Idealmuse -- I guess it's what's important to you... % of starting weight? % of ultimate goal? I still don't have an ultimate goal, so starting weight made sense.

Amy -- It's okay to have a bad weekend. And don't beat yourself up about it (tho it doesn't sound like you are) and learn from it for the future...

I try to do what I can to bring healthy snacks when I have a situation like that... so I can at least not get ravenously hungry, which is dangerous for me. And then you have to make do sometimes. You might want to think about what you could do to make something like that better in the future, while still acknowledging some occasions are special, too. I guess what I'm saying is to try to find the balance!

Annie -- Good to see you posting again! I hoped to post another lost this week, but while the scale was down to 186 yesterday, it wasn't today (my official weigh in). I'll see what it looks like tomorrow... But I am trying to focus less on the scale and find other ways of seeing myself as healthier. This is getting easier because I am willing and able to do so much more these days! It's like the reverse of a vicious cycle... I look better and can do more so I seek out new opportunities, which I can do and make me feel better and look better and... etc... Does the "reverse vicious cycle" have a name???

trixiepixie -- have you joined our exercise thread? It was designed for people just like you! Just set a goal (maybe a small one) of how many minutes you want to exercise for the month and then work your best to meet it! You've committed to good eating, commit to exercise!

Brenda – Did you make it to your aquafit class? I hate cleaning things like basements. Yesterday I completely cleaned out the fridge. It was long overdue, but boy it is a job I hate.

Ammi – Your story of being at the amusement park was awful. I haven’t been to one in years because of that very thing.

Valerie – Way to go on getting all of your food prepped in advance. Having something ready makes it so much easier to stay on plan. I hope your job interview goes well.

Chrissy – Congrats on the 3 pounds and also getting noticed! I am so sorry about what happened to you when you were young. At least you are able to identify those feelings and work with them now.

Idealmuse – I friended you on LJ. I haven’t actually written anything in my journal in the longest time, but I hope to get better about it. Another Strongbad lover!

Michelle – I almost never drink my calories anymore. I used to have a Coke with lunch often and I almost always put sugar in my coffee – it is scary to think how many calories I used to drink in a day. I now almost never miss it. Occasionally I will have a ginger beer (since I can’t get a good one in diet form) but that’s about it.

Melissa – I hope you see some changes with the tape with how hard you have been working. You can definitely see a change in your picture.

Zelma – Your prep for your colonoscopy sounds like no fun. As horrible as it is to do all this it is definitely much better to catch any issues as early as possible. Sending you :.

Trixie – That first step is definitely the hardest. Once it is in your routine however, it becomes SO much easier. I don’t even let myself think about it anymore – I just go. I know that some days I won’t have as much energy as others, but it feels good to have shown up.

Annie – You said you are doing the Curves program at home – do you mean the eating part? Is your new house fairly close to Curves? I wasn’t sure if you moved nearby to where you were before or if it was a ways away from your old place.

Amy – I am glad you had such a great time at the wedding. The story about your niece was so cute. I am glad your sister took it in stride. Definitely don’t worry about the personals if you don’t have time. No stress!


Yesterday I had a possible final straw with the BF about money. I don’t think he knows how I was because I honestly didn’t know what to say – I was that blown away. He started talking about how he really wants a super fancy espresso machine – like something from Williams Sonoma. We’re talking like $500 here. He was on this website and showing me different models and features. He said he would “save up for it” – by which he meant that he would wait to buy it until after he had made a few more payments on his credit cards. I don’t even want to say how much he owes, but I will just say that it is more than $10,000.

The thing is that he rarely drinks espresso from the cheap machine we have now. I have been putting off buying a new sofa (and by sofa I mean something cheap from Ikea) – something that we both use every day – for years because I didn’t feel we could afford it with his debt. But he thinks it is ok to drop $500 on an espresso machine? I am beyond appalled. Now if he was totally flush with cash, had no debt and had money in the bank and wanted to spend his money on something that frivolous, then fine, whatever. I asked him how could he think about spending that much on something when he owed so much and when there were other things on the list? He said that he should be allowed to save up for and buy things he wants. *pop* (sound of my head exploding)

It hit me that it will never change. He just doesn’t get it. I can’t build a life with someone who would do something like that. I just don’t feel ready to confront him about it, but with that kind of thinking I just don’t see a future in this relationship. I both kinda hope he does and doesn’t read this. I know he knows where I post and since it is public he could come and see this.

