The Limited! The Limited, people!! You know, where all those skinny teenage girls buy short-shorts and stuff.
So I needed a really nice sweater. And all mine are too big, even the ones from the last time I lost all this weight, because back then I had a flabby midsection and needed them to be baggy. So off I goes to the mall.
I shopped at several department stores. At one, a saleslady came up to ask if I needed help. "Are you shopping for Christmas presents?" No ma'am, I'm shopping for a sweater. "Then you are in the wrong department! You should go downstairs!" Uh, I was in the plus-size section. I got tossed out of the plus-size section!!
So off I went. I was going past The Limited and they had some cute sweaters in their window. I haven't been inside one since college, when it was still Limited Express. So I go in. I found the really cute sweater section, and got an XL. I figured it'd be too small but what the hey, nobody had tossed me out yet.
So I go and try it on. Uh. It was too big.
I AM NOT THE LARGEST SIZE AT THE LIMITED! Wow! I could have been shopping there for months! I had to trade that XL in for an L. I keep telling you people this is surreal, but that was REALLY surreal.
So anyway, I am not the largest size at The Limited. I tried an L on, and it fit. In fact it fit great. So I bought two.
Sorry to keep boring you all with my surrealities, but, good lord. I am not the largest size at The Limited.