[A Mary]

I did my homework today, thanks Angela for suggesting it. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I set up fitday, quite an eye opener the calories in food. 900 today, i know that's low, but so am I today so its not a normal day.

I managed to get some work done today, not what i should have so I'll pay for that.

My husband was trying so hard to help me, he said he needs to lose weight too so will eat what I eat. Of course he will, I cook !!!

says he needs to lose a few pounds.......whatever, he's a rail

then he says maybe we should go to a gym, maybe i need weight training, get a trainer. I said i don't like gyms, there are nothing but skinny fit people there. Then he says well then gyms aren't for you.

I'm sure ya'll know how i took that one.

poor him, he gets the brunt of my anger. being hungry makes me so cranky.

thanks for the support today everyone

[JayEll]

Hey Mary,

1. You don't have to be hungry all the time to lose weight. 900 calories is too low. It's best not to go below 1200, on average (an occasional day now and then won't hurt). And, you may be able to eat more than 1200 and lose weight.

2. Gyms are where overweight people go to help themselves. I know because I have been one of them. If you go, you'll see that it's true. Try something like the YMCA? Yes, there are also thin, fit people at gyms--but that is why they are thin and fit.

3. Just keep entering your foods into FitDay. You'll soon see just what a serving really is and how many calories are involved in some foods. Also, if you eat in restaurants, you can get calorie counts from websites (for example, fromTaco Bell, McD's, etc.--or from calorieking.com).

Good luck!
Jay

[lostchick]

Mary I know it's going to be hard to wrap your head around this one but you need to eat more calories to lose weight. I know it's mind boggling. It's about the choices. I had to give up my dorritos and cappicinos (sp) for better calorie choices. It works out to be alot more food with less calories. I promise you wont be hungry.

About the gym. I started with water aerobics. 1/2 of me is underwater and no one knows I have no cordination. I'll tell ya though It's not the skinney minis that bother me it's the 60+ year old women that are kicking my butt at water aerobics.
Good luck and give a hug to your hubby. Be thankful he's supportive. Mine isn't which just adds to the battle.

[ladyinweighting]

Hi Mary,

After losing 35 pounds since May, I've been stuck at 153-155 for the past 6 weeks.

What I've learned during the past 6 weeks -

"Patience" = a dissatisfaction with "what is." It is a focus on "what is not" combined with a willingness to wait for some future state of being.

"Acceptance" = satisfaction with things as they are. It is s focus on "the now."

I continue to eat and exercise to sustain my health and well-being. I accept my current state. I focus on the positive as opposed to the negative.

Lynn

[femmecreole]

Mary, I was in the same boat as you, except I weighed 60lbs more than what I weighed before becoming pregnant with my 3rd child. Very depressed over my weight and the fact that my Daddy had just died of problems that could have been avoided due to his weight added to the depression and sadness. Before he died, he made me promise I would lose weight and not go through what he did with diabetes, congestive heart failure, knee and back surgeries etc. When I was younger and slim, my kids were so proud to be with me and even though they didn't say anything, I knew they were not as proud of the way I looked anymore. My boys are both graduating from college next year and I wanted to be the pretty Mom they used to have at the their graduations. I wanted the perfect "little black dress" for the occasion and not a "big black tent". Without realizing it at first, I started this new way of life exactly one year to the day from the last time I saw my Daddy. Something told me "today is the day"...I like to think it was my Daddy whispering in my ear...
I had every bad eating habit from skipping breakfast to eating everything in sight because I was starving when I came home from work which would just trigger more cravings for junk.. Vicious cycles.

I knew I had to find a healthy way to loose the weight and knew I needed a guideline for doing it. I knew I had to find a "diet" that would last for life and not just something to lose weight quickly and gain it all back again. I did a lot of research on the subject and for me, South Beach sounded like the best way to go. I started in April in a VERY tight 16..probably an 18, but I refused to buy 18's and just slugged around in my too tight clothes, covering them up with big shirts!
I am now in a size 8 and I can't tell you how thrilled I am. I feel great..I never get bone tired like I used to. I never have the nightly heartburn and indigestion I used to have (although I eat tons of onions and garlic!) I really feel like I did when I was young although I've gone through menopause (twice) and a hysterectomy.

I have a dessert every night and have never felt "deprived" at all. The first 2 weeks are kind of "restrictive" because you detox your body from sugar and white flour etc (it also gets rid of cravings for junk)...but after that, you feel so great and slowly start adding more healthy foods into your diet. I just had to keep telling myself that in the grand sceme of things that 2 weeks is nothing and I was doing this to live longer and look better and that I could do it!! There are so many recipes out there in the books (and free online) that you never get bored like eating celery and carrot sticks! My husband (who is a stick) is very supportive and has been eating the same foods I eat and is perfectly happy with them (and he is very picky about the quality of his food..if he didn't like something, he'd let me know right away!) We both are picky..we are from New Orleans and well prepared, tasty food is a religion here.

I know I sound like a great big commercial, but that's not my point in this post. You need to find a program that will blend with your lifestyle and help you along the way. The most important thing is having the right mindset, and believing in yourself and knowing that you can do it....and YOU CAN!!! If I can do it anyone can. I used to make rich fattening meals every day, followed by baking something daily...and eating it all, and no will power at all. My boys and husband are so proud of me now and tell me constantly. My daughter moved to Los Angeles in July and I can't wait till she can come visit, although she is amazed by the pictures that I email her. My mother now lives in NC with my sister since Katrina and is here visiting for the winter. The look on her face when she got off the plane last month and saw me was worth it all. She hugged me tight and teared up and said "Look at my skinny daughter"..I will never forget that. I'm amazed that I eat great meals, snacks and desserts and the sizes just keep going down!

[A Mary]

thanks, i have re read these posts over and over again.

I can sure understand how eating disorders start, i feel at war with food and terrified to eat anything. I do need a better plan, program or something. keeping track of foods and seeing what calories in them all is helping.

thanks again all of you

[Mermom]

Hi Mary-

Thought I would chime in here. I don't have a solution but I certainly can relate to much of what you feel.

I have battled depression my entire life...for most of that time the disease was untreated. If you think you are more than just "blue" please see a professional. I have been on the correct dose of the correct drug now for about a year and my what a difference. It doesn't matter if I have to take a little pink pill for the rest of my life. The anger and obsessing and the horrible dark times have finally left.

I have not lost a pound in months. But today I finally noticed something had changed in my relationship with food. I now actually want healthy food. I want fruit and veg and soup. For years I felt deprived when I tried to change my eating habits. Maybe it is just about being in a mentally healthy state.

You ever watch The Biggestest Loser? There is that song at the beginning that says something like, "What have you done today to make yourself feel proud?" I sing that in my head almost every morning and try to think about what I will do that day, that one day to make myself feel proud. One day at a time is all you have to do.

[ayaussy]

Did anyone mention that, if you're working out, you may have added muscle, which weighs more than fat? I've been perplexed before when I haven't seemed to move the scale but I'm wearing a smaller size, but this has always been with exercise. At that point, I throw out the number and go with the pants!

[JayEll]

Hey ayaussy!

Just in the interests of accuracy... it's that 1 pound of muscle take up less space than 1 pound of fat. So, you can notice your clothing fitting more loosely as your muscle gets toned and you also lose fat.

It takes a LOT of exercise, however, to increase the amount of muscle you have, so it won't explain sudden changes in weight. More often such changes are due to water fluctuation.

Cheers!

Jay