300+ Chat Thread January, 2016
 

WELCOME!! :celebrate:

We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support, inspiration, and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.

We want to invite everyone (roosters as well as chicks!) to join us in our journey. We share laughter and tears, heartaches and fears ... joys and celebrations. We also share what works for us and what doesn't.

We have found this thread to be more than just a support group... we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us!

Happy happy happy New Year, one and all! I appended below my last posting in the December thread, in case you missed it. Bob and I had a pleasant celebration: listening to some of our favorite blues albums in bed together, then downstairs in time to watch the ball drop in our very own time zone—ha! =grin= A bottle of inexpensive bubbly plus cheez-n-crackers, and two rowdy adolescent kitties, and a good time was had by all.

My biggest good news: for about two weeks now, I've been able to crawl up the stairs on hands and knees (no easy feat!), which means I've been sleeping in my own bed next to my husband, taking showers instead of those ghastly sponge baths in front of the kitchen sink, and best of all, getting to my collage studio.

My current project is making a batch of collage postcards to send to all my missing-in-action correspondents and hopefully re-ignite those relationships. Only two people wondered what had happened to me and kept sending mail over the long summer doldrums and the long autumn of painful rehab. Oh well...

I would like to weigh myself today, but it's a bit of a hassle for Bob to set up my scale, so we'll see... Poor Bob has suffered a lot as a result of all my suffering, but he's loyally driven me and my wheelchair to Bethesda (45-60 minutes, one way) twice and sometimes three times a week for my various appointments. I made a rather odd decision in September, which was to go only with Qi Gung (a broad term encompassing all of Chinese medicine) for my rehab. It hasn't been easy for my very Western brain to deal with the truly weird ideas of the East about the human body, but QG works... so what the hey. I have a great deal of faith in Mike, my instructor/healer, and he has repaid my faith by working hard to get me up and moving. I can stand up readily now and even walk several steps, all without holding onto anything.

The biggest problem in my rehab is PAIN. Everything from the hips on down, plus occasionally my arms, tortures me quite a bit, several times a day. I recently consulted a chronic pain specialist, and he has some ideas. We shall see... So far I've made it through, even dealt with a broken rib from a fall, without any prescription pain killers. I'm not especially proud of that: it just is what it is.

More news later... plus some personal greetings if I can manage it.... I love you guys! I really know that now, since I missed our little community most keenly.
__________________________________________________ ____________

[posted December 31, I think]

Howdy, y'all! I'm back. Or at least I hope I am. I'm in a whole lot of pain today, so I won't write much. I just wanted to say that I read all the December posts, and am glad to see so many familiar faces: Ubee, Sam, Betsy, Terra, Melissa, Larry...

You were right, Sam, in what you said earlier in the month: I did fall off the planet. As some of you may recall, back in March the psych drugs I was taking for my bipolar disorder caused a massive screwup in my neurotransmitter metabolism, and I got something called serotonin toxicity. It causes rapidly repeating involuntary contractions of the muscles of the arms and legs—very painful, and in my case, very disabling. By the time I was off all the drugs that had screwed me up, I was in the situation of not being able to stand up, walk, drive, or climb stairs. Plus I went into a massive depression caused by withdrawing from those drugs.

I don't remember when I stopped posting here. I apologize for just disappearing and not explaining anything. Somewhere around early May I just lay down on the futon in our living room and became a totally horizontal lousy excuse for a human being, for four long months. I didn't see my doctors. I didn't do physical therapy. Worst of all, I stopped seeing Mike, my Qi ("chee") Gung instructor.

Finally, in mid-September, I pulled out of that deep funk. My muscles had wasted so much from those months of immobility, it was just ridiculous. Even my butt was noticeably flat!

Anyway, as I said, I'm in pain as I write these words, so that's all for now. My weight as posted is not accurate, because I lost so much muscle bulk, and thus lost some weight—the wrong way. As soon as I can manage it, I'll update my numbers and my ticker. I just wanted to say "Hi" to all of y'all.

Happy 2016 my friends! :grouphug:
Fi I am so happy that you are alive! It is so good to hear from you! I know it has been rough but I sense a positive energy flowing from your post. You must feel like a new woman being able to take a shower. I don't think it is odd that you have chosen to go with Qi Gung. I've been dealing with Western Medicine lately and I am more convinced then ever that nature holds all our answers. I have to ask how are the kitties?
Betsy ready to make this year the year to get below 300?
Sam do you have a goal for this year?
Terra what about you?
What about everyone else? Not a resolution, more like a commitment.

I am going to work hard this year to actually make exercise a priority along with healthy eating. My body is telling me through pain, shortness of breath, moods, and difficulty moving because of all the rolls, that I need to get healthy.
So glad to have such a supportive community. Thanks everyone!

Jeez, it happens to all of us, doesn't it? I just wrote a bunch of personals, which seemed to take forever, and then made the mistake of editng my ticker....and lost all that I had written. Arrrrrggh! Well, better luck next time...

Bob set up the scale for me. I weigh 259 lbs., which is 10 down from the last time I weighed myself. And it's not muscle loss, either, because I'm doin' my 600 leg raises, 100 butt crunches, and other exercises (like crawling up the stairs on hands & knees), mostly on a daily basis.

And guess what—I made my third mini-goal: getting down to 260. I completely forgot about that mini-goal until I saw it there in my signature file. So now I have a new mini-goal to work toward: get ready 240, 'cause here I come! =smile=

Ubee ~ I'm just gonna continue working on my weight loss and water in take

Thanks for the invite Ubee :) Hi everyone! I am back on the bandwagon again, after having some pretty big health issues that forced me to put my weight loss journey on hold. I don't think I have gained much if any weight since stopping however I really want to start trying again.

I aim to walk 3-4 times a week to start off with, and I am on a pretty simple eating plan. It is pretty similar to the CSIRO Diet, and I did well on it when I first started.

I am 26 and I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I also have hormonal issues that make losing weight a bit harder. I have failed every single time I have tried to lose weight and I really struggle with negative self talk, and Ubee suggested I join this chat as a source of motivation and support.

