mnemosyne just a ps.
I had EXACTLY the same feelings when I did a charity trek in Iceland. I was last in each day but I did it. I cope much better with the cold and the high winds than the skinny chicks ( I should have been a polar bear!) and I was the life and soul of the camp at supper time.
If I had known whatan amazing time I would have before I went I would NEVER have been so anxious.:D

I can feel the same way about reading posts in the other sections of the board sometimes. I ventured out to the rest of the board for an exercise question once and was told basically I was "too fat" to exercise, so I just high-tailed it back here LOL

Sometimes it's really odd to see a post on a diet forum from someone who weighs less than I did when I was a size 6. It's not a bad thing, it's just as you said, like I'm so freakish I don't belong. But I'm happier than I was at a size 6, and I can't ignore that.

Having been everything from relatively thin to over 300 pounds, I know that how people treat you differs based on your weight. But I also know it differs based on your height, your age, whether you have makeup or not, etc. Since I'm kind of an in-your-face person, if someone is rude to me in public I say something about it. But also if they're really nice, I say something then, too.

It took a while, but quite a while ago I realized that if someone doesn't like how I look, they can bite it. I don't have time to deal with that anymore, and it's not accurate anyway. You can tell from my avatar I'm no beauty queen, but I've had guys wink at me. I get asked to dance at bars and get flirted with every once in a while. So if some crabby person tries to tell me fat people are supposed to be unloved, I know they're wrong. Then I say so, because I'm a loudmouth!

Yup. But so what? They judge? Yay for them. It's not like they can hand you a sentence to serve! The only one who can put you in some kind of inner jail is you, and you can quit. (Either alone or by seeking medical pros to help you)
This. In my day I have had people call me names (strangers) but it's been YEARS. And I'm still fat. The difference? I do not know.

I keep on living my life. I have a good time. :)

Maybe it is age, maybe it is where I hang the most -- school, church, errands, volunteering -- like its less strangers and then the strangers I do meet are of a better quality people manners wise?

Whatever. Just because you are surrounded by turkeys doesn't mean you aren't an eagle. Ignore the catcalling mean strangers. Whatever baggage/burden they are suffering that they want to spill emotional vomit on to others -- it's they who have a problem. Not you.

Being fat is not a crime -- for some of us it's illness like PCOS/hypothyorid (me!), for some it's emotional eating gone extreme (me too! before my dx because I was depressed about no dx!), it could be some other reason that brought us to high weight.

And it is trying to take better care of ourselves that leads us to these boards, our bikes, our bathing suits, and so on.

That's no crime either. To want to improve.

A.

Cherry - first! Happy birthday! Second, I'm so glad you went to the movies, discovered that you fit, and enjoyed yourself. That was an important step, and I know exactly how you felt when you wanted to call it off. Kudos!

As for folks at the gym, I think part of it is that you get back what you give out. If you are self-conscious people might avoid you. Though on that point both you and notperfect are stronger than me. I have a treadmill at home and I garden. I don't have a gym. I am considering joining the local Y because I love to swim, have a new swimsuit that fits (old ones = too big!) and want to swim. But -

- well, one of my buts is schedule, but the other is STRANGERS. I am working on my schedule and hope to remember you both when I have to confront the STRANGERS bit.

mountain walker - wow! Even I am not sure I would do a charity trek in Iceland. That sounds spectacular. Someday I am going to go back to the UK and come to Wales and have you take me mountain walking. :)

Seriously? That's nuts. Try our your exercise question here then, maybe?

Oh, astrophe and katkitten y'all are now my heroes. katkitten, I quit smoking, oh, eight or nine years ago now. I think weight loss is still harder, but you're right. If I can do that, I can do this and it will make me a badass.

mnemosyne, thanks for the birthday wishes and kind words. Dealing with strangers at the pool i am beginning to learn is mind over matter, the first time is tough then the next is less difficult and so on and so forth and next thing you'll feel like you practically own the pool lol.

Cheers, I am going to remember that and use it as a charm when I get the schedule under control!

mountain walker - wow! Even I am not sure I would do a charity trek in Iceland. That sounds spectacular. Someday I am going to go back to the UK and come to Wales and have you take me mountain walking( quote from mnemosyne)
mnemosyne I did it for a cancer charity and I can safely say it changed my life ( long story!) .....I did come back with a broken leg but what's a broken leg when you have been to the most fabulous country, seen the most incredible scenery and finally found people who think you are rather ACE!
You are welcome any time to explore our beautiful Welsh mountains.....bring waterproofs as it rains........alot!!:D