I'm 67, not hot but don't look my age. Have you all ever thought about volunteering for something in your community? Many organizations use volunteers so you can find something. When you give to others, you value more what you have. I visit patients in nursing homes who have no family and work on reading with 2 students at the elementary school. It's very rewarding.

43 and hoping to love myself
 

Pinkie, there are so many people just like us. Over 40 and overweight. We can do it, there is so much happiness out there just waiting for us to enjoy. I decided on the 1st I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Being overweight is such a burden on a person's body and soul. I love food and I love to cook, the cool thing is that I am learning how to turn my fun cooking time into healthy cooking time. I never realized how much bad foods I had been cooking with. I can make almost everything I used to make, just a healthier version. I have not got the ambition to get off my butt and do exercising yet, but that is next on my agenda. Everyone here is so wonderful and give such amazing support that if you hang in here you will get to feeling better about your self and be ready to get off that extra weight. It took quite a while to put it on, so don't be surprised if it takes a bit to get it off but once its done it will be an amazing new you! :hug: We are all here for you!

I'm kind of in mid-life crisis mode as well. Lately I've been feeling that I'm in the wrong place, or the wrong job or kind of just living someone else's life. It's hard to explain but I feel like I need to make a big change. I'm back on the fitness track and I feel good about that, but....I may need more, I dunno.

My kids are grown; one is away at college and the other is 21 and has his own life, job, friends, etc. I work with a good bunch of people, but it's a high-stress situation. There are plans and procedures in place to ease the stress, but if it doesn't start easing up soon.....I dunno how much longer I can do it, to be honest. I don't have a romantic partner in my life and wish that I did, but for so long I've just felt that I'm too heavy, that nobody would be interested in my middle-aged body! On top of all that, I live in a small town literally in the middle of nowhere, so opportunities to meet people are really limited.

I had been paying for a gym membership but hadn't been for a couple of years, so I went in and quit about 10 days ago with the plan of buying an elliptical to put in the dining room. :) Now I'm wondering if that was a mistake; maybe going to the gym would be good for me, just to get me out of my routine?

It's terribly bad form to quote myself, I know! But I meant to mention this: I read in another thread that one poster's theory is that being overweight can be a function of one's life getting smaller. The smaller our lives become, the more we rely on food to fill the gaps for comfort, companionship, and boredom. This made a TON of sense to me, so thank you, Mystery Poster--that really clicked with me and that is what has prompted me to think about ways of expanding my life!

And with that--I have posted my 20th post!

Just to put in my two-cents......I also had been going through a mid-life "slump" for about 3 years--I just turned 45 and feel tons better the last 6 months than I had. But, I still have my ups and downs and still trying to cope with many changes in my life recently, our move, career issues, feelings of accomplishment or fulfillment, unrealized dreams, not to mention aging in general. Did anyone see Oprah about a week or so ago when she talked about this very same subject, and apparently this is all-too-common with us--a lot has to do with the inevitable hormonal declines and imbalances we are experiencing and how they affect our personalities and mood and overall mental health between ages 36-50?

Not that I believe everything I hear or read, but I do think that is certainly a big part of what is going on with me--my looking backward, life re-assessment, my inner b**ch coming out, my emotional ups and downs, etc.

And I have a strong, 22-year-marriage, and he is doing his best to be supportive, (bless him!) but I can see why some women go through major life overhauls during this time, including divorce and career changes.

Hang in there Pinkie! There are certainly others in your situation here!!

I did see this, modcat, and I intend to ask my doctor to check my hormone levels when I see her next week. I notice that Oprah (or her guest?) said that a lot of women are being treated for depression when really it's a hormone adjustment that they need. Well, I've been struggling with depression for YEARS. I had a hysterectomy over 10 years ago so I have no idea whether or not I'm in menopause, headed that way, or what. (I'm 47 so something is probably going on, but my poor Mom was still menstruating at 53 so who knows!?)

Anyway--that could definitely be contributing to the way I'm feeling.

I read in another thread that one poster's theory is that being overweight can be a function of one's life getting smaller. The smaller our lives become, the more we rely on food to fill the gaps for comfort, companionship, and boredom.

this does make a lot of sense....even though I am a very busy person...have lots of friends and try to stay active...I don't think I am doing enough for ME. Food does become a bit of a crutch....I find that I will reach for some thing sweet or chocolate...when I am not really hungry at all, but do crave something.

Being divorced...and into a bit of dating...I do feel alone and lonely sometimes...food helps, but that is just WRONG, and I know it.

Ok...I think a light bulb...a little one just went on. Thanks for posting that.

take care,
Sandra

Society has us believing that the good life is only for those under 30 yrs. This is so they can make us consumers of their goods! From the sound of your post (things may have changed for you by now as this is an older thread) it seems that you are at a point of personal 'evolution'. Maybe its time to think about doing something you have not yet done, looking at yourself in a new light as well as losing weight to feel good. How about a mini-makeover with your hair? Even just a 1/4 of an inch can make someone feel brand new.

