In the past, I joined Weight Watchers because a friend of mine was doing it. Although I was into it, I wasn't really in the right mindset. I would cheat in my log, adjusting portions etc. I lost 70 lbs, failed miserably and gained it back plus more.

Cut to the present. My main inspiration was the doctor constantly bringing up gastric bypass surgery. I didn't want to do it even if I could figure a way to get my insurance to pay for it. I decided at that point, I would not fail again.

Now there is no point to cheating to me, because like the old cliche goes "you're only cheating yourself." I'm finally doing this for me because I want to do it. The same thing happened to college right after high school. I felt forced into it and constantly dropped out or got bad grades. Later in life when I matured, I went back to school and got my degree while working full time and managing to stay on the honor roll.

It all comes down to psychological perception I think.

I eat in secret, especially at night. I should start making a real effort to stop doing that.

When I practiced law for a private firm, between my office and the courthouse were two McDonalds. I used to stop at the first and order my sausage mcmuffin meal, then go to the next one and get a second meal. Or I'd buy two meals, and order two sodas, so it would look like I was taking one of them to someone else. :rolleyes: Now I just wonder why I cared what a teenager working the drive-thru thought!

I don't do that anymore, but I still sometimes catch myself eating something in the kitchen, rather than walk into the other room where my husband is with it in hand.

I've done this since I can remember. Middleschool I wouldn't go into the caffeteria, I would stay in the kitchen so the other students wouldn't watch me. Mostly because some of the people I sit with would take half of my food when they already had their own. When I stayed behind I made friends with the lunchladies, who would give me some of the leftovers so I would over eat.
Highschool I just refused to eat lunch since there was nowhere to go I could be alone. I would just go to the Art Room and mess around to keep my mind off of food.

Now when I'm at work I will only eat if I'm alone or I won't eat at all. I work in a house with a special needs girl, and I've eaten infront of her maybe twice.

It just feels uncomfortable to me. Since I work at the house I have to eat their food, and the girl watches me the entire time I am eating, and to top t all off, she tells her sister EVERYTHING I do, and eat. So I've gotten into the habit of either inhaling my food while I'm making hers, or taking mine to the back while she watches TV, or just not eating.

It makes me feel bad a little, but eating infront of her makes me feel much worse. I just can't stand being stared at but I don't have the heart to tell her to stop, so now she tells her sister that I don't eat anything.

Oh yes, I was a secret eater for a long long time. I would eat with my family and then when everyone was asleep, the monster was unleashed. I would eat anything and everything that was not nailed down. I remember once when I was so sick and I wanted chocolate, I told my DH I was going to get medicine and he offered to go. Oh no no, I replied, not sure just what to get. Well I got there and right at the check out was my aahhhhhhhhhh favorite candy bar, "The Roasted Almond Cadbury Bar", it was gleaming and calling my name. I was purchasing two, and when the clerk rung them up, I said to her, darling, you did not charge me enough, I have two. And then she spoke those golden words, THEY ARE ON SALE!!! I walked out with six, yes, that is what I said SIX. I went to the car and ate a whole one, and came home and hid the rest. Once everyone was asleep, I had downed another and within 2 days, they ALL were gone. I also, remember going to the fast food joints, which one does not matter, I went to all of them, and ordering two different meals and saying to the clerk to justify myself, and my daughter better like what I got her, just to make her think I was really ordering for two and then parking around the back and eating both. You know you feel better about doing this alone because there is no one there to judge you or look at you in disgust. I did this for so long on day I was huge. 359 Huge. Saying all of this to say, NO YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We all have been there, but at some point we must make the decision to STOP. Why stop, because the only one we are ultimately hurting is ourselves. We could be shortening our time here on earth with the people we love and that love us. It is not easy, it is not quick, and it is lifelong. We have to do this, we must do this and with encouragement from each other, we can do this. You see, we truly are our brothers and sisters keepers. Sorry for being so long winded. If you get a chance, join me in the One Positive thing about me today forum here in the 300+, and proclaim one positive statement about for that day. It really is empowering and motivating, and it is really good to lift your spirits and instead of always beating yourself up and being down. I hope someone gets a blessing from this.

Love all of you here at 3fc.
AGGIE

Re: Eating in Secret
 

I would say I generally don't eat in secret but being unemployed for 9 weeks changed that. My GF wants to lose 10lbs but would easily do it with a little workout and cutting out soda. She looks great and is a junk food junkie. She is also a mechanic and probably burns alot of the twinkies and chips off during the day. I play housewife and buy all the lunch fixins and while unemployed found myself bored and depressed. I am a menace with processed cake snacks like little debbie and hostess. I would pretty much mindlessly eat 3-5 servings throughout the day. I was alone when I did it. I would NEVER do this in front of someone. I did at times try to hide the wrappers and empty boxes.

Another thing. I have been working out hard and eating healthy on my unemployment but than a have a bad day and it all goes to s**t.
I have a terrible self punishment habit of picking the next day to get back on track so I will eat anything I want and lots of eat that final day before and not workout. This happened last night. We ordered chinese food. I ate most of it but the both of us didn't finish off it all. When my GF went in the other room I went out of sight in the kitchen and finished it off.. quite terrible of me ...

I do that alot too, where I just say "I can eat this now because I'll burn it off tomorrow!" and when tomorrow comes I do the same thing again. I always feel guilty for a short while but then I get over it and do it again.

Also, chinese food is my #1 weakness.</3