the shipwreck museums in Michigan. Sounds like it was interesting. I love Michigan history and local lore. That was one of the fun things about being an elementary school librarian :) Ah, sometimes I miss those days.

Quiet Sunday at home - I think I'm ready for a nap. Then maybe some exercise later this afternoon. The evening will bring phone calls to all of the family members (kids and parents). Funny how, in my youth, Sunday was about everyone going to Grandma's house for dinner. Now it is about digital communication. How times have changed!

Jo... :( I'm sorry... I hope you can talk about it with us. It sounds like it must have been sudden.

Hey meowee, stay warm! Looks like the whole country is a big freezer.

CountingDown, I can't find the name of the ship! It was a sailing vessel--just before steam came in. It was named after the builder's daughter. They think that it was so overloaded that during the storm, it slowly just slipped lower and lower into the water until only the masts were above the water, and then finally it lost all buoyancy and drifted to the bottom. As you know, the Great Lakes are just littered with sunken ships.

hijude, BillBlueEyes, Mermom, and all the rest of you folks! :wave: Have a good day! If you watch football, enjoy the games. :cheer2:

Jay

friends
 

Hi Spiny...so sorry you lost someone close to you. I too hope that you will eventually feel like you can talk about this. If nothing else to interupt your own tapes regarding what you are thinking and feeling.

I had dinner with a friend tonight who is on the verge of losing it. I don't know what to say to help her from falling over the edge. Serious self esteem issues to the point where she is supporting herself and her partner by working 75 hours a week and sees no end that is positive. The partner is a total user but my friend keeps taking care of the both of them and not taking care of herself. I am afraid she will do something drastic. I tried everything I could think of to turn her thoughts away from degrading herself and saying what a good person her partner is. I don't know how to help her and I am afraid for her.

Hey Mermom, sorry to hear about your friend! :( I wouldn't try to say anything negative about her partner, because she probably can't hear that--but you can help her by countering her negative thinking about herself. Also, do you think she'd consider seeing a counselor, therapist, or clergy person? She might benefit from talking to someone who can be objective... or whom she would see as being objective.

It's hard when friends get into this sort of situation.

How is everyone else today?

Yesterday I did my 30 minutes on the treadmill--I didn't want to, but I finished all 30 minutes! :cheer:

Jay

Good Morning Everybody . . . :wave:

Beautiful and :sunny: around northern Nova Scotia this morning -- but it is :brr: at -31C/-24F -- at least that will keep the snow at bay for a little while.

Sorry to hear about your friend MERMOM. It can be so tough not to butt in, but I have to agree with JAY, you just have to be strong for her and keep biting your tongue.

Well gang, I'd better get myself moving and shaking so I can get out and enjoy the wonderful day. Have a great one and keep on doing the good stuff just as much as you possibly can . . . :grouphug:

Pals - I'm not going to work today.
I'm so angry at myself that I can't suck it all up and be tough and reasonable yet.
Isn't anger one of those stages in grieving? Well GOOD because I'm certainly angry.
I've lost people before. Both my parents, and some other friends, but nothing like THIS.
And all those words that people say like "He Wouldn't Want You To Feel So Bad..." So F***ing WHAT!!??? I DO feel this bad. I swear I am surprised to find that I can even pick up a toothbrush. This is awful, my friends, just awful, and there is no amount of sugar to coat it with. And I come here on this 3fc site and read about people who are concerned about the number of calories in yogurt and it all seems so incredibly absurd to me right now. I guess that is like that verse from Ecclesiates that Pete Seeger put into a song about there being a time for everything, and for me this is the time to mourn and anything that is not mournful seems as absurd as kitten claws flying through the air making noises like war planes and turning into oatmeal. This sucks, pals, this really sucks.

I'll delete this all shortly because I don't want my comments emblazoned upon the internet forever.

Spiny, I think I know where you're coming from. All of this "stuff" that people pay so much attention to does seem meaningless in the face of death.

I'll just say... don't use your grief as a reason to do anything unwise... remember that you are still alive, and life is worth having.

Jay

Jay, thank you, but, this is not the Time to be Wise.
I have a lot of regrets. That's the worst part.

