I keep saying to myself. I really need help with the mental part of weight loss. I have the physical part together. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week for water aerobics or strength training. I love it and am diligent about it.
The mental part is I have NO WILL POWER. My husband always buys snacks and I end up earing them. My way of gettiing around it and it helps a little is I'll put them in the basement. This way if I want a cookie or chips I have to go down there to get them.
The big question is, Why do I NEED THEM.
I don't know but once I start I can't stop. Chips cookies I'm doomed.
Has anyone had psychological help that has helped them.
The mental part is nice and all but it's rather overrated, IMO.
I lost weight not because I am suddenly able to control my cravings or because I have all this will power. I shield myself from situations where I cannot resist my temptations.
Why is your husband always buying snacks and leaving them for you?
The mental part is nice and all but it's rather overrated, IMO.
I lost weight not because I am suddenly able to control my cravings or because I have all this will power. I shield myself from situations where I cannot resist my temptations.
Why is your husband always buying snacks and leaving them for you?
He buys them for himself I just end up eating more of them then he does.
I fully believe that most people who have been eating the traditional standard diet of processed foods don't have the biochemistry makeup to be able to have willpower anymore.
It used to drive my DH just freaking CRAZY that I just couldn't exert my willpower and not eat those chips. Or not eat that ice cream. He didn't get it. I'm not sure he ever really could understand, because he doesn't eat processed foods. He only eats when he is hungry. He's totally balanced. He's been taking vitamins for years.
It's taken me three months, but with the help of some supplements and eating clean- I can leave almost everything on the table..for days. Especially if I look at the list of ingredients.
So the title of your post "The mental part of losing weight"- I agree that losing weight is HIGHLY mental (trying to figure out WHY we eat when we aren't hungry), but when it comes to willpower- I would retitle this post, "The biochemical part of losing weight."
When I read this book- it absolutely blew my mind: http://www.dietcure.com/aminoacids.html "Almost everyone who has ever come into my office has felt like a failure. “I just don’t seem to have the willpower to stay on a diet anymore” or “I can never stick to the maintenance part of the plan.” Mostly, this is because they crave sweets or starchy carbs and can’t do without them for long. They start with “just a little” and end up eating a lot more than they feel they should. Often their spouses or other family members criticize them, saying, “Why don’t you just try harder?” “If you’d just limit yourself to one . . . ,” which only serves to make them feel even worse about themselves. “I guess they’re right,” they say, “I just don’t have enough self-discipline.” Yet oddly, these same people are usually doing well in every other aspect of their lives. They are effective at work, they keep the bills paid and the checkbook balanced, they organize their children’s lives beautifully. They are actually models of willpower.
We point this out. We remind them that they have lost weight—dozens, sometimes hundreds of times. Truly, there is nothing harder than dieting. Most of those critical spouses and family members could never stand the course of even one diet.
So if it’s not lack of willpower, what is wrong with you? Are you an emotional basket case who can’t get by without comfort food? If you had more strength, could you power through your problems without overeating? Should you feel ashamed of yourself for needing emotional sustenance from foods? No! I hope to help you understand why you are using food as self-medication. It’s not because you are weak willed, it’s because you’re low in certain brain chemicals. You don’t have enough of the chemicals that should naturally be making you feel emotionally strong and complete.
These brain chemicals are thousands of times stronger than street drugs such as heroin. And your body has to have them. If not, it sends out a command that is stronger than anyone’s willpower: “Find a druglike food to briefly substitute for your brain’s missing comfort chemicals. We cannot function without them!” Your depression, tension, irritability, anxiety, and cravings are all symptoms of a brain that is deficient in the mood-enhancing and pleasure-promoting chemicals called neurotransmitters."
I try not to sound preachy or overly opinionated on the boards, but will power is SUCH a touchy subject for me. And I have felt like a failure for too long about "willpower." I have felt the heavy guilt of not being able to resist foods. If I can help anyone avoid those feelings or begin correcting them...I feel like I have to say something.
