Welcome Jenn!
Great job on losing 40 pounds!
We all have to find what works for us and what we can live with.
Our history sounds so much alike. What works for me is protein for breakfast. Then, I have a greek yogurt everyday at 10 am. Lunch is protein and veggies. I have an afternoon snack and dinner is protein, veggies and maybe some carbs. I have an evening snack and then STOP. As I've lost more weight my portions have gone down. Also knowing I have snacks coming helps with the "I'm so hungry!" monster.
I read
The Beck Diet Solution which goes with any diet, since it deals with only emotional hang ups. In the book she teaches many coping techniques. The most important for me was learning "Hunger is not an emergency."
As for exercise, I am really out of shape so I go for walks. Any type of moving is good.
Keep reading, keep learning, and keep contributing.
Good luck Jenn!