Fingers crossed that 2016 brings good health and positive lifestyle changes for everyone! Thanks again for having me :)

Welcome to the group Caldawg89

Thanks Terra1984 :)

Welcome on board the thread Calda! I think we all struggle with giving ourselves unhelpful negative messages. I'm in the midst of a difficult rehab after a disabling illness, and I get down on myself a lot for putting so much stress on my husband. And when I hear even a hint of a criticism from one of my doctors, I obsess about it and repeat it to myself—and worse yet, out loud—over and over again.

For example, I really need to have my knees evaluated, since I can't get my legs straight, which makes standing up and walking quite painful. When my primary care doctor gave me the referral to a knee specialist, he warned me that they would no doubt hassle me about my weight. Instead of hearing that as a kind thing to say, to help me prepare for seeing the knee person, I heard it as criticism—so much so that I have been unable to pick up the phone and make an appointment with the knee person. I keep telling myself that I have to lose at least 50 more pounds before I even deserve to have my knees evaluated. =sigh=

I wish we all had guardian angels or something to help us out of those traps in our thinking...

Thanks Fiona W :) It is hard sometimes! I have PCOS, which sees my hormones fluctuate monthly which is far from ideal for weight loss. Add have tonsils, adenoids and gall bladder removed, along with acute pancreatitis, multiple organ failure and a torn back in the past 2 years.. well lets just say I haven't had the best time of it physically, and that has led my mental state to nosedive. I am hoping for a positive change this year! It is really nice to talk to people in the same boat as me. I always found gyms good for accountability but I hated the culture/vibe of the place, I always felt inferior there, and when I tore my back during a PT session, I just cannot bring myself to go back. The back pain I had when I tore my muscle was by far the worst pain I have ever endured, and I have broken bones and had further abdominal surgery in addition to the aforementioned surgeries and they felt like a grazed knee compared to how I felt when I tore my back. Fingers crossed 2016 is better for us! I have had at least 1 surgical procedure per year for the past few years, and I am hoping my body gives me a break from all of that in 2016! Best of luck when you see the knee person :)

P.S. to Calda: You can call me by my nickname, Fi (pronounced "fee"). Is it OK if I call you Calda? I much prefer real names or nicknames to userIDs: they're so much more friendly. =smile=

That's terrible about the torn muscle in your back! It makes me wonder about your PT person, that they let you stress your back so much. I can well believe it was awfully painful. Here's hopin' for all of us that in our efforts to get moving more in 2016, we take it slow and not overdo it!

Happy New Year. We're finally having a stretch of clear, sunny days but at this time of year that means that it's cold -- or at least cold by our standards since it's a temperate climate here in the Pacific Northwest.

Fi -- Having you back with us is such a treat -- what a great way to start out a new year. I'm impressed with your weight loss and totally understand your feelings regarding what the doctor was saying about getting your knees evaluated. It's a Catch 22 -- lose weight before getting knees fixed/with fixed knees I could be so much more active and lose weight more easily. Glad you're back in your studio and able to take showers. It's truly the little things in life that make such a huge difference in how we feel emotionally.

Ubee-- Happy New Year to you as well. Yes, I'm definitely going to make this the year to get below 300. In fact, I'm going to try to make this the 6 months of getting below 300. I'm planning a big trip to Alaska this summer, and want to be able to get out and about more easily. And you're right -- this needs to be a commitment as opposed to a resolution.

Terra -- Happy New Year. Staying on the path you're on makes perfect sense.

Calda -- First, welcome to the group. We are definitely supportive of each other and while we've all taken hiatuses of varying lengths of time, posting here definitely helps with staying focused. Your health issues add so many challenges to weight loss efforts. Hopefully, this year will be a much better one for you.

Sam -- Are you back from your vacation yet? We need our poster girl for successful weight loss here giving us support (and vice versa) and reminding us that this can be done.

It dawned on me this morning that it's now 3 years since I started trying to lose weight. The dark side of my brain basically says 3 years and you're only 40 pounds thinner. The light side said that at least I didn't repeat my pattern of gaining it all back and then some more. Just moving around is hard, constantly out of breath, etc. I'm going to start doing stretching exercises here at home each day along with going to the gym......and working on upping my cardio work. The eating part is ingrained in terms of what I can and can't eat.......now to overcome the one-little-cheat-won't-hurt mentality.

Going to clean the house today. Yesterday Toby got groomed -- or what passes for grooming by me. Not a lot going on here, but I'm enjoying a slower pace after the frenzy of the holidays.

Have a great day.

Hi everyone.
I was having a good day until I wasn't. I am going to get this weight off.
Betsy we are going to Alaska? I am so excited. How long will we be gone? Is anyone else coming along? I do think we need to give ourselves credit for the weight we have kept off. It would be ideal if we had kept it all off and reached our goal. I think something in us is broken. Every time we lose some and keep it off I feel like we are slowly fixing the part of us that is not working right. Does that make sense. Sorry it has been a long day.
Fi you deserve to have good knees! Just because we struggle with our weight it does not mean that we are not worthy of having the best life we can. Like Betsy says if your knees are better it will help with your weight loss.
Welcome caldawg! I am glad you decided to join us. You sure have a lot on your plate. Some here will be completely able to relate to you. Maybe try making some small simple goals to keep yourself inspired and motivated. Keep posting we all need to help each other.
Terra thanks for the reminder to get my water in. Have you tried any new exercise videos lately?

Yesterday I had a stellar day. This morning was good but as the day went on my diet became an epic fail. Time to get my head screwed on straight and get this weight off once and for all.

hi everyone!

Ubee— Thanks for the vote of confidence about Qi Gung. Mike is a wonderful guy, and we have something very important in common: rock-n-roll! He loves my collection of black T-shirts with guitarists on them, especially the one of Keith Richards in 1973. Mike is 5 years older than me (we're 60 & 65), which makes us pretty much the same age in terms of cultural references. He's teaching me how to fill up my inner reservoir of chi, and how to move chi down the channels in my legs. And he can do something that seems truly magical: he can take away the pain!! As for the kitties, they are doin' great. They still have snuffles and sneezes, something our vet calls "chronic rhinitis." Whatever—we don't mind having a little cat snot to deal with, and they don't seem to mind, either. They are healthy otherwise, still the best of friends, and happy & playful. Nénu is quite the little athlete: she doesn't jump into the very vertical cat tree we got for them—she flies! Her latest feat is leaping straight up to the top of the powder room door, then walking back & forth on that narrow (like 1" 1/2) platform like a tightrope artist, reaching up with one paw to touch the ceiling. I'll try to get some recent photos up soon... And congrats, Ubee, on your commitment to more movement and healthy eating in 2016! Here's something you won't like about my being back: I'm going to resume nagging you about lying on the couch or wherever and doing a brief session of long, slow, belly breaths to build up your willpower. It's also a part of what Mike emphasizes, because in Chinese body wiork you gotta have WILL to move that chi around. Qi Gung is big on breathing right. And you also gotta believe that what you're doing with your chi is going to help you. My favorite exchange with Mike so far: I asked him, "What is the role of belief in all this?" He answered, "Belief is the training wheels for intention." That applies to weight loss, too, doesn't it? Once you get that mental bicycle moving and you believe you're not going to fall off, you can ride as far as you want. Belief —> Will/Intention —> Movement & Eating Right —> Weight Loss. =smile=

