I just need to unload a little bit. Things have been so incredibly stressful recently, and I'm having a hard time coping.
Money I am very, very broke right now. I have a full time job, but am in debt, and can't seem to pull myself out of it. I did get a part time job that starts in a week and a half. The first payday won't be until October 15th. I know it's better than nothing. It does mean that I'll be working 70+ hours a week though. If that's what I have to do though, to get myself over this hurdle, I will. It just sucks that something like money can cause so much stress. Stress causes unhealthiness and usually drives me RIGHT TO FOOD (more on that later). I'm not sure what to do until October 15th though, I'm pretty much living on whatever change I can find. ALl I can try to do is breathe.
Health I have been feeling so very, very ill the past 3 days. Ever since I started dieting and eating better, my TOM started up again. It's "great", but, also really stinks. It hasn't really stopped, however, for about 30 days now. I've always had problems being "regular", though. I called my doctor to see if I could start my BC again to regulate. She wrote me the prescription and I've been taking it for the past 3 weeks. BUT, it's not stopping what it's supposed to be stopping. I'm not terribly surprised I haven't felt well. I have an appointment next week, so hopefully it helps. I'm guessing that she'll put me on a stronger BC, which will make me sicker (I always get so naseous when I take it). but, I'd rather be sick, I guess, than deal with a never ending cycle. I also messed up my knee somehow (not sure), so that's made excersing "fun"
Work Very stressful and annoying. My bosses are jerks, and the company I work for is crap. They treat their employees horribly. I could go on, but I know every workplace has its problems. I stayed home sick yesterday and put in about 30 online applications. I'm hopeful one of them pans out.
Weight Loss I have been doing PRETTY well with weight loss (in my opinion at least). I'm down a few more pounds (probably from being sick). Some days are tougher than others, but, as a positive - I'm "proud" of myself for pretty much sticking to plan even with a lot of stress. Today will be a big test. My mom passed away 3 and a half years ago. Today is her birthday. She was only 53 when she passed. I'm the only daughter, and was incredibly close to her. So, it's not an easy day by any means. However, I am remembering that part of the reason that I'm on my weight loss journey is so I can get healthy so I don't have the problems she had in life (she was diabetic, but skinny as a needle. Lots o' problems, though. She eventually passed from a brain aneursym though - nothing relaly to do with most of her other conditions). But, I know that if I dont' change my ways, I'm destined for the same type of fate.
My mini goal is to get to the 200's by Halloween (only around 15 more lbs to go). Fairly confident I can do it. If I do, though, I want to reward myself with something (obviously nothing to do with food). Only problem is, it can't cost much (or anything). Any ideas of a small reward?
Well, for anyone that's still reading, thanks. I really just needed to unload and de-stress. I try really hard not to be a negative person, to always look for the positives (and I know I do have some), but, when the negatives effect my day to day living so much it's difficult.
Happy Friday to you all!
Long "vent" post
