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Old 05-18-2010, 10:56 AM   #9
Windchime
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,088

Height: 5'11"

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I have a close friend (over 20 years), and it took her 8 months to notice that I had lost over 50 pounds. She just plain didn't notice, but I don't think she was ignoring it--just clueless! You've lost a lot more than that, so one would think your friend would have noticed by now.

Assuming that she has noticed, I am wondering if she's not feeling scared that you are changing so drastically and she is not. That you are doing some mysterious, impossible thing that she feels she can't do. As far as the shopping, I totally get that. There is no way I would go plus-sized shopping with someone who had to either hang around outside Lane Bryant while I bought my fat pants or (worse yet!) a thin friend who came in to help me find a size 22 in a stack of jeans. That's not a reflection on a friend; I would just feel so sad and embarrassed because I felt sad and embarrassed about myself all the time when I was heavier.

I vote along with the chicks who are saying that maybe it's time to have an open dialog. Nothing accusational, just, "What's going on? I miss you, I miss hanging out with you and it seems like we aren't as close as we used to be."

One last thing to remember: Some friendships are only for a season. Sometimes they wane away, and that's OK. It doesn't mean you were never friends, it can just mean that the season for this friendship is ending. It's sad, but that's the nature of some relationships.
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