Betsy— Thanks for the warm "Welcome back!" I take it you were on something of a hiatus yourself, so you know, too, what a big difference it makes to have the 300+ social support. Here's a thought: why don't you ask the experts at your gym about what do-able increase in your work there would be a safe, effective way to jump start your weight loss? The fact that you are going to the gym impresses me so much! I also love it that you are longwinded: you, Sam, and I are the big verbosity trio on this thread aren't we? Words and more words: great stuff, in my opinion! I gotta take issue with you, though, about one thing you said—that taking showers and getting to my studio are "little things." Taking showers—wonderful, and yes, a little thing. But getting into my studio and making collages—sorry, dear, but that's a BIG thing. Check this out: it's not much, aesthetically, but it's the first new card to come out of my studio! =big grin= (As always, click on "Comments" if you're interested, and click on the image for a bigger version.)

Sam— I am SO CHUFFED that you made it to the 100s! Please don't get discouraged if you bounce up and down a bit around 200 before you're securely into the 190s. How was your vacation? Please tell us all about what you've been up to, you gorgeous thing with the fab purple hair!

Terra, Melissa, Larry, Calda, Phat— Happy New Year yet again! What's up with you guys?

As for myself, I'm hopin' to get into the shower today (it's a challenge for my painful legs) and also to cut some fun shapes out of white sticky paper to put on the batch of patterned postcards I made a few days ago. But ugh—sitting up on the edge of the bed to write this posting on my iPad has been exhausting for my sore bod, so I gotta rest first....

Good morning on a cloudy, overcast day. Maybe it will finally warm up a little here!

Ubee -- Yes, we are going to Alaska. I'll tell my younger nephew and Bill that they won't be needed as you'll be going with me. One is riding up with me (I'm driving the RV!) and exploring for a week then flying home. Then the other one will fly in and drive back home with me. And I'm taking Toby because everyone needs to haul a 100+ pound dog along on a month long trip. It has given me the impetus to now do 2 days in a row of stretching exercises before I even head in for coffee. I hate to admit it, but I can tell the difference in just doing 2 days of stretching on mobility. Not to mention all the calories I'm burning trying to get into the correct positions to stretch. I think I caught Toby rolling on the floor doing doggie laughs. Yes, we're slowly fixing ourselves. It dawned on me when I read your sentence that I hadn't really admitted that something needed to be "fixed" until very recently.

Fi -- Yes, Fi, I know how important getting to your studio is for you. I'll put it right up there with world peace and fixing global warming! Just poking at you -- you know what I meant about the little things in life. Seriously, I'm very happy for you that you seem to be on the path back as it sounds like most of 2015 was just awful for you and probably for Bob, too. The gym lady has a whole routine for me to do, but I have really been slacking off on the cardio. Just need to increase my time on the elliptical and add the treadmill back in. I've still been doing all of the strength exercises.

Phat -- Hi back at you!

A friend gave me her ham bone from Christmas -- SHE WAS GOING TO THROW IT AWAY! I'm making some bean soup today and am working on sorting all the pictures to make scrapbooks for each of my nephews. We've got 2 January family birthdays so I'll start thinking about what to have when we have the joint birthday party celebrations. At the end of the month I'm getting AC installed. Doesn't everyone install AC in the middle of winter?????

Off to get some coffee and breakfast. Have a great day.

Hello Again
 

Hi Everyone,

It's lovely to see some familiar faces and new ones.

I don't know how long it has been since I've visited - 2015 was such a horrendous year that weight loss was the last thing from my mind. Just holding my family together whilst it fell apart was such a struggle.

Looking up, I last visited in December, 2014 - yikes. To be honest, I'm not ready to start my weight loss program again yet, as I mentioned above, I am just clawing and trying to pull everything together again.

It all started in September, 2014 when my 14 year old daughter did what I have always told her to do when stressed - just walk away. And she did! She was found by the police 26 kilometres from home. She was a very immature 14 year old and it blew us away. The following month my husband travelled to the UK to spend his time with his Mum for her 80th birthday and the visual and auditory hallucinations started.

In 2015 between February to June my father in law had one heart attack, two strokes, several episodes of sepsis and almost chronic delirium. He was only home for 8 days between the 25th Feb and 21st June when he died peacefully with his wife holding his hand. This time was challenging for us left at home because my daughter didn't cope very well with my husband's prolonged absences whilst he was helping his Mum in England - Sydney to St Ives is not just a two hour drive away. As a result, we became well acquainted with the Infant, Child and Adolescent Mental health Services.

We are looking up now - I still cry at times when I'm feeling sorry for myself but these times are few. She has now been diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum, also has Inattentive type ADHD and Severe Anxiety which manifest as auditory and visual hallucinations. We received these diagnoses the day after my father in law died and we made a stop at the paediatrician's on the way to the airport. It was such a shock! At this time we were told that she would not likely be able to live independently, hold down a job unless it was supported and probably won't finish high school.

My determined self has come forward and is seeking out opportunities for her. The hard thing is that she has missed all of the early intervention, so now we are playing catch up. I've found the best way to cope and think of things is by remembering 'Autism is not a data processing error, it's a different operating system'. I cannot begin to describe how much this has helped. It's what drives me to seek opportunities and help her to achieve.

If that wasn't enough, my Irish Dancing son was diagnosed with Osgood-Schlatter's disease just 6 weeks before the Australian Irish Dancing National Championships. He was putting such a brave face on it and practicing through the agony then just two weeks before National's the poor thing ended up having emergency surgery to remove his appendix and he wasn't allowed to dance.

