[ShanIAm]

Originally Posted by MissSMcC

Shan i've never been able to do the friends with benefits thing, i get emotionally involved way to easy (i wish i could because i'd be all over this guy like a rash LOL!). I think it's great you are so focused on yourself, i definately need to start taking more time for me.

Ah, well...I don't think it's necessarily "great" that I am so focused on myself. LOL In fact, I wish I had the ability to successfully time manage my life to where I can date AND take care of myself and still keep everyone happy. But no can do. :-)

And I am certainly not advocating a FWB situation. I know it's not for everyone. But this guy and I were truly friends before we took it to a physical level, we did have genuine feelings for each other (still do) and we both seeked validation on top of the physical part. I made the decision to stop using him as an emotional crutch.

But to you I say --- If you can continue taking care of yourself in your weight loss journey (mental and physical) and there is a guy out there that likes you for YOU, I say go for it! What do you have to lose? My only question to him would be is he still gonna think you are awesome when you are not fluffy anymore?

[MissSMcC]

Shan in an ideal world we would have time for everything, but its not an ideal world and so often we put our own needs last. It can be quite tough to say no to other things in order to get something for ourselves (gym time, the right food etc, like you said), but it needs to be done!
The fluffy thing has crossed my mind, i did a bit of snooping and found an old POF profile of his, the women he likes are definately bigger than i intend to be, but saying that he has already said he likes me, and there are other things about me that differ from his usual type. Anyway my weight loss and health are whats most important.

[milliondollarbbw]

First off, don't let your weight prevent you from dating.

You are a beautiful person, and the right person will come along and let you know that they feel the same.

I would only suggest taking a break from dating to get over the past relationship----take time to realize good things and bad things in the relationship, and ways to improve and things you deserve in a relationship, etc. Just time to help you get back to your good self and then enter into a new relationship.

[MiZTaCCen]

The weird thing for me now is the guy I'm currently dating said to me yesterday...You are way too skinny now. I'm still 13 pounds away from my goal and I'm just like this is me, and I'm still going to lose weight so you might want to make up you're mind now if you want to be with a skinny girl or not is you're choice. He's a chubbier guy but you he knew from the beginning before we met I was on a weight loss journey. I don't believe at my height 140 is too low. Plus it's not like I'm like omg I can't eat that I'm fat. I'll go out and endulge and enjoy dinner out. I'm not the typical dieter where I count calories or say omg I can't eat that because blah blah blah. I eat healthy, I also eat bad stuff but in moderations and you know what it works for me. So go out there, love yourself and make the guy love you for who you are, personality is more key then anything really.

[manders01]

Originally Posted by Eliana

I need more examples please!! I need a "places to go for Dummies" run down. Thanks for this! Crazy that I don't know how to "go out" but I don't!

Sorry I didn't reply sooner! Bad Manders!

Well, some I listed but I go to bookstores, out to see bands, ballgames, out with friends (guy and / or girl, that qualifies for me as I'm still approachable), festivals / fairs (should be lots of those coming up), out for a drink or coffee on a patio, trivia night / pool - dart - card tournaments at bars, art exhibits, got to the library, etc.

Some other things that I don't make a special effort to do but I'm still out in public and approachable are shopping (grocery or otherwise) and walks in the park.

The big key for me is being somewhere where I am approachable. That is the key for me to make it a good place to go.