Hello Kids. I have been around the block and back. I'ts exhausting. I have been not 'dieting' really, just trying every which-way around the idea which is 'amost' dieting. I tried counting calories about 3 weeks ago, and went gung-ho mindset about losing weight (setting goal dates and all) and last week I decided that wasn't it either. Counting doesn't void the calories, it rather just makes me thinking more about food than I already do, and I think that's not good. I happen to be of an opinion that over the years, my neural networks have gotten a little too food oriented, and I am thinking a lot of this is in the brain, and I'm actually feel I need to think LESS about food and my weight issues, as difficult of a chore that is for me. (and probably what makes or breaks a successful maintenance lifestyle?) I think I need more constructive habits & hobbies in the day, and HOUSE KEEPING (!!)... to keep my mind out of fantasizing edible decadence. I am building up my apetite for fresh fruit more, and veggie snacks, and less for cheese and almonds (I did learn those are my deadly health foods calorie wise, and I am willing to really moderate my consumption of them). Otherwise, I eat very whole-food type diet, and mostly vegetarian.

I seem to have a better understanding from the calorie counting weeks, about what foods and lack-of-exercise seem to broaden or narrow the calorie deficit toward weight loss, and let me tell you, I think I understand why I'm overweight now. lol. I know myself backwards and forwards (heck, I'm 48 now) and am well aware of what makes me triggered to eat off plan. Oh... my plan, what is my plan? I guess in it's simplicity, this is it :

1. Eat as much fruit and veggies as I can ~ first ~ and listen to my hunger gauged around the filling up with fruit. (This is very difficult for me, as I am a real fat/carb combo addict, and crave the grains, nuts, cheese, potatoes, etc). I have some significant food craving spots in the day, and need to learn to work through those, by eating before I am hungry.

2. Stay out of the butter dish~ there simply has to be some foods that are Off Limits.

3. Hike everyday, of varying lengths, and if at all possible, go twice, or go for a bike ride in addition. Maybe once a week, a day off, but train my lifestyle to include it everyday.

4. If it's a shopping town day, (I try to go first thing in the morning, when stores are quieter) , I have discovered Town Days are a double-edged sword: I tend to binge with something from the grocery store... (all that visual! ) and, I since I spend so much physical and psychological energy running errands, I tend to bail on my walk afterward. Town Days under surveylance and construction. Overhaul direly needed.

I am presently accepting the advice of you ladies (and gents if there are any). :-) Yesterday was a town day,and today I'm two pounds heavier and feeling very motivationally deflated. Is there any obvious step I'm forgetting? Weigh-in days, all of that doesn't matter for me, it makes no real scientific difference whether or when I weigh in... or, count calories, or whatever. Like I said, and it's difficult to coin a phrase, but NOT THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT FOOD is part of my plan, to think MORE about what I've let go, like my house ! My hobbies ! My love of cycling ! I think you get the idea, you're a very , very smart bunch here.

For me now, I come to you Forties Ladies, to chat, to hunker, and I'm not going anywhere else. The General Support seems to be too vastly populated, and with many very inexperienced dieters in their teens and twenties,(I am sure you understand how difficult advice is taken from someone half your age)I am humbly returning, the Prodigal Hermit.. ;-) I really , really , REALLY want to LIVE a new lifestyle, not just sample it when I'm in the mood. I think hunkering with you here is going to be my Daily Accountability. I mean that... I am going to set up a tent in the 40's Forum !

Please welcome me back? I could really use a group hug and holler of cheer. :-)

Hi Hermit Girl! I don't believe we've met. I just joined/started my journey in January. Nice to meet you.

I'm not really one to give advice, as I'm still figuring out what works for me, but I'm great at giving support!!

I do identify with trying not to focus so much on food. I seem to be doing that and I do not like it. I want it just to become second nature to me, something I don't have to concentrate on. Not to wonder about what my next food will be and when will I get to eat it. That's no good for me. Like you, I tend to let other areas languish (my housework, yardwork, etc.). I'm hoping my lifestyle changes will work their way into my life and become a comfortable routine for me.

I'm glad you're here! Welcome home!

Hello Annie ! HEy, perhaps we ought to moderate a chat thread about Constructive Distractions from Food... about our homes, our hobbies, our dreams, our exercise ... what do you think?