Our Autism princess has also been plagued with injury and is currently undergoing physiotherapy from for stress fractures in her spine from rhythmic gymnastics.

2016 promises to be a much better year. My son has changed Irish Dancing schools and we haven't looked back - we love our new family! Our Autism Princess has also asked to start Irish Dancing again to (after leaving the old school when we found out her nickname was 'ret@rd' - worse still, the dancing teacher didn't see anything wrong with it).

The other positive is that I now have a permanent tenured position at work. The downside is that my research supervisors have changed to staff that I work with every day and I am being hammered to move forward at a rate faster than I feel able to cope, so it's a fine line.

I m looking to commence my weight loss journey again soon, I'm just psyching myself up for it. My biggest hurdle was coming back her and posting again - one goal achieved :dizzy:

I hope everyone is well, it's lovely to be back.

I haven't been brave enough to stand on the scales yet - right now, I don't think I could stand what I would see, looking in the mirror is hard enough - one step at a time.

Here's to making 2016 a success and linking arms with you all so we can cross the line together.

Bek.

Lucy—or do you prefer to be called Bek?— Good to see you back on the thread, especially given the horrible year that 2015 seems to have been for you. Is that your "Irish Dancing son" in your avatar photo? He looks sweet, talented, and smashing in his costume. You deserve a lot of credit for all that you have done for your husband, your "Autism princess" daughter, and your son. Being the glue that holds a family together during such difficult times is no easy feat! I couldn't quite figure out from your story whether you live in Sydney or St. Ives, but I thought I would tell you I have a very dear friend—postal only, as so far we haven't met in person—who grew up in, and now lives in, St. Ives.

As you may or may not have read, 2015 was quite awful for me as well. Added to the stress of my metabolic illness and its aftermath has been the rapid decline in my mother-in-law's function. She has Alzheimer's bad enough that she can no longer reliably recognize her daughter. She was recently moved from what's called a "memory care" facility—an incompetent one, with staff who were failing to manage her brittle diabetes—to what we hope will be a better one.

The saddest thing about my mom-in-law's Alzheimer's is that she is a very bright, accomplished woman who is still "in there" enough to be aware of her failing brain. At least my own mother, far away in my home town of Houston, is way past that point in her Alzheimer's and has settled into an odd sort of contentment.

In terms of the pain that besieges me from my damaged legs and arms, I have good days and bad days. Yesterday seemed like a good day until I went downstairs to work on collage and correspondence on the kitchen table. No sooner had I made that trip, though, before I was suffering again very intensely, in all four limbs. I ended up crawling painfully back upstairs to where our bed is comfortable and Bob can sit and read his Kindle next to me as I moan & groan. I'm no stoic—never was and never will be—I suppose because of being physically abused by both parents from an early age. Neither Bob nor I got much sleep last night. I don't see Mike—my Qi Gung instructor/healer—until Tuesday.

Good morning from a snowy, foggy Pacific Northwest. I don't know why I always start with the weather report other than it seems to determine my activities for the day. Please bear with me.

Lucy and Fi -- When I read your postings I feel so ashamed of myself for letting silly little things get to me in any way. You've both gone through so much -- and still are -- that I realize that it takes tremendous strength of character just to get through the day. For both of you, I hope that 2016 brings much peace into your lives.

The bean soup was delicious, but something did not agree with my tummy. The good news is that a couple of pounds came off. The bad news......well, let's just say there was some bad news.

Off to the gym then I really do need to do some cleaning. I'm making progress on the organizing necessary to gets the nephews' scrapbooks done. So many pictures!

Have a great day.

Well hello everybody!
Yes it really is Mountain Walker AKA Donna from Wales back on line and yes.....on a diet.
What was it about 2015?? Almost everybody I speak to had a difficult year last year. My prayers are with all my lovely friends on here that we have a fantastic 2016!!
So.....my abusive husband left in February. After 4 years of being in prison, my initial reaction was "wow.... freedom" then "yikes... freedom" then..."what on earth do I do with all this freedom?"
Despite the relationship being awful, there was still a time of grieving and adjustment.
At Easter last year, my beautiful daughter, who is studying medicine, became unwell and after an MRI was diagnosed with a brain problem which was increasing the pressure in her brain. 3 weeks after she was married she underwent 5 hours of brain surgery and spent the Summer slowly recovering. She is still having problems but went back to do her second year at University. I spent most of last Summer on the motorway between my home and hers!
I have had a spell of really bad chest problems which is "just" asthma but results in repeated chest infections. I escaped hospital by the skin of my teeth just before Christmas and had the wonderful Community Nurses come to give me IV antibiotics at home for 2 weeks. Praise God I am on the mend!
Righto..that's 2015 over and done with thank heavens!
So yesterday I plucked up the courage to get back on the scales......oh it was bad! No surprise...I knew it was going to be ....but seeing the numbers in front of me made me glad I had decided to do something about it! in 2012 I lost 85lbs just by eating less and doing more so that is my intention this time. It worked for me until my husband became jealous and insecure and stopped allowing me to go to the gym etc.
I have found the most marvellous dog walk a 20 minute car ride away ...where I live there are too many sheep around so I can't let them off! And anyway it is too hilly!
Once I have my central line out( which should be a couple of days) I can go back to my swimming which I love. Weirdly enough I NEVER let my size stop me swimming, at least I am exercising!
My wonderful boy is nearly 11 and a bit self conscious of a soft tummy( he hates exercise!) So I am buying a mini-trampoline today to help him.
We have had endless rain which makes encouraging him to get out rather tricky!!!
Have a lovely day everybody!!

2016 is turning out to be great so far simply because so many friends are reposting here!!!

Donna -- Welcome back and I join you in saying adios to 2015. Sounds like you had lots of challenges and any time our children are involved it adds to the stress and worry. I'm glad your daughter is on the mend and you as well. Your positive spirit in spite of all your travails shines through. Many of us had a "weight challenging" year (that's diet speak for we gained or didn't lose any). We've missed you and your wonderful sense of humor. Ubee will be so glad to be able to again get the sheep report.

My big activities for the day are going to the local Sears store which is closing and see if they have any great deals on refrigerators and then to the gas station to buy a lottery ticket. I won't win, but it's over $400 million and I definitely won't win without purchasing a ticket. I only buy them when the winnings get into the stratospheric range. It's fun to imagine what I'd do with all that money. Or more correctly, how I would give it away after a few splurges.