I feel like my life is falling apart. The relationship I thought was it is basically over. My job could disappear at any minute. I am scared as about being alone and unemployed. My brother lives in Hawaii and my father and stepmother are both unemployed and couldn’t really help with anything other then moral support from a distance (they live about 4 hours away). I have never really made any good friends since living in this area – I spent all my time with my BF. I do have money in the bank, so I would be ok for awhile. I have been in MUCH worse circumstances and found my way out. I feel like I should be doing something about all this, but I am not. I am just going along with my day to day as if all is ok. I know at some point I am going to break, but I don’t know when that will happen.

Wow – I can’t believe all of that just came out. I really wasn’t planning on saying all of that. Right now I am just very confused Maybe I could go spend a weekend at my parents or something to get some time alone to think.

hi all - just had to share a NSV for yesterday. i was working on a shoot with ALL kinds of junk food and when my points ran out, i stopped eating - this was a 14 hour day, but when i was out of points (and flex - no i didnt eat all 35 yesterday) i did not eat anything else

yay

Hey everyone. Well I didn't make it to the pool last night. I did however finish the basement and vegged out a bit on the couch. I knew I was in for a stressful day today so I bailed on the exercise. Going to get a bit in tonight though and then tomorrow will be full speed ahead at the pool again. I couldnt find anyone to play with last night *L*

I am counting the days till I switch dept's at work. I swear the one I am in now is going to give me gray hairs! There are only 3 of us and one of the girls is so unreliable and lazy that it makes me sick! I have went to my sup 2 times now about her but she is a union rep and frankly I think he is scared of her. Drives me nuts!!!!

I got in 2 arguements this morning, one with my CPAP people as I was diagnosed in Nov last year and still have yet to receive my own apnea machine. My insurance people have been great and ready to pay but the CPAP idiots are so disorganized and stunned that they are holding everyone up. I let loose on them today!! Then I called my landlord as my oven hasnt been working right for 5 weeks. They have been here trying to fix it 4 times now and ordered a part last week. Before he left, he promised that it would be fixed by friday (last week). Yeah well, not fixed and I was off work 2 days so that someone would be home to let him in to fix it. There goes 2 of my vacation days and no oven.....grrrrrr

ok sorry, i vented but I really feel like I was on the verge all day to have crap for supper tonight. I fought the squares that were in the cafeteria all day. ewy chewy gooey chocolate thingys. I have to come up with something quick and easy so my willpower will stand. I did however realize today that maybe, just maybe I am not only a boredom eater but a stress eater as well. Great, I guess that means I eat all the time *L*

I will be back tonight for personals.. tata ladies! Be good!
Brenda

annie - did you go to your meeting?

Nancy -- I can't give you any advice in this situation except to give yourself a chance to listen to your heart. If you and BF have access to affordable counseling maybe you should give that a try, or find another way to let him know you're serious about this -- does he know how you feel? What you're thinking? Would it help to tell him?

And I know you're overwhelmed -- I know I would be. But we're learning on our weight loss journeys to take things one meal at a time and to learn how to be flexible in odd situations. Maybe you can apply some of those lessons here. (Okay, I reread that, and I'm not at all sure that made any sense whatsoever...)

You have always seemed like a smart, competent woman. If you do decide to strike out on your own, as scary as that is, I have no doubt you'll land on your feet.

Hello everyone.

Idealmuse-I guess I'm more in line with Jill here about the 10%. If I weigh 300 lbs, my first 10% goal would leave me at 270. My second 10% goal would leave me at 243. Doctors always seem to suggest losing 10% of your weight, so I think that should be your current weight. But you are right, everyone seems to have a different point of view, so whatever works well for you. Personally, I can't wait for tomorrow's weigh-in, because I am hoping to have met my first 10% goal.

Nancy- I am sorry you are so stressed right now and your life seems to be falling apart. I wish I had words of wisdom, but know that great challenges often bring great rewards. At the very least, you have a great support system here.

I posted yesterday in the exercise thread about my weekend, so sorry for those that are reading this again. I did 2 challenging hikes this weekend. The one on Saturday was the longest hike I've done in ages at 4.5 miles. The start and end of the hike was really challenging-steep and lots of boulders/tree roots to climb over. I was near tears at the end of the hike from exhaustion. On Sunday, I was convinced to do another hike because it was short (1 mile) with a great view. Yes, it was short, but it was the type of hiking where it is hand-over-hand boulder climbing. This is fine going up, but coming down, with short legs, when it is pouring rain and windy...I was totally stressed out. Late Sunday I was really ill, as I was all day today. Fever, headache, stomach issues, exhaustion... Do you think that working muscles that have not been used in years releases toxins? I can't believe I got so sick, so suddenly, unless it had something to do with the exercise. Any thoughts?