I have said before that I don't think I ever really learned how to be nice to people. I don't have a lot of friends. Probably because I never learned....

Hence, I have regrets about how much nicer I could have/should have been to my friend, and now I will never have the chance.

Sorry about your recent lose
 

Well, I can understand how you feel. This past week my mom went into the hospital to have a hysterectomy for uterine cancer. This was her first surgery and she was scared. I spoke with her the night before she had the surgery.

There was multiple complications. She had low B/P, massive blood lose, acute renal failure, a stroke which has so far affected her vision, and now an infection at the incision site which goes from her pubic bone to her breast bone. Tomorrow they will do one more CT to see if this stroke is continuing to damage her brain. She is in restraints, sedated on and on a respirator.

I had a very difficult and stormy relationship with my mom for 40 years. She never forgave me for something that I did when I was 16 years old. I resented and was deeply hurt by not only that but how she treated me.

This past fall she went into the doctor for an infected cyst on her back. When she was finished with the treatment she was a changed woman. She forgave me just about the time I forgave her. We had some really nice loving talks throughout December. A week before Christmas she found out she had two different types of cancer. She is 73 and also diabetic but she manages her diabetes well and she was considered in good health prior to this surgery.

My sister is very angry and upset. It is difficult to talk to her since she is there with Mom and I am here 1000 miles away. I can't take off work because I simply can't afford to but I call multiple times a day to get the latest update. I have peace about my mom and our relationship. If she dies, I will be sad but there is nothing more that I would have or could have said to her. What timing, huh?

I hope that you are able to express your grief and "the could haves" to someone close or even journal. You are right, how many calories are in a cupcake really pale compared to events like this. However, I plan to do my best to stay on my plan because I need to take care of myself now and in future months, years. I hope you will too.

:hug::hug:

Jo, I don't know the details of your situation, so I won't say with certainty that this is true. But, my gut feeling is that your friend knew how much you cared. That your friend knew, that under the layers you had feelings that ran very deep. Even though we keep people at arm's length (or beyond), those that we spend time with really do know our hearts.

Anger is a useful emotion. Just don't let it consume you.

And - you are right - there is a lot of wisdom in that whole passage from Ecclesiastes. There is a time and purpose to everything under heaven. Mourning is important, let yourself feel sadness and grief. But, also balance it with fond memories and cherish the special moments that you shared.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jay - great job staying on that treadmill. I applaud your tenacity. I can't handle the treadmill. Nothing is interesting enough to occupy my mind enough to keep me on one. It is a mental thing with me.

You do well going to a gym too. That is something that would be really hard for me to do. I do well exercising once I start, but motivating myself to go out in the cold to do it - well - I'm a wimp.

Long-winded way of saying - I admire you!

I am sorry for your loss and pain Jo ~ we are not perfect people ~ we all fail to do our very best in any relationship with people ~ but we can learn and grow from those relationships lost and do better in our next ones.

Losing someone is never easy...in time...as you know....you will get through it. Peace to you.

Hey!

How are folks today?

pamatga, I'm so sorry for all that you're going through! But glad that you and your mom did come to some kind of resolution.

CountingDown, I'm fortunate that I live in a warm climate where I don't have to fight the cold. I used to live in Mass., and my Y membership tended not to get used so much in winter.

Right now I'm using our community's free fitness center, which is a block down the road--so I have no excuse! But, the machines are old and don't really give me the workout I'd like. I'm going to join a gym soon--if I can get a few bucks ahead.

Jay

Hi gang . . . :wave:

Sun is shining for the second day in a row -- wow -- and it is at least 10C (18F) warmer than it was yesterday -- double wow. Of course, they are predicting another 3 to 4 inches of snow starting later this afternoon. Anyway . . . it was so nice to see the sun again, I exercised my little heart out dancing around the house this morning. If I can just hold it together in the eating department, we'll be able to call it a good day. :yes:

Hope everybody else has a pretty good one on the go, too . . . See you later . . . :carrot:

Well I suppose that what happens when one is hungover, and sleep-deprived at the same time, it results in a different kind of nasty feeling that can provide a distraction, sort of, in a weird kind of way, from the other nasty feelings of heartbreak and despair.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words.