OK. Off to the gym and then to do some errands. This afternoon, I'm going to get the carpeting on the stairs cleaned really well so I can then shampoo them. The dogs have changed the color from gold to heavily spotted gold. Have a great day.

Hi everyone. I am back from my slacking.
Betsy so sorry to tell you that you have wasted your money. I have the winning ticket. Like you I only buy when it is crazy high. Please let your family come along on our trip. The more the merrier! I must admit that I am sad your Sears is closing. So much of my past is being torn down... I feel like your twin. My neighbor gave me her ham bone also. Must be the Midwest girl in us.
Donna I saw my sheep and got so excited that you are back!!! No offense but what a crappy year you had. Kiss that baby good bye. 2016 is here let's get on with weight loss and a much better year for all.
Fi love your latest piece of art. The colors speak to me. I know it is lame but I like the "Here comes the sun." I would love to see Nenu jump to the top of the door. Looking at my fat cat I can not even imagine it. Go ahead keep at me to do my deep breathing and filling up with willpower I need all the help I can get.
Lucy welcome back. I'm with Betsy, it is hard to complain about my little problems with so many of you having such major stuff going on. It is good to have you back. Take one baby step at a time when you are ready. We will be here.
Hi PHAT! I'll take it you are a woman of few words?
Sam where the H are you????
Terra don't you disappear on us either.

I am having trouble getting into a routine. I've made a better plan and it should/will work.

Betsy...I don't have much knowledge of US geography but isn't Alaska a zillion miles from anywhere? Bet Toby will have a ball!!You sound like your gym work out is going well! I plan on the gym a bit later in the year. My local gym is small and if I have a coughing fit(which happens alot!) there is nowhere to hide and people look at me like I need resus!
Fi.....I am so glad you have begun to improve...what a terrible year you had last night. I will check out your new collage later.
Hi Phat!
Lucy......what a nightmare you have had. When our children are suffering it is a torture worse than anything isn't it? I am glad things seem like they are getting a bit better.
Ubee...how are you?
Walking anywhere feels like I am walking through treacle. But I remember that this is how I feel last time I lost alot of weight when I had to stop on the very short walk to school. I just need patience.....does anyone have some patience to spare??
Have a great day.

Mountain's out! Sun!!!! Abbreviated weather report!!!!

Ubee -- We'll split the lottery. We could probably each get by on $225 million or whatever ridiculous amount there is. Just realized you hit the nail on the head -- I'm missing a routine (unless constant cheating counts as a routine!).

Donna -- Yes, Alaska is a zillion miles from anywhere but as Sarah Palin told us she could see Russia from her bedroom window (a slight exaggeration to add to her oh so many others). It's about 2000 miles from here. I've been to the peninsula part of Alaska, but not the interior. The land is gorgeous and I'm ready for a long road trip.

Just looking out my window and realized that the lilac bushes are beginning to form buds. Off to the gym and going to try to make it through a day without cheating. One day. Just one day.

Mostly bad news, I'm afraid. Yesterday morning I twisted my right (bad) knee while going from wheelchair to bed, then many hours later, early this morning, fell down in the bathroom onto the hard tile floor, and injured my right foot. The next time I had to put weight on my right leg, I screamed bloody murder. Poor Bob is very rattled. Soon we have to leave to go see the chronic pain doc. I'm already angry with him (the pain doc) so it probably won't go well. It may sound like hyperbole, but much of the time, I'm in a hellhole.

But some good news: Grace (15-yr-old great niece, mentee, friend, art student) and I have a date for Friday, to make collages in my studio. I sure hope I'm not in so much pain by then.

Mike (Qi Gung instructor/healer) had an interesting suggestion: instead of the sugarfree muesli I've been eating for my small daily dose of carbs, he wants me to substitute sweet potato. Chinese medicine apparently, for pain in the knees. I don't mind that Mike can't explain it to my Western mind. I'm willing to try anything.

Best wishes to all, and Donna, it's great to have you back! and free now from your own hellhole! =smile=

Oh Fi...I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible ordeal with your pain and the falls. You are in my thoughts. I am glad you are still having your precious time with your niece......if I remember correctly there was a time when her parents were reluctant to let her come to spend time with you. Take care my lovely.
Hey Ubee....lots of heavily pregnant Mummy-sheep in the field behind my house...soon we shall have lambs. I promise this year to take some nice pictures and post them!
Betsy...can I come on your road trip? I will even do some of the driving! Weirdly enough I have always wanted to see Alaska...I like cold places you see....and a road trip across America ...well! Amazing! I know you drive on the "wrong" side of the road out there but I am sure I could get used to it!
So.....4 days into my new regime and so far so good. I know from past experience that once I get the first day or 2 over and done with my brain just "clicks" and it becomes easier. I then usually hit a bump in the road at 6-8 weeks so I am going to write myself a loving letter on my computer and save it to my start-up screen so I can open it if times get tricky! At that point I have usually lost quite a few pounds and trousers are getting looser but as I am so heavy, no-one notices!
The good news is that my central line is coming out today so I can start back to swimming next week which is my all time favourite thing when I can't physically make it up mountains!
Have a great day everybody.
Donna

Betsy— With regard to your trip to Alaska—I've been on a longer, rougher version of that road trip than even you are doing. In 1981, when I was going to med school in Houston, a guy named Rick and his wife Dru tempted Bob and me into helping them drive their two vehicles—a butterscotch-colored VW microbus (van) and a red VW Rabbit, alll the way up from Houston, up the eastern side of the Rockies, up the mostly not paved Al-Can Highway, to Fairbanks & Anchorage, and then south to Seward on the Kenai Peninsula. Rick had just finished his training as a Family Practitioner, and there were two General Practitioner guys working in Seward who recruited him to join their practice. They really only needed two doctors to cover Seward, a small fishing town, but the two GP guys were avid mountain climbers, and they each wanted to take long vacations to scale various peaks in Alaska—hence, they needed a third doctor. 'Sounds like an idyllic trip, right? Well, not so: the now chopped-down rain forests of British Columbia were thrilling for Bob (a tree botanist) to see, but Rick & Dru got destination fever somewhere around Yellowstone, plus the microbus kept breaking down, so by the time we were in Canada it was hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait... plus Dru got all freaked out about bears, because we crossed the territory of a genuine man-eating grizzly (it had eaten a butterfly biologist camping solo) when we were in the Yukon. Bob and I were relaxed and did have fun, but didn't get along with Rick & Dru's agenda all that well, so by the time they drove us to the airport to fly to LA and from there back home to Houston, we were glad to be shut of them. Still... some definitely gorgeous scenery and cool camping spots by glacier lakes remain in our joint memory. =smile= The road down to Seward on the Kenai Peninsula (where the biggest grizzlies in North America, AKA brown bears, hang out) is jaw-droppingly spectacular, no doubt about it. Make that side trip, Betsy, if you can!

