[Journey2010]

I would love to report that I'm doing well and that I've lost some weight but I haven't. Weird thing is I have been moving around a TON and yet my eating hasn't been great. I've still been turning to chocolate. I've gotten my regular eating under control it's just that darn chocolate. I've had stress in my life as always. My parents are like a brick hanging from my neck. I am always being dragged into there drama. I know that I allow it. When it comes to them I feel like I can't say no. I'm like a small child still just trying to please them and chase there love. It's really getting to me. I NEED to lose this weight. It's a must. I just want to tell everyone that cause me the drama bye bye for awhile because I have to save myself. I'm just feeling really down right now and I want to stand up and FIGHT for myself and my happiness.

[mescelestus]

You go girl! You take care of you!

[Ratkitten]

I hear ya Journey. I have a big sister who is an active drunk and continues to make bad decisions. I am the only one she really talks to in the family and I hear the fallout from her decisions. There was a period of 2 months where I decided to erradicate every peanut M&M on the planet. I gained 30 lbs.

I am now taking control of my stress eating by seeing a therapist. I still can't not talk to my drunk sis. There are times when I can't listen to her crap and I don't answer the phone (even when she calls my work, cell and home 2x without a message). I'm doing better "hanging up". There are no answers to family drama, just support.

Come to the weekly thread so we can get to know you.

Hugs,
Ratkity

[neonwildflower]

Amen, Ratkitten... there really are no answers to family drama. Thankfully we all have 3FC for that support.

Journey - Hang in there! I have a quote that I've always lived by, it's from Anne of Green Gables. It says "isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" It used to just apply because I make a million mistakes a day, but now I'm using it as my mantra for healthy living, because if I make a mistake today, I can always start fresh tomorrow! It sounds like you've made progress, and I hope to hear that you keep it up and conquer that chocolate... ****, if you figure that one out can you share the secret? Lol. Take care.

[astrophe]

You CAN do this! You go!

A.

[basketcase]

You can do it, Journey!! Family is hard. But, that's why there is Tough Love. Refuse to participate. Refuse to take it on. It has taken me about 8 years of therapy to be able to actually do that. But, I can. It's no longer my fault. Well, it never was, but now I know that. Hang in there!!!

Are you at least using Dark Chocolate? And maybe limit the amount? Start small and reward yourself (in non-food ways) when you meet your goals.

[Deena52]

I can totally relate to getting involved in everyone else's drama. I have been doing this all my life, it seems. I want people to like me, I have difficulty saying no to anyone.

However, I am trying to work on this now.....because being so co-dependent like this obviously must involve there being something in it for me....and possibly distracts me from my own issues....with others so much worse off or more dysfunctional.

I think that going to a therapist is a great idea. You really do have to spend some time with either a therapist, reading info., a lot of soul-searching and being honest about yourself and why you do what you do.
It's quite difficult to break the habit....and IMO, CBT is the best way to go (cognitive behavior therapy).....make yourself do things that are NOT what you would normally do and gradually learn to not have it cause you anxiety and stress.

Melody Beattie wrote a great book on this....called "Co-dependent No More"

deena

[Cuter w Curves]

I feel for you so much... I had/have a lot of family drama.

So much that my legs use to shake when I got stressed.

Amazingly enough I have gotten myself into a strange place... I am almost zen like with the ones that cause me stress now. For me I walked away completely and only allow them in as far as the front driveway... no not figuratively.. LITERALLY.

I was able to spend an entire 9 hour window with the greatest cause of my past stress without losing that zen state even once and I spent 7 1/2 hours of it in the ER because of some personal medical drama. Me keeping myself together kept them from making it something stressful.

I can't tell you not to have chocolate because goodness knows I love it. Maybe you can do it in a different way though.

Things I found that limited how I ate chocolate:

1. Buy more expensive chocolate. It is damn hard to justify downing 20$ worth of chocolate but damn easy to down 5$ worth of chocolate bars...

2. Buy it in smaller, individually wrapped styles. i.e. Lindt truffles instead of bars, or boxes of unwrapped ones. Take 3... And leave those wrappers RIGHT IN YOUR FACE after you ate them. It is very eye opening if you go back and see more and more wrappers piling up.

3. FREEZE EM! Put it on ice... In a bag. 3 in a ziplock works well. Then you are pulling 1 bag. Portion off no more than 3 sets of 3 in the smaller bag and bury the rest in the back. You'll eat them slower... It is darn hard to bite into hard chocolates.

4. Go guilt FREE... Sweatleaf Stevia makes a chocolate raspberry stevia that is fantastic in water. No Cal. No sugar and makes water, milk or coffee have a chocolate flavour. Unfortunately they seem to have revamped their site and it is not on there... but other stores still carry it and online stores too. google flavoured sweetleaf stevia.

[Wendy J]

We're here for you, Journey.

With all that you're dealing with, you really are doing a good job. You're moving more and you're eating better as well. Truthfully, it's not the chocolate that is the obstacle. All what you're trying to do is find some comfort and take care of yourself when everyone around you isn't paying attention to your needs.

Have the chocolate--in moderation--while finding other ways to take care of yourself more and to begin to create boundaries within the relationships with your family.

You can do this!

[milliondollarbbw]

Originally Posted by Journey2010

I would love to report that I'm doing well and that I've lost some weight but I haven't. Weird thing is I have been moving around a TON and yet my eating hasn't been great. I've still been turning to chocolate. I've gotten my regular eating under control it's just that darn chocolate. I've had stress in my life as always. My parents are like a brick hanging from my neck. I am always being dragged into there drama. I know that I allow it. When it comes to them I feel like I can't say no. I'm like a small child still just trying to please them and chase there love. It's really getting to me. I NEED to lose this weight. It's a must. I just want to tell everyone that cause me the drama bye bye for awhile because I have to save myself. I'm just feeling really down right now and I want to stand up and FIGHT for myself and my happiness.

You CAN do this and you have to do it for yourself, ya know? Ultimately, if we aren't happy with who we are as people, we can't appreciate others in our lives who may care for us.

Yes, it is a fight if you have bad self-esteem or have just been downtrodden by the judgment of others based on weight. You have to fight those negative feelings and thoughts in your head that make you not care for yourself. They are insidious and ugly, and definitely not God-like. Whatever they are, I don't know, but you have to fight them because they do want us to be depressed and sad and sitting on the couch eating, and being depressed because we are eating and overweight.

Stay strong. we are here for you.