Pink: that sucks! I hope you find the funds soon.

Lindy:The problem is my son is 19 and the mom is 17. She will be 18 in July. As far as I know..they are getting along good. For now. Her parents have told her at 18 she is not getting anymore support from them for the baby. So we will see what happens. I do not understand how you can just kick your child to the curb.

I love that everyone is here just chatting away!!!!!!

Tonight is game 3 of the SUNS! I think my aunt and I are going to a bar and grill to watch!

Having a very frustrating week. I am seriously bloated (not even TOM) not losing anything (what I lost earlier this week is back +) eating on plan plus incorporated tons of veggies (which I have accounted for) am drinking more water and still exercising. Just frustrated.
Also just to add insult to injury I seem to have NO energy to work out. I push through it, but it is a struggle (I was not really having too much problem before this week). It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I have been stressed with a sick child, no sleep (because he wakes up at 2 am and wants to sleep on mom) and had a challenging early part of the week (which seemed to not really be a problem at the time.... maybe it is biting back now).

All I can do is keep on doing what I know I should. I am going to take a break from the elliptical tonight and do some yoga instead (never done yoga before... this should be interesteing) and see if I by chance injured myself somehow and that is the problem. I am going to up my protein and hope that will make a difference.

I know plateaus happen, but that doesn't make them any less frustrating. I am so close to losing 50 lbs. I was really hoping to be there by Monday morning (my WI day... I weigh every day, but only count Mondays for my weekly loss).

I resisted donuts this morning despite being down on myself so that is good, but darn it was harder this morning then it has been in months.

Thanks for letting me vent. Sunday I will hit my 20 days and will have a ticker on Monday

Happy happy Friday!

I'm on the countdown until my vacation and I got on the scale this morning and I was down a pound! YAY! Seven more and I'll be out of the 300's and FOR GOOD! I am swearing to myself never to be here again.

I changed my diet and I'm not as snacky hungry anymore, and I learned that some sugar-free food is rather tasty lol For breakfast instead of my usual round in the cafeteria, I'm having two pieces of Sara Lee's 45 cal bread as toast with a smidgen of PB and sugar free jelly and a sugar free instant breakfast (I cant remember the brand, but its in a blue container lol) and for lunch I'll either make a skinny pb/j sammich or one of my Lean Cusines and dinner I eat normally, just a smaller portion and I do NOT eat after 7pm unless I HAVE to.

So I'm in the right direction. I found loads of yummy lo-cal foods at walmart yesterday so that was exciting (especially the single servings of caulaflower and cheese and the broccoli and cheese green giant frozen things haha 40 calories for a whole tray!)

So that's my happy for the day. I hope everyone has a good weekend and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the mothers out there!

Good Morning all,

The sun is shining and no clouds are in the horizon!

Lindy: I am so upset at your dad. I honestly with all my heart will call him and talk to him if you think it may help you. I feel so badly for you. I used to call myself a circus fat lady. I am so thankful that even though some people looked me up and down like I was the circus fat lady no one actually said it out loud to me. Please know that you are not alone. Please know that I have just met you and you are already in my heart. I love you and am praying that you will remember you have the love for yourself to overcome this situation. I have written a book about my journey and also taken pictures and measurements etc. I am hoping to get it published and I think Rat's idea for you to do it is wonderful. Even if you never publish it as I haven't yet, it is so healing to put your feelings that sometimes are too hard to say out there at least on paper. Write a letter to your Dad. Even if you never send it. Tell him everything, everything you want him to know. I wish so much more than ever that I have money so I could come and walk with you and sit beside you and encourage you. So, for now, I will have to do it from here. Please don't stop coming back. I would love your email address if you would like a pen pal of sorts via email. PM me if you think it is a good idea. If not that is okay too. No pressure involved. Just know that you are someone super special. You ate the thin mints but..... your next eating appointment is a new one. Don't wait until tomorrow to start fresh. Start fresh right now. I was in your shoes. About ready to have to have surgery on my back because I couldn't walk. I felt like I was at the end of my rope. God gave me the strength. I asked Him to and He did. Please Lindy, please don't give up! Hugs, hugs and more hugs.

Rat: I am glad that I can remind all of us including myself to be thankful. I have arthritis in my hip too, it wasn't my back that I was causing me to not be able to walk before, anyway, it hurts but like you, I push through the pain. You are so strong. Such a strong woman. You can do it and you will be so happy with yourself for doing it. I'm proud of you. When I was working I spent my breaks and lunch walking too and it just gets that old brain thinking about more important things than work. Hugs and keep it up!