As a fellow forty-something, here is the plan I would recommend to you, to start with:

1. Make sure you are getting 7 to 8 solid hours of sleep each and every night. This is extremely important. Doing this, as a 40-something, may require measures such as giving up caffeine, exercising every day, setting a very regular schedule for yourself, perhaps even taking melatonin. Sleep is even more important at our age, and yet it's harder to do than it was 20 years ago.

2. Whatever you're going to do, commit to doing it for at least 30 days. From your previous posts and your history here, it seems to me like you tend to flit from idea to idea and rapidly change your plan. That's not an approach which will really produce results for you. You can't really figure out what does and does not work for you without careful observation of patterns and rhythms over time, so you will need to pick something (anything) and stick with it for at least a month to see how it works.

3. I would strongly recommend that you consider quitting all sugar / honey / agave nectar / white flour / corn / potatoes / white rice / white anything for at least 30 days. Again from your previous posts, sugar and processed carbs seem to be a trigger area for you. From personal experience I can say that if you are a sugar/carb addict, it is impossible to calm your mind and soul down about food when you are actively involved in the addiction. If what you really seek is sanity with food, then quitting the simple/processed carbs will vastly improve your mental, emotional, and physical state around food. (Many other chickies can attest to the same thing.)

4. Once you have those things down, figure out the exercise.

Good luck to you.

Thanks WarMaiden. I do get 8 or more hours of sleep , though I toss and turn with night sweats, I seem to get enough sleep. I am sticking to my Plan for 30 days, because I am plugging into lifestyle changes, incrementally, it's not a "plan" just to lose weight, but a Life Plan, of losing and maintaining a new body at a whole new age. I swear, I have been thinking like my athletic 30's mind all the way through my 40's years, no wonder I've put on 40 extra pounds since turning 40.

Hi Hermit Girl,

I noticed you didn't invite the guys into your thread, but I had to crash the party. I'm brand new around here so what do I know about forum etiquette. I'm also 48 and not too thrilled with the demographics of the general forum. I've been battling this monster longer than some of them have been alive.

Anyway, I related to your whole post. Especially the carb/fat combo issue. Pizza, burger, quesadilla -- those are a few of my favorite things. And the way certain diets get you constantly thinking about food. It's like torture. I'm with you there too. I don't have the answers, but I also think most of my battle is mental, and figuring out how to get disciplined and focused and not cheat and stick with it -- many a plan will work if all those things are happening.

So WarMaiden/Sara gave me the same advice in my introduction thread, and I just had a long talk with the pantry about it. I'm going to approach this by first eliminating the white stuff. She's giving solid advice, even the bit about food addiction.

Good luck and thanks for putting a bunch of my feelings into words.

Check out this great website/blog about positive ways to make/deal with change...I'm almost done reading the book : ) http://www.first30days.com/

BibBob, my sincere apologies ! I think at one part in my post I included 'gents', but another part excluded . Truthfully, in all my posting, you are the first gentleman who's made himself present, and it's a delight for me ! Thank you for pointing out my gender-specific approach, and I will no longer be.

I happen to think the whole weight issue ~gaining & losing ~ is mostly mental, self-image oriented, and though I haven't done a lot of studying neuroplasticity (the buzz word these days) , I am very, very interested in how it applies to our self-image in relationship to eating and exercising. I happen to believe we are a sum of life's experience, even more so than genetics (or at least equal), and our self image is shaped so much by our random chance peer group.... Uh oh... I will end up going on and on....

Cut short : I believe there is SO MUCH to be said for attitude change, and very little to be said about formal diets. One is a program, the other is for life. I am not into programs, though I sometimes feel there is no choice... but then, there's my hopeless distrusting voice again. If you care to, message me and we can develop those ideas, or I might just start a thread about it (coming up?).

About having The Talk with your pantry, I think all those things mentioned are not program oriented, but lifestyle, so yes, I agree... out with bad empty food, for good, because there's so much yummy healthy WHOLE food to be eaten in it's place !

Thanks, ~ Jen

What do you think about a thread discussing a 'program' about studying our self-image through our thought patterns, also known formally these days as Neuroplasticity? I have a couple books I'm reading on the subject of neuroplasticity : "Evolve Your Brain" by Joe Dispenza, who also was part of the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know" which I strongly suggest seeing. (a documentary about how we can very much affect our thoughts, therefore our actual physical body, even on a cellular level. Also a book I haven't started yet, but plan to called "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge. Apparently the exercises of visualization are key. Why so many of us will drive to a gym, or grunt our complaining bodies out for a grueling workout, but fail to try to sit calmly and exercise their imagination, is in itself, a true mystery. Myself included ! ;-)

I challenge everybody to begin looking beyond the diet 'program' aspect of weightloss, and into healthy lifestyle, using these tools of study. Anybody interested?