Donna— I'm eager to see those lamb photos, too! =grin= Bob & I are talking about installing a grab bar for me in the master bathroom, so I won't be at so much risk of falling. How do I feel about that? Jeez, am I never going to walk again?

As for the visit to the chronic pain doc, it went better than I thought. I feel cautiouslly optimistic about being out of pain by the spring.

Right now? Sorry to be a bummer, y'all, but I'm still in a hellhole.

Back to winter weather here -- cloudy and big chance of some form of precipitation.

Fi -- Where do I begin. First, I'm so glad that you've got time planned with Grace. I was going to ask today if your visits with her had been curtailed, so I'm glad to see that you feel up to continuing them or more likely resuming them. Glad the pain doctor visit went better than expected, and that you can see light at the end of the tunnel. Interesting about Mike recommending eating the sweet potato, but it is a wonder food. Let us know if you can tell any difference. And I loved your description of your trip to Alaska. The road is paved now, but I know there will still be some nights where we just pull over and boondoggle in the RV because we've dawdled along and didn't get far enough that day to make it to the next campground.

Donna -- Oh my. You, Ubee, and me in an RV for 2 months! With Toby (the size of a 4th person!). Doesn't that sound like fun?! Please post the baby sheep pictures for all of us. I feel kind of like one of those heavily pregnant sheep right now. Please send some of you mojo this way!

Where are all of the rest of the gang? Hope everyone is well and just easing back into the new year.

Off to the gym and then I'm taking Bill to see Star Wars and out to dinner to start his birthday celebration. He's spending the day tomorrow with his girlfriend, so we're celebrating today and then the family party on the 17th. Have to go buy a lottery ticket tomorrow since Ubee and I didn't win. Have a great day.

Betsy ~ Yeah I thought it made perfect sense too

Ubee ~ Not yet, Actually I've lost 2 of the 3 work out dvd's I owned so I'm gonna have to buy them again so I can keep working out.

Lucy ~ Welcome to the group

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Good Evenings Guys and Gals,

Its 10:16 p.m. right now here in Kansas and I'm trying to catch up on my shows before I head to bed for the night. Tomorrow I have an appt. with my therapist and then from there I'm going to a Chinese buffet to meet my friend for lunch and then when I get home at 2:00 p.m. My mom and I are gonna go and do our weekly shopping instead of waiting until Sunday because we're suppose to get a snow storm starting Saturday night and going into Sunday morning and it will probably last all day Sunday.

Things went better on Thursday, despite my overexercising my right (bad) leg in the morning and thus being in quite a bit of pain by the time I saw Mike. But Bob and I got along just fine on the trip to Bethesda. I went into the Mindfulness Center (where Mike teaches classes in Qi Gung & meditation, and various other people do massage, acupuncture, yoga classes....) with an aim of being honest with Mike about how shitty my life has been of late, and followed through on that. He was in an especially good mood, which was most helpful, 'cause he was able to parry all my complaints with just what I needed to hear. When I related, as per Bob's request, that I've been saying "I'll never walk again" at least two or three times a day, while crying, Mike's eyebrows went up. He said, "As affirmations go, that's not exactly..." We both laughed.

After a long bout of chatter, Mike insisted on our using the remaining 15 minutes on my standing up—sort of to assess where I was at, physically. I stood up and remained standing for nearly a minute, then my right knee gave way suddenly, and I collapsed back into my wheelchair. Mike suggested that the next time I should have my left leg do 70% of the work. But first I had to close my eyes and rest (and emote, inwardly) for five minutes. Five minutes is a long rest! When I tried standing again, with the 70/30 split between my legs, I was able to stay up for over a minute, tolerating the pain pretty easily. Both of us were pleased.

Mike gave me some standing-up homework to do, then it was time for me to wheel back out to where Bob was happily absorbed in his Kindle Paperwhite (which I gave him for his birthday in late October).Those two trips a week to see Mike are made more pleasant, for sure, by the fact that Bob really likes hanging out in the Mindfulness Center. He calls that place "Chi Central." =laugh= (That's a "Ghostbusters" reference some of you may recognize....)

I was in quite a bit of pain by the time we got home, but the magic liniments Mike got for me about a month ago came to the rescue. I fell asleep on the green futon not long after sunset, and slept through the night. I woke up at 5:30 AM, a bit surprised to not be in bed, but pleased to hear a three-part chorus (one primate, two felines) of snoring over on the purple futon.

Whenever and wherever I wake up in the morning, Oscar always gets out from underneath Bob's covers and greets me with purrs and sweet nuzzles. Then, as if having finished a task, he goes back under, sleeping more until Bob wakes up.

Oscar is so attuned to me when my eyelids pop open! And when I'm in a lot of pain, he's quick to engage me either in playing with him (he brings the toy—something to throw or something to dangle) or in amused watching as he and Nénu play-fight on the top two levels of the cat tree. But Nénu tends to be the more attentive one during the day and evening. What a splendid pair of cats....

Say, y'all, I got through a whole posting without using the word "hellhole." =laugh=

'Loved what you had to say, Betsy!

Everyone else: please report on what you've been up to! I get worried when I don't hear the news....

Good morning!
Terra good to see you. How much snow are you expecting?
Betsy thank you for contributing more $ to my winnings. I am with you on feeling like one of those pregnant sheep. If I were to drop 15 pounds I would feel so much better.
Fi grab bars are wonderful. You will love them when you get them. They are good for everyone no matter what their physical condition. Your story of going to Alaska sounds like an adventure. Back when hubby and I did travel we always went solo. We like the beat of our own drum the best. I am so glad you have your kitties. They sure can be calming.
Donna so true about losing a lot of weight and no one noticing. I get nervous when people start noticing. I don't like the pressure of others expectations. I like the idea of writing yourself a letter. As for patience I would love more myself right now. The youngest is home from college. She is at that age where she is ready to be on her own, but it is not a financial reality.
Sam are you out there?

