I guess I would categorize myself as a bi-polar dieter. I'm all over the map emotionally.
I have lost 20+ pounds since January 4th by making heathly decisions and not so healthy one's. It all depends on the day. A few weeks ago I joined a gym and go no less than 5x a week -- cardio and weights. And on the days I don't go, I feel like a big fat failure. I weigh myself every morning and the number on the scale dictates my mood. My clothes are falling off me and I was able to fit into a skirt I haven't worn in over 4 years but when I look in the mirror, nothing has changed. Common sense tells me I lost weight because of the clothes and other people have noticed -- but I don't see it yet.
I really want to do Atkins but I'm terrified of eating butter and cheese and fatty meat. I made a food list but I'm embarressed to go shopping for these things for fear some STRANGER will laugh at the fat chick loading up on pounds of butter, heavy cream and burger patties.
I admit to wanting to lose weight 1st and foremost for the vanity aspect. I want my sexy confidence back! But on the flip side, the thought of a man giving me attention makes me uncomfortable.
I came to this message board and started reading my heart out. It helped me feel like less than a freak. I'm sorry about all the struggles I have read about but the inspiration it has given me is priceless.
I hope that soon I'll be an inspiration to others!
-Shannon