Hope everyone is doing ok. Sorry I was unable to respond to more folks.

Zelma~Yes ignorance was bliss for me for so many years. But funny thing is I wasn't blind to all the problems popping up. (Medical) I was told many times I was going to get full bown diabetes but still thought pigging out was worth it. I totally agree with everything you said though. Thanks for sharing! And good luck with the test.

Kim~Yes soda is really bad for me. I for sure was addicted to coca cola! lol
Good luck on your test! Hope you get a good grade!

Trixie~Yes I was missing the taking action part for years. It was like I wanted to lose weight more than anything...but wouldn't get my butt off the couch! lol Good luck with getting back into the excercise..that is what I am trying to do now.

Annie~Thanks so much! At this point with my weight I just have to be honest because I have to know how/why I got to 300 plus. And I have got to do something even if its a slow process at least I am moving in the right direction!

Nancy~Yes it is scary how much coke I used to drink! I don't even want to know about how much I drank in a week!
I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. I understand the whole issues with money. I have had problems like that before with my now husband. Its a tough situation. And I see why you are so frustrated. Like you said maybe you should if you can take a weekend to just relax and think. I hope things turn around for you hun. Take care..and it will all turn out ok.


Brenda~sorry you are having a hard time at work. That sort of stuff would drive me crazy! Oh and I know what you mean about stress eater. I am so a emotional and stress eater...yeah which means I wanna eat all the time! lol

PPP~Congrats on your NSV!

Jen~I am not sure about the toxins. I wonder if that can happen? I dunno.
I'm sorry you are sick! Hope you feel better soon. And also WTG on the hikes!


Well not much going on here. I did my walking and 5 pound weight lifting today. And I am so sore from walking. I am not sure if I am sore from excercise or the extra weight pushing on my back. I am sure it will get better as I get used to it. Well I hope you all have a good evening! Take care!

Michelle

I don't really have a lot of time, taking a quick break from hitting the books. I updated my signature- decided I like the idea of 10% of total weight loss goal. Then I figured out what that was and I really liked it, because I didn't realize, but all along I've been only 1 pound away from my first 10% goal. I have to admit taking such a small chunck is more likely to keep me motivated. In fact- i don't even want to see the big goal right now. Instead I decided to put my goal for when I get to go shopping !!! Anyway- got to hit the books some more. I hope eveyone is doing well.

wyllenn--That's a good idea, to bring snacks w/me. I really didnt try very hard this weekend, I admit...

Nancy--I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I hate to say it but I really think you are right, he probably wont change. You are right that you cant build a life with someone who is consistently and unrepentently so irresponsible with money like this. And "saving up" does NOT mean paying off enough on your credit cards just to charge them back up again. And if he IS going to to do that then I would definetly think a new sofa would take priority over an espresso macihne, especially if he doesnt even use the cheaper one you guys have now. I stayed w/a guy for 3 years that was very irresponsible and very disrespectful of my feelings when it came to money. I tried to ignore it or think he would grow out of it or whatever, but it never happened. I know it must be scary living that far away from your relatives and not really knowing anyone in the area but it might be worth seperating if you are that unhappy.

I am also sorry to hear about your job. I know how that feels to go thru a layoff and think that maybe you could be without a job. Luckily you do have some money in savings, but I know that is little consolation at this point.

Luan--Good job on the NSV!! Yeah, you rock!! I would think it would be VERY difficult to stay OP with all those goodies constantly around!

Brenda--I know how you feel about people at work not pulling thier weight. I have complained several times to my supervisor about someone on my team who consistently does not do his share of the load. That is very frustrating. And the whole union thing? Ug, dont get me started. Unions once had thier place but IMO they have no place in the modern work world.

I'm sorry to hear about the CPAP machine. That is definetly not what I expected, that the insurance co is ready to pay and the CPAP people are dragging thier feet--usually its the other way around!!

Oh, my landlord is a total slum lord, he never fixes anything. They let all sorts of scum move in and out of our building. They do no credit or background checks on these people--if they have money they let them move in, its ridiculous.

I'm right there with ya with temptations in the cafeteria--I resisted the rice crispie bars laced w/m&ms today!! Hee hee.. I think I've figured out that I'm a food soother. I use food to reward myself or soothe myself after a hard day. "I had a bad day, I deserve _____" Yeah, not good.

