Hello everyone. I'm new to the site. I'm not sure if I should be posting this here or the general support thread but I figured since this is 300+ it may be a good start.
I am 25 years old and weigh about 435lbs. It is so embarrassing that I let myself get this bad. I actually cry when I look in the mirror so I don't. Two years ago I decided to get the lap band after years of fighting it. I lost about 60lbs and almost reschedule 350lbs. Then hit a wall and fell back into my old habits after a new job and tons of stress and well, here I am. I have had so much stress this past year between work, school and my internship I feel my depression and anxiety creeping back along with my horrible eating habits and not caring about myself/my health.
I feel like a failure and I just feel horrible about myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm 25 and I'm over 400lbs. I can'tell walk without breathing heavy and always feel like people are staring. I started to have some health issues recently with my back/leg and I had a bout of vertigo and extreme tiredness which caused my doctor to have me do a sleep study and see a rheumatologist after my blood work came back positive for an autoimmune disorder.
I have a line of appointments to get through the next two months including a new doctor for my lap band. The other one I just didn't feel was supportive. I go this Saturday and im afraid that I'm going to fail again. But I can't keep going on like this. I don't know what to do or how to get motivated enough to try harder. I feel so lost.
I always feel like I can't or don't want to talk to anyone about weight issues because I just automatically cry. It's just so painful and so I bottle it up. I'm at a pretty low point right now so I don't think I have much to lose by trying to reach out.
Glassrose...your post made me cry. You are in no way a failure. You haven't murdered any one, you don't torture animals...you are just overweight. Please stop being so hard on yourself. I know how hard it is to look in a mirror and think "bleurgh" I am 362lbs myself and look back at all my attempts to lose weight and can feel a failure too. But we are not. We just haven't found the way that works for us yet.
If you are struggling with mental and physical health problems then your hill is even steeper to climb. This is a wonderful site for support...please feel free to PM me if that is easier.
God Bless Lovely.
We are in the same boat lady! I'm 24 and weigh 325lbs and I have miles and miles of "failures" behind me. You just gotta keep on trucking along. Feel free to hit me up if you ever need some support!
You know i used to feel the same as you..hopeless..defeated.. It was tough..really tough. Reaching out for help and support was a big first step that needed to be taken. We are all aqquainted with failure but dont let that stop you. Failure doesnt have to be forever. I wish i could give you hope or help you to see that life is going to get better but i cant..its not my journey, its yours. But just want to let you know that we are here for you..maybe not in person but we are here. So scream and kick, whine and cry, get angry, get happy, rant and rave.. We are here to listen!
I know how you feel when you said "It is so embarrassing that I let myself get this bad." I feel the exact same way. I also understand feeling horrible about yourself. It took me a long, long time to stop hating myself, and I still have bad days where I have to remember that I am not a failure.
And you are not a failure! I thought it wasn't possible for me to lose weight because the number on the scale just kept getting bigger. For a long time nothing worked for me, but I finally found what does work and it is slowly (very slowly) coming off. I've only had a tiny bit of success, but I already have had to fight myself to continue. As much as I think making healthier choices with food and exercise will become easier, I doubt it will ever be easy for me.
I've said all of this in the hopes of letting you know you are not alone!
If you ever want to talk, or need a weight loss buddy, I am here. Let me know and we can talk on here or by some other means.
A warm welcome to you Glassrose. You are in no way a failure! I hope you'll continue to post so we can offer you support. Weight is an ongoing issue for so many and you are not alone!
I'm coming back on the board after starting at 300 pounds, losing 35 pounds last year, and gaining it right back before now because I emotionally ate. I was dealing with a lot of stuff, and that's how I cope. I self-sabotage because I carry a lot of guilt, and it's kind of punishing myself. I'm afraid of what happens if I actually succeed.
We aren't weak, and we're not failures. We simply cope in a way that is more visible. Everyone copes in different ways. It's not a matter of being weak-willed. Food works really well for many reasons both biologically and psychologically.
We have to break that habit, and it isn't easy. We can't just quit eating. Sure, we can stop buying certain foods, but that doesn't automatically make us stop eating.
I've learned that it's easier to make one choice at a time than to look at the big picture. I have nearly 158 pounds to lose to reach a healthy weight. It seems impossible. If I just minimize it to one choice, it seems so much simpler. I will eat x now. I will do this exercise. If I fail, it's okay. I will just make the correct choice the next time.
I was successful the last time because I made little changes like using less sugar in my coffee each week, until I had it down to none. I added one more water a day. I cut down my soda intake a little at a time. We're not looking for perfection. Any progress is better than no progress.
If I couldn't move my legs, I moved my arms. I went from doing a half a mile walks to 3 mile walks doing the Leslie Sansone videos. The key is just adding a little bit more at a time.
I've learned not to compare myself to others, and just to keep trying to improve. As long as I'm doing that, I'm fine.
This all applies to you as well. You can manage this and lose weight yourself. You simply have to put your mind to it. As a wise song writer wrote, "If you wanna be somebody else, if you're tired of fighting battles with yourself, if you wanna be somebody else, then change your mind."
Last edited by tootsieroll81; 01-27-2016 at 05:41 PM.
Welcome Glassrose! I could have written your post myself! We are of a similar age, and I am pushing 300 pounds, the heaviest I have ever been. You are NEVER alone. I have failed at weight loss my whole life. I have made a decision to get back on the bandwagon and try again. Firstly, you should change doctors. I had a doctor who I thought was amazing, but all she did was fat shame me, until I got to the point where I left in tears. Maybe she is trying to give me a kick up the backside to change my life, or maybe she is just nasty. Either way, its not ok. You are either with me or against me, I hear enough of what she said rattling around in my own head DAILY, I DO NOT need to hear it from someone who should be supportive. I KNOW how hard it is to admit you have a problem, and when your own doctor cant support you, it is so tough.
My medical history has many twists and turns, plenty of surgeries and hormonal health issues a mile long. I completely understand what a slap in the face it is to have your doctor, who knows all of this, to be anything but supportive. You need as many supportive people in your corner as possible. I would be looking for a new doctor.
Secondly, I also know how horrid self doubt and negative self talk can be. I started a thread on the topic. It is awful. So much of weight loss is changing our attitudes, and not just about food, about ourselves. For me, I called myself all the names under the sun when I was eating unhealthily and not exercising. Since I started working out a little and watching what I eat, many of the nasty thoughts have gone away, or they aren't as bad. What have you tried to do in the past to lose weight?
Finally, I cannot say how incredible this forum is. I have had some real lows with body image issues and just feeling worthless and people are so supportive. Only you know what support you need, and you just have to ask for it. People here are amazing. We are all behind you! If I can do anything to help, please just ask. You can make the changes you need! Start slowly and things will start falling into place. It might not happen over night, but any step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Goodluck!
New here. Don't know what to do anymore
