[Obsidianbbw]

Someone I knew (not a friend) passed away in his sleep. I know he was 300+ and possible 400+.

On FB people are posting it was a senseless tragedy, how did this happen, no idea how this happened.

I also know for a fact he had bad circulation, no idea what if any other health issues he had.

So today someone posted he had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in his lung, which can be caused by deep vein thrombosis (SP)). I know yes the clot could have happened suddenly, but I just keep thinking....If he had done something about the weight, maybe been more active...It may have been Preventable, or maybe it wasn't....

I didn't know him that well but a bunch of my friend did and no one wants to tarnish his memory, and I don't want to be a gossip, because really whats the point right he's gone.

Another fat person who died, from something.

Blah I'm crying now, no idea why I barely knew him.

So I guess I am venting here.

Funny it wasn't that long ago (a month) my ankles where permanently swollen, they didn't even go down over night. I think that's the problem it could have been me, maybe it still can be. blah

I may also be a little hormonal.

[sweetcakes736]

I think what's affecting you most is not only the loss but the feeling of regret. In life, what truly brings us happiness is fulfillment, not objects but accomplishments/memories. When we have regret over how we are living, it touches us deeply when someone passes, it reminds us of that we which have failed to achieve and leaves us wondering if we'll have enough time to set our own regrets right.
Life is a gift, but living is an option.

The question now is....what have you learned from the experience?

[Fit4Lyfe]

It really hits home when somebody passes away and I think it's hitting you really hard right now because you are on this journey; I really don't have anything else to add but that it's okay to vent and cry and acknowledge your feelings.

[shannonmb]

Well it's making me sad just reading about it, and obviously I don't know him. But it makes me sad because I know exactly how the poor guy probably felt, just didn't have the strength to do what he needed to do to be healthy. I have spent a lot of my life feeling that way, and knowing in the back of my mind (I was too scared to let it in the front) that I was absolutely killing myself, yet feeling powerless to change it. Super morbid obesity is absolutely demoralizing, not only to the person, but also to the people who love or care about him/her. The whole thing is just so senseless!

Now that I have a really good plan and am determined with all my heart and soul to get this weight off, and for good this time, there is not an hour that goes by that I am not thankful that I have come to this place in my life where change is possible. I still have a LOT to lose, and it's still possible that some obesity-related killer is lurking to take me. But with every pound I lose and every day I am more active, I get further away from the edge of the cliff. If I die today, I'm going down with a fight!!

I'm sorry this is hitting you so hard, and I know I would feel the exact same way. Use your emotions to fuel you. This man you know lost the battle, but it doesn't have to be too late for us!!

[lazylioness]

I think that you are feeling so emotional about it because you recognize that it COULD have been you. It is a scary thing when something hits THAT close to home. Also, I would be upset at people still not holding someone accountable for their own decisions, and turning a blind eye to an obvious problem.

True, there ARE medical conditions that cause weight gain, but barring that, we are ALL here and ALL taking this journey because we were not making the right choices. Granted they are hard choices, but lets face it, hard choices are a part of life. Some of us here have weight issues stemming from our parents, but not one of us here, is still being fed by our parents.(well presumably). It always bothers me more when you hear about people dying and it is from a preventable cause, and everyone talks about how sad it was, what a tragedy it was etc. etc. etc. The fact of the matter is that if this guy had his weight addressed, and if he had addressed it himself (like you are) then there is a good chance this would not have happened. So the tragedy of his death is actually the tragedy of his life.

Hmm sorry that sounds a bit snarky and mean. I kind of do not mean it to, but sort of kind of do too. Weight is a serious issue that we (as a society) do not pay enough attention to (other than what we look like in the most recent pair of jeans) Our medical profession does not deal with it, other than to tell us to lose weight or throw a surgery or a pill at it. There are very few insurance plans that will pay for the preventative, but would rather pay for the drugs.
I will climb down off my soap box now.

Sorry for your loss, and lets all learn something from this.

[AmandaMamma]

I felt all judge-y today at the mall. I was in the play area with my son and there was another obese mom there who was just so grumpy and bitter and had one of those faces where it looks like the person is always giving a mean looks. Anyway I had that judge-y feeling too then i felt sad, then I thought about how I have no clue about her situation. It was an interesting flurry of thoughts.