Pink: So sorry about your panic/stress. It seems that $ and stress surely go together. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. That is a hard thing to take in but. I really believe it.

Wow, I sound a bit like a preacher today. lol. Sorry guys. I do love my Jesus and I don't mean to push my beliefs off on anyone but, it is really what gets me through the hard times, talking to Him. I am not perfect I get stressed and scared but I know whatever situation I am going through is a temporary one. It will change if I only give it time. I love you guys and pray for you all daily.

I hope that you are all in a sunny place today, moving your booties, drinking that water and staying on your program.

I need to go to a store, I'm thinking JC Penney's cause I have a $10 coupon, and get some socks. I love my little/big now, Moosie to death but when he was a bit younger he would grab at my feet with his sharp little puppy teeth and has put holes in most of my socks. Thank God he is out of that stage now. tee hee. So, I need new socks.

I am going to attach my before picture to this post just to let Lindy see I know first hand where she is coming from.

Hugs and blessings
Annie :)

I rambled on so long that I have a couple more people to hollah out to.


Cyn: Hope the outcome of the game is exactly what you want it to be!

Amy: I think upping your protein is the best idea. I love Yoga. I do it on Wednesdays with a group and I just love it. Great job saying no to donuts.

Meri: Woo hoo for another -1. I just love it when we find good foods!

Okie dokie I think I am really caught up now and need to move my bootie and get going.

Blessings,
Annie

Amy - maybe your body is saying - gimme a break for a day from exercise. It's important to rest too - a key component in the weight loss journey.

Lindy - my dad recently told me "at least you don't have to go to Omar the Tent Maker for your clothes any more". I know he thought he was complimenting me but it was such an insult I'm still not over it. He is doing the best he knows how to help me - that kind of help I can do without though.

Annie - have I told you lately you're the greatest!

Rat - I'm gonna get 175 today - no matter what - the gauntlet is down.

Catherine - need Banff recommendations - we'll be there the evening of May 22. Have booked the ferry from Prince Rupert to Haines. I'll be ready to be out of the car by then! The plan has come together!

I did two hours of intense water aerobics this morning - feeling good!

Hugs to all,
Carol

Carol: Awwww gee! lol. Thanks sweetie. Give Catherine a hug for me. My parents love Banff. They still talk about the elk roaming the streets. lol.

Blessings all,
Annie

AHHH Banff. The Banff Springs is glorious, but expensive. High tea overlooking the mountains is memorable. You can ride the gondola to the top, or take a dip in the springs. As to restaurants, there's a Greek one downtown in Banff that even has dancers and plate throwing once a week.

Ok I am just going to chalk today up to a crap day... You all saw my venting earlier in thread... well tonight I went to Subway to pick up sandwiches for the family (after taking sick dog to the vet)... and the little teenager behind the counter asks me how far along I am. I have lost 47 lbs and that sort of comment just makes me think it hasn't made a bit of difference. I am sure she was actually more embarressed then I was when I said "I'm not" but it still was a bit of a blow. I am handling it better now since I am know I am doing something about the problem then I would have last year, but it is still a blow.

GOOD NIGHT to everyone - hopefully most of you are sleeping. Pain and breathing problems keep me up a lot at night. I don't sleep much and am perpetually sleep deprived. At least now I look forward to reading your post and I do feel less alone.

AMY - the world is full of ignorant people - chalk the subway gal up to that - you ARE doing something about it. I, on the other hand, will be doing a happy dance when someone thinks I'm expecting rather than just enormous! Reward yourself with something healthy - you've made it through a tough week. A healthy baby is exhausting, a sick one can really take a toll on your energy.

CAROL - travel safely - what a great adventure! My dad knows Omar's cousin, he calls him Ollie the tentmaker. And all these years I thought I was the only one with a relative like that. How do you deal with the snide comments?

CYN - how did the game go? Did you ever tell me what kind of crafts you enjoy? I cannot understand how any mother can turn her back on a child, but after teaching for 21 years I've seen it happen. Hopefully, you'll have some Granny time in the future.

MEM - YEA for getting to the bring of the 200's -tell us the minute you get there so we can celebrate with you!!!