Hey maybe there should be a despair genre of music. Let's take the blues beyond the blues. Although, there are blues festivals. I don't imagine there would be despair festivals. Or if there were, what would they include?

Good day for me as far as the plan goes. I "pumped rubber" this morning and WATP tonight after work. I was consulting in another school district today and lunch choices included a wonderful cashew, dried cherry, feta and iceberg lettuce salad - AND the dressing even came on the side :) This from the school cafeteria no less! It was delightful.

The thermometer went up to 12 degrees here today, but we are supposed to get another 5 inches tonight with temps down to -12 degrees. The hard part is that 2 weeks ago it was 54 out and we had no snow. Gotta love January weather ;)

Oh, and DH just read me part of a continuing education module he is doing which included results from a 20 year Danish study. People who exercise and drink moderately have a much lower risk for heart disease and live longer :) I'm raising a glass of red wine in agreement :lol:

Well . . . we got a few more inches of the white fluffy stuff overnight . . . but the good news is that there is no more precipitation in the forecast from now through the weekend. The current conditions -- sporadically sunny and relatively mild (a little below freezing) -- are forecast to continue until at least Monday. Wow . . . I hope they've got it right.

Okay . . . guess I'd better get myself moving and shaking, gang. It's almost noon and I've accomplished next to nothing so far today. Need to get a few things done. Hope you all have a great day and I'll see you later. :carrot:

:wave: Hey meowee, we got lots of rain here--must be our version of the snowstorm that passed through.

Spiny, are you recovering yet? By "unwise" I guess I meant drinking too much out of grief--why have a hangover on top of things?

I don't think a "Despair Festival" would have many takers... ;) Plus the title is an oxymoron...

Counting, that's so good that you could find such a meal at a school cafeteria! It gives one hope...

Going for a walk now!

Jay

Hi all - hope you are doing well!

Jo, you feeling better? You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Jay - hope that rain is gone and your walk went well. I really miss walking outside. We open our JH/HS complex to walkers after school and there were a lot of them today. I used to walk the school years ago, but I guess I would rather use my DVDs these days. I'm antsy for spring already!

I had another POP day - I really think the BL and the January 50+ challenges are helping me. It is silly, but I guess every little motivation adds up and helps me stay OP. It isn't the eating I struggle with, it is getting up early to work out.

Hi Pals
Stopping in here but it is still really hard to think of anything ELSE besides this loss.
Jay - yes, drinking too much is not wise but it is a better alternative to that which you would call Even Worse, if you know what I mean. Yeah, it feels that bad.
I just apologize that I am not able to muster up the positive stuff and reports of interesting subjects and activities. Again, I really appreciate everyone's encouragement. I'm kind of hard to budge, I'm sorry. This one has taken me down lower than snake spit in a prairie dog hole.

stay there as long as you need to...I have faith you will come up for air when you need to....hug

Yes JO -- EZ said it all -- we will be here for you when you need us, Chickie :hug:

And a great, big :grouphug: for everybody else, too. Try to keep things moving and shaking today, gang. I've already done a few minutes on the Gazelle, but my major exercise today will come from the normal Thursday They've modified the long-range forecast a little -- still saying partly sunny, partly cloudy through the weekend (and beyond) but now they are calling for a return to the nasty -30C (-20F) temperature ranges we were enjoying (:s:) at the beginning of this week. Oh well, could be worse, I'm sure.

Have a great one, buddies and I'll see you all later . . . :wave:

Jo, Gary and Linda are right. But, one other thought. Grieving takes time, and you need to let yourself experience it. Try - really try to reach outside yourself as soon as you can. And, walking or other forms of exercise can help you too.
We are here for you, and are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!
http://www.2ni2.com/emoticon/amor/grupo_amistad.gif

Good morning! :wave:

How are things? I still haven't been able to join the gym--still waiting for my cash flow to catch up. But, I'm keeping up with my walking and trying to get to the community fitness center.

In a couple of weeks, a friend and I are going to see the opera singer Dame Kiri te Kanawa on her farewell tour. I'm not an opera fan, but I have always liked her voice--and I think it will be so great to see her!

Anyone else into classical music?