Not only do I have "willpower" now, but the depression and emotional issues that I was battling with for a number of years are practically all but gone. I'm in a really good place mentally and emotionally and I point to vitamins, essential fatty acids and amino acids for it. Oh- and no longer eating processed or packaged foods. Is it difficult? Yes. But is it worth it? Oh my goodness...Yes. I was JUST telling DH at lunch today, "I don't think I've ever felt so emotionally well and balanced." It feels amazing.
Last edited by lunarsongbird; 03-23-2013 at 10:26 PM.
I love this thread. The mental part of losing weight is huge.
What I found works for me is a 'multi-pronged' approach. This April I will celebrate 2 whole years going to Weight Watchers meetings weekly.
Here's what works for me: The camraderie in these meetings, the great ideas from the leaders as well as the members, weighing in once a week, tracking, cooking for myself (newfound skill!), having a friend in WW to text back and forth with, and exercise (4-5x/week). Also taking healthy snacks with me when I go out for the day, and eating more fruits during the day (clementines, bananas and apples are favorites). That really has cut down my craving for sweets and I feel more balanced as well.
I believe the human body is capable of amazing things, including big weight loss. Everyone I know who has sustained a big weight loss over time has been a WW member. WW helps me to learn what things I need to do to stack the odds of my eating right in my favor. Some of these things are subtle. I have noticed from hearing folks talk in the meetings it is slightly different for everyone. It's a big long journey and we have to be patient with ourselves. Support and ideas from other folks on the same journey is very helpful. The basement is a good place for your husband's stash, but if it's still calling your name maybe he could keep it in the trunk of his car.
I have lost 50 pounds and still have lots to go. But I am so much further in mind and spirit than I was two years ago. Thank God! Thank you WW! Good luck on your journey.
Hey 2feelbetter, I thought I would chime in on getting psychological help. I gained a lot of weight (~50 lbs) while dealing with depression and I found counseling to be really helpful. I actually started there first, then added exercise and healthy eating later. Seeing someone helped me deal with what I was going through and get to a place where I didn't need to be overeating all night, so that when I later started counting calories it was much easier to stick to it. Everyone responds to therapy differently, but for me it was a good experience. (Also, I have no idea about your financial/insurance situation, but if things are tight or counseling isn't covered, low-fee or sliding scale therapy can be a good option.)
Thanks you everyone for your ideas. There are some really good points here. I'm not mentally depressed in any way.
What made me write this post was I was watching the movie FLIGHT with Denzel Washington and he was an alcholic and he kept saying he wouldn't drink and he could stop....but he didn't And he couldn't. Then it clicked, and I said that's the way I feel about sweets and salty snacks.
Mozzy said exactly what I was thinking overeaters annoymous.
The other thing I find interesting is watchingpeople around me. I notice my husband is a FOOD person. He lies for a good meal whereas I'm not that way. Like I said earlier he'll buy snacks that he likes and I end up eating them. He can go and have some chips and a cookie and be done with it but I keep going.
Oh well thank you for letting me vent. I'm going to re read some of your post again and try to incorporate some of the ideas.
Please vent here as much as you need to, we all get it and understand to a point.
The way that I had to lose weight this time was very mental to me. I *had* to get my head in the game and decide if I wanted the food or to be thinner more. So far, for 8 months, the thinner option has won. I have been tempted many times to go off my plan with stress, happiness, holidays, weekends, you name it. I haven't lost control of my game play. I am literally my own coach, captain, referee, cheerleader. Sounds silly but it's true.
One of the best pieces of advice I read just recently on 3FC (I think it was from Vex) is telling myself, if I really want/need/deserve whatever food, is "I can have it tomorrow if I really want it." Well, tomorrow comes, and then I tell myself the same statement again. Brilliant! Technically I will never have it as it will keep reverting to tomorrow.
Eventually I will work most foods back into my everyday diet but right now my mission is to get these bleeping pounds off and stay away from the tempting food.