PINK - You sure have a lot of challenges and I am praying that you will find solutions to all of them. Money is a hard one. Hope you are feeling better.
Did you get another Dr appointment made?

ANNIE - Dear Annie, THANK YOU so much for your heartfelt concern. You have no idea what all of the support on this site means to me. Your willingness to post your picture reminded me that you really know what this feels like.

I really believe you would call my dad or come face him down for me and I must tell you that just makes me weep. If you met my dad you would find him charming and witty and wonderful. People at church always told me how lucky I was to have such a father. He is generous with our son, he is good at literally everything, he just believes it is his duty to berate me until I become the person he thinks I should be and I will never be good enough.

I realize with your post just how isolated I have become and that it is a lot of my doing. I would be terrified if you were coming here. No one should have to see me like this.

So where do I go from here???

BABY STEPS - THE BOOK idea is a great one. Both you and RAT suggested writing a book and it would be a great way to sort out thoughts, etc. I'm not sure I'd want to publish it - but it is a great idea.

I have set up an email account just for my fluffy friends at 3 fat chicks. That way your emails won't get lost in the spam.

That email is: OOPS, this site won't let me publish an email address because I have not posted enough. So I am going to share it with you this way:

Put the following words all together in row:

lindys baby steps and then make one of those little at signs and
put an a o l next a dot and then the letters c o m

THis is me being rebellious.

Blessings --Lindy

Lindy - in case you can't tell you've touched each of us here and we're so glad you're here. As for dealing with the snide comments - I've realized it is out of ignorance that both of my parents say those things. I still have not 100% identified the "why" of my obesity but I know it has some foundation with childhood - no child should weigh 172 lbs in 1st grade as I did. I'm trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps and just do it - I'm 52 years old and I'm now attempting to make the good choices about life. As for the Alaska trip - never would I have considered this before - one of my friends is actually concerned that this is a mid-life crisis going off with my 25 year old nephew. DH and I are looking at it as a door I previously wouldn't have unlocked let alone opened and gone through. DH is so supportive of my healthy lifestyle - even though at times it's a challenge with me being more confident and "happy". Yep - I'm happy. Sore for the long winded post - I so want to share the love yourself philosophy I've learned from these chicks filled with wisdom. Rat and Annie are spot on (no surprise there) - get it down on paper - even if it's just for you!

Catherine - Banff was a huge win in the trip planning - I shared your stories of Banff (yes - I even remembered them) and he was ready to go! Not sure how much time we will have there but a soak would be wonderful. We will stop there for the night - any lodging suggestions?

I saw a whoosh on the scale (Battle - I miss you) this morning - hoping to come back from this trip and see the scale show me 100 lbs lost! I've been fighting to get there so long - I think my mind is finally ready.

Move your bodies, drink your water and SMILE.

Lindy - I think toxic people are toxic and people who make those kind of comments to me are destructive individuals. With my step mother, who to be honest is and was the core of a lot of horrible things in my life, she was a very destructive person. She used to say things about my weight to me, in front of people, in fact she one time yelled at me while we were visiting family in front of this really pretty girl that was staying over. She told me how disgusting I was, how that girl was prettier than me, how I was so fat and ugly and a disappointment. The girl was shocked at this and actually held me all night while I sobbed. This event imprinted on me and I remmber if vividly and it is in rotation of my nightmares that I have. She hated me, hated my smile, hated me because of what her son did to me when I was a little girl. So, over the years she basically dragged me down so low that I almost didn't survive that. Believe it or not, it wasn't until 2002 that I officially dealt with her and the situation and my way of moving on was to break off contact, but not before I told her and my father that I was DONE with their abuse. I have to say, for me it was the BEST decision and to this day I have not spoken to my step-mother. My father I limit to a few phone calls and emails. I feel sorry for him and yeah apart of me does love him, but he is a very weak individual. He is unable to see the truth of what she and her son did to me so he chose her over me in a heartbeat. Of course NOW I'm in a toxic relationship, which I have to admit I'm mad at myself over. Part of my depression has been the realization of this that I ALLOWED someone to treat me poorly. I DO deserve better. I'm not ready to move on just yet, I'm unable to actually, but I will at some point soon. I need to be brave, move on, conquer myself and my life! I'm 32 years old! I want to LIVE! I feel like I've been in purgatory for so many years...I believe we've all felt like that. Like we are in one big waiting room...waiting. *HUGS* Hang in there...I think the letter idea is good. For me expressions of feelings to my parents did NOTHING and that is what hurt the most. My parents care only about themselves...so there wasn't a point for me. There might be for you, so I do think expressing your feelings is important. No one should EVER make you feel like a waste of space.