I have to get back in the habit posting here every morning. Thinking of all of you helps keep me focused and more accountable then I otherwise would be.
I am not doing so well food/exercise wise. It is a vicious cycle. My weight makes me depressed and I have the unhealthy habit of eating when I feel any emotion. Time to just do it.

Blue sky!
 

Hello lovely ladies!
Well it is a good news day! I have had my central line out today which means I can take my boy swimming next week, I have managed a proper dog walk 5 days in a row despite terrible weather and stuck firmly to my healthy eating plan. I know from the past that once I make it to the end of the first week I am in "the zone" as it were. I put on alot of weight before Christmas when I was ill and it is all sat on my lower abdomen which is my "roundest" bit anyway. this puts alot of strain on my lower back...kind of like being pregnant!.......so it is this that is limiting my walking tolerance. I know that once I start swimming this will improve really quickly but I feel like I am waddling at the moment. But hey...at least I am moving right??

Fi...animals are amazingly intuitive (at least some of them). When I was with my abusive ex-hubby one of my dogs, Molly who is a spaniel crossed with a golden retriever, used to place herself in between me and him when he shouted at me, which was often. He treated he less well that the other dogs and not long before he moved out kicked her, but her thought was always me and she wouldn't leave the room. Since he left, she has put on weight and looks alot less anxious all the time. I am glad your session with Mike was more positive...he sounds like and amazing man!

Betsy.......the way I feel at the moment I would probably need to sleep in an awning attached to your RV ...with Toby for protection from bears. Not sure I could squeeze my butt into your RV! Sam and I went camping in July last year. I wanted us to spend some time together because I knew that I would be spending so much time with my daughter when she had her brain surgery. Well it was a disaster! The weather was AWFUL! Cold and wet. The dogs were so badly behaved we had to bring them home half way through the week for my neighbour to look after. My chest was terrible because of the damp and I slipped and hurt my arthritic knee on the second day so getting on and off my air mattress was agony. I love camping usually but we came home a day early and it has put poor Sam off for life I think!
Well, I have some domestic chores to do...sigh.....have a lovely day everybody,
Donna

We're back to sun here, so that means that it's cold outside. The heavy frost on the roofs might have been a hint!

Fi -- Sounds like a great session with Mike -- both spiritually and with good tips on increasing your mobility. I loved his statement about as affirmations go. Got me realizing that I need to be telling myself I can lose this weight instead of "knowing" that I won't. Thanks for pushing me in the right direction. And give Oscar and Nenu a good head rub from me -- our pets bring so much into our lives.

Terra -- I remember those snowstorms in Kansas from when we lived there. I took them very seriously as the really bad ones were basically white outs. Sounds like a good day to stay inside.

Ubee -- We are twins. We must have been separated at birth. So far this year, I've somehow managed to gain 5 more pounds after getting off to a good start. Time for us to get our acts together.

Donna -- So glad you have gotten the central line out. My sister had one, and it is a relief to just be done with it. Enjoy your swimming next week. I did chuckle over your camping description.......which is why I cheat and "camp" in an RV! Keep sending us reports on your eating and exercising as we need inspiration.

I took Bill to see Star Wars yesterday. We intentionally waited until this week so that all the kids were back in school, and then went to a matinee. Evidently, the other 5 couples had the same idea because it was obvious that we were all retirees -- the only color of hair in there was gray. The cinema had been remodeled a few years ago to have only recliner seating. It was very nice -- big seats so I didn't feel like I was sitting half way into the next seat, reclining backs, raised footrests and all electric. The movie was good, too! :D Then we went to eat at a Chinese restaurant so today I resemble a stuffed sausage from all of the MSG in the food.

Time for the gym, buy a lottery ticket (I'm living in great delusion here), get the pot roasts for the family dinner next weekend, and then the excitement of doing the laundry. Have a great day.

Ubee ~ a trace to 2 inches

Betsy ~ I didnt know you lived in Kansas before, You might of told me before but I forgot, Sorry

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Woke up at 3:30 a.m. this morning. Its now 5:35 a.m. I have a hard time falling back to sleep once I have to get up and use the bathroom which really sucks but its okay. I'm gonna work out today to the only dvd I have, Its not my favorite but at least I can still get my work outs in. I wonder if we will get snow or not cause the last time we were suppose to get snow it didnt happen so we'll see. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday.

Good morning!
Terra your snow is at my house. Please come get it. Did you get a lot of veggies when you went to the store?
Betsy we go to the matinees also. Most of the time we are the only two in the theater. Our theater also just installed the recliners. We have yet to use them but are hoping to if we ever get to see Star Wars. On a serious note we do need to get our backsides moving and shrinking.
Donna I too carry much of my weight in my lower abdomen with my back fat coming in second. It has been so discouraging with the last 25 I put back on. I hope to use it as my motivation to start and stay on plan. Your letter reminded me that I have little note cards that have encouragement on them that I am supposed to read everyday. I will get them out and start back up again.
Everyone else lurking, stop on by. The more the merrier!

Lately my husband have had the opportunity to have a date night once a week. I am finding myself starting to care about my appearance more. We go to a nice place and the other ladies dress nicely...

Have a peaceful day.

Beautiful sunrise this morning. Reminds me that I need to look up more.....if for no other reason than it reduces the number of chins!

Terra -- We lived in Lawrence for a year while my husband was in grad school. We loved it there. Waking up and then not being able to get back to sleep is the pits.

Ubee -- Love the idea of a date night, and I do think getting dressed up helps us to be more motivated.

Just made up my meal list for today and hope that I can stick with it for a day. I definitely need to get back in the groove of eating right. I'm going to clean the downstairs today and get the stairs leading down cleaned and shampooed. Toby and Becky have really gotten those steps looking yucky.

Hope everyone has a great day.

P H A T ~ Welcome to 3FC and to the 300+ Chat Thread for Jan.

Fiona ~ I havent been doing much just the same as always, School 3 times a week and If I have doctor's appt's on Tuesday's and Friday's then I go to those and thats it.

