I have lost almost 60 pounds. I store an excess amount of fat on my abdominal/hip/stomach area. I'm short, so I look like a ball. Every time I go out in public the heads shake, eyes roll, and I am called huge pretty much every where I go, as if I am oblivious to the fact. I can't wait to get to a smaller size so the name calling will cease and I will be considered "normal" size. I posted here because I still have a lot left to lose, and it won't happen overnight. What do you say to yourself to keep going or not let the ignorance bother you?

First of all, congratulations on all the effort you've made toward achieving optimum health. You must be feeling so much better! All your hard work has definitely paid off!

When people stare at me, make comments, etc., all that is about them, not me. It's about their own insecurities about themselves, whether their issues are obvious or not. I've been called names by people who also have weight to lose. I've been stared at by obviously stupid, ill-mannered louts who think women exist only for their visual enjoyment and that I'm muddying their life experience. Once a very rude woman with the most horrible breath came over to let me know what I needed to do to lose weight, in order to have better health. I guess she didn't understand how simple oral hygiene was going to help her.

People will never stop being stupid and critical. But not everyone is like that, and for the ones that are, they are so shallow that the moment you are out of their sight, they've already forgotten about you.

I try to put as much energy into thinking about what they've said or done as they've put into formulating their thought on the subject. Which is none!

What people like that say to you is irrelevant to how you should feel about yourself. If someone says something like that to me I always think to myself, they do not know me or love me. But I have people in my life that do know me, love me, and think that I am beautiful the way that I am. They love me every day no matter how messy I might look. And it is those people who matter, people who mock you will get in their cars and drive away from you not knowing you or what you have been through and because of their ignorance they will not grow... but you will

Not to mention you don't deserve their distain because you are working to change and make a healthier you...FOR YOU... not for anyone else. And I bet not one of those people had to work so hard for anything.

Good Luck!

- J

Hi Better Health

Thanks for sharing when you feel hurt by other people. Hopefully you will know that we understand and that you have real friends here.
We both had similar HW and are very close to the same weight now. We've come a long way and just need to keep going. Today I was at the grocery, feeling frustrated, and trying to make healthy decisions. I glanced at a woman with a normal frame who was wearing clothes I would feel stylish wearing. It took just that glance for me to quit obsessing about food because I'll never get rid of my big round belly if I start back eating donuts and chips.

I am very self conscious at my health club. The towel doesn't fit around me like it does almost everyone else. It's a mini goal for the towel to go around. I won't weigh if anyone is looking and little kids stare at me. Oh well, thank goodness for 3FC.

i say that your in better shape than you where b4 and your trying i know its easier said than done but dont let A holesz like them get you down .... you have one life to live ... dont live it being miserable



now if i could just take my own advice ....

Better health, it is hard to go out into the world when people are mean or just plain rude to you. I have had a few experiences. Now I'm at the point where I feel I look more "normal" at the very least you can see my shape coming through more. I don't get many comments or things.

Saying that yesterday I had this "yuppie" couple at the local farm stand we venture to turning their nose up at me. Perhaps it was because of my weight? Not entirely sure...they did eye roll a lot as I collected veggies. I didn't even bat an eyelash this time as the last time I had a really really bad experience it really upset me and hurt me terribly. I talked about it on here and the ladies here gave me comfort as we all do understand and get it. *HUGS*

I remember when I first started to go to the produce markets at 340 pounds and I would have a full cart of veggies people would look at me and eye roll or you know..."stare" dun dun DUN! Well, they still do sometimes, but you know what? Screw em! lol I'm kind of in this attitude now of "it is about me, not you." I mean to say that I am more focused on getting the foods that make me feel good and that I need to be healthy. I can't focus on someone being a jerk to me.

Of course dealing with people calling you names, snickering, whispering (been there a few times) is far different than someone staring and eye rolling. I still find those things a bit hurtful, but still at the end of the day I shouldn't let it get to me totally as that can make my own progress stall. Hopefully that makes sense.

Just to counter this, I saw a very skinny woman a few months ago getting a bit of the same treatment. She was dressed in a way that did get some attention and really skinny and people were reacting to her in a negative way just because of how she looked. It isn't just with fat people...we are easier targets, but people in general can be quite rude and seem to target anything to make themselves feel better. Us big people just seem to be easier targets.

*HUGS*

People are rude in general, I try and ignore them but occasionally i will have a go back! I was walking though town once and a really horrible woman muttered "get out of my way you big fat lump" Big mistake. I was PMTing so just got totally loud about it - I have a kind of fight or cry response sometimes and that time I fought. She did end up apologising though and her husband came running after me to apologise for her too which was amusing. next time you should turn round and call their ugly asses out!

Thank you for all your thoughtful replies; I do apprecate it. I've regrouped and will continue on.

Denial is powerful. I look at pictures of myself at my highest weight. I look so inflated and sad( I was depressed and indifferent)...who the heck is that? I'm sad I thought it was okay to abuse my body and treat myself so poorly. It makes me cringe. Back on track.

You have to remember also, that just because someone is thin, it doesn't mean they are healthy. There are "skinny fat people". So if nothing else, you can rest in the fact that you are possibly more healthy than the people being rude. You are on your road to health, while a number of them falsely assume that because they are thin they are also healthy.