Ammi -- Yes, it is so true that the anticipation can be better than the actual eating itself. Makes me wonder if I actually never liked those kinds of foods (like hotdogs at the ballpark) or if I was only eating them out of some sort of association? I went to the movies last week and had some popcorn. I had "budgeted" for it in my plan and was looking forward to it, but frankly it also was just not so good. And I know I used to POUND that stuff down. Was it not tasty then? Or was that not the issue.

Here's the thing. I used to think that I loved food, and that losing weight would mean eating tasteless food I didn't really like. But I've come to find out that I do LOVE the taste of many of the foods I eat now, and that a lot of the food I used to eat just doesn't taste good. Some of it may be changing tastes, but I think I lot of it was just that I didn't really taste all that food. I ate it because it was comforting, I ate it because it was there, and filled a hole, but it didn't necessarily all taste good. Whereas many of the things I choose now are just yummy and something I really DO anticipate.

btw, congrats on working through the tea issue in your head!

Sword&Canteen -- How many times? I don't know that THIS is yet the time that will work, but I can tell you it feels different for me this time, because, as I just posted on another forum, I seem to have started with the belief that my future, more healthy life is worth changing for. And now when I am confronted with the kinds of foods I used to eat without thinking I can ask myself, "Is this worth it?" The answer is usually no, but occasionally yes. Thus, foods that I haven't planned in my day I just don't eat. Yesterday I did have a hotdog at the baseball game, because I had worked it into my daily "food budget". But I hadn't worked in nachos, or ice cream, or anything else. So, I ate something before the game, had my (not so great) hotdog, and later the snack I had brought. And I was happy with my decision (though, perhaps in the future I can avoid the hotdog too!).

I don't know if that's what you were looking for...

Hi all! It's been a crazy few days since I last posted..so I'll try to bring you up to speed and comment as well.

First things first...I went to WW last night and the scale said I was down 6.6 lbs. I thought I was going to die. I have not had a loss like that in months. Now on the one hand...last wek I had my period..so I knew that the loss would reflect that, and also I weighed in at a different center earlier than usual before dinner...but nonetheless..it was a lovely loss and I am now officially BELOW MY DRIVER'S LICENSE WEIGHT...OMG!!!!

The last 2 days were Rosh Hashanah...the Jewish New Year...a very major holiday. It has been non-stop eating since Monday night...dinner at one house, lunch gathering at another, dinner elsewhere the same night, lunch gathering again yesterday, then I took Jason out for his birthday which was yesterday as well (which was why we didn't go to our normal WW meeting). But I think I was pretty good...each place had some nice options and I even felt comfortable having a small indulgence if I wanted it without going out of control. I brought a 1-point bagel with me each time so that I could have that while other people ate regular bagels. All in all I am really proud of the way I handled it.

Over the weekend, I was in Palm Desert with my high school youth group that I run. We had our annual chapter retreat...again tricky with the food, but I also did well. I brought a cooler bag full of things for me to snack on and some of my WW oatmeal cups. But I was also able to get egg whites for beakfast every morning too...so it was great. Plus in working with the hotel, I planned the menus so that theyw ere appealig and workable for everyone...my kids with allergies, my vegetarians and me. I find that when I go away places I do well on my food because I have to concentrate on it so much.

The downside of the weekend was that one of my closest friends was with me as another staff person. When I met her 3 years ago, she was recovering from GB surgery. She ended up losing 100 lbs. and was probably on her way to losing more...but the through a series of hospitalizations and other things (unrelated to the GB) she got sick for almost 2 years and has gained back most of the weight she lost...which I know is horribly upsetting to her. But she desn't do anything about it. Her appetite is screwy from all of her meds (and there are a lot of them) so sometimes she eats nothing and sometimes she loads her plate and fills it. She makes food choices that aren't so healthy..she is adicted to regular Coke and eats a lot of junk food type snacks. Well, on Friday for lunch, we took the group to Chuck E. Cheese for a surprise birthday party for one of the kids. I brought a container of edamame with me and ordered the salad bar instead of eating the pizza. I passed on the cake and was really happy about it. So when we got back to the hotel and finally got settled into our room, she totally ambushed me and ripped into me about how sick she is about hearing about my food issues and choices and dieting and losing weight and stuff...and would I please put a sock in it for the rest of the weekend because all I am doing is making her feel bad for not doing the same and taking care of herself (guilt and jealousy). I assured her that it was never my intention to hurt her feelings or make her feel bad..but now I feel like I am being judged for everything I do or don't do, everything I say, etc. I have been giving her all of my cothes that do not fit me anymore..and I feel badly for that too. What also really hurt me was the fact that before she talked to me, she went and vented to my 2 male staff members (both very cloe friends of mine that she does not know at all) about it. I think she was looking for their support and what she got was a rebuff...they told her how proud they are of me and that they think it's great that I am taking such an interest in my health. It makes me feel like we aren't as good of friends as I thought...she had to vent to strangers before she ripped into me...what's that about? Hopefully I will be able to find the time in the next few days to clear this up with her because it is rally upsetting me.