Hermit - Love the idea! I discovered my new "Bible" in The Divine Matrix by Gregg Braden, and it's reshaping my beliefs about everything. If you heard an horrific screech about five months ago, it was my paradigms shifting without a clutch. And because I am struggling worse with the impending END of my weight loss far more than I did with the beginning, I am sure it has a lot to do with my preconceptions about what Maintenance is like. I'm spending time over in Maintainers to try to get ready for it.

Haha... no need to apologize. I was just poking at you. Us gents must be outnumbered 100-1 here, so posts like yours are understandable, expected and I wasn't at all offended. I couldn't find a more informative set of forums to join so here I am -- an anatomically incorrect fat chick. I thought about coming in drag, but that would probably backfire.

See, I joke a lot.

Hey though... to the rest of your thoughts. Yeah yeah yeah. We are really on the same page here. Brain evolution. Nice approach to what I think could be an answer for a lot of struggling people. We probably yo yo because we haven't changed our true selves, just the surface/shallow self. I could get into this topic.

My head is really running with ideas. I home schooled my kid one year rather than have her held back and I. I saw her as a very bright young girl with some 'synaptic issues' that needed addressing. So I was a homespun armchair child psychologist for 9 months and she came out of it testing higher than the peers that were leaving her behind. I still can't get her to pick up her room, but she is back in public school getting As and Bs.

We can definitely try to start a "program" for this. I don't care for most diet ideas either. But where you're headed here really seems to address the underlying issue -- for me anyway.

Hi-- can I horn in? I don't usually post in the forty-somethings, but I'm another 48-year-old here....

I was morbidly obese for about twenty years until I finally decided to take charge of the situation.

I guess, Hermit Girl, that I'm not totally sure about your idea that you are thinking too much about food. I used to think about it ALL THE TIME-- eating, wanting to eat, thinking about eating, planning to eat... not wanting to eat, trying not to eat, etc.

I still think about food a lot, but not in that obsessive way.... I track food and count calories and do all the stuff that I convinced myself for twenty years I "couldn't do" because they "wouldn't work for me..."

I thought I had a bizarre psychological quirk that made it impossible for me to lose weight by using any of those strategies because it would just cause me to obsess and crave more.

And guess what? I was wrong. Those were just excuses. I had to lose weight the old fashioned way, which involved, in part, giving up a twenty year ingrained habit that I "couldn't."

YMMV. But I think I played every single mental trick in the book with myself-- each one of them ultimately allowing me to scarf donuts and jelly beans like a toddler let loose in a candy store....

Finally, I realized that was not going to work any more.

I am 34 ~i count calories & have lost 103.1 pound in 17 months & 10 days.
~The key is to hang in there! I thought just like u did that counting calories was keeping my mind more on food~but I never gave up~I done horrible at it my first month & still lost 13.3 pounds~The key is to teach ourselves how to eat the appropriate amounts.~I sure wish u would consider counting calories again~it is hard until u get use to it then your stomach starts to shrink along with u & u become really good at it & Its a super way to lose those pounds for free & effectively~HUGS TO YA! NEVER GIVE UP REGARDLESS OF WHAT U CHOOSE!!

I will be 46 this year and I started changing my eating habits back in August of 2009. I calorie count and keep a simple food journal, it works for me. Every day I try to walk to exercise, usually I do this at work on my breaks. I get in 5 to 6 veggies and/or fruit a day, I chew slowly now, only have junk food or fast food a few times a month.....just changes I made gradually.

I wish you much luck

Hi. I am 41 and I am doing "Atkins" for the second time. I lost 85 pounds in 2003 on ANA and gained it all back...

I am back again - for good. I have lost 33 pounds since 1/4/10. 50-60 more to go and I am committed to do it and keep it off. Atkins works best for me because I am never hungry.

I have the same issues Hermit Girl - WAY food obesessed. I am also a former bullemic. I am trying to replace my normal emotional eating reactions with light exercise, so far so good. Now I get stressed and the first thing I want to do is take a walk - much healthier than scarfing down everything in sight!