Jay

WOW - Dame Kiri te Kanawa
 

You are in for some die-for sopano arias. Wish I could go with you.

We enjoy attending performances by the Boston Lyric Opera - always dramatic, always memorable. It is so easy to love opera. Hope you have a wonderful evening, and that you tell us about it.

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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Hi gang . . . :wave:

I'm definitely a fan of classical music -- mostly symphony; not too big on opera -- have a great time.

Spent most of the day wandering around with LouLou again today. Went many places; did many things. Another very cold but beautiful and sunny day . . . more of the same, but even colder predicted for tomorrow.

Have a great evening folks. Keep things moving and shaking. :carrot:

Jay, that sounds wonderful. I don't have much opportunity to attend opera, but I do love classical music. We have a small symphony in town and I have a decent classical collection as well.

We had more sunshine today :) It felt sooo good. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hi again everyone. A lot has happened here. Sorry to hear about the loss some of you are going through. Difficult times.

I have finally got to the gym and gained some momentum for my own life. :carrot:
It is interesting how we can be full speed ahead for someone else and have no time for ourselves. Last weekend a friend talked me into signing up for the infa red spa. :cool: It is a deal for 30 days go all you want to. I started on last Sunday. It is supposed to cure every thing that ails you. It is really hot and you sweat big time for 30 minutes. It apparently burns off 600 calories in 30 minutes.:dancer:
I am losing weight and when you are done it feels like a major work out too. Plus I go to the gym for an hour before. I have been so stuck so am really glad to have done this.
I have a new food plan and it is a struggle. 1500 cal a day and stick to it. I have done pretty good so far this week.
Any one have any suggestions how to make it threw the weekend. My friends are having a progressive dinner and I would love to see them all but it would ruin my first week and I do not want to be pissed at myself again.
I could not go and just eat a few things. Too early in my journey. :sorry:

Jay good for you for going to the community center gym. It is hard to work out on old equipment but it is better than nothing. Our community center is big bucks. Almost $5 to walk through the door. It is cheaper for me to belong to the gym.
So I hope every one is good and you all have a wonderful weekend.

Jude:hug:

Hey, hijude! Good to see you. :wave:

I'd say--don't go to the progressive party. You don't need to say why--this is a case where I would come up with an illness or a previous engagement before I'd tell them I was trying to lose weight. Sometimes people don't take that seriously and get miffed. Of course, I don't know your friends.

I know I'm lucky to have the free fitness center--it's certainly a bonus! I sure need some motivation right now...

Is anyone else familiar with the music of Alan Hovhaness? He was a 20th century composer who wrote some lovely music, much of it with a somewhat oriental or middle eastern flavor. One of his better known pieces is a symphony titled "Mysterious Mountain." I discovered him in the last couple of years.

Jay

Morning . . . :wave:

SSDD . . . :sunny: and :brr:

I agree, make up a "little white" and pass on the progressive dinner, JUDE. Friends (at least the kind that don't need to diet - or don't diet) would never understand the real reason.

Must admit that I'm not familiar with that composer, JAY, but I will be taking a look the next time I'm at a music store. My favourites are some of the really old stand-bys -- Wagner, Rimsky-Korsokov, etcetera.

Have a great day, gang . . . :carrot:

Jude - I agree - pass on the dinner - or maybe go for the first course only - say hi to everyone, socialize and then skip out letting them know that you have another engagement (which could be with a good book, a bubble bath, etc. :lol:)

Jay - I have heard Mysterious Mountain, but nothing else by Hovhaness.

We are trying to raise money for a "Y" here. Other than one full-service health club and a lot of smaller "gyms", there aren't really any options around here. I used to like to swim, but the health club is quite pricey, and I don't think I would use it enough to justify the expense.

I'm blessed to have a fairly large house with no children at home, so adding exercise equipment is an option if I want. In the past, we have owned several different pieces - some I used - some I didn't. Things that have left the house are a treadmill, health rider, and a stationary bike. Things that have stayed have been the Gazelle and the weight machine. Though, if I don't get back on the Gazelle soon, it might be another casualty :shrug:

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I'm off to finish laundry and clean. Good thing I downloaded a new Audible book to keep me company :)