About WW leaders...one of the reasons I love my leader is because her story is real. She has ben in WW since she was about 11, and has gained and lost 80-90 lbs a few times over. When she talks about her struggles, I know they are real. I have had 2 substitute leaders who have talked about losing 20-25 lbs. and right away I tune them out. It's hard to relate to someone who was never that heavy to begin with. She also conducts the meetings based on what she knows will be the most helpful. Less psychobabble and more practical information...like alternative foods. In order to successfully win the battle with weight and food, we must have top notch weapons and be armed properly.

Yesterday was Jason's 35th birthday...we had a really lovely day and I think he was happy...I hope so anyways.

Oh and I got a really great chicken recipe...all my friend did was bake it with a package of onion soup mix and some margerine..but I am thinking I could ue FF chicken broth instead and make it in the crock pot.

Ammi...thrush/yeast infections are actually a quite common side effect of antibiotics for many people. In addition to using the regular over the counter creamsa nd meds, some people suggest eating yogurt to help combat it.

Hope everyone else is doing well...I am a little worried about next week, when it is Yom Kippur. It's a total fast day and I do not know how my body will handle it. I brought snacks with me to the synagogue the lsat 2 days because I am so used to having a snack around 11:00 or so and I started getting a little light headed without it. You are only exempt from the fast if you have a genuine medical condition, are on medication that necessitates eating food, or are pregnant. I don't really fit that description but I am worried about getting sick while at the synagogue for the entire day. Yikes!

Ok..off and running to get the day started..sorry I rambled on for so long.

Julee: I know what you mean.....I tend to listen more to people who have been where I am or have been as far as weight.

I mean, no offense to those who make goal after 25-30 lbs, but GEEZ, I can have a good bathroom break and lose 10 lbs! LOL

Oh, gosh, this killed me! Probably partially because it's SO TRUE!

Way To Go Julee with your 6.6 lbs. weight loss. That is sooooooo awesome!!! As far as your friend that had GB surgery...She is probably upset because she thought that the surgery would fix her eating problems. Well it doesn't...I have a friend that had it done and she struggles everyday with her eating. Atleast we realize we have a problem with food and are trying to change our lifestyles and make healthier choices. She probably realizes that she should have done that first before her surgery. Not that I have anything against the surgery because for some people I think it is great but me personally I have the motivation and will power to do it myself. I am going to prove to myself that I can do it. We all can do it!!!

Hi, it's me again. Tonight's tea was a WW recipe, chicken and mushroom rissotto. We all ate it, and we all loved it. My hubby even said he couldn't eat it often because it was too rich!!! A low fat meal being too rich lol. I won't cook it often anyway, but I know now that when I do the whole family can share. What's so nice is that I know my family are eating healthily too, not just me.

Julee - on losing the 6.6 lbs. Don't try to think of reasons about why it was so much. Blow it being after TOM, you have dieted, you have made fantastic food choices despite having many social occasions to attend, and you deserve that fantastic loss. Be proud my friend, you deserve it!!

I am so sorry that your friend has turned so bitter. I think Andrea hit the nail on the head when she said that your friend didn't make the lifestyle change. She had the surgery and although it had the initial desired effect, it didn't last because she hadn't made the whole lifestyle change. Yes she got ill and of course it's understandable that she would gain some weight just from leading a sedentary life, same as me over the last 3 years. BUT, I know I over ate as well, and I am sure your friend has as well. It's so disappointing for her to have gained the weight back, but I think it's so uncalled for the way she attacked you and your good food choices. She should be happy for you that you are trying to lose the weight, and if anything she shouldn't be having a go at you, she should be asking you for some advice. I hope you get to speak to her about how much she has upset you and hopefully your friendship can get through this.

Thanks for the advice on what to do for thrush. I know when I have had it before I have bought a pessary thing for it, but I want to check with the doctor that it's worth me doing. I mean if I am on long term antibiotics then surely the thrush will keep coming back. In the mean time I might buy some probioitics to take. I love my WW yogurt and it's not pro biotic. I don't want to change though, so will try the pills.

Good luck with your day at the synagogue. I think it's the best thing for you to do taking a snack with you. Then if you do feel light headed and if it's then ok for you to eat you will have something suitable to eat.

Sword and Canteen - sorry I missed your post earlier. Forget about the fact you have lost weight before and gained it back. You are starting afresh with a clean slate, and you just have to remain positive! As for me, let's see, since I was 18 I have been dieting on and off. I would lose 7 lbs or 14 and then gain it right back and some. At 18 I was 168 lbs, and after dieting on and off for 19 years got to 329 lbs. So as you can see, my diets have been plentiful as has failing them. I discovered WW in 1997 and I always lose about 30 lbs before gaining it all back again. This time I refuse to gain back the weight. I have lost 15 lbs and it's 15 lbs I refuse to put back on. Positive thinking and really believing you are making a lifestyle change really makes all the difference.