I wish I could pull willpower out of the air at any moment I need it but I can't. I'm pretty sure all of us here on this forum have issues with willpower, otherwise why would be be here?
Just the other night, I found myself with my hands in the tortilla chips bag while watching tv. There came a point where I said, "ok, what am I doing, this is the LAST chip for tonight." After that I put the bag away after about 400 calories gone in 10 mins. I think all willpower is the ability to bring your mind somewhere into the present where it's able to make a decision, instead of staying in the background while you do something mindlessly.
I'd recommend reading CherryPie99's blog if you haven't. She's a regular on the forums here who's lost well over 100lbs and is an addiction counselor, which is exactly what this is for some of us. She talks about this from time to time.
I think you should consider a therapist/counselor that has worked with food stuff because I do think it helps. I went to one, not because I was depressed or had mental issues, but because I could feel that something was blocking me emotionally/psychologically/blah.
Going to therapy for a while (it was always with the intention that it would eventually end, so I needed to figure things out for when I wasn't going to counseling again) helped me come to terms with dealing with my PCOS. I was ignoring my diagnosis and I didn't want to deal with it because no one in my family really thought it was a "real" disease because so little is known and none of my doctors were proactive about treating me, so I just lingered with BCPs as my treatment... despite my weight gain and IR development.
In therapy I realized I had to treat PCOS/IR like I would laundry. It's not something I want to do, it's not fun or pleasurable in that way, but if I treat it and I lose weight, then I'll be happier. The way that I feel happy when I put on clean clothes!
By treating and learning more about PCOS/IR and myself, then the dieting/losing weight became easier because I could focus on habits/lifestyle that supported treating my PCOS/IR rather than pretending it didn't exist and getting annoyed I couldn't lose weight eating crap food.
I don't think your issue is mine, but a therapist can help you figure out if your food thing is psychological or physical and what you can do about it.
I don't personally believe that weight loss has anything to do with willpower. I have great willpower, drive, and patience, but food left me feeling powerless. The idea that we can't lose weight because we are lazy or can't resist eating is inaccurate to me.
Instead, I believe that in most cases where we have gained and struggled to lose, especially in extreme cases, the issue is our emotional connection to eating. Somewhere down the line, rather than coping with difficult emotions through healthier means, we chose to comfort ourselves with food. So now, when we go through an emotional situation - lonely, sad, bored, angry, etc. - we have programmed ourselves to turn to food for comfort.
In order to break that emotional connection to food and to put food in the right place in our lives - as a nutrition source rather than an emotional comfort source - we need to break the tie between emotional distress and food.
I have gotten SO much out of eating disorder treatment. My life has done a 180 and for the first time ever I think I will be able to maintain my weight loss. That emotional connection to food has been reduced significantly.
Not sure if therapy would work for you, because your situation may not be as dire as mine was, but it wouldn't hurt to do some research.
SSSSSOOOOOOOO glad I found this thread. I'm one of those people who works at something better if I have a complete understanding of the big picture and what all the factors are. Lunarsongbird, that video was wonderful. I've overcome being addicted to tobacco, so I know I can do it. And, I have accepted that I'm addicted to sugar -- and man does it mess with my body!
What I want to know is why the **** my doctor isn't telling me this stuff. She's always very supportive of any weight loss, but she also will say things like it's up to me. Yes, I'm the only one who can ultimately work my way through the mine field of food, but it would sure help to know all of this "stuff" as it really helps me with knowing what the consequences are of making what for me is a wrong decision.
One of the best pieces of advice I read just recently on 3FC (I think it was from Vex) is telling myself, if I really want/need/deserve whatever food, is "I can have it tomorrow if I really want it." Well, tomorrow comes, and then I tell myself the same statement again. Brilliant! Technically I will never have it as it will keep reverting to tomorrow.
I use this one, too. I call it my "Alice in Wonderland tactic". "Jam yesterday, and jam tomorrow. But never jam today!"
The mental part of losing weight.
'The mental part of the journey': huge