Nat and I talked about when I would be moving to KC yesterday. I think I figured out that my last day at work here will be 10/27 and then I will move that weekend, and then still have till 11/1 before I have to be out of my apt here. I am going down to KC next weekend and Nat and I are going to look for a place for me. He has that Friday off so he is going to look for some apts for me, too. I am getting really excited now that its here. I still have a month left but it seems weird that this Friday when I pay my rent I have to give my 30 days notice! Then in about 3 weeks I'll be giving my notice at work! I really hope they let me work out my full 2 weeks notice. I havent worked here for very long so I hope they dont decided to just give me the boot because I really cant afford to miss out on that 2 weeks pay.

Hello All,

Good news all around to report today. First of all I had an appt with the doc who did my surgery, and after 4 years I have been given the all clear, I don’t have to go back to the hospital again Secondly, I had my WI this morning and am down another 2 lbs. And to top it all off not only did I buy some new T-shirts today in a size 22/24 (down from 30/32) but remember those jeans Sharon sent me? I got into them today and did them up and all Of course they fit like a second skin, so show too many of my fat bulges on my legs, but I am thrilled I could get into them. I think in about another 14 lbs time I will be able to wear them and look good in them

Luan– it would be wonderful if we could send up a smoke signal and find out where all the ladies are that have gone missing from the board. It’s frustrating and upsetting not knowing if they are ok or not.

Kimberly – I am glad that you are going to try to keep off the scales now until it’s your official WI. For the ladies here that can hack weighing often and coping with a gain if they see one, then it’s great. But for me, and it seems you too, it’s best to keep away from the scales until WI day. It’s too dangerous for me to weigh in the week because if I see a gain I just know I will be tempted to pig out!!

I am really glad to hear that you are feeling so much better now that you are back on track 100%. Yep you have to remember how you feel now for when you are tempted to stray off the diet track. It feels so good to be in control and to be losing, so much better than the guilt we feel when we have our bad diet days!

Wow, just 1 lb away from your first 10 % goal, that’s awesome

Valerie – I hope you will enjoy your 6 weeks at Curves. I like the look of the place, we have one in Swansea, but it’s way too expensive for my budget. Annie tells me that the charge here is way more expensive than over there. Sucks

Chrissy – oh my goodness, what a laugh I got from the turkeys you used in your explanation of a Booty Call

Congrats on your 3 lb loss and on the amazing NSVs. I am sooooooo longing for the day people come up to me and say they can notice my weight loss. I am so happy for you that so many noticed yours, you must have felt so wonderful.

Heather – I have only been exercising since June and it’s only been the last three weeks that I have added exercise to DVDS, and I am so bored already. I try to alternate the DVD I use, but it’s still boring. Thank goodness I have my Gazelle Rider, I will NEVER get bored of that

Idealmuse – when I worked out my first 10% it was 10% of 329 lbs (my starting weight)33 lbs. Then when I hit 296 the next 10% was 30 lbs, and so on and so on. I don’t really think of my loss in 10% goals now, I got to my first 10% and from then I just set mini goals of 15 lbs a time normally.

Michelle – not having junk food or soda in the house is one of the best ways to stick to a diet. It’s hard to have much of a pig out when all you have are low fat snacks like fruit etc. The other day I went 3 points over my allowance by eating some dried apricots. I actually started feeling guilty til I reminded myself that if that’s a pig out, well compared to ones of old where I would have had a load of chocolate, my 3 little points of healthy food was not a problem Funny how your lifestyle really does change when you are committed to losing weight.

Missy – did you find your measuring tape? I will be surprised if you don’t see a loss. You have been exercising well, and if nothing else all that walking should have been toning up your legs!

Jill – I hear you when you said about 2 more people posting in the time you wrote your last post. That happens to me all the time. By the time I am ready to post what I have written sometimes there have been up to 8 new posts. I should either learn to type faster or less

Zelma – believe me, the preparation for a colonoscopy are the worst part about the whole procedure, especially the laxative you have to take. Everything after that is a piece of cake. Sedative, examination, wake up, have a cup of tea Seriously I have had way too many of the examinations in my past and there is no pain. If you have spoken to people who have had it, perhaps they didn’t have enough sedative, or perhaps whatever the problem they had made the bowel extra sensitive. Who knows, but really, it’s not the norm to have any pain Oh and as they sometimes have to pump air into the bowel be prepared to be a little flatulent afterwards

Trixie – that cheese based soup sounded delicious, do you think you could have still said no to it if you hadn’t seen the ham in it? Good for you for getting the vegetarian chilli.