Carol - I hope you have a good and successful trip! :D I've been pumping myself up to get moving again...I think this summer is the SUMMER of CHANGE! :D I plan on getting my butt out there...WOO!

*****
Bah personals kept short as I have to make a phone call in like a few minutes lol. *just got a voicemail blah blah*

Quick update. Cold is MOVING on...hurrah! I feel really good. I got NEW SHOES! Pink and grey sneakers for $30 bucks on sale! New balance trainers...they are so comfy! My old shoes were hurting me, I have blisters and sores from the plastic rubbing on my skin. I've had them for like 6 years though so go figure!

Tree is still blocking some of the parking, but I found out at pottery that they too thought it was tornado like! They also think it is odd there has been no news. I told them about the tree and they said that there are huge trees down everywhere. I saw a lot of damage, so yeah I think you're right Rat and Annie...some sort of freak microburst storm! Odd to happen in this area, but so far we've had like two floods and perhaps this is a sign of things to come. Muahahahah!

I'm STANDING UP for myself more. When my BF does something that is hurtful I'm telling him, calmly, to stop and if he doesn't then I'm learning how to walk away. Things are a bit better, but to be honest it has been so hard for so many years...I think we need some time apart and I do need to move on. I don't know...I can't right now, I have to get back on my feet, but I want to do so many things. I'm conflicted because I love him, but when I look at him I get upset because I feel like I've allowed myself to be in this situation. I am NOT the world's punching bag!

I am learning how to put myself first. It has been two years since I started this journey...and I feel like I've learned a lot, but now I need to learn how to not be so scared, how to handle my emotions better, and how to move forward and not be afraid of that. I'm not there yet, but I WILL BE!

*HUGS*

Jacquie: HUGS!!! I moved on from my Mother's neglect when I was 28. My mom never abused me about my weight. She neglected me. I was raised by my grandparents and am SO THANKFUL for that. My mom was more of a friend to me growing up. And while I enjoyed it when i was a teen cause she would buy me and my friends beer and pot..it was also toxic.At the age of 28 I finally said enough was enough! I too told her off and how I felt. AGAin..she like yours didnt care..didnt believe..and it didnt matter. Now I see her obnce a year or so..and she only calls me once in a great while. BUT I can dealw ith her now. When she starts down her pitty road I am able to get in her face and stand my ground. I am very blessed that I don't have a toxic relationship with hubby because of this. My grandparents were not angels either. My grandpa cheated on my grandmother til the very end. My grandma did ALOT of spanking to me and my brother. I will admit we drove her bonkers lol. BUt I think alot of it was her taking out her frustrations of her own life on us. I HOPE and pray you can oneday get away from that relationship..and have a healthy one..you deserve it!

Linday:I sew,scrapbook,make cards for our heros over seas from a group called operation write home. You can google them! I love all crafts! The game was awesome!! We had a good time!

Today for me: I am determined to get unpacking done. Now that they have completed fixing the roof and tile is done I can dust what i did have unpacked. Limiting myself on computer today.

Carol-Everytime we've gone, someone else was paying. There's always the youth hostel, but Austin says that's pretty grungy. He suggested the Banff Park Lodge. It's close to downtown. I think my favorite shop there is the one with all these cool fossils. Just stay out of the jewelry shops. They will make you crazy and blow your budget.

Lindy-I had to break off communication with my mother at first. I didn't see her, or talk to her for over 5 years. We wrote letters, and that was it. I have been talking to her on the phone now for about 6 months. It was almost like a reboot. She's respectful and pleasant.

Here's my before and after:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3086/...768115b7_m.jpghttp://farm4.static.flickr.com/3122/...374cf6ea_m.jpg

Catherine - they are full - darnit! They recommend the Bow River Inn/Lodge - guess it really doesn't matter - we'll be in Banff!!!! Our day to Prince George is fairly short compared to most of our travel days - we are both excited about this stop. Funny to think the same thing excites a 25 year old single male as his old aunt - gotta love him. Thanks for the info - this looks like a wonderful place plus I remember how much you enjoyed it. Really want to have time for the springs.