Jen415 - that is too funny what you said about losing 10 lbs after a good session on the toilet I totally understand what you mean though about feeling more inclined to listen to leaders or whoever who know what it's like to need to lose a large amount of weight. I am the same. I know it's difficult for anybody to lose weight, but at the end of the day, a woman looking to lose 30 lbs doesn't face the challenges that we do when 30 lbs is actually only 10% of our body weight.

Wyllen - I think I know exactly how you feel when you say that in the past you just ate food for the sake of it without really paying attention to if it was really tasty or not. I remember every weekend when I would have a drink or a dozen lol I would always tuck into fried egg sandwiches, or bowls of popcorn. I just stuffed it all in and although I still like popcorn, I doubt I would chose a bowl of it over my low fat hot chocolate and Rich Tea biscuits!! I am going to the Pizza Hut in November for my hubby's birthday meal. I am looking forward to it, but at the same time I can't help but think I might end up feeling disappointed in what I eat. I hope I will love it, but something tells me it's all going to seem very greasy. I think I may just go for the margherita pizza and some salad. BUT I do fully intend to have some birthday cake lol.

Well The Biggest Loser UK is about to start now, so I better finish up so I can give it my full attention. Take care all.

Hugs,

Ammi

Thanks for the support gals...I know what her problem is...it's totally evident, and we've all nailed it on the head. She made a major lifechange hoping that it would be the solution and then did not maintain the lifestyle and is now regretting her choices. it has been very unfortunate that she has been ill...she has had a few surgeries and whatnot...but still...weight loss is a choice...and you either choose to do it or you don't. I spent a long time choosing to do nothing, but I like to think that my choices are better now.

Ammi...is tea what we would call dinner? I get a little confused. Good luck with everything.

Off and running back to work...stopped for lunch and to sew up my skirt. Have a fabulous night.

Thank y'all for the warm welcome. I did go to the YMCA and apply for a family membership. I got the tour of the place and they offer some really nice services. One is a meeting with a "health expert" where they take your blood pressure and weigh you and then do something on the scale that involves you taking your shoes off and a current of electricty running through your body to measure the fat or something like that. I was still winded from the flight of stairs and did not get all of it. But the good thing is that from there they will work with you to decide a work out that will work for your abilities and they will also teach you how to use the machines properly. So I will probably do this.

Thank you for the heads up on a scale. I need one that goes over 400 as I now weigh 418. I gained 38lbs since my husband died in March of this year. Thank you Ben and Jerry's!!! This is what has brought me here. I don't want to leave my kids orphans. Most people don't think I weigh as much as I do as I am 6'2" tall, but it is not only my weight, but I am so out of shape that I have become one of those "I-couldn't-even-walk-to-my-mailbox" people. This is so not going to work for me. I did get quite a work out today though. I am buying a house and we where there today working on it and I had to go up the stairs (VERY steep stairs) about 25 times. But you know, I feel so much better today. I can feel a difference in how I feel right now after getting my heart pumping! Maybee this exercise thing will work after all.

AmmiUK, I have found that the under belly rash that I have is kept under control if I wash with an anti-bacterial soap at least once a day. But if I don't it gets weepy and smelly. I have been told that it is a yeast inbalance, but I am not sure. As far as the wound that won't heal, our family Dr. calls it "Proud Flesh" and recomended Hydrogen Peroxide to get it to heal up. I don't know why this works as I have heard that peroxide really doesn't work but just bubbles. But in all honesty, when we have a wound that won't heal we use it and the wound just closes right up. Anyway, I hope that this helps and it is not TMI.
Again, thanks y'all for the warm welcome.
God bless you and yours
Debbie

Hears the water, so sorry about you losing your husband, and congratulations on working to get healthy for your children, that is one **** of a reason. We try & lose for weddings or other special occasions, but those of us who are parents understand that we would do anything for our children and I'm sure that it will be something which will help you to keep on with whatever plan you decide to follow, keep posting, everyone here is so kind, genuine and will do their best to support you.

best wishes,
sharon

I have to brag a little bit....I got on the scale this morning and I am down another 6 pounds....I am sooooo happy. It feels so good!! Thanks girls for being so supportive. Have a great Friday!!

Andrea

Awesome Andrea!

Hi girls!!!!!! I have to run to my attorney's office, but I wanted to post really quick that I lost 5lbs this week!!!! I am stunned! I don't know why I am stunned, because I was really really vigilant with keeping under my caloric intake allowable, but I guess that I have gained for so long that losing still seems like a little bit of a dream to me!!!!

AMMI!!! Got your last email and IM! MOIA!!!!!! I will respond more when I get back from the atty office! Catch you soon darlin!

I also, will return to check on how the rest of you are doing. I did catch of glimpse of your loss Andrea!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Debbie -- I know what you mean about people thinking you don't weigh as much as you really do. I am 6'1. I guess we were both blessed with heighth. It is great that you are trying to live a healthier lifestyle especially for your kids. That should be good motivation for you. I wish you luck. We are all in this together.
Andrea