I started over on Dec 15 of 2009 after gaining back all the 80 pounds that I lost in 2006 plus some. On Dec 15, I was the highest weight I have ever been at 283. In 12 weeks, I have lost 24 pounds and have lost over 20 inches and I am down one pant size from 24 to 22. I have lost this weight with mainly staying on plan (calorie counting), but still eating out on several occasions and doing WATP 3-4 times a week and going to the gym at least one day a week. So, here is what has happened in the last few days:
Thursday: good during day, and then went out for dinner with friends and a few beers--so not horrible
Friday: good during the day, then Friday night hubby grills pork chops and they are awesome and I nibble on 2 (consuming the majority of those 2) and then we sit down to a late dinner and I eat 2 more. Did not work out.
Saturday: hubby and I go out to lunch at a new mexican restaraunt, which had no good choices. So I made bad choices and consumed 2/3 of my meal. Did not have too much for dinner. Went to the gym, but just kind of messed around in the pool with my friends.
Sunday: kind of grazed all day (not good grazing), then hubby grilled steaks. I told myself for the last 3 days that I could have the steak, but I would only eat less than 1/2 of it. Well, needless to say, I ate the whole thing (it was really good) so that was about 12 ounces of red meat. Did not work out, even though I had plenty of time to do it.
So, why, when I know what I should do, do I continue to make the wrong choices and bad food decisions? Especially after I have success. Maybe I am just so overwhelmed with the thought of the LONG journey I have left. Maybe I am just content to be fat. Even though I know I am not, I am miserable. I know I am inheretently lazy. I hate working out. How do I get over that? I would just rather sit around and surf the net, or watch tv than get up and move. I do okay with doing WATP Monday-Wed, but then as the week goes on, and the more tired I get, the less apt I am to do it. Oh, who am I kidding? I won't work out Thursday and Friday. But, then I will go to the gym on Saturday and do a mediocre workout with hubby, but I am really not into it. And then, I will not work out on Sunday, because that's my day of rest...NOT LIKE THURSDAY AND FRIDAY HAVEN'T BEEN DAYS OF REST TOO.
I am really angry with myself right now. Why can I not get this figured out? It seems to be that grilled food (my hubby is quite the chef on the grill) is a trigger of mine, but I can't just avoid it. We do a lot of camping in the summer and so this is something I have to figure out how to deal with. Any suggestions? I thought that we could just grill the food that we are going to eat that night, but hubby says, then its not worth it to even start the grill. Because he is a charcoal griller, not a gas griller and so I totally see his point on that.
Another thing I do to myself is this. My weigh in day is Thursday. If I have a good weigh in, I tell myself that Thursday can be my free day....but then that stretches into the weekend, and then I think, its ok, you have 4 days to put the hammer down and get the weight off you just put back on. Why, oh why is my method of thinking so screwed up?
If anyone has any insight, that would be great. I am sorry for the rambling, incoherent rambling, I am just really upset with myself right now.