You do NOT need to give up food! It can still be your biggest excitement! How about learning how to cook international and/or gourmet meals healthfully and practice portion control - make food a new healthier friend, not your enemy because hunny, a girl has got to eat!

I feel youthful simply because I am always evolving. I take calculated risks and change things up now and again while enjoying some things that are steady and comfortable. In 2006 I went scubadiving in Thailand and I'm deathly afraid of deep water and fish! lol This past Summer I spent 6wks working at a S. American archaeological site. I am improving my spanish and am becoming an archaeologist as I continue to work my comfort tax biz.

You are NOT a frump - you are EXACTLY the same person you were at 20, just with a few alterations. ;)

archychick....good for you getting into scuba diving...I have always wanted to try it...and I will. I recently got into kayaking..(in the summer)....love being on the water, gliding along, taking in all the scenery.

I think that mid-life doesn't have to be a "CRISIS" at all...it can be an "awakening"...or just making a decision to be more purposeful in ones life. It can be small steps. The other day I had a wonderful massage by a professional massage therapist! (don't know why I don't do that more often)...it felt so great.

Again, doing things for myself, because they are good for ME...is a step in the right direction.

cheers all, Sandra

I was a size 10 when I turned 40.
Thanks to a few major life crises I am currently a 16.
But I think the reason I don't let my age get me down so much is because I know what I am capable of achieving. I know I was a size 10 and I know I can get there again.

Another magical thing happened when I turned 40 - I started questioning that little voice inside my head. Things that I've wanted to try for ages that I just never did because that little voice said "Oh, but if I fail, I'll have wasted time, money, effort...."

I started asking "So what am I really afraid of? How can I tell myself no to something I've never tried? If I never try, then I have failed already. "

Since then, I've taken up furniture refinishing and LOVE IT. Those Home Improvement tasks that I had discussed with my hubby for years and years?
I finally started making shopping lists for the supplies we need and we started doing all of those projects. My home has become so much more enjoyable to live in because it is an example of small successes that Hubby and I have accomplished together.

Your 40's are the years you ought to be spitting in Fear's Face. You still have the energy to do things. You're still working earning income to afford things you dream of. So why not start making those dreams come true?

Granted, I hate that my hair is getting gray and my face isn't as smooth and tight as I would like it to be, and my hips, stomach and thighs are much wider than I want them to be. But I'm not afraid to make the commitment to make these things change as well.

Think positive and you can do anything!

I agree with the need to always be learning something new! I am turning 42 next week, and honestly forget how old I most of the time. I can't remember too many times in my life I wasn't in school for something.. 2 BA's, certificates, painting classes, and currently I am earning my Graduate in Gemology from GIA. Get out there and learn something new..keeps your brain young :)

Here's a list of free classes online:
http://distancelearn.about.com/od/on...reeClasses.htm

Wow! This is exactly how I have been feeling lately! I have thought that I needed to talk to a professional about my life and feeling. I have so much to be happy about, but I hate my life...mainly because I'm so fat and feel unhealthy. I'm 48, going to be 49 in March. I have a wonderful husband, a six year old daughter, that loves her Mommy so much, two year old triplets that love that Mommy stays home with them. My parents live with us too. My father is severely disabled due to a massive stroke 7 years ago. My mom is disabled too, but not nearly as bad as my father. I am mother and caregiver to all in my house...No time for me. I feel old, fat and feel like I don't know how to lose the weight any more.
This thread has opened my eyes somewhat. I need a new start...I am starting a meal delivery service tomorrow and need to have a better attitude. Maybe go for a walk with the kids in the stroller later this afternoon. Getting out of the house would help.
Thank you for starting this thread and all those that have posted. You have helped me see outside of my box today! :)
TripMom

I started going to a new dr a couple of wk's ago for my perimenopause & she had me get the book 'Body for Life for Women" It really helped me figure out why it's hard to lose weight after 40 (i'm 47) it's all abt your hormone's why we gain and why it's so hard to lose ,and why it was so easy to lose like we did back in our 20's & 30's.. I wish i had been told abt this book long ago,

Me too!
 

I just came over to this forum. I will be 41 on March 1st and I am feeling much the same as you are, I have three kids, a married daughter, who is 19 and expecting her second child (so Im a grandmother already) and I have two boys who will be 16 and 18 in March. My hubby and I have been married 21 years and Im feeling useless, and like Im just getting older and sometimes I feel like my purpose in life is over. I want to get this weight off me so I can feel young and healthy again. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone!

Welcome!!! I'm 42 and honestly feel better than when I was in my 20's! You are certainly not a wet blanket, just being honest. You ARE SO WORTH IT AND CAN DO THIS!! Life is all about making choices and you've decided to make a positive change -good for you!!! We're here to support each other and work towards our goals. You can do this!! Keep us posted. :)