Ubee ~ LOL, I love the snow, Its the ice and freezing temps I dont like about winter. Yes I bought 2 green bell peppers and 1 zucchini

Betsy ~ Oh okay so why did you move from Kansas? Just curious, I love Kansas but that may only be because I've never lived anywhere else, I mean I was born in Texas but we only lived there for 6 months after I was born so I dont remember it.

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Woke at 3:30 a.m. Went back to sleep at 6:00 a.m. until 11:00 a.m. Its now 3:39 p.m. and I'm awake for the rest of the day, I'm gonna stay up late tonight so maybe I can sleep in tomorrow and hopefully I wont wake up at 3:30 a.m. like I did this morning. I still need to work out today but I did get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned. I also need to fold and put away my clean clothes and then go downstairs and washed my dirty clothes. Anyway I hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday.

I've had a harrowing couple of days, in terms of the pain in my legs.

Friday's get-together with Grace was pressed for time, unfortunately. We've had wrangles before about her not letting other people encroach on our Friday nights, so I just have to accept that she's doin' the best she can.

We had fun making collages together in my studio all the same. I am thrilled to be able to give you links to two new collages from me: every thing in its own basket (for Kollage Kit's "declutter" theme), and three kings. (Click on the images to see larger versions.)

Saturday I woke up to extreme pain in my right leg, the knee in particular. And it just got worse, alll through the day and evening. By the time I was taking a sleeping pilll to knock myself out of my misery, both legs were involved, and nothing I tried (liniments, chi) did any good. I was angry. I wished I could die.

I don't feel a whole lot better, this morning, but I'm tryin' to hang in here...

Hi Everyone!

Don't worry I am alive lol....Just been on vacation so I haven't really been able to post here. Didn't mean to worry anyone. So happy to see that Fi and Donna are back!!! Missed you ladies!! Fi, I read in the Dec. thread about your terrible bout you've been going through. I'm glad you're still here but make sure you take out time for you. Hugs to you my friend. I am lucky that my bi-polar disorder hasn't gotten me to where you are, so I can only imagine how hard that is. Always here for you no matter what. <3 :)

As for me, DH and I did end up going to VA at the last minute for Christmas. DH's father talked him into it by bribing him with new tires for our car since we desperately needed them but can't afford them. My brakes are also on the list of things I need but can't afford but I think I have enough time to wait until I get my income tax refund. The A/C also went out which was a bummer because going up there we had to drive in the rain with the windows cracked so it wouldn't fog up. The hot weather we had during Christmas was no so pleasing without A/C either. So that I will definitely need repairing before early spring/summer hits here or else I may die of a heat stroke.

We only stayed 2 days in VA and I was very happy about that. We ended up going to Charlotte and stayed there for 2 days. It was so fun. I had one of the best birthday's in a really long time and DH did everything he could to make it a good one. We wanted to check out this french bakery that a friend of mine had recommended but as we are driving there, we passed by 3 micro breweries so we had an idea we were entering "hipster" territory lol....We pull up and the place is so packed and is beside another brewery that DH and my anxiety kicked in and we didn't go. Too many people + hipsters = no bueno for us. So I found a mexican bakery which took us to the bad part of town and we had to run for our lives lol....All this just to get a pastry for my birthday. We end up getting a great deal for a hotel and the front desk person was so nice and they sold cupcakes from a local bakery so we bought one for each of us. It was so good!!! We got some shopping in while we were there and I finally got some bras to fit me which was a relief.

We came home and finally got to do our Christmas gift exchange. DH was happy with everything he got. He basically got his whole list except for two games that he ended up buying himself. He got me some clothes that I needed and a really nice denim jacket....and this reallllyyyy good smelling perfume from Gucci. My BIL got me a japanese kitty coffee mug straight from Japan...it's so cute and I have been drinking out of it daily ever since. I got him a few t-shirts...he's so hard to buy for but he was still happy. We had a really nice breakfast that day and it felt good to feel like family. See the 3 of us are like the black sheep of our families so it worked out that my BIL moved in with us. We all get along well for the most part.

Other than that I've been deep cleaning my house for the past week. My house hasn't looked this clean in years. I'm also planning to paint and spruce up the place over the next few months. I've lived here for almost 6 years now and I don't think that I'm going anywhere anytime soon. I figured it's time to actually make this house feel like a home and give it character. I still need to go through my closet and organize all of that but I got so much done this week that my muscles are so achy. I guess that's a good thing because it's been a few weeks since I've exercised. I got some work outs in while I was house sitting but it go to be so much going to work, making sure those dogs were taken care of and getting a workout in. It would be so late at night and I would end up having to eat dinner and go to bed. It was too tiring so I had to stop half way through the last week we were there and I haven't worked out since so it's probably been close to a month. I've gained weight because of that and not following my plan 100% but you know, I'm ok with that. I know I'll lose what I've gained so there isn't any reason for me to beat myself up about it.

I don't normally make New Year's resolutions because I think they're stupid lol...But one thing I told myself I wanted to do this year was to not obsess over the scale. I didn't realize how obsessive I was until DH and I were having an argument about something and he mentioned about me being so obsessive over weighing myself. When I actually stopped to think about it, he was right. I got to where I probably would weigh myself 2 to 3 times a day. It's way too much and not necessary. By the time my weigh in day would come it wouldn't be much of a surprise if I lost or gained. I just got too entangled to make sure I didn't screw up that I bet I made it worse for me with losing than I did helping myself. I'm getting so close to my goal that I don't want to risk not making it because I've become crazy over it, and that's where I was. I'm pledging to myself that I won't weigh myself no more than 2 times the whole week. I need to keep my sanity. I know that may sound crazy, and some people can weight themselves daily with no problem. I thought that about myself at first, but as time went on and I would start to check almost every time I went to the bathroom I knew it was out of hand. So here's to a new year and a new me! Taking baby steps one day at a time!

I'm back to reality tomorrow....It's going to be weird going back to work. I really hope I'm not walking into a battle ground of paperwork and crap that I need to do because nobody bothered to do it while I was gone. It seems like everyone can help each other when someone is out or on vacation, but when I'm gone I get no help except what comes in the door that day. I don't know why that is but we'll see what happens.

This is a long post so I'm going to end it here. Just wanted to update everyone and let you know I'm here and not leaving so don't worry. Take care everyone. :)

Oh by the way....Fi I LOVE the 3 kings collage!!