I hope you get back in the ‘zone’ when it comes to exercising.

Annie – why do you find WW to be more difficult to follow than Curves? I always thought WW would be the easiest because you can eat whatever you want as long as you stay in your points range. Thanks for hoping my WI was a success. Another 2 lbs so I’m happy

Amy – sounds like all went well at the wedding, even when you niece had a bit of a melt down, well a wedding isn’t a wedding unless one of the wedding party ends up having a tantrum or tears I hope you do post some photos and I look forward to seeing what your hair looked like.

Don’t worry about having a weekend of perhaps not the best food choice. It’s not often that you go to your sister’s wedding is it

Nancy – I am so sorry to hear about your falling out with your BF. I hate to say it because I am always sad when couples break up, but it really doesn’t sound like your BF is going to change. You have been so unhappy for a long time, and as much as you love him, you can’t live constantly worrying about his spending and then ending up arguing about it. Maybe it is best to finish things

I am in the same boat as you, or was when I split up from my ex. I am miles away from my family, a whole country away from my mum. I didn’t make many friends when I was married, and all my very good friends I left back in Australia. When we spilt up I was on my own. But you know what, I was so miserable when I was married to him, that being on my own wasn’t so bad. I know I had Beth too, but she was only young when we split up, so not company as such. Anyway what I am trying to say is that although you are worried about being alone, don’t stay with him because of that. I never dreamt I could cope on my own, but I did, and I am sure you will too, if need be

Brenda – NO WAY, I cannot believe that although you were diagnosed last November you STILL haven’t had your sleep apnea machine! How frustrating to know that your insurance are happy to pay for it, yet the CPAP people are just so useless! I am glad you let rip at them today, so any idea when you will actually get the machine?

Jen – sorry that you have been so unwell, and so soon after all that hiking. I have no idea if working those muscles could have released toxins that made you feel so ill. Was it particularly hot and sunny or anything when you were hiking, maybe you had a touch of sun stroke? Whatever it was/is, I hope you feel ok again now

Ok well I need to make a move now, so take care all,

Hugs,

Ammi

Ammi i am so proud for you!
Nancy i am so sorry to hear about your troubles... i hope you can work things out.

Hi guys,

Ammi: I am so happy for you for all of the great news you got today. I bet you are thrilled that you don't have to go back to the hospital! Congrats on another 2 pounds and on getting into smaller clothes. I find WW hard for me because I can eat whatever I want including sweets. I purchased some of those 1 point bars at the last weigh in and I can hardly control myself because they are so good. With Curves it is much easier for me because I know what I can eat. Maybe because they supplied me with a menu or maybe because I am just used to it. I'm not sure but I know the program so well and I was doing wonderful following it until I blew it on my birthday. So, I think I will continue to go to ww every week to get weighed in and listen to the meeting and get rewards I hope!!!! As soon as I can weigh at home I think I will stop ww meetings. I'm just confused after my bad weigh in last week when I was doing every thing right I guess.

Nancy: Big hugs to you on your big decision. I think you should go and spend some alone time to think and reflect on things. Hugs.

Amy: sounds like you had a fun time at your sister's wedding.

Luann: Congrats on staying on your program in such a tough circumstance.

I have been cleaning my house today really well. It looks pretty good except one of the spare bedrooms isn't set up much. I just can't motivate to do it. I have been procrastinating on cleaning my bathrooms and now they are spotless. I still need to hop on the bike today and do some weight lifting but then I'll be able to go outside and pull some weeds in our front circle thing. I have stayed excellently op today on Curves diet. I have been drinking tons of water too. When I am on Curves I limit myself to drinking water until my whol amount for the day is finished then I add Iced tea no sugar for my treat. I love it. lol

blessings to all my girls,
Annie/dogpal

Amy~ Food soother.... man, did that sum it up!!!! That is EXACTLY what I do! Thanks for putting it into words for me Now, how do we fix it? *L*

Ammi~ Yeah, they called me back this afternoon and will deliver it to me tomorrow without payment. I guess being a b**h really payed off

Annie~ Good for you for having a great OP day.

ok... time to go shower and snuggle in for the night. I didn't do terrible for supper. Had some salad and a mini pizza thing. Enough sodium to make ya pucker but it could have been a lot worse considering the alternative that I was leaning towards.

Have a great night everyone!
Brenda