I need major help... I went and bought a new scale yesterday and well the results were mind blowing. I had no idea at all that I weighed what I weigh. The last time that I weighed myself i was around the 320 point, which we all know is big enough, but my scale broke when i moved in with my fiance and so i had not weighed for a long time. So i weighed myself and i weigh 378 pounds. HOW DID I LET THIS HAPPEN? It makes me sick to even think about where I am and to know just HOW MUCH work i am going to have to do in order to get this under control. It has to be a life change and not just a fix. I have to get healthier now. I know that I am not healthy, i have not been to a doctor in almost ten years. I can only imagine the first thing they would say... you need to lose weight. Well obviously i know that i need to lose weight, but in all reality i am to lazy/busy to do it. I work full time, i am a full time student, and i also sell avon. I do not have those extra thirty minutes to make a meal plan and prepare lunches. I should be doing my homework at this moment right now, but I needed someone to talk to. I have been on this site before and i have always strayed away and stopped working on my weight loss. My wonderful fiance proposed on Christmas morning at midnight, and we have been together for almost two years now. He loves me for who I am and he will be by my side 100% He also needs to lose weight himself and he said that once i get serious with everything that he would also. So with that being said he is here to take this journey with me, but i refuse to let him know what i weigh. The only people that know are the people that read this thread. And I am embarrassed just by this, but i know that I have to get this out there. I am getting married September 22,2012 so i have plenty of time to lose a significant amount of weight before i have to buy a wedding dress. but i need to start now.. i want to be able to have children as does my fiance, but at the weight that i am it will not happen. It hasnt yet and we havent been trying to prevent it. Those few times that I give in and actually have sex ( so uncomfortable at this weight, and im sooo self conscious) we have not gotten pregnant. But that is something that will have to wait, first thing is first... WHERE DO I START?

I know that this is kind of long, and pretty random, but I need people to talk to, I need friends. PLEASE I BEG THAT YOU HELP ME. I AM ONLY 27 AND I DO NOT WANT TO DIE YOUNG. I NEED TO BETTER MY LIFE NOW, BEFORE ITS TO LATE.

Thanks, Malissa from Indiana

I am also a full time student, work 55 hours a week and I have a two year old and 9 month old. You have to make you a priority, if you can find time to shower and brush your teeth you can find time to plan meals and excercise. We have to stop making excuses. I do the same thing but I know that the truth is I put more time in at the drive thrus than i do the gym. It took three long years of infertility before we concieved our first daughter, and it was ****. I was miserable throughout my pregnancies just from the extra weight. You can do this. I can do this. We can do this together. We have to make the comittment and follow through.

I'm glad you have come here ~ that is a good first step. This site and the people here have been so helpful to me ~ it is good to know that we are not alone ~ there are others in the same boat.

You can do it ~ you have youth on your side ~ it is great that you are taking steps now to improve your health. And great that your fiance is supportive of you.

Don't look at the big picture ~ just take it a little at a time. And one day at a time ~ if you slip up just start right back up. One meal, one moment ~ each meal or day is another chance to do the right things.

You can do it!!

I wish you and your fiance all the best ~ never give up ~ just keep trying.

Take care

Welcome to the site Malissa! I feel your pain and understand what you are going through. On this site you will find support to help you reach your goals.

Welcome back, Malissa! I'm sorry you're feeling bad about the weight on that new scale. But getting it and finding out where you really are is for sure the first step. Can't change what we don't acknowledge and all that. And the second step, of course, coming here!

I understand about being busy, and I also understand about feeling overwhelmed by the starting amount you have to lose. Both of those things can make it seem like an impossible dream to lose weight. But the fact is, you absolutely can do it once you really get your mind around it. So many of us on here are chipping away at it, and there's really nothing special about us. We all have huge time commitments and huge amounts to lose. But at some point, you just gotta tell yourself, "I AM DOING THIS. PERIOD." For me, my first action once I told myself that and really believed myself, was to go to the grocery store and get myself set up.

When you are ready, REALLY READY, nothing will stop you. Hang in here, I know you will find the support you need!

Hi Malissa I know what it's like to start this journey facing a very long road. The amount I have to lose seems so impossible sometimes however it get easier with every week that passes. I went from 'I cant do this' to 'I'm doing this!'
I've always been so keen to get to my goal that I plowed into a diet like a bull with a red flag. I eventually became fed up with slow losses, unsatisfying food and the fact that I had to lose SOOO much that every 5lbs loss seemed like a drop in a bucket.
This time I'm slowing this right down, I'm having fun with it, crunching numbers, finding little things that work for me, getting to know my body better, focusing on health. So even though it looks like I'm going to have a gain this week (without cheating or going off plan) I really dont mind, because I'm finding it so damn enjoyable.

Enjoy your journey! Best of Luck!

Hey Malissa, I know how you feel about having a long road because I started around the same place as you. Just know that it can be done. And yes, it might take up every little second of your extra time, but be clear about it--your health and your life are worth that extra time. Meal planning will take extra time in that you need to be prepared, but not necessarily more so than the trips to run out to get takeout food or anything like that. Perhaps you will need to be one of those people who has a meal plan and cooks most of the stuff on the weekend so it makes the week go more smoothly. There are also plenty of things to cook that don't take a lot of time, but that are perfectly healthy. The first step is having a can-do attitude.

That said, you can do it!

Welcome! It sounds like you already have a huge amount going on, so it is probably best to try and focus on what you can do rather than worry about what you can't. Also, can your fiancee help with food prep? Hopefully you can work as a team and find ways to fit what you can into your lives.

When answering the question of why did I let myself get this way, the answer I try to give was that it was the best way I knew at the time to take care of myself. It was destructive, but I didn't have more constructive means available to me for whatever reason. Don't beat yourself up for where you are. You are where you are, and now it is time to find better tools.

You know, Its funny that you say you "dont have time" (not, of course, because I dont think thats true, or a valid point) but because I ran into a situation the other day where I was made to feel like less of a wife and mother than I am...

A gal that I attends the circut training and kickboxing classes I do asked me how I had time to workout at 6am as well as 6pm, meal plan, care for my family, work, go to school, take care of the house and the dog, and so on...

I told her that when I started this- I HAD to make it about me. Thats not to say that I ditched my responsibilities anywhere else, but this was MY time. 45 minutes in the morning, 45 minutes at night. It doesnt take me much longer to meal plan and prepare my breakfast, lunch, and snacks in the morning than it used to, plus hubby and kiddo are usually still asleep.

She responded with, "well, I have children and a husband who need my time, and thats more important."

I have since learned that this is something I am doing for me, however, the benefits are positive all the way around.. for each and every person in my life.

You have to learn to budget your time- make yourself a schedule..
5:30am- wake up
6:00- Gym
7:00- get ready for work
8:00- 5:00pm- WORK ugggggh!
6:00p-gym
7:00p-Dinner
8:00p-Homework
9:30p- Get family in bed
10p- Hopefully fall asleep

Then wake up and do it all over!

I usually plan the following weeks meals on Saturday or Sunday. I make sure I have everything I need at the store, and sometimes I split things up into seperate containers so its easy.

At first- I had no clue! you will get it, I promise! Just keep trucking! ALSO- like mentioned before- try setting small goals- 5 pounds at a time- and REWARD yourself for acheiving these goals.

This is one of the hardest things we have ever had to do- It IS a lifestyle change and at times seems impossible.

If you ever feel discouraged or need to talk, just get on here! There are so many AMAZING women who are more than willing to be here for you, and encourage you!

You got this girl- You totally got this..

The best thing you can do is start working on your health if you focus on that the weight loss will follow. You can't wait for your fiancee to be ready and he can't wait for you. It just makes it harder!
I started by supplementing the foods in my home. I replaced ground beef with ground turkey, Beef hamburger patties w/ turkey ones, All bread and pasta is whole wheat, started buying fish and finding ways to prep it that I like so I would be more encouraged to eat the fish, we reduced how often we eat red meat. At this point I was not worrying about my weight as the number one thing I was worrying about what I was eating and what it is doing to my body. When that was changed healthier foods were not only going in to my body but my husband and childrens too. Once that was done the change into smaller portions and calorie counting was so much easier because the healthier foods have lower calories so you can eat more and they keep you full longer.
I have a series of articles I am writing about my life changes and journey on yahoo it is called trials and tribulations of a fat gir...who use to be thin. There is also a thread on here with lots of healthy recipes. You don't have to take long to prep and cook your foods but make the time for it because it can be the difference between living for another 10 years or living for another 40 and thats a big difference!! Good luck I know it is really hard and I hope this helps!!

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words... It means a lot to know that I am not alone. I know that i need to put my priorities in order and i am have started working on this. I actually went to church for the first time today and i feel so refreshed, cant wait to go back next week. I think that this will also help me as i will be able to find people in my area to talk/walk/exercise with. Not to fond of being alone. But like I said i am definitely working in the right direction. and dont plan on looking back!!!

Hi! I remember the day I realized that something really had to give...it was about 2 months ago. Seeing the number on the scale scared me, and left me feeling devestated. I'm a full time student, and I work full time as well. It definitely isn't easy trying to juggle everything that needs to be done. I've found that what works for me was to just take it one day at a time for a while, try to squeeze what you can in. You'll eventually develop the habit, and the pattern and you can go from there.

Good luck!!!!!!

-Kristy-

Well, it's good to see a new start. I was in the same boat as you a while ago, both in weight and health problems. The thing that pushed me over the edge was knee problems, I could not walk up the stairs, or around the block, so I know from where you speak.

Your comment about "eating healthy" rang a bell with me. I decided not to go on a diet program, the problem was how to live in such a manner that I ate properly, and, hopefully, the weight loss would follow. What I did was find a few meals that I could eat that were both healthy, and reasonably low in carbs (I'm a T2 diabetic) . Yes, they lack diversity, but they are always on the shelf and its now just as easy to eat properly as to eat poorly. The other think I did was start with a simple rule: no pure starches ( that means no cereal, bread, cakes , cookies, pastries, donuts, pasta, potatoes , rice, etc). This was as much to help the BG levels as to lose weight. I do have a large salad for lunch ( one of the easy meals at work in place of the ever tempting greasy burger and fries). So, step one the food is make a simple rule that will get you to eat healthier, and think out a few meals that will be easy to prepare.

The other thing I did was start exercising, which for me, meant walking. I started buy just going around the block and worked up to a reasonable distance. These days I walk 5 miles every morning. Every morning I do it, there is something else I have to do, so I just ask myself a simple question: "what is the most important thing I can do for my health today?". The answer is always take the walk.

It's taken me about a year to loose 85 lbs, but , the way I figure it, it is better than gaining 85 lbs. I could just as easily be 435 now instead of 265. For some of us, there is no upper limit

Good luck with your new beginning

--G